Rainbow had been sitting in her bed thinking constantly for over an hour. It was early morning and she had absolutely no clue what she could do to mend the situation she had gotten herself into. She thought about Soarin, the pony she has been with for 4 months, how ending it with him could possibly be detrimental to her chances of joining the Wonderbolts. Even being with him for 4 months, she didn’t know how he would react at the fact she had cheated on him. He could sabotage her chances of getting in just because of spite. Hiding it from him wasn’t an option either. Rainbow Dash felt that keeping something from somepony was just as bad as lying them every day.
She thought about the night before. When she flew back from Applejack and Fluttershy’s house, she surprised the Unicorn with another tackle, and from then on out had a great time like nothing had happened. The whole night she and Vinyl Scratch had a great time, Rainbow Dash Dj-ing the last hour and a half of the party into the earliest hours of the morning. They didn’t kiss again, or even talk about their kisses from hours earlier. It was apparent to Rainbow Dash that they’d good Friends and nothing more if she stayed with Soarin, even though she knew she still had feelings for her.
Rainbow Dash knew that if she stayed with Soarin, and didn't give that mare from the party another chance, she'd never get over it. She sunk into her hooves more. She had no choice but to tell the truth. Rainbow Dash could lie like the best, but not when it came to hurting somepony else.
Through a window just a few feet above her, she saw the sun peeking its way through, a sign she always used to decide when to go visit Soarin before he goes to work. If she decided to not go to see him, she assumed that he probably wouldn’t mind considering that he knows that she went to the party the night before.
But that would be dishonest of her. She knew she could see him this morning, but she definitely couldn’t admit everything then. It would probably ruin both of their days and putting in a bad mood before he works with the Wonderbolts just seems dangerous.
Rainbow Dash made up her mind she wanted to see Soarin before he left to work. After floating out of her bed, and stretching because she had been in basically the same position for over an hour, she made her way to the door and exited. She stopped in her tracks, her eyes hurting from the brightness of the sun. Even she, a weather pony, didn’t know it was going to be such a sunny day. It made sense to her after a moment of thinking. To have a sunny day after a rainy day is how they’ve always had done it since she joined the team. After blinking a few times, she darted out in her daily path to Soarin’s home where he should still be.
During her flight there, she summarized her problems to herself.
I love Soarin, and I know I do. I kissed another mare twice and I loved it. Well, she wasn’t just another mare; she’s the coolest mare I’ve ever met. I still have feelings for her. I need to find a way to tell both of them and not hurt them...somehow
“Gah!” Rainbow Dash shouted out in frustration as she flew over the center of town, “It is it even possible to get out of this without even hurting somepony?”
Why did I even get into this love stuff? I should have known even with a Wonderbolt that I’d take him for granted and want more and ruin everything Then she thought the most important question she had.
Is it fair to stay with somepony if you know you love another pony too?
Rainbow Dash sighed. These kinds of dilemmas are not what she is used to. The Pegasus didn’t want to bother Applejack and Fluttershy again either. They didn’t deserve to get roped even more into her personal problems.
I used to always judge Applejack and Fluttershy for their choices, and now I understand why they did it…I should apologize to them again It made the Pegasus feel embarrassed when she thought about how obvious she made her disapproval of their choices in the past.
Maybe I should give Vinyl a chance…take a break from Soarin, and try things with Vinyl
In a perfect world for Rainbow Dash, Soarin would be ok with a break and would let her try things with Vinyl Scratch. After a while if she didn’t feel it going anywhere, she could go back to Soarin, stay best friends with the unicorn and live life that way. Or stay with Vinyl if things go well with her and be best friends with Soarin.
Wouldn’t everypony just think I’m copying Applejack and Fluttershy?
She shook her head at her own thought That shouldn’t even matter, who cares what anypony thinks!
It took her a little bit to realize that during her day dreaming she had passed Soarin’s house completely and was heading towards Cloudsdale. She also completely failed to notice Pinkie Pie trying to get her attention, now long gone back in Ponyville.
Staying up all night must be getting to me…
She forcefully yawned trying to wake herself up, then turned around and headed towards the stallion’s home, now adjusting her path to look out for Soarin to see if he had left already.
Maybe I should be single…be friends with the two, hopefully
Rainbow Dash liked this idea. It was her most logical considering that the two ponies she’s involved with would probably understand why she did it. It was also the hardest for her to imagine herself doing. She’d basically be breaking things off with two very important ponies in her life because she can’t choose between them.
Celestia help me, I helped save Equestria twice, cut me some slack!
It was then when she was pulled from behind, nearly scaring her to death. When she realized it was Soarin, she smiled automatically, not conveying her true feelings but Soarin wasn’t very good at telling when she was hiding something anyway.
“Hey beautiful! How was the party last night! I’m surprised you’re even up!”
The Wonderbolt and the mare flew side-by-side, now setting their course on his work.
“O-Oh, y-yeah, it was great,” Rainbow Dash said unconvincingly. Even she didn’t know why, the party was perfect in her eyes.
Soarin frowned, “Look Rainbow, I’m sorry I couldn’t come. Duty calls, you know. But I do have some good news,”
The mare looked at him expectantly.
“I’m going to use a day off or two to spend some time with you tomorrow and the next,”
Rainbow Dash smiled half-heartedly, “Well, I-“ Her voice trailed off. Don’t confess now and ruin his day, “That sounds great,” Once again, the Rainbow Pegasus responded less enthusiastic than the stallion expected. He slowed to a stop in mid-air, above part of the outer-edge of Ponyville, Cloudsdale still in their sights.
She could see he looked confused even through his outfit for work.
“Is there something wrong Rainbow Dash? Because you’re not nearly exited as I thought you would be,” He said this in a serious tone bothering the Rainbow Pegasus.
She put on a fake laugh as if he was being weird, “No, silly! Why would there be? I’m super exited,” Her whole plan from the get-go was to not lie to anypony and realizing she just did made her feel terrible.
Soarin thought for a moment, “Dash, if there’s something you need to say, just say it,”
`The mare sighed, “Can’t you wait until later…”
”For what?” The stallion looked at her, crossing his hooves. His whole demeanor changed as he started to take guesses in his mind at why she would hide something from him.
”Look, Soarin, I’d rather talk to you later, in not such a public area,”
Soarin looked all around them, “We’re in the middle of the air with nopony near us, Dash,”
“I don’t want to ruin you day,” Her last excuse now exhausted, she knew she really didn’t have a choice if he presses further.
“Whatever it is, it won’t. It’s a rule when I joined the Wonderbolts to not let life interfere with the job,”
Rainbow Dash frowned, “Well, last night I met a mare,"
The stallion squinted at her, at a loss to what he should expect her to say, and stood silent waiting for her to continue.
Rainbow Dash smiled awkwardly despite feeling terrible, "and uh, well I’ll cut to the chase. We kissed,”
Soarin's heart sank and look away from the mare in front of him, but didn’t speak.
The mare continued, “Yes, a mare…and today, I realized how… well-“
“I knew this was gonna happen…” Soarin interrupted, turning his back to Rainbow Dash. He didn’t feel angry or vengeful, or even hurt. He felt sad knowing he could have prevented this. He placed all the blame on himself, without even hearing the whole story.
“What was?” She questioned, her heart fluttering at the genuine sadness she saw in him.
“I haven’t exactly been the best to you, I actually sort of expected this-well… I expected you to break up with me, which is why I was setting up all these days just for us…”
“I’m really really really sorry, Soarin, I didn’t want to hurt anypony with this…” Rainbow Dash felt terrible knowing she did this right as their relationship could have gotten much better.
He turned around to face her again, still hanging in mid-air, calm and collected, “I-I guess I was too late huh?” He said with a saddened laugh.
“It’s not like I don’t love you, Soarin…but I can’t lie to you. I hung out with her the whole night, we only kissed twice, and that was at once…but I can’t shake the feeling I’ll be losing something big in my life if I let her or you go,” Half of herself hated herself for telling the truth, but the other half knew it was what she had to do, whatever the outcome.
They stood in mid-air, avoiding eye contact for nearly a minute. Rainbow Dash so far had done what she had set out to do. Be truthful, not hide anything. She wanted his trust in her, whether they were together or not, and being truthful without delaying anything could be her best shot. The rainbow Pegasus always knew Soarin as a trustful stallion, somepony she could also trust in more than anypony else besides ponies like Applejack or Pinkie Pie. She looked beyond their relationship and knew she was still talking to a Wonderbolt, one of her idols which she respected more than most ponies before even meeting him. It made the fact she betrayed him that much worse on her conscious.
“I appreciate your honesty, Dash. But… I love you a-and I don’t want this to mean the end of us, you know? I-I-I’ve said to you countless times that I love you no matter what, and I meant it”
This surprised Rainbow Dash, her heart sinking a ton, “I love you too, but I don’t know what to do… and it’s unfair for me to say that-…I don’t even know…I-I’m just so confused!” She exclaimed with a frustrated sigh.
Soarin took another moment to think. He had been assuming this would happen for a while, but in the back of his mind never EXPECTED it to actually happen, even if he told Rainbow that he did. He knew in the bottom of his heart that something would have to give eventually, but he just ignored it because he had no choice. They had gotten together right as his work demands had increased substantially due to an air-show tour they’re about to do across Equestria. It was probably the worst time for them to get together and he knew it. He soon came to a decision in his mind, lifting his head up to look at Rainbow Dash in the eyes.
"I-I think we need to take a break, Rainbow…"
Rainbow Dash heard what he said, but never expected him to be the one to say it, and it felt weird to her. Even when she had expected this, now that it was happening she felt an odd numbness as a reaction to what he said. Lost in thought, she didn’t respond to him so Soarin continued.
“I want you to use this time to, well-“ He looked up at her again, “I want you to use this time to find out which of us you really love, because it isn’t fair for me to know you love somepony else too, a-and…well, maybe the fact you have to find out who you love more is all I need to know…but we’ll see”
Rainbow Dash looked down again, she didn’t feel she should look at him, “I-I understand, I’m so sorry Soarin…”
He turned around and started flying away slowly, Rainbow flying beside him once again.
“If you do decide to give us another shot, I promise you that things between us would be much better,”
They stopped and hung in mid-air once again, having arrived in front of the building he enters for his work. This was the last conversation they would have as a couple for what could be forever; and it hit Rainbow Dash with an odd sadness she didn’t expect. For the past few hours she had expected this outcome and felt relatively ok about it because she knew she deserved it. However, now that it was happening, she struggled to hide the tears welling up inside her. Rainbow Dash’s logic helped her accept that she wouldn’t be with him much longer, even though she loved him. However, Rainbow knew that if she does truly love him, she’ll still feel this pain as long as the break lasts.
They talked for a while before he went into work. It was hard for both of them; even though they both knew it was unavoidable. The spoke about how long it would last, and decided that there was no point in determining a set date for them to reunite. Rainbow Dash apologized a few more times even though Soarin seemed to have been taking the news well. Soarin left it up to Rainbow Dash to come to him when she made a decision, no matter what the decision was.
At Soarin’s request they kissed one last time before going their separate ways. The same question reoccurred for both of them as they went through the rest of their days.
Was that our last kiss?