I sat outside, smoking a hookah by myself. The soft trickling of the rain was soothing. It was a wondrous moment of enjoyment. I know I am insane, but somehow I learned to accept it. With that acceptance I thought I had found peace. Little to my knowledge a pony decided to sit next to me. Quiet as he always is.
"Man, it's nice to be alone and not stressed out anymore." I said out loud to myself. It's weird that I speak to myself, but I figure if I never answer back, then I'd be okay.
"Eyup." I flinched a little as I looked over and let out some smoke. Big Mac was sitting in the chair next to me. Which was odd, and made me question my sanity once again. Big Mac motioned for the hookah hose, which surprised me as I handed it over to him. He took it out of my hands and took a long drag off of it. He gave me a look.
"So, Big Mac?" I knew what the response would be.
"Eyup." Curiosity began to grip me as he sat there smoking off my hookah. Which is weird because he doesn't exist.
"What, why are you here?" He handed me my hookah hose back, and as a began to take it, he shrugged. I guess I can't ask too much from a silent pony.
"So, I figure you will give me the most honest answer." He nodded. "Am I insane?" I dragged off the hookah, allowing my apple flavored shisha to make me salivate. I paused my thoughts, and cancelled out the sounds, awaiting an answer. Instead he was silent. He only motioned for the hose, which I gladly passed. I sat on the edge of my seat awaiting the answer to the question. Instead I still heard silent raindrops, and my hookah bubble as he smoked off of it. Some how, I felt as if that was the answer. Some how, just accepting the silence seemed better than exploring what was inside my head. Some how, I knew the answer before I even asked it, and maybe this was my own little way of accepting it.
The rain began to get a little heavier and the wind blowing, I caught glimpse of Big Mac handing me my hose back. I looked out into my street, at the grey that surrounded everything in sight. I took a toke off my hookah, and looked back over to see Big Mac had disappeared. I wasn't sure what was going on in my mind, but maybe this was the first step in learning. Acceptance maybe the only way to learn about something else.
I sat quietly, listening to the rain pelting the bushes in front on my porch. The bushes were very green in contrast to the day. A deep green in fact. Somehow, watching the water slowly drip off the leaves, reminding me of a tear. It wasn't a tear of sadness, but a tear of curiosity. I tried not to think about tears of curiosity, considering they don't exist.
I sat up, the metal chair moved a little making a small scraping noise on the concrete below. I grabbed the burning coal off the top of my hookah and dropped it into my glass of water. It sizzled and turned the water black.
"Um, Ben?" I looked up from the black glass to see Fluttershy.
Instead of jumping or flinching, I just simply gave a reply. "Yes?"
"Is it okay if I ask you a question?" Fluttershy seemed concerned in her usual nature. I just nodded. "Are you okay?" She came up next to me.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I looked back out onto my street. It was late in the day, but everything was still bright as the morning had been, just a little more grey. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Fluttershy sit down on the concrete next to me, and she also stared at the street.
"Out of curiosity, Fluttershy, why are birds still active even on a rainy day?" I looked down at her, and she smiled.
"Because, if they laid around all day, they wouldn't survive." I accepted the answer, and my mind had already begun to think about a lazy bird.
"So, what if I were still active on a rainy day?" Fluttershy looked up at me, with a confused look. I wasn't really sure why the questions confused her, but I awaited an answer anyways.
"Well, I guess you would be surviving then." Some how, I felt that answer to be acceptable.
I turned around and unscrewed the top from my hookah. I poured the water out into the bushes. It made a different kind of splash on the ground, much different from the rain. It was unnatural. I screwed the hookah top back in, and grabbed my coals and the lighter. Fluttershy was gone when I looked back up.
The hookah was put back together as I took it inside and upstairs to my room. I set it by my door, and went to my bed. I laid face up, staring at the ceiling. I gave out a big yawn, when I looked over to see Fluttershy again. She was staring at me, with curiosity in her face.
"Um, ben, can I come in? It's okay right?" I nodded, deciding not to say much. She walked over to my desk chair and sat in it. Staring at me in silence. I enjoyed the silence, but I didn't enjoy the uncomfortable stare. She looked like she wanted to say something.
"Ben, are you sure you're okay?" I nodded again, as my blue room put me at peace. She must have not been happy with that answer, because she gave the look of 'are you sure?' I sighed.
"Fluttershy, I am fine, just I've been thinking about a lot lately. I mean I figured you should know, after all you are a part of me." She looked eager to listen, and it was odd, but I didn't feel like I was talking to myself. "Well, if you must know, I've been thinking about who I am. You know, always questioning what I should be, and I mean, you guys should consider yourself lucky. In your world, you find out who you are, and you can be happy with that, and even paid for being that. Humans, well we aren't that lucky." She seemed to understand, but still had a look of curiosity.
"Well, why don't you do what you want? I mean if you want to..." I was a little annoyed, but I guess she was right. 'Why don't I do what I want?' I thought to myself. I knew the answer as to why, but I felt as if the why she asked was different.
"I'm not totally for sure Flutters. It maybe due to the fact it's pressure from society to conform, but I've never felt pressured. Maybe it's to be better than what I am, but why would I want to be better than myself?" I was lost, and I'm sure Fluttershy was a little lost too.
"Actually, everyone wants to do that." I was surprised, I wasn't expecting an answer to my rhetorical question, and I certainly did not expect an answer like that.
"Well, I guess that's right. We all strive to better ourselves, but why?" With that I looked up to see that Fluttershy had disappeared, and I was left with the ageless question. Why?