Blueblood trotted up to the local library, his royal entourage still intact. He knocked lightly on the door and sat back, waiting for the proprietor to answer. Several moments passed as he waited; long, piteously-silent moments.
He knocked again, louder this time. The library was still as quiet, coincidentally enough, as a library. He pounded the door, a sour look overtaking his face. Still no acknowledgement. Furious, he all but assaulted the door with his hooves. The portal shook, rattled, and rolled, but remained closed.
Blueblood turned to his guards with a pout. “Will somepony break down the door? I have royal business to attend to!”
One soldier pointed a hoof at a note stickied to the doorframe. “Experimentation in progress, please ring bell.”
The alicorn prince slapped himself in the face several times as he rang the bell. After two ding-a-lings, the door finally opened. A small dragon cracked it open slowly, his eyes pleading. “Get me out of here! I think she’s gone—”
“Spike! Who’s there?” a voice shouted from within the library.
The dragon straitened up in terror. “It’s a bunch of guards and a princess, Twilight!”
Blueblood’s blood pressure rose, but he kept silent as the bizarre scene unfolded.
Spike turned back to Blueblood as tears poured down his face. “She’s in a mood again, Your Highness. She’s trying to find a way for ponies to gain nutrition through photosynthesis!”
A clatter rose from behind him as another pony clomped around. “Don’t just stand there, let them in!”
Spike shivered as he pulled back the door. “The worst part about it is that I think it’s working…”
The library that Blueblood stepped into was much like every other library that he had been to. Books lined the walls, tacky busts of Starswirl the Bearded sat quietly in corners, and the smell of dust set his nose a-twitch. Spike led him down a hallway and to a door. “She’s in the basement. That’s why you’re here, right? To see… her?”
Blueblood nodded, his mouth a grim line. He pushed aside the door and trotted down a flight of stairs. The room at the bottom very much resembled a cheesy sci-fi laboratory. Lights blinked all around as machines printed out series of calculations. A few heat lamps were set up around the lab, pointed either at sensors or small collections of flowers.
“Just a minute,” the unmistakable voice of Twilight Sparkle said. A loud crash followed her comment, accompanied by a scream of surprise. The unicorn mare trotted into view a moment later, apparently no worse for the wear.
Although the normally, for lack of a better word, normal young mare appeared to be covered from head-to-hoof with violets.
Blueblood’s frown grew deep and furrowed as she walked closer, flowers wafting with each step she took. Twilight extended a flora-covered hoof in greeting. The prince decided that it was prudent to not touch the flowery mare.
“So, you’re a new princess, huh?” The flowers on her face perked up as Twilight smiled. “That must be pretty exciting!”
“I am… I am…” Words escaped him as his eyes trekked over her body. “Violets?”
“Nice to meet you, Princess Violets!” She smiled for a moment, before the meaning of his comment dawned on her. “Oh, you mean my violets.” She grinned sheepishly, her flowers dancing playfully. “Just a little experiment I’ve been working on. It’s nowhere near perfect.”
The violets covering her body wilted and dropped to the floor. Twilight cast a glum look around as she sat down. “And nowhere near permanent.”
“Spike…” He cleared his throat. “Spike said you were trying to adapt photosynthesis to ponies.”
“Absolutely!” she shouted. She ran off to grab a long sheet of calculations to show him. Naturally, none of it made a lick of sense. “I could completely end the world’s food problems if everyone only needed the sun and water to function!”
Blueblood blanched. “I don’t think I’d like to be a tree.”
“Well, there will be certain social and physical stigmas to overcome about stigmata…” She shrugged. “But, nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
Blueblood shook his head. “No, seriously, this is quite bizarre. And quite horrifying. You really think that ponies should become plants?”
Twilight set about watering the plants gathered around her laboratory. “Half-plants. We can still enjoy regular food, but we only need sunlight and water to survive.”
“Are you truly not seeing how utterly freaky this is?” he asked as he waved a hoof at the dead violets on the ground. “This is, hooves down, the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Philistine,” she mumbled. She walked up to him and smiled. “So, Princess, is there a reason for your visit?”
He gaped at her. “You’ve been talking to me for five minutes and haven’t figured out that I. Am. A. Prince!?”
Her eyes widened as she took in his body with a new light. “Hooo-kay, then. Blueblood, I presume?”
“Yes,” he grumped. He reached under his wings to produce a letter. “This is an invitation to my coronation, taking place this evening. I would be very appreciative if the six bearers of the Elements of Harmony were in attendance.”
Twilight squinted at him. “Aren’t you already the Crowned Prince?”
“Yes, yes. I shall be the Twice-Crowned Prince of Equestria, blah, blah, blah, good day.” He strode back up the stairs hastily, not wishing to prolong his stay any longer. A sobbing Spike tried to follow him out the door, but was too slow to catch up with the prince.
“Spike! I need to see if this formula works on dragons!”
With a scream, Spike threw himself out the first-story window. He was last seen running at full tilt towards the relative safety of the Everfree Forest.
“Now then, let’s return to Canterlot, shall we?” Blueblood spread his wings to take flight, but was interrupted by a small, still voice.
“E-excuse me, Princess, could you step aside, if you want, and let these ducks pass?”
Blueblood reached the breaking point. Veins bulged and hate burned in his eyes. His teeth ground together like great, gnashing carriage crushers. Steam snorted out of his nostrils as he spun on the voice that had dared to offend, neigh, affront him in such a manner. Spittle flew as he shouted out his anger to the heavens.
“I AM NOT A PRETTY PONY PRINCESS!!!”
With his rage vented, the prince finally saw the object of his outburst. On the ground lay the cutest, most kindhearted pegasus in existence. She was scrunched up in a butter-yellow ball of fear, shivering under his commanding gaze. His eyes grew wide as his mouth flopped open. “Uh, I mean…”
She flinched as if he had threatened to hit her. “Oh, dear. I didn’t mean to frighten you…” He tilted his head as her eyes seemed to sparkle. “Are you… Oh, no, please don’t cry. I couldn’t handle it if you…”
Quiet sobs racked her delicate body. She hid her face in her pink mane, and covered her body as best she could with her wings. “Oh, no, don’t do the fuzz-ball thing. Please stop crying.”
By now, Blueblood’s guards were nearly sobbing themselves. “Gee, Your Highness, why do you have to be so mean?”
Blueblood rubbed his face, telling himself that it wasn’t because there were tears in his eyes. He certainly wasn’t crying because he felt convicted of a horrendous crime, either. “I didn’t mean to be mean…”
“Well, you were!” the guard answered. “You’re a terrible pony!”
Blueblood would have denied the claim, had he not broken down sobbing at that very moment. “Oh, please forgive me! I didn’t want to be a mean, evil pony, I didn’t!”
“Hey!” a scratchy voice shouted from the sky. It was as if Heaven itself was sending angels to defend the timid mare. “Which one of you made Fluttershy cry!?”
A half-dozen hooves shot out, accusing Blueblood of the unforgivable sin. A rainbow of fur shot past, swirling around the prince and coming to a stop before him. He looked down on the blue mare with the colorful hair, awaiting his judgment. “And just who do you think you are, Princess!?” she growled
Despite his earlier penance, Blueblood sneered at the multi-hued mare. “I am not, not, not, a million times not, a princess.”
Rainbow Dash’s face scrunched up as she examined his wings. “You sure? ‘Cuz you look like an alicorn to me.”
“Yes,” he replied. “I am the first ever alicorn prince.”
She chewed at her bottom lip. “Eeeh, you sure?”
“Positive.”
She ceased chewing her lip and switched to rubbing her chin. “Is this one of those ‘personal choice’ things they keep talking about in sensitivity training?”
He lowered an eyebrow. “I’m not sure what you—” He gasped in outrage as the synapses clicked. “I assure you, madam, I am psychologically and physically male!”
“Oh-KAY, too much information!” Rainbow Dash placed a hoof on Fluttershy’s back and tried to coax the nervous mare out of her shell. “Time to go home, Flutters. Let’s leave the ‘prince’ alone for a while.”
“I mean it!” he shouted. “I was born this way!”
Rainbow Dash guffawed, but otherwise held her tongue. Fluttershy slowly stood to her hooves, avoiding Blueblood’s gaze whenever possible. The prince was simultaneously torn between sorrow for the yellow mare and ire for the blue one. The pegasi fled, leaving him alone with his guards.
The silence was broken shortly afterwards by a prolonged scream. The royal entourage turned as one to see Twilight Sparkle run past in a panic. Her body was covered from head-to-tail in violets once more, though there seemed to be more of them this time. She was pursued through the town streets by a cloud of small, hungry bees.
She shrieked in horror as the swarm slowly caught up to her. “But I don’t wanna be pollinated! Waaahhh!!!”
The potential hurdles of solving world hunger were rapidly becoming apparent to her.
She disappeared into the distance, the bees hot on her trail. One guard tilted his head to whisper to his companion, “Should we help her?”
The other answered with a nod. “With your permission, Your Highness?”
Blueblood sighed. “Go ahead, she needs you more than I do.”
One of the soldiers turned as they left. “Shall I hail a carriage for the pretty pony princess?”
A lightning bolt struck the guard in the rear, sending him careening towards the others.
Celestia sighed as she tore the metal head off of one rogue robot. “One down, several dozen more to go.”
The streets of Canterlot were paved with the litter of robotic bodies. She had veritably torn through the ranks of the shoplifting army, and she was growing sick of the ongoing battle.
She turned to her guide and glanced at the pony’s cutie mark. “A pen in ink? Are you a writer?”
“Oh, yes, marm!” he replied as he ran. “Hobby Horse is the name, writing is my game!”
Out of nowhere leapt a group of Blueblood’s robots. Celestia dodged, kicked, and punched as a deadly dance ensued. Hobby Horse sat down as he talked, oblivious to the awesome battle that waged behind him.
“I’ve been a writer for a while. I’ve even gotten slightly famous for my alicorn prince story.”
“Oh, really?” asked Celestia as she stabbed her glowing horn through a golem’s chest. “What are you writing about now?”
“Just a little ditty about some children going on an adventure,” he replied. A laser struck the ground right next to him, its aim distorted by Celestia’s quick uppercut. “It hasn’t generated too much excitement, but I have good feelings about it.”
“How interesting…” Celestia grunted as she held up a pile of sparking robot bodies. She heaved with all of her earth pony strength and tossed them right off of Canterlot Mountain. “I shall have to look into it.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty.” He bowed. “Say, don’t you think it odd that we haven’t run into any robots in the last few minutes?”
A groan of frustration and anguish resided deep in the princess’s chest. She held it in, but only until she could have a moment to herself. She looked out across her kingdom, searching for any sign of her “beloved” nephew.
“It’s time to meet Blueblood face to face, don’t you think?”