“So what your trying to tell me is that all this time, Daring-Do was actually Daring Doo?”
“Yep! I’m absa-posatutely sure of it!”
“And you think this because….?”
“Because when I saw your picture on the front of this book, I recognised you right away!”
Daring rolled her eyes and sighed.
“Recognised me from where?”
The strange pony reached into her saddlebags and drew out a battered baby photograph. Disturbingly, Daring could see the resemblance between herself and the proffered infant, though she could hardly be certain as the foal’s blank flank made no connection to her own compass.
Daring had had her cutie mark since her earliest memory, as it turns out, a 2 year old surviving in the jungle on her own was a special talent in itself. But it wasn’t until she was taken in by a caring archaeology professor that this talent was actually given any meaning.
Raised on campus, her only needs were knowledge and excitement. When the sports teams and libraries ceased to provide enough, she ventured out for more, and soon fell in tune with the call for adventure providing both in great supply.
Lost in the histories of civilisations and races, Daring never had time or inclination to try to look into her own history. Able to make friends and allies across the globe with her charisma and heroism, she had no desire for the bonds of family.
After all, if her parents had left her in that jungle to fend for herself, they weren’t the kind of ponies Daring wanted anything to do with.
Now this…. Pony shows up and tries to stick like glue right from the off.
Despite having no proof to deny the strange pony’s claims, Daring was suspicious of her intentions.
“And instead of seeking me out earlier, you just happened to run into one of my books now, 13 stories into its multi-million bit success and claim to be family?”
The other pony was clearly hurt by the insinuation, but Daring continued on regardless.
“And even if you are genuine, have you ever considered you might have the wrong mare? I’m sorry but two pictures and a gut feeling does not constitute shared genes.”
Of course she would start crying.
‘Oh Celestia on a dirt bike. Give me spike pits and flamethrowers over this any day.’
Daring bit her lip, either this mare was a really good actor- or worse, she really did believe they were family. Between sobs, the grey Pegasus managed to cry out pitifully.
“What if your right…..what if I did get all my hopes up and barge in here for nothing….. What if I am only good at screwing everything up? -ow!”
Daring plucked a hair out of that yellow head and dropped it in an envelope from her desk.
“Look….. I know some guys who can run a few tests and find out if this is a real connection, Allright?”
The hope on her face almost hurt to look at. Seeing 'mystery Sis' had stemmed the flow and sniffled the last drop, Daring decided to at least make conversation.
“How about we start with your name?”
“Ditzy, but everypony calls me Derpy.”
Calming down, Derpy decided to at least try to answer the accusations levelled at her best as she could.
“I didn’t find out about you sooner because I don’t go into bookstores or libraries very often. I…. don’t read so well.”
She raised a hoof to gesture at her face and it’s most glaring feature.
“Whenever I asked, Mom and Dad would never tell me anything about you. It was like they didn’t want to admit you existed, and I was never a suitable replacement. In the end, this picture is the only way I knew you were real. I guess they thought I wasn’t smart enough to handle the truth, just like everypony else does.”
Daring decided to change the subject before she wound up with a flood of tears. Again.
“How did you find where I lived anyway?”
“That colt at the newspaper stand across the street recognised your picture.”
Daring’s eye twitched.
“But of all the cities to search, what sent you here?”
“Uh… actually this was the 4th place I checked.”
“W-what?!”
The sheer stupidity made for the most incredulous jaw drop Daring had yet to produce, but Derpy just smiled and nuzzled into Daring’s wing.
“I had to try and find you, Silly!”
Daring wriggled away with no small discomfort. For a pony that had spent her entire life relying on her own wits and skills and hidden from those who loved the tales of her heroism, suddenly being exposed to direct affection was as foreign and disconcerting as the touch of any quicksand-spider-and-snake-infested death trap she had ever come across.
Even so, clearly it took dedication and guts to keep going like that, on a quest with no sure answers and the odds against you. Kinda reminded her of….herself.
‘Whoever she is… I can’t help but start to like her.’
“Hey… It’s getting late, we should get some rest and figure this through tomorrow.”
‘Tomorrow…’
Daring felt a twinge of guilt as the other mare just nodded and curled up on her couch.
‘Tomorrow I get to be free. But it’s a life not for anypony else. Not even…. Family.’
Daring-Do dowsed the lanterns with a wing and uneasily settled into bed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I’m telling ya Twilight, I searched everywhere! Derpy just up and ditched town!”
Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes and nudged closed her copy of ‘Amazing Advents that Allude to Apocalypse’ with a burst of magic before exasperatedly turning to her irate friend.
“So what? Derpy might be accident-prone but she’d not take it if she wasn’t going to bring it back. And hay, even if she did lose it, one lost Library book isn’t worth a starting up a wild chase across Equestria.”
In less than a second, Twilight was pinned to the ground.
“WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH TWILIGHT SPARKLE?!!”
Twilight donned a deadpan expression.
“Very funny Rainbow.”
A moment passed and Rainbow Dash didn’t move an inch. Twilight sighed wholeheartedly.
“The password is Zap Apple.”
Satisfied, the Prismatic Pegasus Paragon dismounted the Purple Princess’s Protégé and helped her up.
“Rainbow, as always your loyalty is commendable, but these constant ‘spy checks’ are just paranoid.”
“And when Twilight thinks somepony is paranoid, you know they’re in trouble”
Spike chipped in from the other side of the library.
“Oh you may think they’re unnecessary now but just you wait and see Twi, us Elements are prime targets!”
Twilight facehoofed.
‘At least she stopped using the flamethrower….’
The librarian decided to try and diffuse the situation with logical misdirection.
“So why come to me with this crazy request Dash? I have no more clue where Derpy went than you do.”
“I thought she came here because you can use the tracking spell you put on all of the libraries’ books to track down where she’s taken it.”
Twilight shot a menacing glance at Spike, who had completed his prior task before walking over to join them. Spike just smiled innocently and took Twilight’s current reading pile back to the bookshelf; the cocky lizard knew she would have no further need of them.
Unable to make excuses any longer, Twilight crumbled under Dash’s pleading gaze.
“Uggh, Fine! Let’s just make it quick.”
Dash chuckled as if Twilight was finally seeing sense.
“My philosophy exactly, Twi!”
As they left the cosy confines of the tree for an uncertain future trekking Celestia knows where, Twilight attempted one last stab at reason.
“If you want to read the end of the book that bad, why don’t you just go out and buy a copy?”
Rainbow Dash looked mortified.
“Buy one?! How much money do you think I make?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Daring-Do sneaked silently from her bed, donning shirt and hat as she crept to the door, Derpy twitched in her sleep and rolled over, signalling it was still safe to make her escape.
Daring certainly felt bad about abandoning her. Looking around, she hadn’t lost any belongings in the night, so Derpy wasn’t some petty crook. While this seemed to prove the other girl’s sincerity, the boat left in less than an hour and well…..
She couldn’t leave her life behind for some mare she’d barely met.
She looked again at the dangerous magical whatsits and knick knacks she had amassed, deciding she’d send somepony to take those into her vault later. She couldn’t come back here now. For her, this would be the last time she saw this apartment.
‘If somepony as scatterbrained as her could discover my location, then Celestia knows who else could find me here.’
Daring silently un-bolted the left door and stepped out into the corridor.
She was somewhat surprised to find there was a unicorn attaching a breach charge to the other door.
She looked at the intruder.
The intruder looked at her.
The door shut and the bolt slid home again.
Daring re-entered the main room and made her way over to the windows. As she did so, she pulled a ceremonial shield off the wall, plan forming in mind. The circular object glowed at her touch, engravings of runes and sigils turning a rich purple as its legendary power flowed again.
Over by the entrance to the bedroom, Derpy pulled her head out of the refrigerator, her mouth impossibly filled with various incompatible foodstuffs.
“Hey sis! I woke up when I rolled onto your sword thingy, it wasn’t fragile was it?”
Close inspection revealed that, yes the Scimitar of Tempests had somehow managed to get lodged in between her wing feathers without actually harming her, which is an amazing feat considering its electrical properties. Daring decided not to question this.
“Sorry Derpy, I’m afraid we have to catch a boat.”
When Daring had bought the apartment, she had made sure the windows were enchanted to withstand any traditional assault by magic or force. Lucky for her, the protective magic in the ancient Zebrican artefact was several magnitudes more potent than those in the glass. A single blow shattered the window into a million pieces.
Derpy frowned at Daring’s destructive decision and fearfully protested.
“B-but I only just started breakfast….”
This reluctance ended when the door exploded inward in a cloud of fire and splinters. A Squadron of threatening mercenary stallions began charging into the penthouse like an unwashed landslide, tasers in their mouths and murder in their hearts. Consequently, Derpy almost tripped over her hooves as she scrambled to grab her saddlebags and scamper over to where Daring was deflecting magic assaults from the few Unicorn troops with her aged souvenir.
Left with no choice, Derpy flung her self at Daring and clung on like a newborn foal, Daring took the momentum and they sailed through the opening and soon fell beyond the reach of the mercenaries.
The glass and steel behind them became a ferocious blur as they free-fell hundreds of feet, the painfully distant ground making Daring decide her next home would be a little closer to sea level. Derpy screamed out and attempted to open her wings, but Daring held them shut with her free hoof, pressing the two of them tighter together in a streamlined arrow.
As Derpy struggled against this hold, Daring spoke into her ear, just audible over the rushing wind.
“Not yet.”
True enough, they weren’t out of the Everfree yet. On the nearby rooftops, Unicorn snipers were laying in wait for such an eventuality. Explosions erupted around the pair, decimating the glass as spell after spell was flung in their direction. If they had tried to fly for it they wouldn’t have had a hope, but as Daring had planned, their uncontrolled decent was the key to survival. The aggravated snipers were unable to score a hit on the speeding Ponies, their momentum soon approaching terminal velocity.
Sensing failure, a 6-strong squad of Pegasi took off from those same rooftops and pulled up in pursuit behind the escapees, matching their speed but strangely keeping their distance.
‘Whoever wants me dead pulled out all the stops on this attack, which means that the next thing they’ll have in reserve…’
Near the base of the building the rest of Daring’s unfinished thought rounded the corner of the skyscraper like a shark smelling blood.
‘After all, what good was an illegal strike force without the heavy air support?’
The Mark IV P.I.N.K.I.E.copter* was the current pinnacle in Equestrian sky transport. Although not fitted with conventional weaponry, its magical defences were enough to repel most any sorcery known to Ponykind. The distance of the pursuing stallions suddenly made sense as they herded them towards its spinning blades. Derpy gasped as it became clear that the P.I.N.K.I.E’s lack of weaponry was the least of their concerns.
*A few months previously the blueprints for an incredible hoof-powered flying machine had somehow fallen out of the hooves of an unknown genius and into those of a Stalliongrad industrial corporation. After switching to a magical power source, the ‘Pegasi Imitating Neo Konflict Incremental Elevation copter’ soon became the go-to method of transport for wingless mercenaries and Royal guard alike, despite the glaring typo on the plans.
Derpy closed her eyes and clung on tighter as Daring gritted her teeth against the rushing wind. At the last possible second Daring twisted, bracing her shoulder against her shield and putting all her faith into the legendary object.
Sure enough, they tore straight through the P.I.N.K.I.E’s blades like butter, and even took off a big chunk of the tail, with a pitiable screech of metal, the death-machine careened into the side of the now thoroughly abused building. Daring whooped with joy at their narrow escape, but two of the Pegasi following them were not so lucky and crashed right into the now-useless contraption.
Daring chose now to finally fling open her wings, yelling out as the strain almost pulled them right out of their sockets. The ground rushed up to meet them, filling all their vision as Derpy’s weight began to feel more and more like a set of concrete horseshoes.
Only the most athletic and skilled of Pegasi could pull up at this speed and height and as far as Daring was aware, this had never been done whilst carrying passengers.*2 Despite her reputation, Daring-Do had never been a Pegasus known for being the fastest. Rather she had been known for being the toughest and dang it, not a single part of her body was going to just give in to gravity and be mashed on the pavement.
*2 It’s worth noting that Daring-Do had never seen a Sonic Rainboom either.
Swooping over the heads of disturbed Manehattenites, Daring risked a glance over her shoulder at their pursuers. It seems the remaining four had broke their formation just in time to swerve around the failing Copter and had now split up, coming from several directions as they locked back on target.
“Think fast, Derpy!”
“Wha-?“
Daring spun in the air, dislodging her passenger in an arching trajectory and freeing Daring’s hooves to deal with the remaining threats. Daring’s endurance attuned frame had worked against her here, as without the pull of gravity she had no hope of outpacing the angry colts and indeed, one was already moving in to grapple her. He had no opportunity to realise this was a very foolish thing to do before daring turned with the force of her spin to drive her elbow into the idiot’s neck, winding him right out of the air.*3
*3 If Daring had more time to follow his trajectory, she would have been quite satisfied to see him veer straight into a nearby newspaper stand. It’s probable this would have been followed by some sort of remark about ‘Breaking News at 11!’ but, as she was rather busy, the world was spared this horrible pun.
Daring grinned as another rush of adrenaline flowed though her, the reaper would have to try harder than that to keep her down! Typically, this was when the next, smarter assailant struck down from above, using his partner’s foolish charge as a distraction.
The Zebrican shield swung up and clanged the second colt right in the face, his own speed giving him a concussion, but otherwise his strategy worked as the equal opposite reaction drove Daring down to skid along the busy sidewalk. Concrete bit into her back, tearing off clumps of fur and skin as pedestrians were bowled over by her passage.
Wincing at the raw flesh, and thankful she’d thought to keep her wings out the way, Daring flipped onto her hooves and franticly searched for Derpy and the other two colts. She was surprised to find the other mare had no need of her help.
Several moments ago, when Daring had flung our mutual friend to the mercy of the fates, Derpy had done what any Pegasus naturally does when finding themselves helplessly tumbling in midair. She opened her wings.
What neither Derpy nor her two attackers had counted on was that having a scimitar thoroughly jammed into your wing feathers causes those feathers to be mussed out of shape something fierce. And when that dysfunctional down caught the air, it did so like a brick wall catches a watermelon. Suddenly, that one part of Derpy was yanked backwards and her velocity turned her into a vicious grey and yellow blur of flailing limbs.
The attackers never stood a chance.
Daring incredulously watched as they were violently clobbered, spiralling off into nearby buildings, and her head followed the path of the monstrosity as it crashed down violently on the concussed henchman, upgrading his ticket to 1st class beating.
Yellow eyes spun like Catharine wheels as Derpy stumblingly tried to stand in the now deserted street, Manehattenites having decided this conflict was too crazy even by their standards. Daring galloped over to Derpy’s side and practically pulled her away as a covered black carriage careened around from a neighbouring street, disgorging a backup squad of bulky Earth Ponies.
Quickly, they darted into a side alley while Daring struggled to come up with a new trick that would throw off these new threats long enough to escape. Again, Derpy accidentally took care of that, the incompatible contents of Daring’s fridge, combined with Derpy’s tumble dry adventure resulted in her providing a potent lubricant to the alley floor.
With their traction gone, the bulky stallions found their bulk quite detrimental as their tangled bodies got completely wedged betwixt the narrow walls, cutting off all hopes of re-enforcements.
As the two mares disappeared into the multitude of twists and turns of the great city, daring couldn’t help but laugh.
‘Best. Partner. Ever.’
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a sealed office somewhere in the business district of Canterlot, an expensive desk was slammed by infuriated hooves. The office became about as peaceful as Princess Luna’s last poetry recital*4 as the occupant gave full voice to his displeasure.
*4 And almost as populated too.
“WHY WAS I NOT TOLD SHE HAD A ROOM FULL OF FREAKING MAGICAL WEAPONS?!!”
A shrimpy and terrified underling cringed under the full glare of his foaming Boss.
“B-but sir! A complete list of all her tools and achievements is available in any good bookstore!... We assumed you knew Sir!...”
“NO I HAVN’T READ HER STORIES YOU BLITHERING IDIOT! WHAT KIND OF BUSINESS DO YOU THINK I RUN?!!”
The head honcho sat heavily back down in his extravagant office chair and pointed an accusing hoof at the underling.
“Months of planning and preparation come to nothing because she decides to bunk with some inbred retard? UNACCEPTABLE!”
The underling muttered a non-stop stream of apologies and promises as he scampered out the door of the office, his Boss’s booming voice following him down the corridor.
“YOU CAPTURE THOSE PLOT-SNIFFERS, AND WHEN YOU DO MAKE SURE DARING-DO NEVER GETS THE CHANCE TO WRITE ANOTHER PAGE OF HER INSIPID DRIVEL!!”