When Derpy learns of the great adventurer Daring-Do, she decides to seek her out.
But Daring-Do Isn't real, Is she?
Chapters (4)
Supersheep64
Joined 29th Oct, 2011 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, this looks intresting. This is tracked!
Oh, this should be good for some laughs.
So the adventure gets underway!
This is actually my first time publishing Fanfiction, normally I just draw stuff but recently that hasn't been working out.
So I figured, just try to write something to fill the gap, and here we are.
Feel free to point out any mistakes or anything I missed, if you would be so kind.
I think you could have worked the exposition of Daring's past into the action, rather than telling it outright.
And your use of footers *1
*1 where we get to know those intresting details
hinders the reading flow.
Well, I'm curious where this is going.
205935
So what would you recommend I do with footers to keep the flow going?
205942 Yes indeed. If the provided information is important to the plot, I would work it into the story.
206099
hmmmm, i kinda put them in the footers becuse the information wasn't relevant to the plot.
Maybe if I just re-locate them to the bottom of the document?
206272 That might work, but if it is really irrelevant to the story, I would just leave it out.
206272 I like the footers for comedic effet but they do kinda interrupt the reading flow. Having them at the bottom could probably work but I think you should also cut down on them a bit. Love the rest of the story so far however :D
This flew much better. And I like that you have like four story lines going on at once I already have fun speculating how they will mingle.
But I'm unsure about Trixie and Gilda as assassins. As much as I love reading about those two, I think it is pretty much out of character.
Oh well, will see where this is going. Keep up the good work!
BTW, I'm impressed how fast you write these. I didn't even finish two chapters in my fic in the time you did three. (or more, as my second chapter is with my proofreader at the moment.)
214058
Yeah I know what You mean about those two. My reasoning was that a lot of the rest of the plot was centred around Daring-Do, so I wanted antagonists more from the main continuity. For all Gilda talks about Trixie not having the stones to kill, I think she's bluffing about her own murderous cabability and this is just as much a last resort for her too.
As for the speed, I'm just happy I discovered I could write well enough to keep up with how fast I come up with ideas. Whenever I made comics, I always got bored with a concept before I could get anywhere, just because they would take so long to make.
Oh, dear. If D(itz/erp)y didn't have a roaring case of sibling revilery (pun intended)
beforehand, she'll surely contract it after this.
Cancelled?
1204304
At the minute, yeah.
I might re-write it later if I come up with better ideas.
1204447 Okay then. Thanks for making that clear.