Ok, so Octy gave me a good idea, her friends of all people would know what she likes. Only one problem with this brilliant plan; I don’t know any of her friends either. You let out another sigh (there seemed to be a common theme occurring with your day now) and stop. You had made a grand total of fifteen steps away from the bar before this thought crossed your mind.
You glanced around at your surroundings; Ponyville Town Square, your usual spot for when you weren’t tied to your typewriter. Being the middle of the afternoon, there weren’t a lot of ponies around, all of them either working or going to school. So it was pretty much just you and your thoughts standing there. Celestia help you, you looked like an idiot.
Well, I guess I could just go to the closest place to me and start from there. A logical choice and much better than standing in the town square all day. Looking around, this time actually noting where things were, you made for your first destination.
Carousel Boutique.
You trotted up to Ponyville’s center for fashion cautiously; you hardly knew Rarity, the owner and proprietor of said establishment, but you heard stories about how she could get when put under pressure, especially if the pressure was from some high-ranking Canterlot pony.
Slowly pressing an ear to the store’s door you listened for any sign of chaos; whether it be crashing, shouting or ripping of fabric. You hastily retracted your head from the door when all seemed quiet, fully aware that someone who didn’t know what you were doing would mistake you either for a creep or a burglar pony. Raising your hoof, you knock three times.
“Come on in darling, it’s a store, not a house!” you hear a voice from the other side say.
Oh, right.
Rarity didn’t sound stressed at least, so you decided it was safe to go inside.
Stepping inside the lavish boutique for the first time ever, you were surprised at how calm everything seemed. From stories you’ve heard around town, the shop sounded like it was in a constant flurry of design and creativity. But either the stories were only exaggerations, or today was an odd day for the shop. Regardless, the mare you came to talk to was trotting into the room you were in. Her eyes lit up at the sight of you.
“Oh, Arthur!” she exclaimed, a joyous smile on her face. You couldn’t be sure, but her eyes seemed to be glimmering with excitement as well. “What brings you here to my little shop?”
Little shop? This place is huge! You clear your throat before speaking. “Uh,” you mumble. Great start. “I’m actually here to talk about my date tomorrow. I-”
Your words were cut off by a delighted squeal coming from Rarity. “Oh I just knew you were going to come by. After all if one is to properly court a mare they must of course wear the proper attire.”
“Rarity?” you ask. The mare didn’t seem to hear you however, as she kept going on with what she was saying.
“Oh and you’ll look so handsome in what I have in mind. Oh and of course I’ll have to make something for Twilight as well to go along with it. Oh it will be simply marvelous-“
“Rarity?!” you ask louder this time, trying to get her to listen to you.
“-and then your date will go so well and you two will fall in love! Oh and then there’s the wedding of course and I’m already ahead on the designs for that and-“
“RARITY!” you finally yell, forgoing all politeness so you could be heard. She stopped talking and gave you a look of sheer annoyance.
“Well, you don’t have to shout,” she replied flatly. You groan and rub your head with your hoof.
“Sorry Rarity, I didn’t mean to yell,” you apologize. “I appreciate what you want to do for me, but that’s not why I’m here.” She looked at you quizzically, and you could only guess that she was thinking something along the lines of ‘If you aren’t here for clothes, why are you in a dress-making shop?’ “I need…advice,” you finish telling her.
“Advice?” she asks, tilting her head to the side slightly. “Advice for what exactly?”
“Advice for…” you swallow a lump that had appeared in your throat, “…dating.”
You felt incredibly embarrassed for some weird reason, like maybe you were asking something you shouldn’t have been. This was quickly dismissed when Rarity gave you a reassuring smile.
“Oh darling, you don’t give yourself enough credit,” she responds. Confusion must have been clearly written on your face, as she went on to explain what she meant. “The way you asked Twilight for this date was perfect for her. You really impressed her actually, to know her well enough to ask her with something she loves.”
You look down at the floor, feeling a little pride in the compliment, but at the same time you knew it was just dumb luck that it happened.
“But if its advice you want, I’d be more than happy to help out,” she finishes. You look back up at her and nod enthusiastically. Maybe now I can actually get somewhere.
“Thank you Rarity,” you say as you trot over to a nearby table.
“Think nothing of it darling,” she replies dismissively, waving a hoof. “Now do you have any idea on what you want the date to be like?”
You shake your head no.
“Well, let’s start with something simple then. Do you want it to be fancy or something a little simpler?”
“Definitely simple,” you reply quickly. “I got enough “fancy” back when I lived in Canterlot. Never. Again,” you say, banging your hoof on the table for emphasis. You saw Rarity open her mouth to speak, but you stopped her by holding your hoof up. “I’ll tell you some other time, ok? Right now can we focus on this please? Last thing I want is for the date to go badly and get sent to the moon by Celestia.”
Rarity giggled at this notion. “Oh don’t you think you’re overreacting a little bit?” You sigh and then nod. “Ok, so nothing fancy. How about just a nice dinner at a café or the like? It’s still traditional and it’s informal as well.”
You shake your head; “No, I feel like that’s too over done. I want to at least try to be original for her.”
Rarity taped a hoof to her chin in contemplation. You sigh, a little relieved that she didn’t say a snarky comment to you. The irony of wanting to be original and then using another pony’s idea was not lost on you. Thank Celestia Octy, or worse Vinyl, isn’t here right now.
“How about a starlit picnic darling?” Your ears perked up at this idea. Well, there’s something I haven’t heard done a lot. You mulled the idea over in your head. You knew Twilight loved the night sky, or you could guess she had a fascination with it considering the size of the telescope she had on the library’s balcony. And the picnic part was far from formal, just how you liked it.
“Sounds like a good idea Rarity,” you confirm to the mare. “But how would I set it up?”
“Oh, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how easy it will be,” she said knowingly, a sly smile appearing at the corners of her mouth. You were about to ask what she meant when she cut you off with a wave of her hoof. “Now run along dear, you have to go about setting this date up after all.”
With a nod and a quick thank you, you make your way to the exit.
No sooner than you opened the door were you assaulted by what seemed to be a pink blur. You were knocked flat on your back by whatever it was, your vision blurring and your head spinning.
“Surprise!” it shouted as it bounced eagerly by your side. Pinkie Pie? Your vision started to clear up now. Indeed it was Pinkie Pie that had assaulted you.
You were even more surprised, as it wasn’t just Pinkie Pie outside the shop, but Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash as well. Rarity came trotting up behind you, looking down at you with the same smile she had when you left.
“I told you that you’d be pleasantly surprised,” she said almost in a sing song voice.
“Yeah, I am surprised actually,” you say as you right yourself. “But what are you girls doing here?”
Before anypony could answer, Pinkie Pie interjected.
“WELL the author got lazy because he didn’t know what he was going to do for this so instead of you coming to find us he decided to bring all of us to you and we’re all going to help you on your date!”
You blinked. Confused was too weak of a word to describe what you felt at her energetic and utterly nonsensical answer.
“Uh, Pinkie? I’m the author and I didn’t do anything of the sort,” you reply.
“Oh, not YOU,” she said as if it were obvious. “I mean the AUTHOR author.” She smiled widely at everypony, and everypony looked at her like she had grown an extra head. What does she think this is? Some sort of badly written story or something?
“Anyhoo,” Applejack spoke up after a lengthy silence. “Like Pinkie said, we’re here to help ya sugarcube.”
You remained silent, partly because you were too shocked to say anything and partly to see if anypony else was going to speak up.
Silence.
Finally, you speak up. “Ok, how are you all going to help me exactly?”
“Well, long story short, we’re gonna give ya’ll what you need for this picnic thing you got planned. Ah got the food covered.”
“I got the desserts!” Pinkie chipped in.
“I’ve got your back on weather duty. Clear skies all around!” Rainbow Dash declared proudly.
“Oh, uh, I’m not sure what I can do,” Fluttershy meekly admitted. “But, uh, I’m sure I can think of something. Oh you’re not mad at me are you? Please don’t be mad at me!”
Again, you just stood there and blinked.
“Girls,” you say, “it’s not that I don’t appreciate what you’re doing. Please, don’t take it that way. But uh, do I actually have any control over this date anymore?”
Rarity scoffed at you. “Of course you do darling, we just gave you what you needed for the affair. Making Twilight happy rests fully in your hooves.”
“Yeah! So don’t mess it up or we’ll get Celestia to banish you to the moon!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
“Forever!” Pinkie Pie added.
Ok, not cool. Your knees were now shaking at the thought of spending eternity on the moon. So not cool girls. Applejack just put a hoof over your shoulder to calm you down.
“Relax sugarcube, Celestia won’t banish you for a bad date." She shot a glare in Rainbow Dash's direction. "Just, don’t go frettin’ none, ya’ll will do fine.”
“And just remember, you break Twilight’s heart, and I’ll break you.” All eyes turned to Rainbow Dash. “What? I will," she replied with a shrug. "Loyalty and all that junk.”
Rarity just rolled her eyes before addressing you. “Don’t worry darling, you’ll do fine. And don’t mind Rainbow Dash,” she shot a glare at the cyan mare, “she’s just looking out for her friend, we all are. Now go, we have everything covered. You look like you need to relax a bit.”
You shakily nodded before slowly walking away from the cluster of mares. Once you were far enough away, you could hear them whispering something about tomorrow night. Oh well, back to the bar I guess.
You pushed the doors to the bar open, finding it strangely deserted considering it was now six in the evening. Usually it at least had three or four patrons, but the only other ponies in there were the barcolt, and…
Octy?
Octavia sat at the bar still, even after you had been gone for a few hours. Beside her were two empty glasses, and she was now drinking her third glass of whiskey. She must not have heard you come in, or she just assumed it was one of the first patrons coming in for the night, because she didn’t turn around to investigate who just came in.
You trot up and take the stool next to her, causing her to jump in surprise. The barcolt looked at you and smirked as he started to grab you a glass of water. At least this time he didn’t laugh.
“Pages?” Octavia asked, her words slurring slightly. She wasn’t quite drunk, but she was most definitely tipsy to say the least. “What’re you doing back here; I thought you went on a pony hunt for your date’s friends.” She raised her glass for another sip, but decided against it.
“I found them,” you replied. “Or one of them at least. The others kind of found me.” You sighed as the barcolt set your drink in front of you.
“Aaaaaaand?” Octavia asked, leaning in close to you. She displayed remarkable balance even when inebriated. “What happened?”
“They kind of set up my entire night for me; food, weather, what we are going to do, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they picked out a spot to do it all in,” you admit. “Honestly, I feel like it was out of my hooves to begin with.”
Octavia smirked. “Well what about the actual date part? They aren’t going to feed you lines are they?”
You chuckled, finally starting to feel comfortable again.
“No, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Pinkie Pie were to be hiding in the bushes with cue cards or something.” The mental image of the pink pony doing just that made you laugh quite loudly.
“From what Vinyl tells me about her, that would be the tamest thing that she would do,” Octavia remarks. “It doesn’t surprise me that they were best friends a while back honestly.” You nod in agreement.
Silence. You stared down at your drink.
“You look nervous, Pages,” Octavia remarked. “Worried about what will happen still?”
You could only nod in response, which brought Octavia to put a comforting hoof across your shoulder.
“Don’t worry, you’ll do fine,” she said. “You may not know much about romance, but you sure did know how to have fun. I’m willing to bet you haven’t changed all that much.”
“But-“ you start, before being cut off by Octavia.
“No buts,” she said sternly. “Here’s my advice to you. The moment you stop being yourself, you’ve already ruined the night, if for nopony else but yourself. We have been told from all these cheesy romance novels and fairy tales about how mares want a big strong stallion to come sweep them off their hooves and carry them away to happily ever after.”
She twisted your head so you were looking at her in the eyes.
“Here’s the truth about romance Pages. There is no perfect anything. No perfect stallion, no perfect mare, and certainly no happily ever after. Romance is tough. It’s a give and take. The key to being happy is to be yourself and hope the other pony accepts you for it. The other pony should likewise do the same for you; otherwise it is doomed to fail from the start.”
You were about to say something in response before she put a hoof to your mouth.
“I’m not done yet.”
You rolled your eyes. She always manages to bring her soapbox with her no matter where she goes.
“Just. Be. Yourself. If it was you that got this date with Twilight, then you should be the one to show up, not some alter ego you concocted because you felt it was what she wanted. And don’t let anypony else tell you otherwise either.”
Her eyes softened and she removed her hoof from your mouth.
“And, if for some reason you two don’t end up a thing, don’t worry about it. If you tried your hardest, and you were yourself, then you have nothing to be sorry about. It just means you two were not meant for each other. Her friends won’t come after you, and Celestia certainly won’t banish you. All you can do is move on, and hopefully you can at least gain a friend out of the experience.”
You sat there for a minute, letting her words sink in.
“Oh, and Pages,” she says after the silence had stretched past a minute. “I wouldn’t be telling you all this if it wasn’t something I firmly believed in. Take it from me, the sooner you learn this, the happier you will be.”
“Thank you Octavia,” you murmur, still lost in your thoughts.
“It’s what friends are for,” she states as she pats you on the back. “I’m willing to bet Twilight’s friends are trying to pull her away from a ‘How to Guide’ about dating and say something similar.”
Both of you share a laugh at the statement.
“It’s getting late, can you make it to wherever you’re staying alright Octy?”
“I’ll be fine you worrycolt, it takes a lot more than this to stop me,” she responds confidently. “Besides, I’m actually pretty sobered up now.”
“Alright, then let’s get going,” you state as you tip the barcolt, even though you never actually touched your drink.
“Right behind you,” she replies as she slides off the bar stool and pays her tab.
Both of you walk out of the bar together before sharing a quick hug goodbye. As you trotted back to your house, you couldn’t help but shake one thought.
Heh, this whole fiasco really is starting to sound like some sort of badly written romance story.