Chapter 16: Save It For a Rainy Day
A soft rain drizzled across the land. Not a pony remained outside in Ponyville. Though there might have been work that could be done, it was just so much more relaxing to snuggle up and have fun inside on such days. At least that's how a dragon and a pony that inhabited the library always viewed it. In the downpour that the pegasi had arranged a beacon of warmth emanated amidst the falling water. The tree that all other ponies went to for knowledge shown brightly with life and vibrance pouring from its illuminated windows. Even the occasional harsh wind did nothing to damper the ...almost all the windows had light.
"There ain't no way you're gettin' me this time..." Spike murmured. Tightly his claws gripped the plastic device that controlled the character on the television screen. He could feel his palms beginning to sweat with anticipation. Gulping down any building tension he might have, the baby dragon egged the protagonist along the path he'd set, shotgun ready. If there was a jump scare he'd be set. It'd taken him quite a few hours, but he'd built up an impressive amount of ammo for the game that was normally rather stingy about such things. Spike's hands began to tremble as he continued down the rusty blood-splattered corridor. He just knew something was going to startle him. And something did.
With a scream he leapt about five feet in the air and zoomed back to the ground to hide shuddering beneath the blanket he'd taken from the basket he used to sleep in. The fright hadn't come from the television though. No. What startled him had been real. It'd been a touch...a poke rather... Realizing that the images on the screen couldn't come to life and do anything to him, Spike peeked out from underneath the covers and glanced upwards. Connected to the purple limb that had touched him was one of the only two other residents that inhabited the book-filled dwelling. Lifting a brow, Twilight looked back down at him and smirked.
"Playing scary video games again are we?" she mused. Glaring back, Spike shakily forced himself out from under the blanket and grabbed the controller. He wasn't afraid. It was just a game. "Watch out!" Twilight gasped overdramatically as her hooves pressed both of Spike's cheeks inwards, "Who knows how long before the Pinkie Zombie sucks your brain out of your toes! Or what about the Cockatrice Mutant?" Puffs of green fire leaked out of Spike's nostrils in annoyance as Twilight continued to giggle. "BOO!" Even though he knew it was coming, Spike had to brace himself for Twilight's latest attempt.
"It's gonna get you Spikey..." the unicorn said in a wavering voice as she bent over the smaller creature and ran her cheek along his, "One wrong step. It's coming. Almost there...any second now it's going to pop out and you are going to scre-"
"AH!" the lizard practically evaporated into thin air with how quickly he dove under his blanket. Twilight only chuckled and leaned against the soft lump now before her. It didn't take long for Spike to recover, but it never should have happened to begin with. It was a game. It wasn't real. Doing his best to keep a determined face he slunked back out into the world of the living and stared at the screen that Twilight was smirking at. On it was the creature that had slithered out of the nearby wall. A small techno-organic mouse creature that sniffed the protagonist a few times and scurried off. Spike's expression was one of questioning to the older inhabitant.
"What?" he scoffed, "I wasn't scared. It was just a mouse...thing..." Twilight let out a few chuckles through her closed teeth and rubbed her hoof into Spike's head much to his displeasure.
"Nothing to be ashamed of, the game's supposed to scare ya," she reminded, "why even I screamed when I saw that little guy."
"Really?" Spike asked in disbelief.
"So you were afraid," Twilight teased. Spike glared.
"Shut up..."
---
"I love you!" Spike tackled Twilight. Had he not done so she might have jumped clean out of her skin from the surprise attack. Once the unicorn had fully comprehended what had happened she joined the dragon in his laughter and pressed back against him effortlessly pinning him to the floor of the library instead. More on autopilot than anything, Twilight nuzzled her snout against him to counter his various presses and shoves. There was no way he'd be winning whatever it was that he was attempting. Come to think of it that was a rather good question actually. Once the little wrestling match had come to a stop Twilight lifted her head and stared down at Spike.
"What are we doing?" she asked him. Spike thought for a moment and gave a shrug.
"Having fun?" he guessed.
"Well I know that silly," Twilight rolled her eyes as she sat down in front of him, "But like...why? What purpose does it serve the story?" Spike rubbed his chin. For minutes the duo thought and thought, neither of them reaching any viable sort of conclusion.
"Well..." Spike eventually put a finger up earning an eager glance from the female only to put it back to his chin a moment later much to her disappointment. After a bit she gave her own start to a theory which didn't last either. All the thinking did was cause one giant headache for the dragon and unicorn. The introduction Spike had made really did nothing at all to advance the plot in any way shape or form...in fact...the way the chapter had been going did nothing at all for the overall story either.
"You know...maybe this is filler," Spike suggested. Twilight's brows bent anxiously at the unsatisfactory revelation. "I mean Dragon Ball Z had that stuff all the time."
"Yeah, but Dragon Ball Z could afford that crap after the audience they raked in from Dragon Ball," Twilight reminded, "This is a story, a FAN story. People are going to get bored out of their minds unless we come up with a real plot for the chapter."
"Okay, first off, what are you talking about? DBZ was the one that got popular first, not Dragon Ball," Spike put his hands on his hips. Twilight sighed.
"I'm talking about the original Japanese stuff," she muttered, "Dragon Ball was already pretty successful before Z was even thought up there. It didn't need an American audience. That just made it more popular is all. Most of Z was already done before many people in the states had even heard of it."
"Well thank Celestia they translated it," Spike attempted to hold some relevancy in the debate, "Would've killed me to have to read those subtitles." The dragon glowered at the short laugh Twilight emitted. "Oh, I'm sorry for not being able to keep up with your precious reading skills," Spike mocked.
"It's not that," Twilight explained through the chuckling, "It's just...how can you even begin to think that the English stuff is better? I mean the jokes are horrible and no one sounds right. And don't get me started on how they messed up the music." Spike's eyes nearly fell out of his head upon hearing the words.
"WHAT!?" he exclaimed leaping at the unicorn's neck, "That music was badass! Way better than that 80's crap they had! And how can you say that about the voices! I mean have you heard Goku in the Japanese stuff? He sounds like a kid!" Twilight's eyelids lowered to match her assistant's annoyed expression.
"That's how he's supposed to sound," she defended pressing her snout up against his, "He isn't supposed to be all raspy. Oh and don't get me started on Piccolo. He sounds like he swallowed fucking sandpaper!"
"Piccolo is a fucking badass!" Spike yelled.
"Yeah," Twilight agreed cooly, "In the Japanese version..." The two glared into each other's eyes for a spell to accompany the growls they gave. "As for the music there is no way in hell that that Bruce Faulconer crap is anywhere near the genius atmospheric material that the true version has." The growling only intensified between the two lifelong companions as the heckling between the divided fanbase of the anime continued.
"Alright fine..." Spike eventually came to a stalemate, "You're free to like your version of the show and I'm free to like my-" "Crappy" "-version of the show. This be My Little Pony remember. Love and tolerate and all that crap." Finally having a moment of silence the two continued their glares at each other before it slowly turned to bemused expressions that began laugh. For three minutes straight they hollered and hooted over the event they'd just partaken in. It was unbelievable.
"And that...that is how you waste over half a page with Dragon Ball Z!" Twilight gasped for air.
"A true tribute to the show if ever there was one!" Spike declared thrusting his fist in the air. Approvingly, Twilight hit her hoof against it and they continued the laughter. It took quite a while for the interior of the tree to quite down so that it finally gave Owlowicious a chance to hoot starting the noise again, though a bit reserved in its loudness this time. The dragon and unicorn were left gasping on the floor once it was all over. It certainly had been quite the argument. Even their's never got that ridiculous or dragged on for such a length normally. Only if Pinkie Pie were thrown into the mix did things drag out from her illogical thought processes. Spike and Twilight both looked to a nearby bookshelf.
"Guess she isn't popping out," the dragon assumed.
"Thank Celestia she doesn't take every opportunity the author presents," Twilight sighed.
"Actually, I'm pretty sure she's still a bit miffed at the author with that Pinkie Sense thing," Spike told her.
"Really? He stopped that ages ago."
"Some ponies don't just let things go. Remember how you told me about Applejack's Pinkie Promise?"
"Oh god don't remind me," Twilight put a hoof to her head at the thought of the demonic G-minored monster that was normally so cheerful and fun-loving.
"But anyway, as for this story having filler, what's wrong with that?" Spike questioned, "I mean I get so tired of each and every fan story having the same tired old formula of it being an actual, you know, story. Sure this has one, but by in large it's just various random adventures like in our everyday lives in the show that tie into an overall story behind the scenes at the very end. This kind of story can afford breaks like this one. At least that's what I think." Twilight closed her eyes and thought for a moment. For that moment the rain trickling down the tree seeped into her mentality calming her excited mind. Maybe Spike had a point.
"You know...you're right," Twilight said with a smile. Spike folded his arms over his chest proudly. Well he did until he saw what Twilight magicked down to them from her bed. Spike sighed as she flipped through her book. "This'll give the perfect opportunities to try out some new techniques from the boyfriend book! And just think, we can...Spike, what are you doing?"
"Oh nothing..." the younger being replied quietly, his grip on the book tigthening evermore, "Just...taking this!"
"HEY!" Twilight yelped as the book and Spike vanished into a room next door. She could still hear the dragon giggling in the chase that started soon after. "Spike get back here! That's mine!"
"Gotta catch me first!" she heard him holler back. Twilight's brows narrowed. It was war.
---
Twilight's eyes darted around wildly. She had to be more careful. One wrong step and it'd be the end. That'd be it. She'd lose and then it'd be game over. The unicorn could practically smell the tension in the air with each quiet step she took across the littered landscape, the overturned furniture providing the only cover for her. And him. Somewhere out there, in the vast endless maze of junk resided her opponent. The vicious lizard that would no doubt tear her limb from limb if he ever got the chance. She knew he already had her scent. That was one advantage he'd automatically have over her. But she had brains. Something that she knew she was in a more rewarding caliber of when compared to him.
As she came to the next corner, Twilight took a deep breath to steady her inner workings and slid her head towards the end of the couch. She continually hugged it so as not to provide room for error. When such a situation was in motion mistakes weren't allowed. It was her or him. And if he got the chance she was done. That wasn't part of her plan. Fortunately no matter where she looked Twilight could not see scale or spine of the purple menace. Upon second thought it might not actually be in her favor. What if he had blended into the environment to fool her? Camouflage. She could be looking right at him and not notice.
"No..." she muttered, "He's not that smart..."
"You sure about that?" a male voice asked.
"Course I am," Twilight responded not daring to take her view from the battlefield of scattered books she was scanning, "There's no way that his expertise in strategic thinking could...compare...to...mine..." Twilight gulped and slowly slid her head upwards. She was staring right into the eyes of her nemesis.
"What about at common sense?" Spike grinned. Sheepishly the unicorn waved. The pause needed from the comedic effect gave just enough time for her to run off into the open war torn land. There was no time to look back. Twilight knew that if she did she would see the dragon on her heels ready to strike! He needed to be that efficient to be her assistant! In her run she tossed any book or parchment she could in back of her in a desperate attempt to divert the no-doubt seeking lizard. She could hear his footfalls changing with each step, but never getting farther behind!
"Come on!" Twilight cried. But she was within the home stretch! If she could just make it to the well-constructed mound of blankets and books on the other side of the room she'd be safe! In one final bid for sanctuary, the unicorn took a sharp turn. She smiled upon hearing the crash. Spike hadn't been nearly as quick to react as he had early due to how long he'd been chasing her in the linear path. Twilight on the other hand wasn't finished. Eagerly she pounced onto the springy sofa next to her and leapt clean over the back of the piece of furniture. She landed right in front of her fort! Proudly she pranced towards it...until she saw a rather annoyed looking Spike covered in books and writing utensils next to it.
"COME HERE!" he yelled. Twilight hardly had time to let out a scream as the dragon flung himself at her and pinned her to the ground. The duo fought wildly across the ground until eventually they lay in a panting mound in front of the fort. Twilight had been that close to it. That close to safety. That close...to having more time to think of a better plan. "Looks like I win again," Spike boasted proudly. The unicorn just huffed and shoved him off of her.
"Spike this isn't fair. I've not been able to make it to the book at all yet!" Twilight whined. Spike grinned and patted her head playfully. It provided a rare moment for Twilight show her look of disapproval towards his teasing.
"Then you admit I can outsmart you," Spike summarized. Twilight's eyes went wide and her pupils shrank at the proclamation.
"I never said nor implied that..." she drolled.
"But you're thinking it," Spike's grin widened. He could see her eye beginning to twitch. "Face it, you ain't getting your little boyfriend book back unless you say that I am in fact better than you." He had to physically bite his lips shut to keep from bursting out in laughter from how much Twilight's face was scrunching up from the continued ridicule. "Either you make it to the book without me stopping you or say that I can best you. Your choice," a few giggles worked their way into the final sentence of the dragon's statement. He hadn't had such fun indoors since he was a newborn when he and Twilight would spend all their time playing when she wasn't hard at work studying.
The pony on the other hand was caught up in a rather internal conflict. She could hear her teeth grinding inside her closed mouth. It wasn't that Spike was better than her in certain things. That much was obvious without a point needing to be made. But to declare that he was better than her in strategic thinking? In planning? Such a concept was absurd! It was to be laughed at on any other circumstance. But Spike had something she wanted. Without it she couldn't continue to be a good girlfriend. Spike would no doubt forget about the bond that the story had forced on him and just go back to lusting over Rarity. She would have the book...but how?...
"Just order him to give it back..." Twilight's voice told her. The unicorn blinked and tilted her head.
"Give me the book back," she commanded. Spike lifted a brow.
"No." Twilight's stern expression dropped back to the defeated one she'd been wearing ever since she'd started the vain attempt to retrieve the item. It may have been just a game but she should've been winning!
"Don't just let him get away with it!" her voice persisted, "You're the boss here! He is your slav-er-servan-uh-assistant!" Now Twilight's head lifted a bit. She wasn't talking...but she could hear her voice. Curiously she glanced at her side to see a miniature version of herself with devil horns on her shoulder. "Come on! You're the student of Celestia! MAKE him give it back!" Before Twilight could even question what was going on her voice retorted from her other shoulder where an angel version of her was perched.
"Violence is not the answer," it told her calmly, "You want to love him. That's the whole point of having this relationship to begin with. Should you force it to be returned it would only cause a setback in your affection towards each other."
"Oh not this crap!" the devil one smacked her forehead, "Look here angel girl, this story'll be boring as hell if there isn't conflict!"
"Then perhaps stories shouldn't be made and peace should just come in the harmlessness that follows," the wiser avatar suggested. This only helped to further the devil's spite. Twilight could see its mane beginning to turn firey in the distaste it felt towards its opposite.
"Look! It's not that hard!" the devil told Twilight gripping her cheeks, "Watch!" A wicked grin gracing her lips, the devil turned to Spike. "Hey bitch! Get me my book!"
"Fuck off!" Spike's voice yelled back. But it didn't come from the dragon. Now both Twilight and him watched as her devil and his yelled at each other.
"Please, this is Twilight's turn for this," Spike's angel pleaded.
"Screw that crap, this be war!" the horned one cackled as he got a trident out from behind his back. All Spike's angel could do was sigh as the devil clashed weapons with Twilight's one. "No little unicorn whore is gonna tell us dragons what to do!" he hissed, smoke pillowing from between his teeth as he spoke. Likewise Twilight's devil was displaying rather vicious physical signs as well. Her eyes glowed a dark purple while her middle horn slowly started to lengthen into a rather lethal-looking spear to counteract the weapon that Spike's one carried.
"Oh contrare," she chuckled darkly, "a servant should not speak out against his master like that..."
"My master ain't no one's, slut!" the male devil yelled. The anxiousness reached a climax causing the two to leap back from each other due to the sparks that shot forth from the point they'd met at. The devils stared each other down for quite a spell before the next move was made. In the meantime Spike and Twilight shot each other an odd look to be sure they really were viewing what was happening.
"So...you doin' anything this evening?..." Spike's angel gulped nervously. His blush made Twilight's one smile.
"Didn't really have anything planned," she winked. Spike's angel now was almost completely red from the gesture. "Why ya asking?..."
"Just um...wonderin'..." he rubbed his arm bashfully. Just as Twilight's one was about to ask something else the reignited battle overtook her voice. Again the devils slashed and swiped at each other. Both Spike and Twilight just stared, mostly in disbelief, at the subconscious event that took place between them. It was...unbelievable to say the least.
"You're almost as good at pissin' me off as Pinkie Pie is at-"
"HI!" the earth pony's voice cried turning every characters' attention to the cheerful new devil that'd appeared. Spike and Twilight's devils only gave one annoyed look at each other before kicking the intruder in the stomach causing her to poof away.
"Dumb bitch," Spike's devil muttered, "I mean seriously, she doesn't pop up when the big guys talk about her, but when we mention even-"
"Don't call her back," Twilight's devil muttered. A second later they jumped back into the realization that their fight had been paused and lunged at each other's throats once more.
"I will murder you!" Spike's devil seethed.
"I'll rip out your lungs!" Twilight's yelled.
"I'll tear your brain out and carve out your eyes!"
"You got nothing on Jeepers Creepers dumbass! Why I'll-
"Yeah? Well I'm gonna-"
"Ha! Like hell you are-"
"And then she said-"
"But I didn't-"
Eventually the two ground to a stalemate with their weapons locked once more and pressed each other's snouts up against each other as the only form of intimidation they had left to muster. Their next action made the others give both mortified and confused looks. With as much viciousness as they'd fought the devils locked lips and began wrestling around in a heated romance in the air which they finally vanished into in a cloud of smoke. Twilight and Spike stared looking with their jaws hanging even after the angels had started up a conversation again.
"Well I think we're gonna get going too..." Twilight's angel kicked her foot against the air, "We um...have some things we'd like to talk about in private if you don't mind..." With a smile bigger than Spike had ever seen himself in the mirror with, his angel vanished with Twilight's leaving the two physical beings to stare at each other in silence. It seemed to go on forever until a bolt of lightning flashed across the room from outside.
"...may I please have the book back?..." Twilight asked politely. Spike's expression calmed at the question that brought them back to reality and pulled it out from underneath the sofa cushion that Twilight had bounced off of earlier in her attempt to escape him. Her jaw almost fell again.
"It was...there?..." she choked, "But what about the I was tracking-"
"Decoy," Spike shrugged. Twilight blinked a few times to help process just what all had happened. When all was said and done though they were still just standing there with the book.
"...so...how should we spend the rest of the night?..." the dragon asked, "I mean after we get this mess cleaned up of course..."
"I think that can wait," Twilight told him as she lowered her head to his eye level. Spike's mouth formed a small hole upon seeing the wink she gave him. "How's about we head back to bed? I've always felt that the rain provides some nice atmosphere when you're trying to rest..."
"We're gonna be resting?" Spike asked. Twilight's eyelids lowered and she smiled at him. Happily the dragon hopped up onto her back and the pony ascended the stairs to her bedroom.