Nonpareil

by Flim Skim the Spinner


Getting Friendly (Unfortunately Unfinished)

It felt lovely to have a special talent that one could take personal pride in, thought Rarity, carefully applying a cross-stitch to the garment which currently occupied her attention. No matter how dour their lives became, everypony could find comfort in the fact that there was at least one thing that they excelled at, a field in which they could call themselves an expert. Levitating a pair of scissors with her horn, she snipped the end of the thread, then took a step back to admire her handiwork.

Given that she found herself with few orders to fill lately, Rarity had decided to apply her talents to a matter which had been bothering her for months now: the state of the Gala dresses which she had designed for her friends. Currently, Twilight’s silky purple gown was about halfway through its reparation, following the disastrous turn of events that had transpired that night. Even if the event itself had been an utter disappointment, she still considered the clothes she had designed for it to be one of her most fabulous creations, and seeing them torn and dirtied had been almost as heartbreaking as discovering that her royal crush was actually a pompous headache.

She’d begun by patching up the most prominent holes and rips, if only to prevent her from weeping at the sight of it; even now, she was carefully avoiding casting her gaze over the far corner of the room, where the rest of her friend’s mangled gowns were teasing at her peripheral vision. Twilight’s dress still needed a great deal of work, but given that she was under no real time constraint, Rarity decided she had earned a break from her labors, which had already taken up most of her morning.

She had just retrieved a kettle to brew herself a cup of tea when she heard a knock at the door of the boutique. “Just a moment!” she called, wondering who could be visiting her, for as well as she could remember, she hadn’t set any appointments, nor was she expecting company until much later that day. Though she knew she shouldn’t, Rarity inwardly hoped that it wasn’t a customer, since she would prefer to wrap up her work on the Gala clothes before starting any new projects.

The moment she opened the door, Rarity’s welcoming smile disappeared. She almost couldn’t believe her eyes; even these two couldn’t possibly have the audacity to show their faces in Ponyville after the outrage they had stirred up at Sweet Apple Acres. Yet there they stood, looking slightly dirtier than she remembered them, wearing a set of false smiles that did nothing to alleviate her mistrust.

It was Flim who broke the awkward silence that had begun to grow. “Ahem… pardon me, miss, but my brother and I were wondering if we might trouble you for just a moment. We certainly hope you’ll hear us out, since…” He exchanged a quick glance with Flam, his forced grin faltering slightly, “… everypony else has slammed their doors in our faces.”

Rarity gave serious consideration to doing the same, but ultimately gave in to her curiosity as to what could have possibly brought the conniving twins back to Ponyville. “If you’re going to try to sell me something,” she said, making no attempt to hide the scorn in her voice, “I’ll tell you right now, I don’t want any.”

“We can assure you, that’s not why we’re here,” said Flam. “We simply wanted to inquire as to whether you have any rooms available for rent.”

At first, Rarity wasn’t sure whether they were being serious, or if this was some kind of trick. When their faces made it clear that they were actually looking for lodging, her confusion gave way to anger.

“Why in Equestria would I let you two swindlers anywhere near my shop? I’m not sure what kind of scheme you’re cooking up, but I believe my dear friend Applejack would be very interested to know about it!”

The brothers looked visibly stricken at the sound of the farm pony’s name, and Flim attempted to mutter a reply, before Rarity cut him off.

“You two have a lot of gall, showing your faces around here again! After that stunt you pulled during cider season, did you honestly think I would be friendly towards either of you? Such nerve!”

Flim’s heart was sinking; this was going downhill fast. From the moment the twins had arrived at the train station, it had become obvious that they wouldn’t be receiving anything close to a warm welcome. They were surrounded by angry glares before they had even entered the town, making their door-to-door pleas an extremely uncomfortable task. Any hope they had of laying low was gone almost before it had arrived, and everypony they appealed to responded with the same unbridled hostility. Until now, the twins hadn’t fully realized just how serious of an offense their previous actions had been. Enough to prompt complete alienation, apparently.

Seeing Rarity prepare to shut the door on them, Flim finally gave in to his despair, flinging himself upon her threshold and unabashedly letting loose an anguished cry.

“P-Please, my lady!” he stammered, practically weeping at her hooves, “We-we’ve got nowhere else in the world that will take us!” He reached towards her dramatically, while Flam’s face rapidly reddened at his brother’s display. “We promise we won’t be any trouble! We just need a roof over our heads, th-that’s all!”

His begging quickly degenerated into incomprehensible blathering, prompting Flam to step towards Rarity and give his attempt at convincing her. “You have to understand, ma’am,” he said over his brother’s sobbing, “We completely regret our actions the last time we visited Ponyville. Our behavior was inexcusable. The reason we’ve come back is that our cider business has run into the ground, and we’ve got no home to return to. We’d like to try our hand at being honest, hardworking ponies, and make reparations with the Apples, with all of Ponyville, if you would just let us. We promise you, there will be no funny business from either of us.”

Rarity was sure that Flam’s claims were at least slightly exaggerated, but still found herself softening towards the brothers. It wasn’t in her nature to refuse help to those who clearly needed it desperately, especially when those fellows sported such well-groomed manes.

“Well… I suppose you couldn’t possibly be that much trouble,” she sighed, giving Flam a little smile.

“Oh, you’re so kind!” blabbered Flim as his brother helped him to his feet. Wiping his eyes, he said, “I’m terribly sorry about that… It’s just that we’re quite desperate.”

There was no mistaking the sincerity in his eyes, which made Rarity wonder just how the twins had wound up in such dire straits. She was still cautious about offering her sympathy to the stallions who had attempted to run Applejack’s family out of town, and planned to keep her eyes peeled for any suspicious behavior.

“Well, come in, I suppose,” she said, stepping aside to allow them entrance into her combination house and workplace. “Oh, my,” said Flim, casting his eyes over the impressive collection of clothes, “What lovely pieces of work these are! Such refined elegance, quite a sight for these sore eyes!”

Rarity rounded on him immediately, thrusting her nose up to his. “Don’t take me for somepony that can be manipulated so easily,” she growled, narrowing her eyes, and Flim was reminded briefly reminded of Braeburn Apple’s piercing stare. “Flattery isn’t going to get you anywhere in this household. If you want to win me over, you’re going to have to prove that you’ve truly become better people.”

Flim attempted to speak, but couldn’t find sufficient words, simply nodding as a reply. When Rarity turned away from him, he exchanged a nervous glance with his brother, not sure what to expect from this mare. “We are prepared to do whatever you’d like to earn our keep,” said Flam, hoping his attempt at politeness wouldn’t be interpreted as schmoozing.

“I’m still considering what to do with you two,” said Rarity, as if referring to an old trinket that had lost any trace of its value. "For starters, why don't you go wash up in the bathroom upstairs? Both of you are covered in filth, and I don't want you mucking up my house."

She said this with no small degree of harshness, and upon examination, the twins saw that their coats were indeed streaked in multiple spots with dirt and a dark, oily substance, most likely the result of the tumble they took in the now-defunct Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. It had dried to the point that it would most likely take a significant amount of scrubbing to remove.

"It's the first door on the left," said Rarity nonchalantly, turning away from the twins dismissively. "Don't use up all my hot water."


After Flim and Flam finished showering (which they did separately, of course; say what you would about twins, but there were some lines that simply couldn't be crossed without creating a certain degree of awkwardness), they were surprised to find that their shirts, vests, hats, and bow ties, which they had left in the hall outside, had vanished in their absence. When they questioned Rarity, who had returned to working on the Gala dresses, about their missing clothes, she responded with, "Oh, I put those old things in the wash. If you're staying with me, you can't be wearing clothes that smell like they've been soaked in motor oil."

"But, if you want my advice," she continued, expertly weaving a sewing needle as she spoke, "You might want to go without those for a while. The last thing either of you want right now is to stand out."

There was obviously some wisdom in her words. Both the twins wanted nothing more than to lay low for now, and their signature outfits made them stick out like... well, like con artists, as had been evidenced by their immediate rejection upon returning to Ponyville. Even without their identifying clothes, however, they could still easily be singled out by their above-average height and unique hair coloration. As such, it seemed prudent to leave the boutique as little as possible over the next few days, which raised the question of how they would find new jobs while being kept indoors as if in exile.

"I don't suppose you know of any businesses that happen to be looking for employees at the moment?" asked Flam, his still-wet mane falling into his eyes a bit.

"Eager to get started," noted Rarity, "I suppose that's a good thing." She seemed to be warming up to the brothers already, perhaps due in part to the fresh, familiar scent of her strawberry shampoo that now wafted off of them. "But, I'm afraid I can't say that I know much about the other stores here in Ponyville. I keep my business to myself, and they do the same, for the most part. If you want to know who's hiring, you'll just have to ask around."

"Ask around?" said Flim, incredulously. "We stick our noses out that door and we'll be bombarded by the locals!"

His brother nodded in agreement. "Unfortunately, it seems we're a tad limited in scope for the moment."

"Well," sighed Rarity, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face, "I suppose I can find some way for you to make yourselves useful here in the meantime." She put a hoof to her chin in thought. "Hmm..." She glanced about the room for a moment, then levitated two brooms from the corner and presented them to Flim and Flam. "It's been days since I've given this place a good cleaning," sounding almost ashamed of herself, "So, you two can help by sweeping around the boutique."

They considered the brooms they'd been handed, supposing that they were in no position to refuse their help to the pony who had been generous enough to accept them into her home. Smiling in tandem, the twins each performed a slight bow and set to work immediately, to which Rarity responded with a roll of her eyes.


"What do you think?" whispered Flam, who rested his forelegs against his broom in a two-legged standing position, inclining his head towards the room where their host could be heard humming as she worked.

"Beats being out on the street," said Flim, using magic to move his own broom across the floor as he examined the various garments hanging from their racks. "Honestly, I didn't think we'd actually be able to find someone willing to give us a place to stay."

Flam habitually ran his comb through his mane, which had begun to dry, curling his front locks to either side of his horn as he always did. "How in Equestria are we going to find work here when everypony wants us gone?"

"It can't be the whole town that has a problem with us," said Flim, sounding doubtful of his own statement. He pulled a blue dress shirt from the rack, holding it against his body as he examined himself checked the mirror against the wall. "There's got to be at least one pony here who can appreciate the talents of two experienced salesponies. It's not like we're bad at what we do, after all. The two of us can make a sale in the blink of an eye, whether it be cider, sunhats, or celery stalks!"

Truthfully, the twins had never once attempted to sell anything other than their apple cider, but they assumed that their natural charisma could be applied to whatever they set their minds to. Provided, of course, that they were given the chance.

A knock at the door roused them from their musings; both Flim and Flam dropped what they were doing, bolting into the other room to avoid being seen by whoever was about to enter. Peeking their heads out around the corner, they silently prayed that whoever was on the other side of the door lacked any prior knowledge of them, and above all, that it wasn't any relation to the Apple family.

"Oh, for goodness' sake, don't be so dramatic," said Rarity, sauntering past their hiding spot to welcome her visitor. Easy for her to say, of course, since she'd never had to face overwhelming oppression from everypony at once, as the twins had.