Ghost stared down at the lavender unicorn, wondering just what was going through the pony's mind as he stood there, boxes of bagels stacked behind, albeit haphazardly. A large grin spread across her face as she began to stagger away. Ghost could not hear her mumbled speech, but he understood enough that the pony may have lost her mind.
“Well, chalk that one up in the record of insanity after meeting me.” Taking a quick swig from the Arizona Quantum Tea, he sighed as he turned back to his boxes of bagels. Sitting on top of them all was a grey pegasus pony, her blond mane dipping down into a box she was digging through. “Oh, no you don't!” Ghost clambered up the side of the stacks of bagels as fast as he could, trying to scare the pegasus off before it dropped any bagels onto the ground. “Those are my bagels! Leave them alone! Get off of my boxes!” The pegasus pony turned with a strange look, cocking her head sideways.
“These aren't muffins? Oh, poo. I thought that my dream had finally come through.” She flapped lazily as she drifted away, leaving the bagels still sitting out. As Ghost turned to shout at her to put the bagels back, she was already out of earshot.
“That's going to be a problem. I'm glad I always carry this on me.” Ghost retrieved a roll of duct tape from his pocket, moving quickly through the boxes and taping them all shut. Once the last one had been completed, he stared at them all, panting from the speed at which he had to move. “Now to find out where I might find some delectable spread of the gods.” He stopped a pony meandering through the boxes, clearing his throat to get her attention. “Excuse me, do you have any idea where I could get some Philadelphia Cream Cheese?” The pony stared up at him in confusion. Sighing, Ghost pulled out an empty container of cream cheese and held it in front of her.
“Fillydelphia Cream Cheese? Oh sure! That's in Fillydelphia, but that's 400 miles away!” Ghost pulled the container back, staring at the label.
“'Fillydelphia Cream Cheese.' Huh.” He put the container back in his pocket, kneeling down until he was at eye level with the pony. “Is there any way I could transport all of these boxes 400 miles, without having to carry them all?” The pony stepped out from under the shade of the boxes, a bubblegum-pink mane springing up as she smiled.
“My Party Cannon could shoot you all the way there!” Almost as if out of nowhere, an enormous cannon appeared out of nowhere. Ghost stared up at the mouth of the cannon.
“That does not look safe.” He stopped to stare down at himself. “Then again, the Quantum Tunneler was never safe either. I'll look for other options, and if I can't find any, I'll come back and take the option of... being shot out of a giant cannon.” As he finished his sentence, he gulped loudly. “Although that thought does scare me.” He walked away from the pink pony, intent on finding another way to transport that did not include hurling him at unnatural speeds from the barrel of a cannon that would rival the guns on an American battleship.
“No, absolutely not! You cannot use that cart!” A pony covered in rags stood between Ghost and a large cart, one that Ghost assumed would be able to carry all of the boxes, and still be able to move.
“You don't understand! I need that cart, and it's the right size for what I will be using it for!” The rag pony shook his head, sighing.
“That's not yours. You can't just take it.” Ghost picked up the pony and smiled directly in his face.
“And what will you do? Wave your hoof in my face? Last time I checked, 500 pounds of bagels are not possible for any creature to carry without any sort of lifting mechanism. And I don't have a crane... or a truck. This cart is the next best thing. Let me have it, please?” The pony shrugged.
“Well, since you said please, go ahead. If it falls apart, it's your funeral.” Ghost dropped the ragged pony, chuckling as it galloped away.
“Let's see how well this cart works.”
A large group of ponies gathered in the centre of town to witness the very rare sight of a human loading up a cart with boxes of bagels. Ghost tried to shut them out of his head as he loaded each box. Each stack grew higher and higher as he continued his task. A pegasus pony with a rainbow mane and tail landed beside him.
“What are you doing?”
“Loading up my boxes for transport. I am not going to be shot out of a cannon. Never. I refuse to be shot out of a cannon.” Ghost continued to mumble to himself as he finished his task. Nodding, he approached the front, staring down at the harness. “Not the strangest thing I've done, but I'll have to try.” He undid his belt, lashing it through the harness so that it was connected to his midriff. “All right!” He started to try to run forward as fast as possible, attempting to get up a mad dash so he could gather the cream cheese quicker. His belt snapped, ripping off the harness, and his pants. Ghost stared back at the harness, and his pants sitting there, flapping in the light breeze that had come up. “Oh great. Without pants, and still no cream cheese.” He yanked his torn pants off of the harness, attempting to lash it flat against his back with the belt once more.
“That's not going to work twice. Not a chance.” Ghost merely smiled and attempted another mad dash, the result being his back smashing against the ground, eliciting a groan as he stood up.
“Worth a try.” He stared across the centre of town at the pink pony he had met earlier. “You win. Bring out the cannon.”
Ghost was tied securely to the boxes that sat on the cart with him inside the pink pony's giant cannon.
“I'm going to reiterate that this is not safe whatsoever!”
“Sit down on the cart! It should be good to ride on!” Ghost barely heard what was shouted.
“What-” He barely got his sentence out of his mouth before the cannon went off, sending the cart flying, dragging him backwards. “Oh dear God!” The cart slammed through a marketplace, Ghost bouncing around behind like a doll tied to a rope behind a speeding car. He slammed face-first into a wooden wall, just to the left of where the cart had passed through. Hole after hole, wall after wall, the cart barely lost momentum as it took him through building after building until he was at the edge of the town, with barely any speed lost. “How does this even work?! I should have stopped at some point!” He continued to scream as the cart took him careening along the road that he assumed was towards Fillydelphia. A rainbow-coloured steak caught up with him. He grimaced as he faced the rainbow-maned pegasus.
“You're going so fast! I'm going to see if I can't beat you!” She began to fly in front of the cart, her wings flapping faster and faster as a white cone formed in front of her. Ghost started to sweat, knowing what was about to happen.
“No, no, no, no. No sonic booms! No sonic booms!” Sure enough, as soon as he stopped yelling, the rainbow pegasus broke the sound barrier, sending herself, and the cart, along with a screaming Ghost, speeding at supersonic speeds down the road. “I'm going to die! I'm going to die!” Ghost closed his eyes, only opening them when something tapped his shoulder, rapidly. He opened them to find that he was flying through the underbrush, having left the road quite suddenly. “No! Why do things like this happen to me!” A tree branch barely missed the tops of the stacks of boxes, Ghost sighing in relief when he saw that they were safe. The underbrush suddenly ended, Ghost feeling weightless. He turned back around to find that he had jumped a cliff. “Well, I lived a good life. Let whoever watches over this world take me when I die.” Ghost closed his eyes, mumbling to calm himself down.
When he reopened his eyes, he was still moving quite fast on the cart, albeit no longer supersonic. The rainbow pegasus was sitting beside him, smiling.
“I can't believe you actually kept pace with me! You're a cool... thing. What's your name?” Ghost stared down at the pegasus in utter shock. He had been sent on a wild ride by her, and she wanted to know his name.
“I'm Ghost. Although I can't believe it, what's yours?” The rainbow pegasus took a strangely cool pose, smiling with a roguish grin.
“I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest pegasus alive!”
“That's for certain. Your sonic boom sent me at supersonic speeds off a cliff.” She shrugged at Ghost's irritation.
“It's not supposed to do that, but that's cool. This cart's speed should take us closer to where you're going before it slows down.” A sudden voice behind them both almost made Ghost fall off the cart.
“When I can shoot you out of my cannon again!” Ghost, without turning around, grabbed the pony behind him and held her out in front of his face.
“Don't you ever dare to do that again.” She nodded quickly, letting Ghost set her back down on the cart. “Well, this is going to take a while. Either of you know any good jokes?”