The Doctor was having a very strange day. Firstly, he had been forced to do an emergency landing when the TARDIS had spun out of control for no apparent reason. Secondly, he had ended up on a planet full of talking ponies who named everything after their species, and now he was being led to a town of said ponies by a cyan, rainbow maned mare who was immune to the effects of his psychic paper. He was pondering this when the cyan mare suddenly asked.
"So, what's your name, anyway?"
"Ah," the Doctor said. He couldn't believe he had forgotten to ask the mare the same thing. "I'm the Doctor."
"Doctor Who?"
"Just the Doctor," the Doctor replied. Eager to shift the subject from his apparent lack of a name, he asked: "What's yours?"
"I'm Rainbow Dash."
Now that the Doctor had her name, he decided to ask about Ponyville. Or, more precisely, its name.
"So... this Ponyville..."
"What about it?"
"Its sort of strange that its named after ponies."
"Well, pretty much all of our towns are."
"What?"
"Pretty much all of our towns and cities have names related to ponies. There's Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Canterlot..."
The Doctor listened to Rainbow Dash list the settlements in Equestria. Not only did they all have horse related names, but they also had names which sounded very similar to human settlements on Earth. He wondered if the name of the planet might reflect this two.
"By the way, what's this planet called?" he asked.
"The name of the planet?" Rainbow Dash said, with a confused look on her face. "I don't think it has one."
"Really?"
"Well, I don't know anything about one."
That was strange.
"Twilight might know something about it though," Rainbow Dash suggested.
"Twilight?"
"Twilight Sparkle. She runs the library in Ponyville. I'm sure she'll know something about it."
"That's good. Maybe you could take me to her."
"Sure."
The Doctor had been so wrapped up in thought and in conversation that he had not noticed the buildings, which were now very close by.
"Here's Ponyville."
The Doctor was about to ask where the library was when a pink blur crashed into him, knocking him over and blurring his vision. When he recovered, he saw that the blur was in fact a pink mare with a pink, curly mane and a huge smile.
"Wow!" the mare exclaimed, bouncing up and down. Then, to Rainbow Dash, she asked: "What's this animal? I've never seen one before!"
"This is the Doctor," Rainbow Dash replied, "he says he's a space alien."
"A real alien!" the mare seemed to suddenly gain even more energy than before, bouncing up to the Doctor. "Wow, I gotta show you around!"
"Umm, well you see, I need to get to the library."
"There'll be plenty of time for that later!"
The Doctor had no choice than to allow this pink mare to show him around.
"I'm Pinkie Pie, by the way. "They went past rows of houses, with Pinkie Pie saying the names of the ponies living in each one, until they arrived in front of a building that had a roof which looked as if it were made of cake frosting.
"This is Sugarcube Corner. It's the best bakery in Equestria. It's where I work."
"That's very interesting, but I really ought to..."
The Doctor was unable to finish his sentence as Pinkie Pie whisked him into the bakery.
"So, what'll you order?"
"I'm really not hungry."
"Nonsense!"
He sighed. He could see that Pinkie Pie intended to give him the full service, however long it might take.
"I'll take whatever you recommend."
"Okie-dokie-lokie!"
The Doctor was presented with a cupcake. He ate it as quickly as he could, eager to get it over with as soon as possible.
"Okay, let's move on."
He was led to a tall, glamorous building.
"This is the Carousel Boutique." Pinkie announced. "Rarity lives here. She's the best dressmaker in Equestria!"
She took the Doctor inside before he had the chance to respond. There were dresses and suits of many kinds inside the shop, as well as a shocked looking white unicorn with a purple mane.
"What is that!?" the unicorn asked.
"Hi Rarity! This is the Doctor!"
"Yes but WHAT is he wearing? That suit is awful!"
"Oi!" the Doctor snapped. "I rather like it!"
"Well it really doesn't compliment you."
"I have an idea!" Pinkie Pie said. "How about you make him a new one!"
"I really don't think that's necessary."
"But I simply must! Please?" Rarity gave him a pleading look.
"Oh all right."
"Great! Don't worry, this won't take long."
* * *
Four and a half hours later, the Doctor was standing in Rarity's shop wearing the most ridiculous outfit imaginable. It was a tuxedo, decorated with jewels and feathers all over it. He felt embarrassed even knowing that it existed.
"So, what do you think?" Rarity asked.
"It's great, but I should probably put it away for now and save it for a special occasion." The Doctor replied. He hoped that Rarity would not catch on to the fact that he didn't like it. She might insist on making another.
"I suppose you're right."
"Come on, I'll show you the rest of Ponyville!" said Pinkie Pie.
* * *
7 hours later, the Doctor and Pinkie Pie arrived back at Sugarcube corner. The Doctor was exhausted. He had been to the house of a yellow mare called Fluttershy, who had spent half an hour asking the Doctor questions about what kind of animal he was; he had been to Sweet Apple Acres and spent 2 hours being shown around; and much, much more. He was glad that he didn't need to sleep, because if he did he would not be awake any more.
"Well, that's the tour!" Pinkie Pie announced. The Doctor had never been more relieved in his life.
"Right then." the Doctor said. "I'd better go."
"Oh no you don't! I still need to throw you a party! Wait, where did you go?"
The Doctor had never ran harder in his life.
* * *
*Knock knock" The door opened.
"Yes?" asked a lavender unicorn.
"Is this the library?"
"Yes it is, but we're closed now."
"Please? I really need some information."
"Well I suppose you can come in for a few minutes."
The Doctor walked into the hollowed-out tree. All of the walls were covered in bookshelves.
"What's your name?" The unicorn asked.
"I'm the Doctor."
"Doctor who?"
"Just the Doctor."
"But surely you have a name." The unicorn paused a moment to rub sleep from her eyes. She had not seen properly, and what she had assumed to be a stallion turned out to be something else.
"What in Celestia's name are you?!" The unicorn shrieked. Then, taking a moment to calm down, said: "I've never seen anything like you before."
"Well, I'm not exactly from here. I'm from another planet."
"WHAT?" exclaimed the unicorn. "Life on other planets? That's impossible!
"Well, I seem to prove you wrong there." said the Doctor.
"Well," the unicorn said, calming down for a second time, "space is pretty big. I suppose there could be extraterrestrial life."
"Yes. So what's your name anyway?"
"Twilight Sparkle. But that's not important! I need to inform the princess about this!"
"Wait, don't do that!" The Doctor didn't want to alert any authority figures of his presence. Seeing as these ponies were clearly unfamiliar with extraterrestrial life, he ran the risk of being locked up and studied. He could even be dissected.
"Why not?" Twilight asked.
"I don't want to be stuck on this planet any longer than I have to be. My ship crashed and won't be ready to fly again for a few days, but I don't want to have to stay here answering questions for a load of scientists."
"Okay, I suppose that makes sense. What did you come here for anyway."
"I wanted to find out the name of the planet. Once I know the name, I can check it with my records and find out where I am exactly."
"Well, that's a difficult question. We didn't really consider the possibility of life on other planets, so we never really named our own. I'll have a look."
"Thanks."
* * *
"10 minutes later, Twilight had found an answer. Both she and the Doctor had been searching the library when she found "Ancient History of Equestria". The book said that the ancient inhabitants of Equestria had used a name for the planet.
"It says that they called it Trenzalore." Twilight said.
The Doctor froze. He stood there, uncomprehending.
Trenzalore.
Oh please no.
Trenzalore.