Disclaimer – I own none of the cannon characters, settings, or locations contained herein. All ownership credit goes to Hasbro/Lauren Faust respectively.
Celestia’s Attack 1: Opening Shots
The sun hung high and bright in the mid-afternoon sky above Canterlot. The noon Day Court had been concluded, and in seemingly record time as well. Nopony knew why, but it seemed as though Princess Celestia had been eager to be done with the day’s work. To the seasoned observer, the princess had been fidgety and distracted beneath her calm and benevolent façade. No sooner had court been closed for the day than Celestia had made a dignified and graceful dash for the side exit of the throne chamber. While that behavior had been somewhat confusing, it had been much more curious when she was next seen wandering into the kitchen area and later leaving sporting a large pair of saddlebags.
Celestia herself was practically giddy with excitement over satisfying her current longing. It had started quite suddenly after her brother had left to return to his country and she could no longer ignore it. It was a craving, an itch she had not satisfied in well over a thousand years, and it was on her with a vengeance. Anypony in Canterlot could have been her first target, but no, she was aiming right for the top with her first shot. She was going to make her own sister, Princess Luna, her first victim.
To be caught in the act would likely result in a scandal of some sort, so stealth was the method. Not being able to perform shadow magic like her sister, combined with being two to three times the size of the average pony (Stature! She wasn’t fat!) meant that a princess had to be creative when wishing to remain unseen. To this end, Celestia had cast a reverse gravity spell on herself, as well as put on a set of enchanted horseshoes that muffled the sounds of her hoof falls. As an extra precaution, and because it seemed like the proper thing to do, she had also squeezed herself (Still not fat!) into a form fitting black latex cat-suit. Over her suit she had replaced her golden harness with a black bandolier, as well as a pair of large black saddlebags. Fully geared up and with a plan in mind, there was nothing left in the way of satisfying her urge.
Once she was ready she had teleported herself to the ceiling of a sitting room just down the hall from Luna’s chambers. Quickly scanning the room below her for anypony that may have seen her she grinned widely as she found the coast clear. Dropping to the floor on her silenced horseshoes she moved quickly to the door and cracked it open just enough to peek an eye out, Celestia scanned the gloom of the night hall for anypony near the door. Finding no guards, she slipped out of the door and closed it quietly behind her before adjusting her gravity altering spell to slink up the wall and back into the shadows of the ceiling.
Celestia froze as a young pegasus maid scurried underneath of her, the feather duster in her mouth running over the low hanging sconces. To her horror the mare spread her wings and rose to dust the chandelier that she hung near while humming a tune to herself. After a tense minute the maid hovered in place inspecting her work. Celestia prepared for the worst and reached into a pocket on her bandolier, removing a small purple orb. Catching the movement in her peripheral vision, the maid peered into the shadows that concealed Celestia. Just as she was about to move closer, Celestia lit her horn and quickly levitated the purple orb in front of the maid’s nose before bursting it. The small burst of crazy purple knockout gas quickly did its job as the mare went cross eyed before going limp and falling into Celestia’s telekinetic grasp. With a mental sigh, Celestia found the nearest unoccupied side room and laid the mare out on the floor, safely out of sight. Praying that she would not encounter anypony else, Celestia snuck back into the main hall.
Continuing to crawl slowly along the ceiling and sticking to the shadows, Celestia moved forward until she had reached the end of the hall and hung like a bat above a large set of double doors. The beautiful doors were solid black and had a large crescent moon in the middle, surrounded by depictions of the stars and the differing phases of the lunar cycle. What gave Celestia pause however was the pair of Shadow Sentinels that were posted on either side of the double doors.
Celestia was not as familiar with her sister’s honor guard as she was the typical solar guards that roamed the castle halls. For starters they almost looked like feral beasts with their tufted ears, gray coats, and leathery bat wings. Not to mention their golden draconic eyes and serrated shark teeth, she was sure that Nightmare Moon had a hoof in the design of the glamour their armor bestowed on them. She knew they were not selected from within the solar guard reserve and did not follow any of the training that their solar counterparts did either. Wicked thoughts filled her head as she leered down at the tough, wild looking stallions. With a shake of her head she cleared the errant thoughts and refocused on the task at hoof, getting past the Shadow Sentinels to her prize beyond the doors.
“Do you require assistance Princess Celestia? Mistress Luna is not yet due to be active at this hour.”
The guard to the left of the door had spoken to her without so much as looking up at her. After getting over her momentary shock of being caught, Celestia abandoned all pretense of stealth and dropped down to the floor. With a wide grin she pulled two more purple orbs from her bandolier and levitated them before the guards before bursting them and releasing the gas held inside right before their noses. Instead of knocking the guards out as expected, one just wrinkled his nose while the other simply sneezed. Both bared their fangs and growled at her in warning as they shrugged off the now formerly tried and true crazy purple knockout gas. Exasperated at their refusal to go down quietly, Celestia’s horn lit up as she hit both guards a sensory overload spell to knock them out, which they still both resisted far longer than most ponies should have before finally collapsing where they stood.
Sighing out loud in the now empty hallway, Celestia levitated the guards onto her back before retracing her steps to the side room she had stashed the maid from earlier in. Upon seeing the maid still knocked out and with two more ponies now in tow, a plan sprang to mind along with a devious smirk on her face. Unable to pass up the opportunity for more mischief, she positioned the three ponies in such a way that would make waking up a decidedly awkward affair, or possibly a dream come true depending on their outlook. With one last slightly unsettling grin in the passed out ponies direction, she closed the door and made her way to Luna’s chambers yet again. Once there, and making sure the rest of her preparations were completed, she proceeded to knock on her sister’s door.
“Luuuna deeeear, please come out heeeeere! I have something important to share with yooooou!” She sang out, her voice practically dripping saccharin.
After a moment of silence she heard hooves hitting the stone floor followed by the slow clip-clop as they made towards the doorway. Backing up and tensioning her entire body in preparation for the moment that had finally arrived, Celestia held her breath as she was nearly twitching in anticipation. She lowered herself to the ground like a manticore ready to pounce on its prey as the hoof steps on the other side of the door stopped. A muffled yet indignant sounding voice issued forth from behind the door as it opened.
“We swear upon our mother’s name sister, this had best be-”
Rrrrrrrriiiiiipp!
POOOF!
The hallway was quite suddenly clouded in white once Luna’s door opened up. As the dust settled, the now snow white moon princess stood in her doorway covered from horn to hoof in flour. She opened her scrunched up eyes and blinked owlishly several times as she struggled to process what just happened. Looking up, she saw a large, now empty, bag of flour secured above her door. The ripcord on the bag had been tied to a rope that was in turn attached to the edge of her door, the opening of which had unleashed floury doom upon her. Turning her eyes to her strangely dressed sister she saw a grin plastered on her muzzle that was so wide that it seemed like it should have been painful. It was only when Luna’s eyes narrowed in irritation that Celestia broke her silence.
“YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! Score one Celestia, Luna zero!” Celestia exalted as she pranced in place before rearing up and posing dramatically.
“… Twas thy idea of a jest?”
“Ahhh, yes, I needed that SO much.”
“…Twas not amusing.” Luna deadpanned.
“Yes it was. You are just tweaked because I got you so good.” Celestia replied with a smirk.
“Thou art starting upon an endeavor that thou hast no hope to win. Trickery and deception are my domain.”
“And I have had a thousand years to plot and scheme.”
“Very well then, consider thyself warned, a formal declaration of contest shall be issued forthwith!”
“Oh, it’s so cute when you get all feisty!” Celestia cooed.
“…Thou shalt live to regret thy words.” Luna muttered with narrowing eyes.
“I would say you are green with envy but you are looking rather pale at the moment” Celestia said with a cheeky sing-song tone.
“GET THEE HENCE FROM MY HALL!!” Luna bellowed in her Royal Canterlot Voice before lunging at her sister.
Celestia giggled madly and dodged the attack before galloping down the hall with Luna in hot pursuit. A trail of laughter, foalish name calling, and white hoof prints trailed them all the way to the main doors before Celestia deftly escaped from her enraged sister. Much to Celestia’s disappointment, Luna still had the presence of mind not to give chase into the rest of the castle and further the damage with public spectacle. Once she had rounded the next corner, the elder alicorn stopped to allow herself a breath. As she calmed down she noticed an unnatural silence in the usually busy hallway and looked about her to notice everypony in eyesight staring at her. Confused at first, she eventually looked at herself and was reminded she was still in her stealthy cat suit getup. With a sheepish grin she lit her horn and teleported away in an explosion of golden light before any questions could be asked.
Meanwhile, back in the unnaturally darkened hall of the night, Luna was trudging back towards her room while muttering darkly under her breath. About halfway back she stopped as she heard a small gasping sound from the side room to her left. Curiosity piqued; Luna opened the door and poked her head through to see one of the maids laying stock still and wide eyed between her two honor guards, wrapped in their fore legs. The maid saw her and silently mouthed ‘Help Me’ with her eyes darting between the two stallions to her sides. Luna merely gave a knowing grin and waved goodbye with a fore hoof before silently closing the door on the intensely flustered maid. At the very least, Luna was apparently not Celestia’s only victim this morning.
Back in the main room of her chambers, Luna stopped to look herself over. Fanning out her wings and lifting each leg sequentially, she saw that not one square inch of her had been spared from the flour. How had she fallen for something so simple? Was she really so out of it that she couldn’t sense mischievous intent around her? Cursing darkly and stepping towards her bath area she was interrupted by the filly Nightmare Moon stepping out from her little side room and fixing her with a questioning gaze.
“Should I ask?”
“Neigh, Nightmare. Thou need only know that mine sister is as mischievous as ever she was. Methinks I shall have to put her in her place in this regard.” Luna mused as she walked toward her bed.
“Oooh, oooh, let me in on it! I want to help!” Nightmare cried excitedly, jumping up onto Luna’s bed to be closer to eye level with her former host.
“I appreciate thy offer of support, but if thou should walk the field of battle my sister shall consider thou an enemy combatant. I cannot guarantee thou immunity from her.”
“I am my own mare now, I can take care of myself. Besides, think of it as tipping the situation in our favor. That; and toppling her arrogant fat flank will be simply delicious!” The dark filly sniggered in a slightly evil manner.
“Now Nightmare, part of the condition for thou to live here was to not cause trouble.” Luna said with a frown.
“Not to worry, she won’t come to harm by my hoof or horn. Physical harm that is. Whether a pony can die of embarrassment or not is something I would love to test on her.”
“Then I believe we have an accord my dear Nightmare. May our union teach dear Celestia a lesson in the true order of things.”
“Aye ma’am! I am standing by for your orders!” The filly Nightmare saluted smartly with a fore hoof and stood at attention.
Both alicorns put hoof to chin as they began to plot their opening moves. They had bested Celestia in combat before, so neither was worried about overall victory. With both of their power and cunning brought to bear, there was little that was truly a worthy obstacle, even with Nightmare’s diminished capacity. Although their minds used to be in a fairly tight synchronization, both had noticed that in the time following their separation that while their thoughts remained similar, they had begun to diverge slightly. Thus, while they agreed on the end results, the approach was somewhat different when they began to share with each other.
“I propose a shock and awe campaign. We shall hit her with such force that she shall not attempt such an affront again.” Luna said, her white nose in the air.
“Shock and awe is a good plan, I like it, but it is not a good fit for what we need here. I say we need a relentless pressure approach. Keep her off balance and on the defensive.” The diminutive Nightmare rubbed her fore hooves together with a smile that revealed her tiny fangs.
“Why not both ideas then? We shall stage a dramatic entrance and a public declaration of war when she least expects it. After which we shall keep her upon edge with repeated feints and misdirection. What say you to this method?”
“Sounds like a plan to me princess. What are your first orders?” Nightmare happily agreed.
“If thou shall find it agreeable, I wish to leverage thy ability to operate indefinitely without sleep. If we can have an operative upon the field at all times then our situational awareness shall increase dramatically!” Luna observed triumphantly.
“I can do that. Perhaps this body is best suited for spy work after all.”
“Indeed, dear Nightmare, it doth seem as so. But first we will need to see how much shadow magic thou art capable of. A good spy must be one with the shadows, as is only befitting of those such as us.”
“Good idea, but an even better idea would be for you to take a shower before we do anything. I am not sure I can take you seriously being covered in flour right now.”
With a nod to Nightmare and a scowl once again set upon her face, Luna turned toward her royal bathroom. Such an affront would not go unpunished, and deep down in her heart she still wanted some form of revenge against her sister for the thousand years she spent imprisoned. Violence was not the answer, that much she already knew, but revenge of the same caliber was in order.
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Near the edge of the fearsome Everfree forest, the lone unicorn mare leaned against a tree, gasping for breath after her panicked flight from town. Everything seemed like one long nightmare to the distraught pony. She had gone from a happy and reasonably successful life to a homeless pariah in the span of a single day. She would be the first to admit that her show earlier that day had not gone quite as planned, but was that any reason for what had happened? To witness to her home and all of her worldly possessions being smashed to pieces before her eyes and then defamed and made a fool of shortly thereafter was simply too much to handle. Once her heart had slowed to a manageable rate she looked forlornly into the night sky, attempting to take comfort in the softly twinkling stars and the steadfast moon, but tonight they had no such effect. She panicked as she heard the voices of ponies headed in her direction, in her current state it only seemed reasonable that they were not done abusing her yet and probably wanted to hurt her for what had happened to the town. In her despair, she blindly ran into the forest and was soon lost within the darkness.