Twilight went to the Schoolhouse. Surely she couldn’t get herself in any trouble trying to pass the time giving an address to the school children. She smiled as she thought about how she was going to spend the day. Perhaps she could talk about being a princess. She was sure that the fillies would love that. She smiled wide as she knocked on the door.
“Yes, Princess Twilight, you may enter,” Cheerilee said with her ever-cheerful attitude.
“So, have you decided what you want me to talk about?” Twilight said, inspecting the walls of the classroom for what they could possibly currently be working on. The board had some equations on it that looked like they had been there for a while without being erased. The easel had a few drawings on it about cutie marks, but that was covered a while ago, Twilight knew that much herself. The thing that caught her attention fastest though, was the alphabet across the top of the room. It was plain and simply missing something… particularly the letter ‘b.’ That was to say that it was ‘A… C…’ Twilight immediately turned to Cheerilee and pointed it out. “You realize you’re missing a letter from your alphabet up there, right?”
“We are?”
“Yeah, the letter ‘b.’”
“Which letter, your highness?”
“B!”
“I’ve never heard of such a letter.”
“Then spell Applebloom.” Twilight was sure she was going to catch on to the little prank. That’s what it had to be. Who in their right mind went into the profession of teaching without knowing the second letter of the alphabet?”
“A-p-p-l-e-l-o-o-m.”
“That’s Appleloom, not Applebloom. There’s a letter missing.”
“Whatever are you talking about, Twilight?” Cheerilee gave an honest air of not knowing what Twilight was talking about.
“Okay, recite the ABC’s for me then.”
“You mean the ACD’s?”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No, not really.” Twilight’s forehoof found her forehead, and she was sure that it left a clear indentation to complete the ‘Elements of Harmony hoof print set’ on her forehead. Perhaps this meant her pain could be turned into a profit.
“Cheerilee, seriously, what’s the second letter of the alphabet?”
“C. Everypony knows that.”
“That’s the third letter. What’s the second?”
“C. Like I just said. I think I’m qualified to tell you what the second letter of the alphabet is.”
“Okay, I’ll ask somepony else. Applebloom.”
“Yes, Twilight?”
“The proper form of address is Princess Twilight, Applebloom,” Cheerilee gently corrected.
“It doesn’t matter. Spell your name.”
“A-p-p-l-e-l-o-o-m.”
“You’re kinda missing a letter there, don’t you think?”
“No… Ah don’t think so.” She thought for a minute. “Nine letters, that’s how long it’s always been.”
“Then spell Sweetie Belle’s name.”
“S-w-e-e-t-i-e E-l-l-e.”
“So she’s Sweetie Elle?”
“No, she’s Sweetie Belle. Where have you been, Twilight?” Scootaloo injected.
“Then tell me, Scootaloo, how does Rainbow Dash spell her name?”
“That’s easy, it’s just a lightning bolt!” All of the foals in the class laughed as Twilight dropped her face to the ground. “I meant spell it, not symbolize it.”
“Well, then, I suppose it’s R-a-i-n-o-w D-a-s-h.”
“That’s Rainow Dash, Scootaloo.”
“No, Twilight, that’s Rainbow Dash. Geez.”
Twilight resigned and walked out of the classroom for a minute to gather her thoughts. This was getting her nowhere. How could the educational system completely forget a letter in its entirety. And how could everypony think to spell words with the ‘b’ sound without them? This was complete and utter ridiculousness.
She figured she should write Princess Celestia. She pulled out quill and paper, wrote the letter, and teleported it to Spike.
Case 1:
The schoolhouse here is missing an entire letter from their alphabet, and they don’t miss it at all! How is this even possible? How could our education system be so incomplete? What’s even worse, is that none of them even realize something’s missing, not even Ms. Cheerilee! And she’s the teacher!
I suppose I shall get about educating them.
Your Most Faithful Student,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
When the letter arrived at Canterlot Castle, it landed roughly between Celestia, Luna, and Discord. Each of them bore a smile as they saw the official seal from Twilight herself.
“This is going to be good, I just know it,” Celestia said.
“Which ‘Case’ did we send her on this time?”
“Case 1,” Celestia responded.
“This is hilarious stuff, Tia.”
“I never knew you had such a sense of humor, Celestia,” Discord said, and all three let out a hearty laugh.
Dearest Twilight Sparkle,
We do hope that you can teach them the errors of their ways. They need to learn the proper and true alphabet. I look forward to hearing about your progress.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia