Good morning, friends. Or perhaps it is evening, midafternoon, or midnight, depending on both your time zone and your sleep habits. If you are reading this, then both my title and intro have done their job: getting you to read the story.
What follows is a tale that you have no doubt read numerous times in the past; that is, the ascension to alicornhood of one of the characters from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Main characters, minor characters, and villains have all found themselves in the odd position of becoming immortal royalty in one way or another. Certainly, becoming an undying lord of the land has both its benefits and its downfalls.
The concept is widely used in fiction because it is a most interesting subject. The sudden empowerment of a formerly-normal person has been a theme ever since the first author took pen to papyrus. If you will bear with me, I should like to share my take on the alicorn ascension.
Our story begins in the fair city of Canterlot, some unspecified number of years ago…
Blueblood, Prince of Equestria, worked feverishly at his workbench. Wood flew in his magic grasp, iron and steel bended to his will, and intricately carved crystals fastened themselves to his creation. A final scrape with his wood carver and it was complete, his latest and greatest creation.
Blueblood was not a fool, nor was he what one would call “lazy.” He was rather the hard worker, when he applied himself. Unfortunately for posterity, he only applied himself when there was an immediate and positive effect on his goodself.
Before the prince stood a wood-and-metal pony with emeralds for eyes and a ruby for a heart. He circled it, searching for any flaws or imperfections in his masterpiece. Finding none, as usual, he sighed contentedly and sat before the artificial pony.
“Well, well, well, aren’t you looking lovely this evening?” he asked the newly-crafted statue. “I know just the thing to make you feel a little more lively.”
His horn glowed blue, and the pony glowed to match. A few moments passed as the spell warmed up, gaining power until Blueblood was certain that it would work. A flash, a spark, and the whir of machinery signified the spell’s completion. The Equestrian prince sat back and waited.
The woodwork pony twitched, vibrated, and sputtered to life. It took a bow and addressed Blueblood, “I am at your service, master.”
“Yes!” The prince's blond mane swished around as he did a jig of celebration. “At last, I have made a fully-automated servant!”
It can be assumed that robots are not as likely to spit in the prince’s food, but only just so.
Making a quick note in his book, he regarded the newly-crafted pony. “So, my magical golem, can you follow orders? Bring me my slippers!”
The pony trotted off and returned with the indicated footwear in its mouth. Blueblood smiled as the creation placed the slippers on his hooves. “I don’t believe that anypony has ever applied the come-to-life spell in such a complete way before.” He relaxed as the automaton began to massage his shoulders. “Why, with my improvements, it’s almost like… like…”
His eyes widened in realization. “Like I created my own magic.” He chuckled and ordered his golem to grab something sweet for him to drink; it was time to commemorate the occasion. It truly wasn’t every day that somepony crafted an entire new branch of magical study, and it was always cause for pomp and circumstance.
The reader can probably see where this is going by now.
He mused about how he would make his announcement, and how he could possible milk his achievement for all it was worth. Certainly, the courtiers would laud him for his magical genius. Perhaps he would be awarded medals! Perhaps he would be knighted! Perhaps…
Perhaps the mechanical pony was spinning and sputtering like mad. Perhaps steam was leaking from its ears, and fire from its mouth. Perhaps its emerald eyes were glowing brightly, taking aim at Blueblood’s pristine white body.
Blueblood screamed as twin green lasers spat out from the artificial pony, striking him square in the chest. His very molecules were invigorated and split apart with an intense heat. A moment later, a trail of smoke and a dark stain were all that remained of the late, great Prince Blueblood.
If one wishes to believe that this is the end of Blueblood, they may stop reading here. I do implore you, however, to continue on. You have not even gotten to the meat of the story!
Blueblood awoke with a start, floating in a vast expanse of nothingness. He would have said that he was in outer space, for lack of a better descriptor, but the void lacked even a single star. He took a hesitant step into the limbo-like world, finding purchase for his immaculate hoof. A few steps forwards brought no sensation of progress. The empty space had no landmarks, no sense of up or down, absolutely nothing.
The prince sat, unnerved by an intense sense of loneliness. He looked around at the empty plane, finding only endlessness. Not another noun in sight.
A flash of light caught his attention, far off in what his mind interpreted as a great distance. He caught sight of several rectangular shapes flying towards him at speeds very rarely achieved by even the fastest pegasi. He ducked as they flew past, only just registering the fact that they were slowing on approach. After a moment, the Prince of Equestria stood up to look at the floating shapes.
The closest rectangle held a moving image. Blueblood saw himself as a small colt, learning his first spell. The second held a record of his potty training, eliciting a red glow about his cheeks. And so the memories continued, some were quite recent, some very far in the past. His coronation after he came of age, his graduation from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and peculiarly enough, his date at the previous year’s Grand Galloping Gala.
In particular was highlighted his rather timely defense against a falling cake. Many an hour was spent removing the few crumbs that slipped past his date’s body. She was an angry, vehement little thing, but she made for a good shield.
A brilliant flash of light shone in the void, warmer than the last. Blueblood shielded his eyes, and he heard a voice before he saw anything. “Twilight, my most faithful student, I’m so proud of you.”
Blueblood lowered his hoof to see a glorious white alicorn standing before him. Her rainbow-gradient mane flowed in an ethereal breeze, and her eyes sparkled with wisdom and love. She raised a hoof elegantly, beckoning the pony before her forwards.
“Begging your pardon, Aunt Celestia, but what in the hoof is going on!?”
The alicorn princess blinked, then gawked, then blinked while gawking. Her crowned head tilted ever-so-slightly to the side, and her left eyebrow raised an iota. “You’re not Twilight.”
“Yes, I had noticed that I am not, in fact, your dour student.” Blueblood rubbed his face exasperatedly with a horseshoe. “Now please, tell me what is going on.”
“I’m… not sure,” she said with wide eyes. “I was expecting somepony else.”
Blueblood pursed his lips. “Alright, then. What were you going to do with this ‘somepony else?’”
Celestia sat, her face the picture of disappointment. “I thought that the magical spark I felt was Twilight Sparkle finally ascending to princess-hood. I didn’t expect that you would show up.”
“Obviously.” The prince stood and paced, his features strained. “So what you’re trying to say is that I’m not supposed to be here.”
Celestia lifted her chin. “Oh, no nephew. If you are here, it is for a reason!” She walked over to his side, placing a wing on his back. “For today is the culmination of your entire life, the very moment that you have been prepared for.” She gulped nervously at what she was about to say. “Today is the day that you become the first-ever male alicorn.”
“Wha-hat!?” Blueblood leaped back, his mane standing on end. He gaped at his aunt with trepidation. “What did I do to cause that!?”
Tartarus only knows, of course, but I suspect that the concept of karma does not hold law over Equestria.
“Ponies only enter this realm after discovering a new branch of magic, either by crafting a new spell or becoming exceptionally proficient in their field.” Celestia looked forwards with haunted eyes. “Glory be, I never thought you’d do it.”
“Pardon, Aunt Celestia?” Blueblood decided to be offended by that last remark. “I do believe that I deserve more respect than that.”
“Oh, do you?” Celestia hid her annoyance behind a mask of serenity. “Well, in any case, this is a cause for celebration.”
Celestia stepped back, her eyes closed and horn held high. Blueblood felt a warm sensation in his breast expand outward like a forest fire. A magical glow extended past his body, and he felt his muscles stretching, new bones growing. It did not feel unpleasant; it was much more like having a lost limb regrown than anything horrific.
The glow faded, leaving him a new creature. He flexed his new addition, a fantastic pair of white wings protruding just beneath his shoulder blades. “I… I can fly!”
“And he gets it in one, folks.” Celestia’s mumble was quiet enough not to reach her nephew’s ears.
“I can fly!” Blueblood flapped his wings and rose unsteadily into the air. “I can fly!”
“Very well, Blueblood!” Celestia spread her wings regally, a headache forming below her horn. “We shall return to the city of Canterlot, where you will be presented to the world!”
The streets of Canterlot had never been quiet, especially so after Luna’s return. Many businesses were open twenty-four hours a day, and several were completely nocturnal. As it was, Blueblood’s very-early-morning appearance in the city square was witnessed by a multitude of ponies, both royalty and common folk.
The shape of a giant compass star appeared in the sky, drawing ponies like a beacon. It descended slowly to the ground and landed in the middle of a huge crowd. It sparkled, flashed, and disappeared. In its place was a white alicorn stallion with brilliant blond hair.
“Kneel before me, Equestria! For I am your new prince!”
A collective groan rose from the crowd, and one donut-shop owner called out, “Aren’t you already a prince!?”
This remark gave Blueblood pause. He placed a hoof on his chin in contemplation. Had the Crowned Prince of Equestria simply gone from glory to glory, or had he ascended to a new status of regality? Surely, did becoming an alicorn not afforded the powerful pony greater honor and privilege than before? But what more could the prince ask for? He had adoring crowds, all the money he could ever spend, infinite access to the greatest food Canterlot had to offer…
He would certainly think of something else he could have. Eventually.
“You there, donut maker, I wish to partake of your entire stock!”
Donut Joe, for that was the baker’s name, was taken aback by the sudden business. “You wanna try the entire stock? You want a little of everything or what?”
“I want all of it, the entire kit and caboodle. Lock, stock, and barrel.” Blueblood was hovering overhead, now able to look down on even the tallest of ponies. His smug grin would have brought even the gentlest soul to violence. “I am preparing for the grandest coronation ball in the history of Equestria, and I wish to start the preparations as soon as possible!”
“Ah, okay I get’cha.” Donut Joe chose to ignore his client’s oddities in order to make the sale as painless as possible. “An’ when do ya need it delivered to the castle?”
“My little, little pony,” Blueblood replied. “I shall be crowned prince this afternoon!”
“Oh, great! But…” The donut maker tried and failed to piece together the events that had led up to the current moment. “Like I said before, aren’t you already a prince?”
“My dear baker,” came the alicorn’s snide answer, “I am an alicorn, the pinnacle of ponykind.
“Surely I deserve to be crowned not just once, but twice?”