Thump...
Thump...
Thump...
"Jeez Taylor do you have to do it in a dramatic fashion?"
"Tal. I have been waiting for this moment for a couple years now. I've been wanted to do this for a long time, let me do my thing."
Taylor seemed oddly serious, right until his shit-eating grin came out. Fluttershy opened the door and the grin fell into a more friendly salutations grin like mine was this entire time.
"Uh, hello...Fluttershy? That is your name right?"
She nodded. I thought this was pretty damn cute too. Not diabetes inducing, nope, that will come later I presume.
"Well, we wanted to say sorry for scaring you back there, it wasn't kind of us to do, was it, Tal?"
Sharp pain erupted from my side as he elbowed me in secret.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that, I guess I was a little too wordy with my hello there."
I fired up my internal pysch tools. Ever play Deus Ex: Human Revolution? Kinda like that. Believe it or not, it actually works. Not on people who prepare themselves, but could easily work on any pony here. I mean, I guess it could on ponies. I'm not a robot dude or anything, but MLP:FIM made it surprisingly obvious to guess what type they are. Obviously, lil' Flutters over here is an Omega. I feel it is very rude to try to convince people by playing with their emotions though, and it probably wouldn't work on ponies who expect it. But, I gave it a test run this one time.
Taylor cleared his throat and motioned me to begin talking. He's pretty serious now, I guess. I'm still confused when that shit-eating grin happened.
"Well, Fluttershy, you seem like a respectable person. We couldn't really trust those squirrels back in the mountains over there. I'm pretty sure most of them are nice, but none of them up... THERE... could ever be a nice enough person to me."
"Well...um...thank you...I actually take...care...of some animals...including squirrels..."
"Oh. Hopefully they are nicer than those...things, up there.
"Hee...you sound like Rarity..."
I could feel her warming up to me, it was easy to sense.
"Oh really? Wow!"
Taylor gave me the most horrifying look I have ever seen in my life. It was a face of regret, anger, frustration, guilt, sadness, and pain, all in one neat package.
"Uh...do you...know her?"
"Well, no, but where I come from rarity is a word we use to describe things that are hard to find. Rarity sounds like a fancy person. Is she?"
"Well, yes. She once made me go up on stage in front of all these people just so she could show off some dress."
"Seems to me you didn't like that, did you?"
"No."
Taylor looked like he wanted in on this action. I don't think he'll forgive me any time soon for tripping up, but we're in freaking Equestria! Nothing could backfire now. Knocking on wood!
Taylor cleared his throat again and started to talk. "Well, Fluttershy, it is pretty chilly outside. Mind if we step in for a bit, and have some hot cocoa? Do you even have that here?"
"Oh yes! I mean, yes for the warmth, and some hot cocoa. Sorry for being so mean to you."
There was a look of trust on her face, but one that was shifty as well. She was putting on an act, but I'll catch her later for it.
"What were your names?"
"Oh yes. My name is Taylor, and this dimw--I mean friend of mine is Tal. Heh. T and T."
"Well, please step in for a bit. Where are you from?"
I couldn't put my finger on why she was so quick to trust us. This is a error only made by the worst fanfiction writers. Well, this is real life, but it really did seem like something was wrong here...
~~~
TAL OS IS STARTING
PLEASE WAIT...
TALOS IS NOW OPERATIONAL
ACTIVATING SEARCH SEQUENCE...
MASTER NOT FOUND
SURVEYING AREA
AREA NOT RECOGNIZED
ACTIVATE CODE PONY
LOADING NEW MAP
ACTIVATE STEALTH AND SURVIVAL TOOLS
ACTIVATING HEARTBEAT SENSOR...
ACTIVATING SOLAR PANELS...
ACTIVATING EMERGENCY SELF-DEFENSE MECHANISMS...
STEALTH AND SURVIVAL TOOLS OPERATIONAL
CODE PONY GO
SEARCHING FOR FLUTTERSHY COTTAGE
COTTAGE FOUND
CALCULATING DISTANCE...
DISTANCE IS 3.56 KM
SURVEY LOCATION AND BIOME
SURVEYING...
SURVEY DONE
AREA IS FLATLANDS WITH NO ANIMALS
ACTIVATING REALISTIC DOG MODE...
BARK BARK
~~~
"So, what are you two? You obviously aren't ponies, or dragons, or bears or anything like that. If, you don't mind me asking."
All of her timidness was gone. I quickly looked at her hooves to see if there was timid body language in there, but what I found was more terrifying than what I could ever think of.
It was a phone, with the numbers 911 on the screen, and the call time is 05:35. Five minutes. She was giving us the slip the entire time. She didn't trust us, but she squeezed out as much information as possible. Son of a bitch. I mean, pony or daughter or whatever. Let's just say she was a real bastard this time. I didn't even know ponies had phones here.
"Taylor. Keep your voice down and ask to go to the bathroom." I don't think my voice could have been lower and more discreet.
"Why?"
"Look at her hooves."
His calm plucky young face turned to horror before turning back to happy.
"Hey, um, Fluttershy, may I use your bathroom?"
"Sure! It's right down the hall to the left."
"Thanks!"
I then said, "Taylor, grab her from behind when you go down the hall. I don't care if she is your waifu. Grab that phone and deal with her for a bit."
Taylor was pretty sad right now. I shot down his only chance at getting together with his waifu. I didn't care as much, I did care a lot, but Twilight is forever best pony.
Taylor went behind her and started walking down the hall. I bought him some time.
"So, Flutters. Can I call you that?" She nodded. She also put the phone behind her too. Last glimpse was 06:48. Crap. "I'm a special kind a species, you know, and I wou---"
BANG.
Taylor hit her right over the head with a table leg that the CMC left behind. He couldn't believe what he did. What appeared to be a tropical paradise soon turned out to be a nightmare. I quickly ran up to the phone and said, "Sorry, wrong number." and hung it up. Hopefully they would buy it. Taylor slumped down the wall behind him and started crying. I have never heard this crying from anything ever. Taylor is a screw around fun time kind of guy, and I have never seen him like this. His eyes quickly turned red from the massive amounts of crying. I haven't gotten a good look at him before this, and he looked very much like a cartoon. It was funny, but mostly depressing. I didn't know what to say here. Fluttershy turns out to be a backstabbing bastard who didn't know how to properly control a situation, bless her, and then the police are on our trail. I didn't really know much to cope with a crying person, because lack of social skills, so I just kind of stood there. I stared at Fluttershy, and her face stared at her lap, because she was unconscious. I didn't know what to do. I really didn't.
~~~
TALOS OS
MASTER FOUND IN CLOSE PROXIMITY
MASTER FRIEND FOUND IN CLOSE PROXIMITY
DISTANCE LEFT: 100 M
PREPARING CODE LASSIE
BARK BARK
~~~
I ripped out the table leg from his hand and said, "I didn't say to knock her out, but who knows what could have happened if she stayed awake. But, what could happen when she wakes up? I didn't have much time to do anything, but one idea came to me. I tipped the chair slowly backwards and scooted it back a bit. Please work. Please please work...
She started to groan, and she lifted herself upwards. She didn't have a clue her chair was tipped though, until she fell over again.
"Oh my, are you okay Fluttershy?" I then whispered, "Pick yourself up, Taylor! It's fine!" His face had a flicker of hope left.
"Ow. Yeah...I'm okay...Taylor, can you go get some first aid from the bathroom? You know where it is..."
She seemed more shy now. What brought back the timidness, though, was her hoof searching for the phone. She then freaked out a bit, and then turned to horror when she saw the phone in my hand. Wow, lots of horror faces here!
"Looking for this? Fluttershy, I thought you trusted us! You go and call 911 on us? I thought that was an America only thing! You know you can trust us. If you couldn't trust us, we would have already whacked you with a table leg or something!
"I'm...sorry! Please don't...don't...hurt me!" Her face was in tears right now. She probably thought I was a rapist or something like that.
"Look. I'm not going to hurt you. Just trust us when we say we're not from around here, but we're not going to eat your face or anything!"
Her shyness then turned to a bit of rage. "But...you were peeking on me through my window! While I was sleeping too! That is gross and really untrustworthy of you to do so! WHO ARE YOU, AND WHY DID YOU WHACK ME WITH A TABLE LEG?"
"First off, TAYLOR WHACKED YOU. SECOND. How did you know! Third. We were looking for shelter! PLEASE JUST TRUST US THIS ONE TIME. I HAVE FELL DOWN TREES FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES, NEARLY EATEN BY RAVENOUS SQUIRRELS, AND I WAS SEPARATED FROM HOME WITH NOTHING ELSE BUT MY LAPTOP AND DOG. OH WAIT A MINUTE, MY DOG IS MISSING! PROBABLY SPLATTERED ALL OVER THE GROUND, BECAUSE WE WERE SO FUCKING LUCKY TO HIT A TREE! THEN YOU CALL THE FUCKING COPS ON US. WHY SHOULD WE GIVE ANY CHANCE TO YOU OF GETTING ANY TRUST?"
She then started to try to use the Stare, but was slightly caught off guard with my rant. She then countered with another rant.
"HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL WHEN I GET SOME WEIRDOS PEEKING ON ME, AFTER I HAVE TO WATCH ALL THESE ANIMALS, AND...AND..."
I got her, but I felt like shit for doing this. I don't know why, but I pummeled her some more.
"OKAY, TAKING CARE OF ANIMALS, LEMME CALL PETA AND SAY HOW MANY FUCKS I GIVE NOW. RING RING. HELLO, IS THIS PETA? HOW MANY FUCKS DO YOU GIVE? A MILLION? WELL I DON'T GIVE ANY! THIS SEEMED LIKE A WONDERFUL PLACE, BUT IF EVERYONE WASN'T SO TRIGGER HAPPY WITH 911 CALLS I WOULDN'T BE SCREAMING AT SOME RANDOM CUTE LITTLE ADORABLE PONY LIKE YOU!
I had to catch my breath a bit, I wasn't sure why I was yelling, but I figured if it would put her in her spot and keep her from dialing the cops again, I would be a little more at rest.
"WELL, TAL, IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME, I WAS HAVING A NICE PEACEFUL TIME BEFORE SOME WEIRDOS GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK! I HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR OF GETTING KILLED UNTIL YOU WHACK ME WITH A TABLE LEG--"
"I DIDN'T DO THAT! TAYLOR DID IT!"
"I DON'T CARE! LOOK! I'M DIALING THE POLICE AGAIN!"
"Don't. You. Fucking. Dare."
"MAKE ME!"
"Found the first aid kit!" Said Taylor.
"SHUT UP!" Yelled Fluttershy and Tal.
"BARK BARK" Said a certain dog.
"TALOS! YOU'RE BACK!"
It was a big embrace for the both of us.
"ACTIVATING REUNITING SEQUENCE"
"I love you too Talos!"
"WHAT IS THAT?" Fluttershy sounded off, I really felt bad for yelling at her. She really isn't like herself, and she seemed a bit gray now.
"Look, Fluttershy, if we can put that fight behind us, I'll explain what this is, and what I am. Alright? Sorry for whacking you upside the head with a table leg, even if it was Taylor."
"MY BAD!"
"But I don't want this to be between us forever. It seems like I'm going to be stuck with you anyways, it's not like you have any friend I can stay at for a while. Friends?"
I stuck out my hand. Fluttershy seemed really reluctant to do so, but eventually she reached out and let me shake her hoof.
"...Friends." She seemed more at peace now that there was a bit of closure to the whole thing, but I'm not sure I'm out of the doghouse yet.
I heard hooves stamping the ground outside. In union, as if they were trained to do so.
"I think those are the cops you sent in. Please give us one more chance! Help us hide, so we don't get jailed or anything." Fluttershy didn't really seem like she had anything better to do for the day, so she motioned towards her upstairs.
"...hide under my bed until I get this sorted out. I'm sorry I yelled at you too."
I rushed to the bathroom, and grabbed Taylor. He threw the first-aid kit at the table, and it opened up and spilled the contents on the table. We skipped every other step as we went up, and dove under the bed.
"....hello officer....mumble....I'm sorry...flank dial...yes I'm okay...goodbye...." I let out a sigh, and tiptoed down the stairs.
"Alright, what are you two anyways?"
"I'll start." said Taylor.
"BARK" said Talos.
"And I guess Talos will help too." said me.