Twilight passed the night amidst groans of pain and little sleep. The sleep she did get was haunted by nightmares that some evil would come to Equestria with her in this state, and she couldn’t do anything about it because she was missing several of her Elements of Harmony. As Celestia’s Sun rose again, she was deprived of sleep, and very groggy.
Climbing out of bed, she trudged downstairs to the kitchen, where she made a cup of tea to hopefully help her wake up. The sun only aggravated her headache, and she began to wish that Celestia didn’t raise it so early in the morning. But then again… it wouldn’t really be morning without the sun, now would it?
She managed to collect her thoughts enough to check the book that Celestia had sent her. She had been running around so much that she never actually got a chance to inspect it. It was a thin book, perhaps comprising of everything anypony knew about these events that plagued new Princesses. She wondered if it had happened to Princess Luna. It was a real possibility. She could hardly imagine how Princess Celestia stood being with her sister when she was questioning sexuality and gender.
She chuckled to herself as she stepped toward the door, only to notice a spider on the ground. Actually, there were two spiders. There was a purple one that Twilight was eerily reminded of herself by, and there was a red one that seemed to remind her of Big Mac. She blinked a few times to try and figure out if she was actually looking at something real.
They were still there, and it seemed they had noticed her, because they both scurried off into the books on the lower shelves. “Spiiike!”
“What?” the Dragon said grumpily, nearly falling down the stairs.
“There’s an infestation of spiders. I need you to get rid of them while I’m out.” Twilight shivered. “I hate spiders.”
“Okay.”
Twilight levitated the book and headed out the door. She needed to see Nurse Redheart about this headache. There was no reason it should last this long. She tried reading the book, but the headache prevented her from focusing on the words more intently than a glance. She picked up that the writer had the same surprise over the events on her life. She stopped just short of bumping into Pinkie Pie. Something about her was different.
Her hair was straight, to start, and this immediately drew Twilight’s attention. There had only been one time she remembered Pinkie’s hair this straight when it was perfectly dry. And that was a day she was sure that Pinkie would just as soon forget. There was something different besides that.
When Twilight had encountered this “Pinkimena Diane Pie,” she noticed there was strange about her energy, and when Rainbow related the story of what she had found in the Party of One, she grew even more concerned.
As for now, Pinkie held a tray of cupcakes that had cyan-blue bits in them, and very red frosting. Beside her, Rainbow was standing, wrapped around the torso with a red-stained bandage. She seemed to be in significant pain.
“Cupcakes!” Pinkie called in a voice that made Twilight’s fur stand on end.
“Made from an old family recipe!” Rainbow said, half with forced smile, and half with a bit of the pain.
“Ah made them mahself!” Applebloom said, trotting up behind the other two ponies.
“Hey, Rainbow!” Twilight called, cantering over to her friend. “What’s going on? What happened to you?” Her back seemed a little flat under the bandages, all except to lumps about where her joints that connected her wings to her side would be. That was where the red stains were.
“Well…” she pulled Twilight off to the side, “I think Pinkie’s going homicidal.” Her voice drenched in pain and fear. “All I know is the last time Applebloom made cupcakes with Pinkie, everypony who ate them was sick for a week!” The Pegasus stood between the Princess and Pinkie, who was already set on course to her. “I’ll hold her off! You go run!”
She landed roughly by the barn where she heard Applejack’s voice. There was something about her voice that made Twilight’s fur stand even straighter on end. As she tried to enter the barn, she saw Applejack standing there with a chainsaw. Twilight didn’t stick around to find out what exactly was going on, because the look in Applejack’s eyes was going to haunt her as it was already.
There was no where left in Ponyville that seemed safe. She flew to the closest place that she deemed safe. Cloudsdale had been above Ponyville for the annual weather report. She landed softer on the clouds. then saw Fluttershy walking off in the distance, toward the Weather Factory. She chased after the Element of Kindness, knowing that she, of all ponies, would be the least likely to turn homicidal.
She tried to talk to her, but she already seemed in a conversation.
“Rainbow will be unable to make her shift. I’m here to replace her.” There was none of Fluttershy’s normal reserve when she said that. She seemed almost… excited to do this.
“I don’t know,” the Security Guard said, eying the yellow Pegasus.
“I already know about the ‘Device,’” she rebutted.
“Are you sure you’re qualified to run the factory?”
“Do you know who I am?” Fluttershy asked, almost seeming irritated. Twilight had seen this version of her before, when she took that class from Iron Will. She also knew what was going to happen next if the Guard gave the wrong answer.
“Not particularly.”
“I am Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness. I have saved your plot so many times. I even reformed the great Spirit of Chaos, Discord into a good guy. I bet I can be kind enough to turn you into a mare with one kick.”
The guard looked at Fluttershy sternly, then backed off with a very worried expression. Twilight rushed up toward the door. “Hail, Princess Twilight.” Fluttershy spun around.
“Oh, hello, Twilight. Would you like to see the ‘Pegasus Device’?”
“Sure… I guess.”
The guard let the Princess of Friendship in and she followed her Kind friend. They wound through the catwalks above the main factory floor before arriving at a door marked “Rainbow Factory.”
“Now, we would appreciate if you would wear this mask,” Fluttershy said, donning her own. “We wouldn’t want to… expose you to the ingredients of the Rainbows.”
“Okay?”
They walked through the door onto another catwalk that looked over a room. In that room were a bunch of fillies and colts, all staring up at the pair of them, with terror and fear in their eyes. There was one foal that caught Twilight’s attention: Scootaloo. How was she in Cloudsdale if she couldn’t get more than four feet off the ground? Perhaps the better question Twilight should have asked was why there was a giant mechanical device on the side of the room.
Fluttershy gave a maniacal laugh that she wished she had never heard. “These ponies will know what it means to invoke the wrath of Fluttershy!” She flipped a switch and conveyor belts on the device whirred to life, leading away from the timid foals beneath them. “They made fun of me. Told me I couldn’t fly! Now I’ll show them who the master of the Pegasi is!”
“Uh, Fluttershy?” Twilight said, in concern.
“Now, who will be the first to be fodder for the Rainbow Factory?” Fluttershy’s voice was also dripping with the insanity that Twilight had seen all day. What did she mean ‘fodder’?
“You,” Fluttershy addressed, pointing at one of the fillies next to Scootaloo, “step onto the conveyor belt and produce Rainbows for all Equestria!”
“Fluttershy, what’s going on?”
“This is the Rainbow Device. It uses fillies and colts to make Rainbows!”
Twilight was half curious, half scared to know how exactly this was done. She watched as the filly climbed on the conveyor belt, and was carried into the machine, where gears grinded, and there was the sound of something breaking, something like bone. Twilight screamed as she immediately flew out the door, dropped her mask, took off, and, in mid-flight, teleported herself to the Library, where she crashed into the bookcases. She didn’t care; she just had to get away from all the homicidal, crazier-than-could-ever-be-accepted-in-society ponies. She hid under her covers, cowering from the rest of the world.
Case 36
I am currently cowering in my room. It seems that three of my friends have turned into homicidal maniacs. Rainbow fell victim to one of them, and I can only imagine what happened to Rarity. I don’t think any of her lady-antics will save her from Pinkie or Applejack for long.
We seriously need your help here. Or perhaps a good psychology team. They still study that at school, don’t they? I just hope I’m not eaten by the babies of those spiders I saw earlier.
Your Most Faithful Student,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Hey guys,
Did any of you notice something strange with Twilight today? She seemed really jumpy! I mean, she didn’t even ask how I injured my back. I guess she didn’t because Pinkie was trying to pawn off Applebloom’s hideous cupcakes. Who puts ketchup on a cupcake?
I mean, I hid them under my bandages, but I couldn’t hide any more than two under there.
Rainbow Dash
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Just because Applebloom doesn’t know how to bake yet doesn’t mean her cupcakes were hideous. They’re just… misinterpreted.
And yes, I did notice that she seemed a bit strange. I was getting frustrated with my chainsaw when she walked in, and she just ran off before I could say anything.
Applejack
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Aren’t you going to stay for cupcakes?
Applebloom
Dear Rainbow Dash,
What’s wrong with ketchup on cupcakes‽ It’s just as good as hot sauce!
Pinkie Pie
P.S. I love Interrobangs! ‽‽‽
P.P.S. Did anypony like my new hairstyle? Somepony suggested that I looked better that way, but I don’t see how. I love my hair poofy!
P.P.P.S. Do you think that maybe sometime I could borrow Applejack’s Chainsaw?
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Does Twilight know how the Rainbow Device produces rainbows? I mean, she ran off like it destroyed them and extracted the juices to make rainbows. That’s just… I don’t know. That’s bad. All it does is take a bit of their creativity to make the rainbow.
Sincerely,
Fluttershy
Dear Elements of Harmony,
Today is a great example of what happens when ponies don’t understand all of a situation, and only take in what they expect to take in. I hope that you all learned something from this.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia