A loud crash shook the library one morning, pulling Twilight’s attention away from the book she had been reading. Judging from the direction of the sound, somepony was coming to visit and crashed into the door instead of opening it. Most likely it was either Rainbow Dash or...
“My bad!” A voice shouted, muffled by the still-shut door. Twilight rolled her eyes and, with a sigh, opened the door. A gray pegasus stood on the other side, one eye focused on Twilight’s face, while the other seemed to be intently studying the ceiling. While nothing was unusual about that, the smile that usually accompanied those eyes was conspicuously absent.
“Derpy? Is something wrong?”
Derpy nodded slightly. “Can you help me?”
“I’ll do my best, what’s wrong?”
“Do you promise?”
“Yes, I promise I’ll help if I can. Come inside and tell me what’s wrong.” Twilight stepped aside to let Derpy in and shut the door behind her.
“No one likes me,” Derpy said quietly.
Whatever problem Twilight had expected to be presented with, that wasn’t it. “What are you talking about? Everyone likes you.”
Derpy shook her head. “No, they don’t. They’re polite to me, but they don’t really like me. They just try to be nice until I go away. I can’t keep a job because I drop things or crash into things and it’s all because of this stupid stra- strab- stabri-” She gave up on the word and angrily gestured to her eyes.
“Strabismus?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah, that.” She stopped, satisfied that she’d explained sufficiently.
“I don’t understand, what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to fix my eyes so I can see right and I stop being so clumsy all the time!”
“Oh, um,” Twilight said, biting her lip. “I... I’m not a doctor, you should really-”
“They won’t help me!” Derpy shouted. “I already talked to them!”
Twilight took a step back from the angry outburst. “Whoa, calm down! Why wouldn’t they help you?”
Derpy closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady herself. She opened her eyes and focused one of them on Twilight while the other stubbornly looked away. “They told me that they could help if it was my muscles that weren’t working, but they said it was my brain that was the problem, so they couldn’t do anything. But you can use magic to fix it, right?”
“That’s not a good idea,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “The pony brain is a very complex organ. If I used magic to fix a problem in your brain, it could cause all kinds of other problems even worse than the original one.”
Derpy let out a bitter laugh. “It can’t be worse than being this clumsy.”
“Come on, Derpy, it’s not that bad,” Twilight said, trying to cheer her up...
“Not that bad?” Derpy yelled.
...and failing miserably.
“Do you know what ponies call somepony who’s being clumsy? They don’t call them clumsy. They call them derpy. I’m so clumsy that my name is used as another word for it! When somepony makes a mistake, they ‘derped!’” Derpy stomped one hoof and screamed, “So don’t try to tell me ‘it’s not that bad!’” She shut her eyes and shook with anger.
“I’m sorry, but I won’t do something that might make it worse,” Twilight said softly.
Derpy’s legs gave out and she collapsed to the floor, choking back a sob. “You promised.” She looked up at Twilight and sniffled. “You promised you’d help.”
“But I don’t know what will happen.”
“Please, just try. I can’t stand it anymore. I just want to be like everyone else.”
“I-” Twilight started to argue again, but the sight of Derpy starting to cry was too much. She sighed. “I’ll do my best.”
It was difficult for Twilight to get the necessary reference books to perform the spell with Derpy following her around the room constantly thanking her, and more than once knocking something over. However, in light of the conversation they’d just had, she couldn’t bring herself to tell Derpy to just sit down somewhere out of the way.
Eventually, and with only one bruise from a book being dropped on her, Twilight had all the information she needed to cast the spell.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Twilight asked. “I don’t know what other effects it will have on you.”
“I’m sure.”
“Okay, here goes. Hold still.” Twilight closed her eyes and focused her magic. Derpy closed her eyes and waited, holding as still as she could. A magical glow surrounded Twilight’s horn and Derpy’s entire head for a couple minutes, then faded away.
“Alright,” Twilight said, breathing heavily. She opened her eyes and wiped some sweat off her forehead. “I’ve done everything I can. Open your eyes.”
Derpy opened her eyes and looked at Twilight. With one eye. The other one was looking at the floor. Derpy squinted and blinked a few times, and slowly, ever so slowly, both eyes came to focus in the same direction. Her jaw dropped and she blinked a few more times. The largest smile Twilight had ever seen on a pony other than Pinkie Pie spread across Derpy’s face.
“Are you okay?” Twilight asked. “Do you feel any different? Other than your eyes, I mean.”
Derpy grabbed Twilight in a hug. “Oh, thank you, Twilight! This is wonderful! Thank you thank you thank you!”
Twilight struggled to get free of Derpy’s grasp. “Need... air....”
Derpy let her go. “Sorry,” she said, smiling sheepishly.
“Are you okay? I need to know if you’ve noticed any other changes.”
“I’m fine!” Derpy said sharply. “You don’t have to keep asking.”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that you hadn’t answered me yet,” Twilight said.
“You didn’t give me a chance to! But I’m fine. Everything’s great now! I have to go tell everyone!” Without giving Twilight a chance to say anything else, Derpy ran to the door and flew away.
The first pony Derpy wanted to tell was Rainbow Dash. Unfortunately, the skies were clear, so there was no sign of a cloud for her to be sleeping on. With no idea where to start looking, she went to Sugarcube Corner in the hopes that Pinkie Pie would know where she was. Mr. and Mrs. Cake braced themselves when they saw her approach. They relaxed, and were rather confused, when she landed just outside and walked in.
“Oh, hello dear,” Mrs. Cake said. “Are you here for a muffin?”
Derpy rolled her eyes. “No. Why does everypony think they know what I want?”
“Well, it’s just that we’ve got a sign in the window that we’ve got a new kind of muffins, so I thought you might like to try one.”
“I, uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see that. I’m here looking for Pinkie Pie.”
“I’m sorry, dear, she isn’t here. She has the day off today, and I think she’s spending it with her friend Rainbow Dash. She’ll probably be back soon for a snack if you wanted to wait for her.”
“No, but thank you.” She turned to walk away.
“There’s something different about you today,” Mr. Cake said.
Derpy turned back to face him. “Yeah, Twilight fixed my eyes, isn’t it great?”
“It sure is! Does this mean no more crashing into things?” he asked hopefully.
Derpy’s eyes narrowed slightly at his tone. “It should.” Declining the Cakes’ offer for her to buy something, Derpy took to the skies again.
Mr. and Mrs. Cake looked at each other.
“Wow,” Mr. Cake said. “I think that’s the least damaging visit we’ve ever gotten from that mare.”
Mrs. Cake nodded in agreement.
Derpy didn’t find Rainbow Dash until the next day, when Rainbow was moving some clouds into place over Ponyville. When Rainbow saw Derpy approaching, she groaned quietly to herself. She wasn’t quiet enough, and Derpy heard her.
Derpy pushed aside a sudden flash of anger. “Hey, Rainbow Dash! You don’t need to worry, Twilight fixed my eyes, I can see where I’m going now!” To prove her point, she gracefully flew over and landed on a cloud nearby.
“Hey, that’s great! I guess we won’t have to be rebuilding Town Hall the next time you help decorate, right?”
Derpy forced a smile and agreed.
“I mean, really,” Rainbow continued with a smile, showing her usual level of tact. “That was a mess! You managed to shock yourself with lightning and destroy the roof all in a few minutes! I was really worried what you were going to break next! But now we don’t have to worry about that anymore, that’s awesome!”
“Oh, like you’re that much better?” Derpy yelled. “You crash all the time! Why is it that I’m the one that gets picked on and laughed at, but you’re a big hero? Clumsy ponies should be called ‘Dashie’ rather than ‘Derpy’ with how much of a mess you make of things! At least I’ve never broken my own wing from crashing into the ground!”
Rainbow’s smile disappeared, and she landed on the cloud she had been pushing. “Well, you- I-”
“See you later,” Derpy said angrily. She flew away, leaving Rainbow still fumbling for an answer.
There was a knock at the library door. Twilight opened it to find one of the most excitable ponies she’d ever known.
“Lyra!” she exclaimed, inviting the unicorn inside. “I haven’t seen you recently, what brings you to the library? Are you here to check out another book on musical theory? Or maybe to bring back the last one you borrowed?”
“Oh, heh, sorry, I forgot. I’ll bring it by tomorrow. I just wanted to ask you about Derpy. Is it true you cast a spell that fixed her?”
Twilight grimaced and answered hesitantly. “I cast a spell that corrected her eyesight, yes.”
Lyra’s eyes lit up. “If you can fix existing body parts, can you make-”
“No,” Twilight said flatly.
“Aw, but-”
“There is no spell that can do what you want. It’s just not possible to cast a spell that turns an earth pony into a unicorn.”
Lyra frowned and drooped slightly. After a second, she perked up a little bit. “I bet Discord could do it,” she whispered to herself.
“What was that?” Twilight asked sharply.
“Nothing! I guess that’s- well, I do actually want to ask you something else.”
“Go ahead,” Twilight said, hoping she wouldn’t get another ridiculous question about magic.
“That spell that you cast on Derpy, did it do anything other than fix her eyes?”
Twilight sighed. “That’s hard to say, really. Like I told her before I cast it, the pony brain is very complicated. Changing one thing could change something else and we might not even notice at first. Why do you ask?”
Lyra shifted her weight uncomfortably. “Well, she’s kinda... mean now. She made fun of me for my hobby. Just laughed at me right in the street. She wasn’t like that before. Do you think... do you think you could undo the spell?”
“I should be able to, yes.”
Lyra grinned. “Great! I’ll get her back to the library tonight and you zap her with magic and everything will go back to normal!”
“Absolutely not. It was her decision to make the change, and unless she wants to go back, I won’t do anything of the sort. You’ll just have to learn to get along with her. I seem to recall that it wasn’t that long ago you were laughing at her for being clumsy.”
“Just the one time,” Lyra mumbled. “And I said I was sorry.”
“You know what they say, ‘turnabout is fair play.’ It may not be the nicest way to live, but it is fair.”
“I guess so,” Lyra said. She walked to the door. “I’ll bring that book back tomorrow.”
“Thank you. Just talk to her about it,” Twilight said. “Not every problem should be solved with magic.”
Lyra sighed. “I know.”
One morning a couple weeks after the spell, Twilight heard a knock at the door. She answered it to find Derpy standing outside. She looked sad.
“Is something wrong?” Twilight asked.
Derpy nodded slightly. “Can you help me?”
“You know I’ll do whatever I can,” Twilight said, letting the pegasus inside and closing the door behind her. “What’s wrong?”
“No one likes me,” Derpy said quietly.
“That’s what you said the last time you were here,” Twilight said.
“This time is different. I don’t like me either.”
“Why not?”
“I’m mean and angry now, and I don’t know why! I make fun of ponies like they used to make fun of me, and I don’t like it!”
“It’s the spell,” Twilight said. “Fixing your strabismus also changed your personality.”
“Can you undo it?”
Twilight thought for a second before answering. “Yes. But if I do, you’ll go back to the way you were before. Your eyes and your personality. You won’t be able to see as well anymore, and you’ll be clumsy again.”
“I’d rather be me than mean.”
“But then you won’t be like the other ponies anymore like you wanted.”
“I guess... I guess it’s a good thing to be different. Besides, just because a lot of ponies act a certain way doesn’t mean it’s a good way to act.”
Twilight smiled. “I agree. Are you ready?”
“Don’t you need to study how to undo the spell?”
Twilight shook her head. “I already did. I was hoping you’d be back when I heard about what was going on. Just because I spend most of my time in the library doesn’t mean I don’t know about things happening in town.”
Derpy glared at her. “Oh, so you just sat here and waited when you knew you could fix everything? Who do you think you are to toy with ponies’ lives?”
Twilight flinched, but kept an even tone as she replied. “I’m your friend, and I would never make that kind of choice for you. It’s been up to you to come back the whole time, like you did today. Do you want me to undo the changes?”
“I’m sorry. Please, I want to go back to the way I was before.”
“Alright, hold still.” They both closed their eyes while Twilight cast the reversal spell.
After the magic faded, Derpy opened her eyes. One eye focused on Twilight. The other drifted up to look at the ceiling. She smiled.