Dear Princess Celestia,
Scootaloo had found her way into the cabin where I had put Rainbow Dash. I had repaired the physical damage to Rainbow’s body, and she’s preserved now, so she just looks like she’s asleep. Scootaloo was asleep curled up next to her on the cot I placed her in. That’s what did it for me; I teleported back to my cabin and cried for an hour. I can feel pain again, and it does feel better than numbness.
After I recovered, I went back and took Scoots back to her friends. I wonder how that filly managed to get through a locked door… perhaps Pumpkin Cake did it for her. She woke up when I was carrying her back so we both went to the galley and cried and talked about Dashie for hours. She fell asleep at the table and I brought her back to the cabin she shares with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. Poor Sweetie still isn’t talking, but at least she eats and works with the others swabbing the decks, checking stores for rot, mucking out the cabins where we keep the catatonics…
I think I can sleep now. The crying helped. I’m going to try.
***
I slept for the first time in two weeks. It was only for a few hours; I had Owliscious on patrol for suicide attempts and just keeping an eye on things in general, and he woke me at sunup. I had a dream about Rainbow Dash busting clouds and laughing and I remember her looking at me and smiling just before I was awoken. I wish I could go back to that moment. Perhaps tonight I can speak to her, tell her how sorry I am.
***
No time for sleep now! My studies of the sea ponies’ language have progressed, and it is a good thing they did. Clubalubala has learned from the song of the whales that a great storm has built up in the south and it is headed right for us. Clubalubala’s tribe has been using their knowledge of sea magic to guide us quickly and safely to our destination, but there is nothing he can do about the weather. This storm is coming at us with killing force. We have two days. I don’t know what we can do, but I have to try something. If only we had a weather mistress!
I'm going through the library to see what weather magic has been cataloged that may be able to help us.
***
Weather magic cannot be the solution to our problem. Weather magic is the exclusive province of pegasi and is part of their nature. No unicorn magic, nor even alicorn magic, can force the winds to change direction or cause the rain to fall. It takes years for a pegasus who specializes in weather control to master her craft. I could age some of the pegasi, but that will not teach them the skills. But I did find one spell that may save us. It is an unfinished spell, that you wrote, my princess. The scroll is bound in a black ribbon. I think you would remember it. It is singular in my experience. I think I know the missing ingredient, the one you could not bring yourself to write down. I feel like I have gone quite mad.
***
We live, but my blasphemy I can only tell to you, its original author. One of the catatonics, I didn’t even know her name, her family, was my secret ingredient. She was close to the end, not eating, not moving, and having to have water forced down her throat through a tube. She was not long for this world. I will keep telling myself that until I believe it.
A pillow was all I needed. She didn’t struggle at all. I did. It took me ten minutes to push that pillow down on that tiny muzzle. Does that make me less of a monster because it was hard for me to murder a child? A door was opened by that frail soul and the binding between the Elements of Magic and Loyalty allowed me to reach through and take Rainbow Dash back to her body. When she woke she was fighting and yelling, but then she saw me and stopped herself in mid-kick. She demanded to know where she was and how she got here and how it was that I was still alive when she saw me killed with the other royals. Of course she didn’t know of the plan that you laid out before me last month.
I told her only that she needed to trust me, and deal with the hurricane. My Element of Loyalty, she did as I asked immediately, and if she noticed the small burlap sack slumped pathetically in the corner of the cabin, she didn’t say anything. We could see the cloud bands off the port bow when we got to the deck. Scootaloo saw us first and fainted immediately, her head hitting the deck with a smack. Normally I would have been concerned, but there was no time. I told the others on the deck that Princess Celestia’s plan was working and that our weather mistress was here to save us.
Rainbow Dash got that determined look in her eye and shot off south. I smiled grimly, for the first time in, well, for the first time I can remember, and I dared to hope as I saw that rainbow contrail rising against the backdrop of roiling dark rings. After a few minutes, Scootaloo revived, looked around, then spotted the rainbow trail and ran to the railing to join the others.
Rainbow Dash hit the cloud wall and pushed through it with a well-timed sonic rainboom. The shockwave washed over all the assembled colts and fillies, and cries of awe and wonder reverberated across the decks. They watched Dashie bust and corral that monster storm, shouting encouragement and cheering. I looked at Scootaloo and realized that she now bore a blazing heart cutie mark on her flank! I nudged her and looked down at her side with a smile when she turned to me. When she realized what had happened, the look in her eyes almost cleansed my soul.
There was a flash and we heard a gasp from the onlookers. A bolt of lightning had arced out from near the eyewall and struck Dashie down. We could see her falling, smoke training from her singed wings. Panic and horror welled up in my heart, but then I saw another flash out of the corner of my eye, from beside me, and felt a blast of heat when Scootaloo launched herself as stone from a slingshot off that deck and down on the water, a fiery trail behind her. I was as surprised as the rest of the crowd, and cheered her with the others.
Scootaloo caught Dashie just as she was about to hit the water. If she weighed half of what the older pegasus did, I would be surprised, but she carried her up and steam erupted as the flames impacted and obliterated a small raincloud. Rainbow Dash must have been revived by the water, and through the mist we saw the rainbow contrail blast off to the left as the fiery arc streaked right. They turned and met and twisted together and then began to drive against the rotation of the storm. Clouds were stripped away as the eye began to unravel. By the time the front struck us a half-hour later, it was just a line of weak squalls drenching our celebration. That didn’t matter to us, it was a victory!
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo returned to the ship amidst cheers and shouts of joy. Even Sweetie Belle was smiling, though she still would not speak. Apple Bloom ran to Scootaloo to punch her in the foreleg, hug her and and ogle her new cutie mark with obvious envy. I heard her say it wasn’t even a cutie mark; it was an “awesome mark.” Rainbow Dash looked exhausted but proud and happy as ever a pegasus could be. There will be time for mourning later; we needed to have some joy. Rainbow Dash would need explanations in full, but at a time when the children were asleep.
***
I have some unfinished business with my victim. I saved us all by bringing my friend back to life, and all I had to do was murder an innocent child. A child is a small price to pay for the lives of all of my ponies, isn’t it? As a leader of a nation, I’ll have to make decisions like this all too often, won’t I? How often did you have to harrow your soul like this?
Your miserable, despicable student,
Twilight Sparkle