Solo Gamer1
By
drweegee1337
As I walked into the O.C.I.O Office, I felt a pang of uncertainty. I heard that I was going to meet the "OC rejection machine" today.
If she is any worse than the others... I'm going to need a G.A to survive...
As I walked up to the counter I saw a stallion with some sort of uniform getting thrown out by two guards, the words coming out of his mouth confirmed that he was a soldier, at least according to me.
"So, are you the next one? Ms. Solo Gamer1, is that correct?" I nodded at the receptionist and took a seat on a nearby bench. The other OCs in the room seemed to avoid me, were red eyes really that scary? I brought out my laptop from one of my saddlebags and began to play Hawken.
After about 36 minutes, a purple mare walked up to me.
"Ahem, are you Solo? I'm Twilight Sparkle and I will be the one taking your case today." I mumbled a "okay, hold on a second" and continued to tear mechs apart in the game.
"If you could come NOW, you just might not get thrown out by me personally." I grunted and turned off the computer. She showed me towards an office with a nametag saying "T. Sparkle".
"I hate you bureaucrats," I mumbled barely loud enough for Sparkle to hear it.
"Excuse me? Did you say something?" I shrugged at the question. Twilight gave me a slightly annoyed look before sitting down behind her desk. She motioned for me to sit in the other chair.
"Now, Miss Gamer1. Could you please explain your files a little, they are just random nonsense. Read here." I took the file and read it loud.
Coat: yes
Mane: clean
Race: Not jew
Sex: wut?
Eyes: two
Cutie Mark: OFC!
Sexual Orientation: Lawl I dunno
I chuckled as I read it, but was interrupted when I met Twilight's eyes. I cleared my throat before talking.
"Well, I figured that none of you... let's just call you bureaucrats, never actually gave a bit about us immigrants and our files. Therefore you probably wouldn't read them anyways, I guess I was wrong on that point." I gave her a smile. No matter what she said to me, I would be able to counter it.
"Quite a cynic, are you? Well, I can't really argue with that logic. So tell me, why would you want to come into Equestria? What role do you want to have? And why are you having a number in your last name?" I thought a while at the question, I hadn't expected it to be said in that way.
"Well, I could be a background character. I would prefer to find a marefriend who shares interests with me and maybe we could settle down in Ponyville. As for the number, it was just a small typo. But I liked it and decided to keep it." That part was true. I wanted a marefriend, the fact that I was gender swapped as an OC hadn't changed my sexual orientation in the slightest (girls, not different species!).
"Okay then. What does your cutie mark represent? What is your special talent?" I thought about how to say it so that it would sound cool and not nerdy.
"My cutie mark is the controller for an Atari-2600, and my special talent is videogames in general." Twilight looked at me confused.
Uh oh, this can't mean well...
"Sooooo, what exactly is "Atari-2600". And what is a "videogame"? Is it what you were doing on that glowing thing earlier?" Twilight looked at me questioning.
Oh but by Stalin's manly moustache! Videogames doesn't exist in canon Equestria! It's only in fanfics...
"Well, a videogame is like a board game. But better in every way since it, it's hard to explain. You have to experience it." I took up my old DS and gave it to Twilight.
"Give it a try." After trying to start it for 10 minutes, and refusing my offerings for help. She gave up and threw the little device back to me. Something told me I gave her ego a powerful blow, I knew she was a wiseacre but this? She is even worse than me. She reached into one of the desk drawers and pulled out a stamp.
*DECLINED* It read in large red, bold letters. And of course the letters had to be in Comic Sans, the ugliest font in the history of ugly fonts! Ugh...
"But, why? Why am I not being accepted?" Twilight looked at me as if I was asking a question with an obvious answer.
"Well, for starters. You didn't fill out your files properly. Second, your special talent is for something that doesn't exist, which practically is like having no special talent at all. And lastly, you are a cynical, excuse my choice of words, troll who seems to have as her goal to piss me off." Okay, the declining wasn't a part I had prepared for, despite the fact that I was a realist. But I didn't stagger, she had the exact reaction I had been hoping for if I didn't pass.
"Oh, so I am the one with a dumb cutie mark and talent? What about you, what exactly does your cutie mark stand for? To me it looks like christmas decoration. Oh wait, you don't have christmas! I guess your cutie mark stands for something nonexistant too then! And your talent is so vague, magic. I mean, why not have something even more vague while your at it, like breathing. Or blinking with your eyes. Or how about STANDING UP? So before you criticise me, let me tell you the major differences between your talent and mine. First, mine is slightly more of an actual talent, and second: I can use mine to win a lot of money from where I come from. So shut up Sparkle butt, you don't have any rights to say that I have a stupid talent." I might have overstepped a few boundaries with that. But seriously, how was I supposed to know that bureaucrats with stupid talents could spontaneously evolve into Rapidash?
I made sure to leave quickly before the crazy pokemon could get me and stormed out of the building so that the next unfortunate soul could taste the axe.
"At least I warmed her up for her next victim. And I didn't need that G.A, it was enough with Mercury Threads." I said while smirking as I walked away from the O.C.I.O.