Dumpsters are green
The sky is blue
When you’re stuffed in the former
…*
“Sucks to be you,” Top Brass said smugly.
“Ya should’ve just quit while ya were ahead, shrimpie. Ya ain’t as smart as ya think ya are,” sneered Lemon Drops menacingly. “Yer a loser. Nothin’s evah gonna change dat.”
Ugh. Has it really just been three days? You could barely count your own hooves, let alone tell which day of the week it was. How in Equestria had it had gone sour so quickly?
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Your ears were ringing. So were, you thought, everyone else’s within a few feet around you. You’d never heard Babs sing before; heck, you’d rarely ever heard her raise her voice to anypony. The shockwave she just emitted from her mouth was as loud as it was surprising.
Rubbing your ears, you look over to Babs. Not only did she seem completely unmindful of your current state, she also seemed completely oblivious to everypony looking at her.
“I am so! So! So! Excited! We’ve got a long week ahead of us!,” Babs chirped, hopping up and down. The sheer girlish cuteness radiating from the scene in front of you was so powerful, it could be felt as actual heat.
No, wait. It’s even worse.
Watching Babs acting like this… was making you BLUSH.
Thank Celestia though, she hardly noticed. She started walking off the platform, bags in tow, towards the taxi carriages. She never once stopped talking, even as you offered to relieve her of her luggage, as you both got into the carriage, and even as the mad cab puller wove his way in and out of the tight midday traffic.
“…and then they pushed me clear through the float wall and off the road! It was awesome! They saved my life by a fraction of a second!”
“Wait a minute. I thought you were hanging out with those other locals? And I thought the float broke? Are you talking about a different one now? And what kind of friends would body check you clear through a float?!?”
Babs sheepishly rubs her front hooves together. “Heh heh, I may have left some things out. But don’t worry – the Cutie Mark Crusaders are some of the nicest fillies I know! They’re great! Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo – they’re all some o’ the best friends I’ve ever had… uh, including you of course!,” Babs swiftly adds.
She didn’t need to tell you that she left some details out – she had stayed over in Ponyville for just two weeks, but many of her glowing stories about her newfound friends occurred in just the last two days. When you asked her about anypony else she had met, she either turned away or evaded the line of thought completely. This begged the question of just what kind of backwater country this Ponyville was – how bad was it that Babs managed to enjoy only two of her days stay there?
And yet, Babs acted so much happier. She was practically glowing. She wanted to start the Manehattan branch of “The Cutie Mark Crusaders” – a club devoted to help ponies get their cutie marks. The idea, while not bad or particularly grand, was strange coming from Babs. She hardly ever talked about cutie marks; something, you knew, was due to the… less-than-forthcoming treatment of blankflanks at school.
Before Babs could tell you anything more about her plans, you had arrived at the stop of her apartment building. “Oh, hey, we’re here,” you say as you plant your hooves down and heave some of your friend’s bags onto your back. “We’ll just get these in your room and we can go over to Carni’s for some—oof!”
Huh. You guessed physical education class was keeping you fit after all; that, or you were so excited to finally hang out with Babs that you managed to trip over your own tiny legs. It’s a good thing you had made a first impression on Babs beforehand – this was not a very stallion-like pose you had currently struck.
“Ha ha – here, lemme help you up,” Babs said as she pushed her snout under your neck. Unfortunately, the close contact was causing you to wobble even more. “Dang it, brain” you think to yourself. Being helped up by a filly – not your ideal situation as a colt.
“Carni’s? Why there?”
“Well, I was thinking we’d play some laser tag and then stuff ourselves with corndogs and then we can ride The Spill but not in that order if you think we should ride, then stuff, then shoot…”
Ugh. Still not as smooth as you had hoped.
Babs calls your name to stop your train of thought. She was wearing that expression you were familiar with: grateful, but also apologetic.
“Sorry, dude, but I think I’m gonna stay at home today. It’s been a long trip and,” her eyes grow a bit misty as she continues, “I need to catch up with my sister.”
“Oh,” you say slightly dejectedly, “S’all good, Babs. I… uh…”
You couldn’t even complete your excuse when Babs puts a hoof to your snout and says “Next time. Next time, definitely.”
“Okay. I’ll be waiting!”
Something in your guts said that you’ll be waiting for a good long while. That, and that you were being watched…
==================================================================
Long story short – most of your plans didn’t quite hold up. While Babs did eventually join you for laser tag, she spent half the time passing out pamphlets for that new club of hers. Annoyingly, the former didn’t stop her from kicking your tail by 10 points. You had forgotten how absurdly fast that filly could be. The visit to the theme park was no fun either; between Babs brazenly walking up to other blankflanks (with yourself along for the ride) and the ridiculously long lines for even the concession stands, it just wasn’t as… special as it could have been. It wasn’t one of those experiences you could fondly look back to – the only thing good about was Babs buying you a Jurassic Stable keychain because she remembered how you went gaga for the theatrical reruns.
The last day couldn’t fail. You made sure of that – Mom and Dad had their thing to go to, your brother had assembled with his garage band for a night of partying, and your sister had her big art exhibit to attend. You had nothing else to do in the morning other than help Babs with her… “crusading.” From pet walking to carwashing, you did everything in your power to make sure whatever Babs had planned was done neatly and completely, as to not muscle in on your evening. It was much easier than you had thought though – you were joined by foals of different shapes and sizes, all moved by Babs and her promise of “helping find that something that makes everypony special.”
Truth be told, it was nice. You hadn’t seen Babs this happy since.. well, ever, really. It was surprising in that, despite nopony getting their cutie marks, you still felt like you had accomplished something.
As you looked up at the darkening sky, you wondered just why Babs had changed so much. Not that it was a bad thing, seeing her glow like that; it was just drastic. She went from that shy filly you knew to the strong friend who was currently getting entangled in her tent… Wait… Oh, horseapples…
==================================================================
“Okay, Seed – just move your right – ow! Not the snout! Just… gingerly move your right hindhoof and… there!” It may have taken the better part of twenty minutes, but you had safely recovered your friend from her would-be cloth captor AND managed to set up your sleeping quarters. Not a bad effort if you do say so yourself.
Now all you have to do is enjoy the night sky and maybe get that alone time you’ve been wanting. Truth be told, you’ve been looking forward to this evening more than you expected. You had asked you father about this while you were still planning it, but he wasn’t very clear as to why. All he did was to sweep you up and give you the thickest, warmest, burliest hug he could muster while muttering “He’s growing up so fast!” It didn’t do anything to answer why, but it did tell you that this could all just be part of growing up. Why you had become more fixated on one friend in particular, a filly no less, was… still…
It doesn’t really matter, you thought. We’re here now and that’s all that counts.
“Hey,” Babs calls out to you softly. “Thank you. For always being there for me. It means so much.”
Wow. Why was she suddenly saying this? Why here and now? At night? Under Luna’s beautiful moon and stars? You scoured your mind for things to say. Should you play it cool? Lay on the charm? Run as far away as you can and explain yourself when you saw her again next school year?
Before you knew it though, your words were tumbling out of your mouth.
“Babs… You’ve been one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I mean – you deserve me treating you the way I do. You listen to me, you respect me, you make time for me. Your… one of the best friends I’ve ever had… I don’t think anything can change that.”
“Well, I actually need to tell you something. The Crusaders weren’t the only ponies I hung out with…”
Before she gets to finish though, it comes back. That feeling that somepony’s been watching you. Before you can push it out of your head though, your suspicions are confirmed by a squeaky, snooty little voice.
“Aww, well isn’t dat sweet? Two widdle blankflanks out on a date. Pfft. Could you BE any more loser-like?!?”
Ugh. Lemon Drops.
“Yeah, shrimp. Camping? In the park? Hah!”
Urrggghh. Top Brass.
“Come on, guys – just leave us alone. We’re not even in your way!,” Babs fumed. Her cheeks had flushed red as she glared at your tormentors.
‘Sure ya are – my Dad bought this park yesterday! So pack up and get outta here, losers!”
“What!?” you bark. “You can’t ‘own’ a park! It’s public property!”
“News flash, shrimp: my father signed the dotted line, so that means he owns it. So vamoose already.”
“Top Brass, I swear, if you don’t leave us alone,” you begin as you try to make yourself look as imposing as possible.
“You’re going to what? Rat me out like you did D-Cell?”
You freeze in your tracks. You weren’t a snitch! D-Cell had it coming! He was picking on a filly for crying out loud!
“Yeah, D-Cell told me. You can show him that surprised look on your face yourself when he comes back next week!”
What? D-Cell’s coming back?!?
“You really want to know, don’t you? I can tell from that slack-jawed look you’re giving me. I had my old man arrange it. Everything you did for this fillyfriend of yours is all worthless,” Top Brass practically hissed as venomous glee laced his words.
“Back. Off. Or I’m tellin’ your parents about you,” Babs challenged. Determination was strong in her voice. She wasn’t even shaking – she… wasn’t afraid.
“Nice try, toots. I got Mama wrapped around my little hooves. She won’t believe what a blankflank has ta say. You. Ain’t. Scarin. Nopony,” Lemon Drops said as she advanced on Babs, grinning slyly. That filly had always been exceedingly good at mind-games. She was eyeing Babs, waiting for her to throw a punch.
Too bad you beat her to it.
==================================================================
A lot of ponies tell you to never hit a mare. They never tell you how hard mares can hit. Or how well.
“Karate class. Ain’t they something?”
“I must say: you have guts, shrimpie. I’ve never seen anypony brave enough to get his flanks pounded in by a girl in front of his girl.”
You couldn’t even muster a grunt in reply. Your nose was caked in dried blood and your left eye had been beaten blue. Garbage reeked around you.
“Sucks to be you.”
“Ya should’ve just quit while ya were ahead, shrimpie. Ya ain’t as smart as ya think ya are. Yer a loser. Nothin’s evah gonna change dat.”
It must have been about six hours now.
“I guess it’s been four days,” you groan as you try to rise from the dumpster.
“There you are! Man, I was so worried!”
Babs pulled you out of your metallic prison and enclosed you in a tight bearhug.
Before she can say anything, you snap at no one in particular:
“I HATE BULLIES SO MUCH. I wish they’d all get what they deserve. I wish they never have friends. I wish they’d all just go away.”
Babs froze. She slowly releases her grip from you and walks away.
“Babs? Babs, what’s wrong?”
She breaks into a full gallop, sobbing her eyes out; she leaves you to sit there, dumbfounded.
You didn’t give chase. Your body was in too much pain.
Tomorrow.
==================================================================
Getting your mom to patch you up without asking why you got clobbered was tricky, but it paled in comparison to getting Babs’ sister to spill the beans on your friends location.
“She doesn’t want to see anypony right now. I’m sorry,” Miss Sesame said. She looked almost as dejected as, well, you.
“You should probably try coming back around next week,” she adds. “I’m sure we’ll have all of this straightened out as well.
Great – that’s two things to look forward to. The return of your old “punch buddy” D-Cell and getting Babs to tell you why she had just run off.
Odd as it was, you focused more heavily on the latter. D-Cell was a scary prospect, but he was easy to figure out. This trouble with Babs… It was different. You knew you needed to find an answer.
“I need to go to Ponyville.”