One moment the Macho Man had been soaking in a state of sudsy euphoria and now he found himself suspended in some sort of cosmic void, a purple hued constellation with hisself as the focal point. He removed his glasses and gander end all about, trying to ascertain his location but to no avail. Randy didn't have the slightest idea where he was but this whole event was definitely rustling his jimmies; he would rank it somewhere around a .4 on the Macho Madness scale and definitely within the top ten strangest bubble baths he'd ever had.
Twiddling his fingers a smacking his lips audibly, he surveyed the vast expanses of the universe which the Gods of Wrestling had so graciously, and randomly, laid out before him. He'd told Okerlund once in an interview that he was bound for the Twilight Zone but he hadn't expected to reach ultimate wrestling zen so soon in his studies. Surely the great deities of the Friday Night SmackDown had made a mistake by summoning him prematurely into their midst; after all, what loving gods would deny him the right to lay out Hulk Hogan. Not any gods he cared to spend an eternity with. He appealed to his summoner, somewhere in the void:
"Space-time distortion, ooh yeah. Space is the Place and Macho's the man but the time...the time is premature, yeah...Send me back. SEND ME BACK!! I have unfinished business with the Hulkster!"
As he screamed blindly into the void, he felt the impression that his calls were only falling on deaf ears. This was not the Elysium Gardens, a valley of well-toned and greased heroes, that he had dreamt many a night of; rather, this was Wrestling Limbo, his own personal slice of Hell set to a starry backdrop. He drifted for what seemed like hours, his head hung low, before he became aware of something beckoning to him from the darkness. There was no way to explain the feeling other than comparing it to the dinner bell that his mother used to ring to call him in from play after a long day's Macho Madness. He perked his ears and listened intently to the vacuum before him.
In time he became attuned to a dulcet, maternal voice calling to him through the cosmos; it reminded him of his own mother, God rest her soul. He couldn't make out the words of the song being sung to him but the simple serenity conveyed by the tone of the voice was enough to draw him nearer, as if he were caught in an undertow. He drifted through space in the same manner that one might tread water, kicking his massive calves and swinging his defined biceps in unison.
"Macho Mama?! Mama, is that you? I've missed you so much, ooh yeah. I'm sorry mother, I-"
"Peace Tenacity," the voice resonated across the rift. "I'm not your mother, though I consider you one of my many children all the same; I am the Princess Celestia of Equestria and, though you do not know it yet, our destinies are intertwined. I know you to hold the keys to my nation's survival. I'm appealing to you, as one sovereign to another, to please assist me in restoring peace to my land."
The Macho Man cocked his head at her words, dragging his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose so that his eyes were just barely visible.
"Sovereign? I'm no king, just a humble man who also happens to be the greatest wrestler who ever lived, ooh yeah!"
"It is written in your fate; I've seen it etched in your heart. There can be no other to fill the space you reside in."
Randy strokes his beard feverishly, his brow furrowing and a smug hint of a smile stretching across his lips.
"Are you saying that I, moi, AM THE GREATEST AND MOST INDISPUTABLY IMPORTANT INTERCONTINENTAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION IN THE KNOWN AND UKNOWN UNIVERSE?!"
"You are the Macho Man Randy Savage, are you not?"
"Ooh yeah," the Macho Man cooed, his ego stroked perfectly. "You're just affirming what I already knew baby! I'm the cream of the crop...yep...and as we all know the cream always rises to the top! Yes!" He threw several packets of coffee creamer into the vacuum of space which he kept on his person especially for circumstances calling for his 'cream of the crop' speech.
The Princess let out a small giggle at the Macho Man's expense, something that Randy would not leave unchallenged.
"HEY! Are you laughing at me?! You're probably some kind of Hulkamaniac aren't you? Is this your idea of humor?! THE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE IS NOT AMUSED!"
"No, no Tenacity." Celestia said as she composed herself. "My laughing isn't directed at you, per say; I find your confidence endearing, infectious even. It reminds me of someone I knew once, long ago."
Letting the last of the giggles flow forth from her diaphragm, at length Celestia continued to speak:
"Once again, I beseech you Randall-"
"Macho Man."
I beseech you, Macho Man; help me to bring harmony back to a plagued kingdom. I know wholeheartedly that your stalwartness will see the chaotic Discord returned to his marble prison."
The Macho Man absorbed Celestia's words, considering their plight with as much professionalism as he could muster. His ego had been sufficiently stroked by the Princess's kind words but his palms remained ungreased. Why should he care about the affairs of another world, one he carried no stake in, when he had his own obstacles to overcome back in the Federation. It was true that he was a glory hound above all, but a little tangible 'recognition' of his efforts would be necessary as well. Ever the Macho Miser, Randy began to twist the kindly Princess's arm:
"What's in it for me, huh? What am I going to receive as payment for fighting your battles for you? This has to be a mutual agreement; it can't just benefit you, ooh no princess."
"You will receive the greatest boon of all, one most prized by my people. Many have claimed to know of it but few have been lucky enough to reside in its awe inspiring radiance."
The Macho Man licked his chops avidly, his interest now piqued.
"Radiance, huh? That's one of those fancy words for shiny, ain't it? The Macho Man likes shiny things, ooh yeah! Count me in BABY!"
A moment later, Randy was bathed in a glorious golden light, the tingling sensation returning to his rippling muscles. He felt himself dissipating. It was a comforting feeling, like a full body cleanse, YEAH!
"BEAM ME UP SCOTTI-"
In that instant the Macho Man was transported to the Canterlot Castle garden, leaving the cosmos minus one radiant, shining star.