"That might literally be the dumbest thing I have ever heard anybody say," I deadpan.
The agents exchange a look. "Your roommate confirmed it and since Rarity is here we're more inclined to believe it."
"And why are you taking his word for it? Why does 'Rarity is in my room' equate 'I've been to Equestria'?"
"Have you?" asks Agent Johnson.
"I think we've established that I'm denying it."
"So why would he say that? Where would he get the idea that you would have, particularly if you told him honestly about his suspicions that you had Rarity in your room?"
"To get back at me for not letting me see her I imagine," I say.
"Don't give me that, Mr. Powell," says Agent Tanner. "He had no reason to lie to us like that, particularly to get back at you."
"Really? Because it'd be a pretty good way to screw me over. You wouldn't exactly ignore the fact that you have the only known person who has ever traveled to an alternate dimension in your hands."
Agent Johnson opens his mouth to retort, but a trio of sharp knocks on the door cut him off. He growls and stands up. "What is it now?" he mumbles angrily. He walks over to the door and opens it once more. The same suited man is on the other side and hands something to Agent Johnson with a few words.
Something chillingly familiar.
Agent Johnson turns around and to my horror he is holding the staff I got in Canterlot with a vaguely triumphant smile on his face. "Care to explain this one?" he says. He examines a few of the carvings. "This one looks a heck of a lot like Princess Celestia and you. You seem to be..." he frowns and looks in closer. "Punching her in the face?"
Agent Tanner looks at the staff quizzically and examines the uppermost carving. "Well that's something," she mutters.
"Can I have that back? It's kind of mine," I say.
Agent Johnson looks back up at me. "TD, how in the name of Luna being best princess did you survive something like that?"
I smirk. "Simple, she values all life too much to let Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash accidentally murder a half-dead human."
"So you were in Equestria," says Agent Tanner.
"You're holding the proof in your hands, I couldn't deny it if I wanted to at this point."
"Yeah, see, that kind of changes everything," says Agent Tanner. "Not only do we now know for sure that there are other universes out there, but we have a person who has been there for however long right in front of us."
"Two months," I elaborate.
"See? More than enough time to get an incredible amount of data about the world, moreso than we would have gotten by simply watching the show." Agent Tanner sighs and puts her hand on her forehead. "And the entire series might now be required viewing for our staff now that you and Rarity are here if nothing else than for background information on Rarity."
Agent Johnson clearly represses a smile at the thought of staff viewing parties and I have to admit, the image of thirty FBI agents and twenty scientists in lab coats sitting around and watching My Little Pony is pretty funny. Agent Johnson continues examining the carvings but gasps when he gets to the bottom one. "You have to see this!" he says.
Agent Tanner leans over and Agent Johnson points at the carving. Agent Tanner's jaw drops and she actually takes a few steps back.
"What, which one is it?" I ask.
Agent Johnson maneuvers the staff over to me and I look at the carving in question. It's me and Rarity being arrested. Wow... that one wasn't there before.
"How did you do this?" asks Agent Johnson. "There is no way that you could possibly have known about this so how is this possible?"
I sigh and rub my temples despite the handcuffs. I briefly consider lying to them but I'm pretty much forced into the truth at this point. "I got it for ten bits in Canterlot. It records significant events in my life. Whenever one happens it appears on the staff."
Agent Johnson grins excitedly and turns back to the door. he opens it and hands the staff back to the third agent. "Take this to the lab too. This boy here just became a lot more interesting."
"I'm twenty-one. If I can buy booze and drink it till I pass out I'm not really a boy anymore."
Agent Johnson ignores the remark and closes the door again. He sits back down opposite me and to my surprise he takes a set of keys out of his pocket and takes off my handcuffs. I start rubbing my wrists, trying to get a little more feeling in them.
Agent Johnson leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. "So here's the deal: we're not going to hurt Rarity or you at all. It just wouldn't be prudent in the least to harm a person and pony that could greatly increase our knowledge in fields that were myths or theories before now."
"You catch more flies with honey than vinegar," I snark.
"Explain it how you will but that's the gist, sure."
"So what does that mean for Rarity and I?"
Agent Johnson opens up a folder and peruses a few documents. "Well, from what we've talked with Rarity, though she's been largely unreceptive to us, she sees you as her father figure here on Earth. Most of the scientists I've discussed the issue with seem to agree that breaking the two of you apart would be counter-productive for everybody and that is the last thing that we want.
"So, while no details have been finalized, it will probably come to pass that you and Rarity will be given a permanent residence somewhere where she could be studied and you would be accessible for interviews about Equestria."
"I couldn't tell you what I know that the show doesn't already show," I say.
"I suppose that the series will have to be required viewing for you too then," says Agent Tanner thoughtfully. "Maybe more than once."
...Son of a--
"But we can work that out later," says Agent Johnson. "Right now we're going to move the two of you to a temporary holding space. Not a prison cell or anything like that, but temporary quarters. I assure you that it will be most comfortable for the two of you."
"And my family?" I say. "What are you going to tell them? I can't just disappear off the face of the Earth... again."
The agents exchange an uneasy look that frankly I'm not wild about either. Agent Tanner speaks up first. "Well since we cannot house you and Rarity in somewhere public you'll be largely isolated. We would prefer that as few people as possible know about this and we can't risk your family telling other people, as low as the risk of others believing them is."
A glower crosses my face and I lean forward. "So let me get this straight: a year ago I was pulled into Equestria and I lost my family for two months. I finally made it back and lived in peace for a whole year before this and now because Rarity is here and sees me as her dad I have to lose my family for the rest of my life?! The only way they're not going to wonder where I am is if you tell them that I'm dead!"
"I'm sorry but we can't let you go. Rarity and your knowledge must be kept a secret for now, I'm sorry."
"And what about Ben and the security guards who saw Rarity?"
"The security guards will be bribed and threatened with imprisonment if they reveal state secrets. Ben will be seen as little more than a lunatic spouting Bigfoot myths."
I snort and lean back. "I half expected assassinations."
Agent Tanner chuckles. "You've seen one too many movies, Mr. Powell."
"That still doesn't answer what you're going to tell my family. If you let me see them then I might spill the beans about this and in turn you'd have to arrest me for telling government secrets and that would destroy any goodwill you had built up with Rarity."
"Then you understand our rather delicate situation." Agent Johnston stands up and puts the file under his arm. "The two of you will not be harmed and you will want for absolutely nothing but this is too big for both our country and science to simply let go, I'm sorry."
"Go buck yourself," I growl.
"Pony profanity, how cute," says Agent Johnson with a sad smile. With that, the two agents exit the interrogation room and lock the door behind them.
When they're gone, I slowly stand up from my seat. So that's it then. I'm going to be in the custody of the government for a while. That's...that's...
I let out a scream of pure emotional agony and despair as I try to flip the table. It's bolted to the floor as are the chairs so I can't even take my anger out on them. They're gone. My family is gone once again. Sure I'm back on Earth but once more ponies have COMPLETELY RUINED MY LIFE!!!
"WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST FREAKING LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?!?" I shout to pretty much everybody. Ben, the cops, Celestia...
Celestia. The pony who I ironically enough want to see the most right now. If she can find me then she can get me out of this mess. But for now I feel... hopeless, like the whole world is crashing down on me. Well, it is.
With nothing else to do, I do what I haven't done in years to relieve some tension if I can. I didn't even do this when I was in Equestria but with everything that's happened to me...
I sit down facing a corner with my head in my hands and cry.
* * * *
I hear the door open sometime later. I've stopped crying by that point, I was really only going for about ten minutes, and I'm back on the chair. It's the two agents again. "What now?" I growl.
"It's time to move you two. We'll be taking you in a secure car to your temporary quarters." He begins idly spinning a pair of handcuffs. "I trust we don't need these?" I shake my head and stand up, allowing the two of them to escort me out of the room. It is a short journey though the police station to a large SWAT type van in the back of the station. We stop just outside of it, and I raise a hand to signal Agent Johnson.
"Hold it."
He stops and looks back at me. "Yeah?"
I motion with my head to the van. "Is she already in there?" He nods, and I return it. "Okay. Give me a second." I start taking deep breaths and rubbing my face, trying to get emotionally centered enough to see Rarity again. I can't be upset in front of her. I can't let her think that it's all wrong. I'm completely fine. Gotta make us both believe that.
After a few seconds, I deeply exhale, then nod to the agents. Agent Tanner opens the doors to the van and I step inside. To my relief Rarity is unsecured in any way, and she looks unharmed. She squeals in delight and relief when she sees me.
"Father!" she runs up to me and wraps my legs in a hug. "They didn't hurt you!"
"I'm fine," I say reassuringly. "Did they hurt you at all?"
Rarity shakes her head. "Oh no, not for a moment, even though I was worried that they would," she reassures me. "One of the officers at our arrest, Frank I believe his name was, was very insistent at that. He protected me from anything bad and had them stop asking me questions when I got too upset."
I can't help but manage a small smile at this as I sit down in the back of the van. It's good to know that somebody cares about more than just science. Rarity jumps up on the bench next to me and moves in closer to me allowing me to put an arm over her shoulders. "Where are they taking us, Father?" she asks.
"I don't know." I take a deep breath. "From what they've told me they're taking us to a place where we'll live and they'll learn all about us. They won't hurt us, I promise you." I'll kill anybody who tries.
"And what about your family? Will they let you out to see your parents or Aunt Kristen again?"
My silence doubtlessly tells her all she needs to know, but I try to respond anyway. "Uh, I'm sure that someday I'll get to see them again. Just not right now is all. They want to keep us a secret. It'll be easier and safer for us that way."
"Oh. Okay," says Rarity.
The ride to our new destination is thankfully pretty smooth which allows Rarity to get some much needed sleep. I hear her light snores after only ten or so minutes into the ride. Poor kid deserves it after everything that happened today. Not four hours ago she was relatively safe in my room. Now she's in the back of a van being taken who knows where so who knows what can happen to her. Of course, I'm kind of in the same boat--er, van--as she is.
Seeing the sleeping filly in my arm reminds me that I'm pretty friggin' tired too. I look around the van for anything resembling a blanket but find nothing so I just do my best to tilt my head back and get some sleep.