I felt myself slowly slipping into the euphoria that is a good nights sleep. My body slowly felt heavier as my feelings of worry and ill tidings melted into...
“I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dax,” my heart caught in my throat and I nearly shrieked like a banshee at Pest's voice in my ear. If my bed wasn't on the floor I would have fallen off of it. It took me a second to regain my heart rate enough to even comprehend the sound of Pest's laughter. Despite the situation, I couldn't help but calm down from her laugh.
“Oh, laugh it up now, Pest. Soon I will be the one to hold the cards,” I didn't really know what I meant by that, but I felt it sounded somewhat troubling.
“Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I need help packing,” Pest said
“You can do that on your own, I need to go to sleep so I can get up early to see the princesses,” I drawled groggily, “good first impressions and all that.” In all honesty I didn't care what Luna thought of me, I was going to be a citizen of her country whether she wanted me to or not. Her view of me was largely unneeded, as Celestia already knew me and probably liked me.
“If you don't help me, I'm going to make every waking moment of your Equestrian home life a living state of discomfort,” this more or less was sufficient enough to get me up and moving.
“What do you even need me to do?” I asked her simply.
“Nothing illegal, just check my luggage and make sure it's appropriately packed. Simple, or not?” How she could manage to think she overpacked or under-packed on a semi-permanent move was beyond me. But hey, what's a few minutes, give or take?
-the next day, around 3:00 in the afternoon, somewhere over an ocean between Humania and Equestria-
She had been overpacked. Oh Celestia how she was overpacked. I wasn't even able to get in bed until four in the morning and had slept straight through my alarm. I didn't even get up until noon, a good six hours late to my meeting with the princesses. At that point, neither Pest nor I even had time to bathe, a fact that Pest (who really enjoys her warm baths) hated. By the time we made it to the castle, Celestia and Luna were about to leave. My grandfather had become so upset he just sort of gave in and didn't even care that we were late. Pest, Luna, Celestia and I were about two thirds of the way there and the only ones who had talked were Pest and Celestia. Luna and I had silently agreed to ourselves that we had nothing to gain from conversing with anyone, I think that we'll get along fine.
“So Luna,” Celestia started, “would you like to ask our friend Dax how much the human race has changed since you left?”
Curse you, Celestia. Curse the ground you walk upon and the air you breathe.
Luna looked from me to Celestia. She probably was having similar thoughts to me at that moment. “Okay, Dax. Is your race still the sniveling, freeloading, violent race you were a thousand years ago?” Celestia less-than-gently nudged Luna.
I put on my biggest and most interested fake smile I could muster “No, Humania's basically on its feet. The only problem right now is the lack of interactions with other races, which I'm supposed to fix... Also I'm pretty sure the Griffin territories are still trying to declare war on us."
“I don't remember much about you humans,” Luna continued, “but didn't you always complain about us not having as complex luxuries as you?” What was she talking about? Seems that Luna was dealing with some form of racism against humans.
“Luna, the human race isn't at all like they were one thousand years ago,” Celestia said, looking at me apologetically, “Humans actually rebuilt a lot of their old technology and basically singlehoofedly fixed most countries' problems with medicines beyond herbalism that potentially doubled most ponies life expectancy. Coupled with their introductions of advanced metallurgy and assembly line products that could be made cheaply, quickly, and quantitatively, humans revolutionized not only Equstria's economy but almost all of Equis.”
Celestia took a deep breath in and out, seemingly calming herself and preparing for something. Luna was looking back and forth between me and her sister.
“Seriously?” Luna asked, sort-of unnecessarily.
“Hold on, we're about to cross over Equestrian borders,” I saw Luna tense up.
Suddenly, a brick wall of force slammed into me. The wind rushed out of my lungs and I gasped for air. The force may have been sudden, but it didn't end quickly. I felt myself slam into the back of the chariot. My lungs no longer had anything to get knocked out of them, but my stomach was nowhere near as lucky. I felt as if I was caught between an unstoppable force and an unmovable object. What could I do? The only things I could do: vomit, convulse, cry, and pray that my bladder was not the next to be forced to unload. This lasted for about a minute until it relented enough for me to breath properly. I don't think any of those present were doing any better.
“Yeah, so...question? What the hell was that?” Pest asked, summing up all of my questions.
“Equstria's main defense to invasion.” Celestia said, “you humans have your giant electromagnets, we have a force field. Any non-pony that passes Equestrian borders without permission is given a painful but bearable push back. Unfortunately the spell identifies alicorns as a non-pony.”
“We're entering without permission?” I asked
“Celestia insisted that permission to go see Humania was unneeded,” Luna said, with anger dripping from her words.
“The humans didn't seem to mind having us show up out of nowhere,” Celestia said smugly.
“Yeah, well the humans don't have a racist force field.”
“We shall be arriving in Ponyville shortly,” true to her word, I could see Ponyville in the distance.
Here goes nothing, off to an unfamiliar land with ponies I don't know whom my grandfather wishes me to get in an acquaintance with. God I hate social interactions. Why me specifically, first off? I mean, I don't have that much going for me. Do I? Does my Grandfather see something in me that I don't? Probably not, but who knows. Maybe I'm destined to save this land. Yeah, and maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt. I check my rear to make sure that this is not happening.
“Hey Dax?” Pest questioned
“What?”
“Where are we staying?”
I was about to answer Pest's question, when I realized I had none.
“Did you bring money?” She asked
I hadn't.
“I only brought some human bills. Probably not worth anything here since we're not on the gold standard.” She sighed outwardly, “Can we bum some coinage off of you, princesses?”
“Oh surprise, surprise. The human needs a give-away,” Luna truthfully has deep rooted racism towards humans.
“Actually, your grandfather bought a small plot of land from Equestria and built a house on it,” Celestia stated.
I wonder when she planned to relinquish that information.
The chariot lurched for a second when it landed, seemingly just a stone throws away from the nearest house of Ponyville.
“Welcome to the White Tail Woods, home of Ponyville's annual running of the leaves and your new backyard,” Celestia said.
It was beautiful to say the least. My new house, that is. I barely noticed the whatever woods. My home fit me perfectly. It was a single story home with solar panels on the roof and a wind turbine up front, which meant I had power. That was all I needed to know. I grabbed my stuff from the chariot and dashed like a mad man into my new abode.
“Wait, before you go, I have a gift,” Celestia said, “two tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala, enjoy”
And with that, she was off.
-Dax's and Pestilentia's new home, one hour later-
I began setting up the room that would soon become my garage. Unlike its predecessor, it was actually a garage. Some of the tools I worried I would no longer have access to were apparently included in my new home bundle. Pest had also found enough bits in a safe to keep us financially secure for about six months.
“Hey, Dax? How do I look?” I turned to the doorway and rested my eyes upon an all to familiar pony.
She was lanky with a light honeydew green coat. Her dark green mane fell over her face as it always did, hiding one of her oceanic blue eyes. Her cutie mark was that of three hearts, two blood red and one ice blue, every time you asked her about it she had a new story to tell. As far as most people were concerned, she was my only friend and my assistant.
“Hey Pest, what's with your OC?” I asked.
“Oh, you know. Don't want to scare the whole town by existing.”
I don't know why, but whenever Pest is nearby is when I have my best ideas. Needless to say, I was about to be brilliant.
-Ponyville library, same time-
“Spike, you can send the letter,” Twilight said with a certain finality to it.
“Now you won't get to go to the Gala either,” Fluttershy murmured, barely above a whisper.
“It's okay girls, I couldn't possibly enjoy myself without my best friends there with me. So I'd rather not go at all,” everypony present gathered together at these words, simply glad to be friends.
Knock, knock
“Now who could that be?” Rarity asked to nopony in particular.
Spike ran over to the door, curious as to who was behind it.
To the shock and awe of everypony present, behind door number one stood Celestia herself. They all quickly kneeled to a bow, save Twilight, who ran over to her mentor for a brief nuzzle.
“Rise my little ponies, there is no need for any formalities; I am here with a gift,” Celestia produced six tickets.
“They always give me way too many of these,” she complained under her breathe.
“Now we can all go!” Twilight announced with joy. Everypony began hooting and hollering along with her.
“So princess, what exactly are you doing out here?” Rainbow Dash asked. Everypony stopped their rejoicing to hear her answer.
“Just dropping off the son of the daughter of a friend who is moving to Ponyville,” before she could be questioned further, she exited the library. Twilight and Pinkie Pie quickly dawned worried looks upon their faces,
“If the Princess brought him here, he's probably a very important pony. What if he doesn't like Ponyville because nopony formally welcomes him?” Twilight questioned.
“The Princess never told us where he's staying! I can't throw a welcome party when I don't know where he is!” Pinkie Pie demanded.
“We need to see him, now!” Twilight and Pinkie yelled in unison.
“Now there ain't no need to stress,” Applejack said, “we'll cross that bridge when it comes. If'n he is one a those city slickers who'll write off a town just cause he doesn't get a welcome comity then he probably ain't worth the trip over.”
“I hope you're right, Applejack,” Twilight spoke solemnly, “I really do.”