“Nhhehehehe… Hahahaheeheeheeheeheehee! Oh, this is too rich, darling, heeheeheehee!”
Applejack wasn’t normally the type to think through all the scenarios; when she made a plan, she tended to just assume things would work out the way she wanted and resolved to think on the fly should something go amiss. But for this plan, she had actually gone and tried to figure out all the ways Rarity might react.
Rarity laughing right in her face, so hard that the farmmare could hear her natural accent slipping through, had not been something she had considered. It was even more proof that Applejack truly didn’t get Rarity.
“Now what’s so darn funny!?” Applejack asked, her annoyance seeping into her words despite her attempt to hold them back.
“Oh-ho-ho-ho, Appleja-a-ack,” Rarity said as she tried to hold back her laughter. “And here I expected Pinkie’s present for my birthday to give me a good laugh, not yours! Oh, my.” She giggled a couple more times, wiping a tear from her eye as she regained her regal composure. “I must thank you for that, darling. I really did need that laugh; getting older is only getting more and more depressing, don’t you find?”
Applejack grit her teeth together, desperately wanting to bite back the words she felt rising up unbidden, but she was the Element of Honesty for a reason. “Not as depressin’ as havin’ the fancy outfit you only put on for a friend’s benefit get mocked by said friend.”
The smile slowly disappeared from Rarity’s face, her eyes widening. “You mean you–you didn’t intend this as a farce? This was a legitimate attempt at dressing up?”
“That’s right, it was! And I’m sorry for patronizin’ yer competition, but I wanted this to be a surprise, dagnabbit!” Applejack’s voice was getting louder as she went, but she knew the only way out now was to get it all out of her system. “I went and spent good bits on this here dress. I had my hair done up all nice and shiny. I got us a reservation for two at that fancy new restaurant that you haven’t been able to shut up about; I had to pull some strings with the kitchen staff, give ‘em a good deal on my apples to do so. Tarnations, Rarity, I even left my pappy’s hat at home! And now yer tellin’ me it was for nothin’!?”
The only sound in the Boutique was Applejack’s heavy breathing, her eyes fixed on Rarity’s, which were brimming once again with tears, but of an entirely different kind. After a few moments of silence, the earth pony lowered her gaze to the ground. “Look, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to be yelled at on yer birthday… You shouldn’t have to be yelled at at all, Rarity.”
A few hoofbeats were all the warning Applejack got before she felt Rarity’s muzzle against her neck, the nuzzle forcing her to raise her head and see Rarity’s sad smile. “It’s quite alright, dear. I should be the one apologizing, not you; you do all these wonderful things for me, and I reward you by laughing at you?” She shook her head. “No. Applejack, I am truly sorry. You are a wondrous, considerate friend.”
Applejack moved to nuzzle Rarity in response to her apology, but the unicorn was already stepping back, her horn beginning to pulse with light. “However, I’m afraid the same cannot be said for the charlatans who sold you this dress.” Rarity’s tools of the trade floated into Applejack’s field of view, worrying dominated by a large variety of scissors and shears. “Applejack, would you mind if I made a few… adjustments?”
“I… suppose not,” Applejack replied hesitantly.
Rarity smiled wickedly. “Excellent.” The tools suddenly flew towards Applejack at what she felt were decidedly unsafe speeds, and she struggled to hold still for a moment before realizing that Rarity’s precision was simply perfect, the various implements of fashion not even harming a hair in her coat as they worked on the dress.
All the while, Rarity criticized the work of her competitors, her eyes set in a hard glare. “Are they colourblind? This fabric doesn’t match your coat in the slightest. This is far too wide for the back; are they trying to make you look overweight? By Celestia, this is the gaudiest ornamentation I have ever seen.”
In a couple minutes, Rarity’s weapons of war had done their dirty work, excising everything the fashionista had found offensive about the dress. As the sharp blades retreated back to their homes, Applejack finally chanced a glance downwards, and found herself as naked as the day she was born, the remains of her dress littering the floor around her. She looked up at Rarity in surprise, finding a satisfied smile on her friend’s face.
“Now your true beauty shows.”
Applejack couldn’t help but blush, rubbing the back of her head (and being annoyingly reminded of her missing hat in the process). “As long as we’re bein’ so honest and all, I gotta confess… I had sort of dreamt that this evenin’ would end with you tearin’ that dress offa me.”
Rarity smirked, giving Applejack a sultry gaze as she said, “Well, since we’ve already taken care of that, we shall simply have to see what other sorts of activities we can end our evening with. Now, about that reservation…”