“Uh, Lucian, are you okay?” Twilight asked. She extended a forehoof out, then poked the human, who was on the floor.
Lucian began to snicker, only to end in near sobs as he curled up tighter into his ball. Himself in the corner, he just kept rocking, the only light shining in coming from the doorway to the library’s front lobby. Frowning, Twilight looked to the room’s dark curtains – which she certainly didn’t remember putting up. Come to think of it, she hadn’t exactly been in this backroom in a long while. Those curtains hadn’t been in here last time. Who put those curtains up, then?
Twilight blinked, forcing her attention back to the cowering human. “Lucian?”
“This’d be a perfect time to have some hero to look up to,” the trainer muttered. “Alas, my life of narcissism has made myself my only hero – and they say you should never meet your heroes in person! They. Were. Right!”
Rubbing an ear, she sighed. “I don’t suppose that it’s the custom of your people to cower in fear when you enter a dwelling for the first time?”
“Only in Harlem – but don’t, ’cause there’s probably piss on the floor!” he squeaked.
“Then what’s going on?”
“Wharrgarbl.”
“That’s not helpful in the least bit.” She glanced over her shoulder, checking to see if or not she closed the front door. To her satisfaction, it was shut. However, to her puzzlement, the curtains were drawn over all of the windows, not just the ones in the backroom.
For that matter, what was with her sudden obsession with curtains? Had she suddenly caught some some of feng shui disease? Was Lucian a carrier of such a disease–
She shook her head. “So, what’s the problem?”
“Nobody saw me enter.”
“Well, I guess. I hardly saw a soul in town. In fact, I don’t think anypony saw us, which is really weird for this time of day.” She paused. “I bet Pinkie Pie's up to something... again.”
“I think I’m going to throw up.”
She took a step back. “W-why?”
“Did you not see them?”
“Them?”
“The other people – those like me!”
“No,” she answered hesitantly, “I saw no beings like you. In fact, I never have.”
“Exactly! Not a one! But know what I saw? More animals like you!”
“We are called ponies, thank you very much.”
“That’s my point!” he croaked. “No men, just ponies – and it so many colors, I swear t’insert-deity-of-your-choice-here that y’all were made’a candy!” Lucian paused. “And I suddenly got a Southern Yankee accent. Hell’s wrong with me?”
“Yankee what now?” Twilight asked, narrowing an eye. “If anything, that was sort of a generic country accent.”
“Yankee – from Dutch, possibly meaning ‘John Cheese’.” He snickered. “Sorry, the South ain’t Yankee. They’re Dixie. Dixieland. You know, they had a whole war over that. It was silly, I think. I dunno. I just remember that John Cheese found against a brand of paper plates – least that’s how I anthropomorphize it when I was a child and unable to comprehend mass and wholesale slaughter of young men.” He laughed again.
Twilight took a step back. “What was that last part, the thing about that death?”
He curled a hand into a fist, then stuck it up into the air, his body still curled in the dim corner. “The Society of Righteous and Harmonious Fists. If you know what famous historical uprising that’s from – that they don’t really teach in history class – I’ll give you a cookie.” He balled back up. “Oh, who am I kidding? I’m using knowledge and facts and phallic symbols to comfort myself!”
“But what’s the problem? You’re just cowering in a corner, but you’re not telling me what’s wrong!” Twilight snapped. “I can put up with a lot – and I mean a lot – but you are. Trying. My. Patience!” Putting a hoof to her head, she took a deep breath, then muttered to herself, “Calm down, girl. Calm down.”
“What’s wrong?” Lucian snickered once. “I’ll tell ya what, girl – walking in here, I ain’t seen another man or woman, just ponies like yourself.”
Twilight cocked a brow. “Why would there be others like you?”
He laughed thrice. “I ask of thee, who is thy master?”
“I... what?”
“Know ye your master? Knowst thou thy master?”
“Why are you talking like that?”
Lucian slammed a hand against the wooden floor. “Whom do you serve?”
“Nopony,” she answered, tilting her head.
“Then thou hast neither master nor mistress.”
“Stop talking like that.”
“Lo! You have no lord, thus you are free!”
“Um–”
“And lo!” He paused. “Yeah, I got nothing. Wait, no, I remember.” He cleared his throat. “You’re not a Pokemon! At least not one I know! It all makes sense, why...” Lucian trailed off.
“What’s a Pokemon?”
He groaned. “Talking to you is like invading Poland.”
“What?”
“Oh, that’s just a standard insult. Seriously, you can compare anything to invading Poland.” He scrunched up, saying in a low-pitch voice, “Dude, dating her is like invading Poland – everyone’s done it, and they all leave unsatisfied.”
Twilight just stared at him.
“Hey, Russia, Austria, care for a rousing gave of Polandball? I, the future Imperii Germanici, shall serve.” He sighed. “I’m going to die here, cold and alone and with only Mr. Fish to keep me company.”
Somewhere in the front room, a door opened and then closed.
“Wow, Pinkie,” came a muffled male voice, “I can’t believe that all happened.”
“What’s not to believe?” the other muffled voice, feminine and as fizzy as cola, giggled. “It’s just an average Monday for me!”
“So, does that mean you learned a lesson?” He cleared his throat. “Hey, Twilight, I’m home – and I brought Pinkie Pie.”
“Who be dat?” Lucian asked. “Also, when did I start speaking Ebonics?”
Twilight looked over her shoulder, at the door to the main room. “That would be Spike, my assistant. And he appears to have brought Pinkie Pie, another one of my friends.”
“Spike? He some kinda pet?”
“He’s a dragon.”
Lucian blinked. “Dragon? You mean, a dragon-type Pokemon?”
“Dragon-type?” Twilight mouthed.
“Twilight?” Spike called out. “Are you here, or are you still out in the swamp?”
A pause.
“Yeah, I’m in here,” Twilight called back.
“What are you doing in there?” Pinkie asked, also yelling.
“So,” Lucian muttered, “there’s Pokemon here too? Damn, it’ll be like Planet of the Aipoms, then? Maybe I’m in the future? If so, I better find a hot mute babe and then find the Statue of Liberty.”
He snickered to himself, extending his legs out. Then he put his palms on the ground. In a swift motion, he managed to stand up, only to stumbled back onto the ground. His back hit the wall, and he found himself just sitting there.
“You okay?” Twilight asked.
“Why would I join ’em when I beat ’em?” he muttered. “My will is alexipharmic to the poison of loss and failure.”
“What are you muttering about?” Twilight asked.
The door to the back room swung up in, and a pink pony with an even pinker curly tail and mane bounced in. “Hiya, Twilight!” she exclaimed, sliding to a halt next to Twilight., Her eyes locked to Lucian. “Ooh, Twilight! What’s this?” She jabbed Twilight with a hoof. “Did you commit a crime? Did you kidnap it? ’Cause you know, I’d be on your side in the court case. Actually, it doesn’t look too alive.”
“Did anyone ever tell ya you were clever?” Lucian asked dryly.
The mare gasped. “It’s alive! Twilight, are you a necromancer?”
“'Cause they’re lying,” he finished. “You’re not clever.”
Pinkie bolted up next to him. “Ooh! And you speak! Are you some kinda demon that Twilight threw together using the severed limbs of shaved monkeys?”
“God, this sucks. Bet it could suck the chrome of doorknobs,” he hissed.
“Hey, Twilight,” a little dragon said calmly, walking into the room and holding a newspaper in his hands. “Hmm, stock prices on apples are up... and I have no idea what the means.” He looked up. “Hey, Twilight, what are stocks? They like socks?” He eyes fell upon Lucian, and he sighed. “Twilight, why did you shave an orangutan? I understand the time you accidentally did that at the Canterlot Zoo – which is why we’re still on their ‘Do Not Let In’ list – but now? And why did you make him wear a silly outfit? Pinkie, is this you’re doing?”
“No,” Pinkie chirped. “Honestly, it’s not me. All Twilight, I swear.”
“What’s an orangutan?” Lucian asked, and Spike froze.
“The monkey just talked.” He gave Twilight a blank look. “Put it back where you found it, and let us never speak of this again, hmm? Or else it’ll end up just like last time you brought a strange animal home, when the parasprites ate the whole town.”
“But only Nixon goes to China,” the trainer countered, then slumped again. “Wharrgarbl.”
Spike sighed, folding the paper under his arm. “Yep, it’s another weird animal.”
“Boy, you kickin’ me while I’m down? Boy, I break yo leg.” He licked his lips. “And now I appear to be a Black rapper from the West. Fantastic.”
“My point stands,” Spike defended.
Twilight glanced between the trainer and Spike. She opened her mouth to speak, but Lucian cut her off.
“Yeah, get this motha’ off stage. God, where’s Kanye when you need him?” He facepalmed. “Yea verily, I’m married to the game, but she broke her vows.”
Pinkie gasped. “That's it! Thanks, monkey thing! You just helped me solve a problem!” She bounced once, then dashed out of the room. There came the sound of the door thrust ajar, then slammed shut.
“What just happened?” Twilight asked, her expression blank.
Spike shrugged. “She was having a problem, now she’s solved it. It was one of the random things that was of message-to-Celestia quality. So, my guess? She’s off to write a Friendship Report. Give her a moment to be back.” He looked over his shoulder. “Any second now.”
A door burst open, then just as quickly was made closed as a pink blur galloped into the back room.
“Hiya, Spike! I learned a moral lesson!” Pinkie chimed, holding out a sealed scroll to Spike. “Mind sending it to the Princess?”
“Sure thing,” Spike happily replied, taking the scroll. “What’s it about, if you don't mind me asking. Anything fancy?”
“Nah, just all about the important life lesson I learned today, of course.”
“Rather simple, huh?”
“You betcha!”
The dragon inhaled, and then he puffed. Out of his maw came a rush of emerald-green flames, whose tendrils ensnared the scroll and devoured it whole. Within seconds, nothing remained, not even ash. Spike smiled at his handiwork.
“There, the letter’s sent,” Spike said.
“Thanks, Spike! Oh, and I also mentioned to Princess Celestia that weird monkey thing, since it helped me solve the problem I had.”
“Ah ain’t no monkey,” Lucian spat. “Ah be some kinda Southern planter aristocrat with a minor hint of Ebonics. God, I need to get my accent straight.” He blinked. “Wait – what’s a Princess Celestia?”
“She’s the all-powerful controller of the sun and ruler of our nation,” Pinkie divulged with a smile.
“And you just told her all about me?”
“Yep.”
Lucian put his face in his hands. “I am so going to be executed, just like how it is in all the sci-fi shows.”
***
“And so that’s that,” Spike said, reading the letter. “Hmm. This seems rather sudden.”
Twilight gave Spike a blank gaze. “Princess Luna is... coming here?”
Spike waved the letter at Twilight. “That’s what the letter read. Odd that I got a letter back, usually that doesn’t ever happen.”
“The Princess? Here?” Twilight stammered. “B-b-but this is so sudden!”
“I think it’s neat!” Pinkie exclaimed bouncing in place. “Splendid, even!”
“Hey, Twilight,” Spike said.
She didn’t reply.
“Twi-light.”
“Hmm? Oh, what?” Twilight replied.
“What’s with the bandages?”
She looked down at her left foreleg, which had a part of it wrapped with mud-stained cloth bandages . “O-oh, that?”
“Yeah?”
Twilight smiled at Spike. “I hurt it while I was out there, that was when Lucian – the monkey thing – found me and helped me get back here.”
Lucian muttered something, and Twilight thought it was “Did you just lie for me?” However, she was unsure.
She focused back on the problem at hoof. “Wait. We still really need to get ready for the Princess!”
Rolling his eyes, Spike waved the letter again. “Princess Celestia specifically told you not to get specially ready, since Princess Luna will be here within minutes of writing, and she doesn’t want to stress you out.”
Twilight froze. “That’s fast.”
“I know.”
“No, no, no, Spike. That’s faster than it should be.” She paused to think. “Luna’s rushing here. Why would she do that?” She cocked a brow, then looked at the bouncing Pinkie Pie. “How much did you mention about Lucian?”
“Oh, him?” she giggled. Then with a smile on her face: “Just an complete evaluation of what he looked like!”
“Huh,” Twilight mouthed. She looked to Lucian, then looked back to Pinkie. “Do you suppose he has something to do with it all.”
“Twilight!” Pinkie commanded. “Don’t call the monkey a he or she, call it an it. If you don’t, you’ll end up getting attached to it, which is why you shouldn’t give it a name.”
Twilight expected Lucian to speak, but when he didn’t she instead said, “He is a sentient being, you know.”
Pinkie waved her hoof. “That doesn’t matter. You’ll have to release him back into the wild, where it can be with its own kind! I know it’s true – I saw it in a movie once!” A dark looked crossed her face as he looked away. “Or worse, it’ll catch rabies and...” She sniffled. “And you’ll have to put him down!”
She shook her head. “Pinkie, you’re looking at this the wrong way. He’s not my pet, just a body willing to help me.”
“I’m kinda on Twi’s side here, Pinkie,” Spike commented, rubbing the back of his head.
“But movies can’t lie!” Pinkie insisted, gritting her teeth. “That’s, like, illegal or something, right?”
Twilight scoffed. “Oh, please. Those nickelodeons will never go anywhere, they’re just a passing phase. I give them a year or so before they fade away.”
“This isn’t about anypony’s favorite media outlet! This is about life or death of Ole Ye– I mean, Lucian!”
Sighing, Twilight shook her head. “Pinkie, there’s a time and a place for that sort of silliness, but it’s not that day.”
“But Twilight,” Pinkie whined. “Look at him? I mean, look at it. The reason it’s sad is because it can be with its own kind!”
“You don’t know that.”
“Maybe it’d like a banana,” Spike suggested, shrugging.
“He’s not a monkey,” Twilight snapped. Then she mumbled under her breath, “Monkeys don’t speak, for one thing.”
“What was last part again?” he asked.
Twilight blinked. “Hmm? Oh, nothing.”
Pinkie frowned. “Twilight, I don’t want it to be sad.”
“Stop calling him it.”
“I told you why I’m doing it, so that I don’t get attached when he catches rabies and everything goes horrible.”
Twilight facehoofed. “Pinkie, no more going to the theaters for you, Missy.”
Pinkie’s ears drooped. “You’re not my mother.”
“And I’m neither your father,” Twilight countered. “Your parentage and my status as either parental figure doesn’t matter here. I can–”
“Twilight,” Spike interjected, “you’re worried, aren’t you?”
“Who? Me?” Twilight chuckled. “I’m not worried.”
Spike cocked a brow.
“In all candor, I can safely say that I’m level-headed right now.”
Pinkie and Spike exchanges glances.
“Honest to Celestia,” Twilight insisted, her eyes shifting back and forth between Spike and Pinkie.
“You buyin’ a word of it, Pinkie?” Spike asked.
“Nope,” Pinkie chirped, her ears perking back up.
Twilight let out a heavy groan. “You guys, I am not–”
A thunderous chorus of wings tore the heaven’s asunder as they rushed into earshot. With every second came a loud roar, soon mixing with the sound of approaching armor. It didn’t take Twilight half a nanosecond to guess who it was.
Then, without any warning, the earth shook and the wings stopped. Time froze for what felt like an eternity as everypony just stood there, their eyes all slowly drifting to the front room and the entranceway door.
Nothing continued to happen.
That’s when a rapping sound came from the door.
Spike and the girls all exchanged glances.
“I’ll go get it,” the dragon hesitantly offered.
Twilight shook her head. “N-no, I’ll go do it.”
Pinkie gave Twilight an oblong look. “Why’s everything suddenly so tense: we know it’s the Princess, so what’s the problem?”
After taking a long, hard breath, Twilight rose a leg, moved it forwards, and settle the hoof down. Her heart hastened its tempo as she took a further step. Yet as Pinkie had pointed out, she didn’t really know what; it just was, and that was that. Somehow she found herself standing at the door, and at that moment the rapping came again, only harder.
She took a step back, counted back from ten, then opened the door.
There, with an honest smile on her face, was the very image of Princess Luna. Her long, slender legs lifted her high up, enough so that she could easily look down at the average stallion, but still she was much shorter than her sister. Her furled wings bristled with drops of moisture, no doubt collected from flying through the low cloud layer that dominated the morning sky. Of course, she was also the impossible to miss horn on her head, ringed by a dark tiara, and fitted against the ethereal background of her star-filled and flowing mane.
Far behind Princess Luna were an inordinate amount of muscular stallions, all of them milling about town, all pretending to look in every direction save for Twilight’s.
“Hello, Twilight!” Luna exclaimed. She moved forwards, grabbing Twilight and wrapping her in a hug. “Oh, it's good to see you again!”
“You too, Luna,” Twilight chuckled, trying not to notice that the myriad of stallions were all watching her.
Releasing Twilight, Luna recomposed herself. “I’m glad to see you again.” Her eyes scanned over Twilight, looking into the room. “Ah, Pinkie Pie and Spike too! Good to see you.”
“You rhymed,” Pinkie giggled, cantering up to the door, Spike riding her back.
The princess scanned the house again. “I am glad to see you all.”
“You already said that,” Pinkie added helpfully.
Luna blinked. “Oh, I did? My apologies, then.” She gestured to Twilight. “May I step in?”
“S-sure,” Twilight replied, stepping away from the door, still trying not to see the many stallions now eyeing her like a hawk.
She stepped into the room, looked over her shoulder, then closed the door. Luna looked to Twilight, opened her mouth, then froze.
“Somethin’ wrong, Luna?” Pinkie prodded.
The princess’s eyes flicked all over the house. “No.”
From the back of the main room came a slight tapping sound. Looking over, Twilight saw that the door to the back room had been closed; she certainly didn’t recall a closing sound when Pinkie and Spike came out.
Luna looked back at Twilight. “Twilight, your leg?”
Twilight looked down at her sullen bandages, then offered a forced chuckle. “Oh, I hurt it while I was out today.”
“How?” Luna asked with a tad bit of force, bordering on a demand.
“Jumping on rocks in a bog does not a safe environment make,” Twilight explained in a blank tone.
Spike and Pinkie exchanged glances, then both shrugged.
“Um, okay,” Luna replied in a weak tone of voice. Something jostled in the back room, and Luna looked in its direction. “What was that?”
“I don’t know,” Twilight replied quickly.
Again, Pinkie and Spike exchanged glances; their looks served as a tacit agreement.
Luna took a step towards the door. “You would not mind if I looked, would you?”
Twilight’s heart tightened. “S-sure, go ahead.”
After giving Twilight a single nod, the princess set off for the door, her glass-slippered hooves making nary a sound on the library’s wooden floors.
Now standing before the door, Luna took a breath. Then the door opened.
A series of rapid peeps escaped the confines of the room, a little phoenix chick staring up at Luna from the floor of the backroom. This sound was followed by a single hoot as respectably sized barn owl landed behind the chick.
“Bwa–huh?” Luna stammered.
“Ugh! There you two are!” Spike snapped, leaping off Pinkie’s back.
“Who?” went the owl.
“Owloysius, don’t talk back to me!”
“Who?”
“No, Jeeves, the butler,” Spike groaned, pressing past Luna. “You told me you two were only going out for an hour, but it’s been, like, three. You made me worry.”
“Who.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “I know, I know, I’m not your mother.”
Princess Luna looked over her shoulder to Twilight, as if to ask, “Are you serious?”
Twilight nodded at Luna. Then she asked, “Princess, what’s with all of the royal guards?”
Luna momentarily froze. “What royal guards?”
“The myriad of stallions standing outside.”
“What would make you think that?”
“Last time I checked, Ponyville didn’t exactly have so many stallions, nor did the boys we do have tend to meander around my library.”
“By Celestia, what is that thing‽” a male voice shouted from outside.
“It’s like some kinda monkey!” another voice replied.
“Naw, it looks like dat freaky ding dat dun battered de castle!”
“It’s the same thing!”
“Nay, this un’s ain’t gotta overcoat, but ‘e has fleshy skin!”
“Would you all just shut up and capture it!” an authoritative voice commanded.
“Sir!” a chorus of stallions replied.
“Luna?” Twilight asked.
“Where is that thing you were keeping?” Luna demanded, her tone icy.
“W-what thing?”
“The monkey-like one.”
Twilight froze. “The backroom.”
Luna turned her head back in the direction of the aforementioned room. Then she stepped in, careful to avoid the phoenix, the owl, and Spike. After only a second’s delay, Twilight trotted up after Luna, entering the room.
The whole room smelt of old paper and dust; the wooden floor was dotted with scratches caused by the movement of various heavy objects over the years before and since Twilight had moved in; the light, which was sparse, entered the room from the doorway now behind behind and the solitary window, who curtain she had drawn open after Lucian had ran in.
“Twilight,” Luna said, “it’s not here, and the window is open.
“Where’d it go‽” a voice yelled from just outside the window.
“I dinnae kent!” another replied.
“I thinks it went that a’way!
“How can something that big just up ’n’ vanish‽”
“Magic?” somepony offered.
“But it don’t got a horn – it can’t do magic!”
“Wait! That way! I think it went that way!”
“After it, boys!” that same authoritative voice commanded.
“Sir!” they all replied.
Twilight felt all the color draining from her face, even before Luna turned to her.
“Twilight,” Princess Luna said, “I think you’ve made a grave mistake in taking this creature in.”
***
Heart pumping, lungs heaving, sweat dripping, and yet he stood completely still in the dark alley. Each jerk of his heart physically jostled his body, and he could feel each droplet of blood shooting through his beleaguered veins.
“Aw, Celestiadammit!” a pony barked. “We lost it again!”
“How‽”
“I! Don’t! Know!”
Lucian swallowed, trying to quench his dry mouth and throat. “Wings,” he muttered, trying to keep his thoughts together. “They’re flying-types, then, right?” He looked down at his waist. “And I don’t have any electric, ice, or rock-type Pokemon.” Lucian sighed, putting a hand over his heart. “Okay, you’ve seen this before – like the morlocks from The Time Machine or the government from Nineteen-Eighty Four, neither of which I ever read. But if I had to guess, this country is ruled by a totalitarian princess, therefore probably has Big Sister, and... Wait, the pink one said ‘splendid’, and not ‘doubleplusgood’, so maybe it isn’t all like nineteen-Eighty-Four. Crap.”
His hand slide down to his waistline, caressing one of his Pokeballs. “Okay, so they can fly. Only one of my Pokemon has an electric move, and it’d be useless against so many.” Lucian’s hand slide to another one. “So I’ll have to fight fire with fire.” He paused. “That’s a stupid phrase – fire does, like, no damage versus fire, but flying suffers no penalty versus flying.” A sly grin danced across his lips. “Skywing, ready to come out and play?”
He removed the ball from his belt, then tapped it. Without delay, the device expanded its size until it fit nicely in his hand. With but a further tap, the tip of the ball opened up, shooting out a beam of white light and emitted that characteristic pwoosh sound. In the storm of drummed-up particles appeared the huge form of Skywing, who barked out his species’ name: “Pidgeot!”
When the initial fanfare of bringing his Pokemon to bear was over, Skywing just stared at Lucian, both of them uncomfortably close in the little alleyway. He looked Skywing over, smiling. “Okay, so we’ve gotta fly outta here, go back to where I arrived, then do the thingy that brought me here, ’kay?”
“I think that flash of light came from over here,” somepony yelled out.
“After it, colts! Come on, Celestia ain’t payin’ us by the hour!”
“We still get health benefits, right?”
“Konski, shut up!”
“Just checking.”
A swarm of guards erupted out of the sky, and they were all looking at Lucian. In a flash of time, Lucian scanned over all of them. “There are exactly seven of them right now,” he said to no one in particular. Then he flashed the sky a smirk. “They’re just mooks.”
“Get it, boys!”
With a flash judgment, Lucian noted that the wings of the guards were short enough to allow them to get into the alley, but too large to allow actual flight within the alley. Skywing, on the other hand, was aerodynamic enough to take off almost vertical from the ground, hitting them with more speed.
“Capture it, quick!” they yelled, storming down from above at him. “Don’t give in an inch, or it’;; do like the last one did only an hour ago!”
Last one. Those words echoed in Lucian’s mind, but he just as quickly put them in the “figure this shit out later” section of his mind. He jabbed a finger towards the ponies, waiting until they there just close enough to the roofs of the alley.
“Now – use Brave Bird!” he shouted.
Skywing shouted his name as he flared his wings outwards. Then his tan plumage began to glow blue, and in a second he was up in the air. Before they could even react, Skywing rammed through three guards, his precise form only clipping two others.
“Yeah, with the speed of Kenyans,” Lucian nickered.
“Get it, lads!” another pony shouted, and a legion of pegasi bolted out of nowhere, each aiming for Skywing.
In a flurry of shouted, squawking, and ferocious buckings, Pidgeot’s body crumpled. With a final kick, the bird plummeted to the earth, landing just before Lucian.
“Well, hold me sideways and call me Sally,” he murmured. “Skywing, return!” A bolt of red shot out of the Pokeball, and Skywing’s body transported into red energy as it was sucked back into the ball.
“Everypony! Where is everypony‽” the ponies were calling from above. “Who’s hit‽ Who’s good‽ We need to regroup!”
“How the hell did they get Skywing so easily?” Lucian mumbled. They’re just a bunch of mooks, they shouldn’t be able to collectively take on just one Pokemon. What gives?”
“We good?” somepony yelled.
“They got Konski!”
“Got‽”
“He’s alive, but busted something awful.”
“Dammit!”
“Well, don’t just hover there – do something!”
Lucian grabbed a pokeball from his belt, a black one with golden highlights, and tossed it out. Within seconds, the bright tendrils of light manifested into a brown exoskeleton-like husk with a rock-gray underbelly. Its body, despite its jagged and short wings not moving, hovered above the ground, then spun so that it gazed at the pegasi, the little half-moon halo over its head not even moving. None of the guards, however, saw the gaping hole in its back, which Lucian had long-ago covered up with black duct tape.
The guards all froze, staring into the hollow backness of the thing’s eyes, and it merely replied with a throaty, “Shedinja.”
“What the...?” one soul muttered.
“Is that an... an exoskeleton?”
“Looks like an empty shell.”
“It’s a corpse! A reanimated corpse!”
They all gasped.
“By the stars above, that thing, our target, it’s a necromancer!”
“But that doesn’t look like any animal I’ve ever seen!”
“What kind of abomination is this bipedal thing‽”
Lucian merely smirked. “Remnant, use Will-o-Wisp!”
“It’s moving!” a guard whinnied.
Another one chorused, “I wasn’t trained to take down dead things!”
Before Shedinja burst into life a ring of tiny balls composed of blue fire. Without wasting even a second, the fireballs catapulted into the air, spreading out like buckshot. The shot impacted the guards with the force of a freight train, forcing them to tumble backwards through the air, and all the while parts of their bodies erupted with flames. As they began to immolate, howls of bloody murder clawed out of their throats.
Lucian rolled his eyes. “Babies – ain’t like a fire-type move will kill you, and this particular one won’t even hurt you; you’re just burning. So what?”
“By the stars! Boys, half-klick east – a pond! Go!”
The soldiers continued shrieking as they stole themselves away.
“Wow, they are mooks. Defeated by a move that doesn’t even do damage,” he whistled, putting his hands in his pocket. “Wonder if Shedinja leveled up from that? Actually, on second thought, if they were crushed so easily, there probably wasn’t any good XP gained.”
“Oi! Up at ’em, lads!” a pegasus shouted as another wing of pegasi flew into a view.
“Aw, I’m a thrice-damned man, ain’t I?” He shook his head. “Remnant, just spam Will-O-Wisp! Attrition’s on our side!”
In a flurry of action, more guards showed up, and more ponies were set ablaze. The gleams of burning pegasi darting across the sky, Lucian thought, could probably be seen from quite a ways away.
“There he is!” a pony shouted from down the alley. Looking down, Lucian saw a throng of grounded ponies blocking that way out of the alley. “Charge!”
“Shedinja, use Protect! Then keep using it!” Lucian ordered, taking his hands out of pockets and backing away from the guards.
A dome-like barrier of cyan light engulfed both Shedinja and Lucian as the guards came galloping from one direction, dive-bombing from another. From above the pegasi hit, only to smack uselessly against it, most bouncing backwards and barking in agony. Seeing their aerial brothers repulsed, the grounded guards twisted around at the last moment; the ones nearest the dome rose their armored hooves and bucked at it.
“You just don’t give up, do you? Hell’s wrong with y’all?” Glancing behind himself, he couldn’t help but note the lack of guards and a free pass over to the next street. Looking back to the attacking ponies, he bit his lip. “We’re not going to be able to keep spamming protect or Will-O-Wisp, are we?”
He reached his hands for his belt, grasping his other four Pokeballs. Glancing over his shoulder, he sighed. As the storm of hooves rained against the protect shield, he paused. Then, releasing the Pokeballs, he reached out and grabbed Remnant.
“Keep using protect as I run, buddy,” Lucian said. “We ain’t got the time to argue.”
In an instant the cyan dome imploded, the walls receding into tiny circles, like the slow motion popping of a bubble but in reverse. At that moment, Lucian’s leg catapulted away, leaving the guards in his dust.
“Now’s our shot!”
Without delay, another flare of cyan burst into life; in a moment, the cyan bubble was about Lucian, but this time it was moving.
“Sheol’s foals!” someone spat.
“Oh, we are so dead! We are so dead! We’re gonna be seein’ five lights when there are only four! Oh, we’re so dead!” Lucian half huffed and half singsonged, his legs a blur.
“Don’t just flutter there, ladies, after ’im!”
“No, no, no, no, no!” the trainer chanted, still in a singsongy tone.
The shadows of the alley left him, only to be replaced by the endless shadows of winged soldiers above. Halfway across the street, he dug his rubber heels into the ground, skidding for half a second on the loose dirt. In a flurry of barely comprehensible action, he released Remnant, then brought his hands to his waist, only to pause and smile at the guards.
With military precision in every action, the soldiers stormed around the cyan shield until they formed a 360º circle around it. The troops in the air imitated their grounded companion, the only difference being how far away they were from the earth.
“You are surrounded!” one of them called.
“Wow, that’s some impressive deductive reasoning skills you’ve got there! But I suppose that’s why you’re just standing there like that and not currently murdering me,” Lucian said, his smile wide and toothy as his hands grasped the Pokeballs again. Looking down at the ground, he muttered, “Grandpa, you might have been the most gangsta badass ever, but I’m afraid my final act in life will by breaking my promise to you.”
He grabbed a ball and tossed it out. “Flower Dance, I choose you! Be ready with a Magic Leaf!”
Within the shield and from the ball exploded out Flower Dancer. She twirled around her little flower dress, and Lucian thought she looked eager to make up for her earlier embarrassment.
“By the stars above, what is that‽” a guard gasped.
Another ball. “Darknight, let’s pick up the pace and prep a thunderbolt at one of the flyin’ guys! And let’s not do anything stupid this time around!”
“Absol,” Darknight growled, his white form emerging from the Pokeball’s light.
The panicked what’s ran out from the guards, followed by a older male voice bellowing, “Shut up! All of you, shut up and focus on the target!”
He flicked out another pokeball. “Jingles, come out and play! On my mark, use Extrasensory!”
The Pokeball’s light gave way to a little floating ball of light blue with a red streak running horizontal its body. Lucian patted the yellow suction-cup-like thing of the top of Jingles’ head, prompting the Pokemon to sway the flat ribbon-like tail hanging beneath the ball’s body. Jingles made her characteristic jingling noise in response.
“And for my last move,” he muttered, grabbing the last Pokeball. “Alright, Mr. Fish, it’s just like old times with the boys back at that one place. In fact, it’s going to have to be like that; you’ll need to reach your fullest potential again and prove to the world you’re a laser fish.” He nodded at Remnant. “On my mark, you need to drop Protect and lash out with Shadow Claw. The rest of you, sames goes, only using your respective moves, we clear?”
They all said their names, which was as close as could be to an actual affirmation.
Tightening his hat, Lucian crouched down to better face his Pokemon. “It’s too crowded in here as is; if I brought out Mr. Fish, we’d all be crushed to death. So when the shield drops, we’re gonna get the ball rolling as I get Mr. Fish out. Once he’s in the open, he’ll use Hyper Beam to ROFLstomp these nubs, then we’ll ride away to safety. Sound good?”
They repeated their earlier statement.
“Bueno,” Lucian chirped, standing back up.
“What the hay is it doing?” someone asked another as Lucian held up three fingers.
“Three,” he said calmly, lowing a finger.
“I dunno. How about you, Thumper?”
“Two.” Another finger went down,and Lucian’s smiled grew even toothier.
“Is it counting?” a pegasus asked, scratching his head.
That same older voice barked, “Who care’s what it’s doing, boys! Just keep it there until–”
“Mark.”
With the explosive roar of a massive subwoofer going off, all of three things happened in tandem: The dome imploded as a hurricane of attacks pushed outwards, slamming into the guards; Lucian thew Mr. Fish’s Pokeball into the action, and the serpentine behemoth, far bigger than any house in town, began to take form; and a shapeless shroud of blackness, sprinkled with what looked like tiny stars, blocked out the sun.
Howling, the land-locked guards were tossed into the air like ragdolls, and the airborne were smacked to the ground by bolts of thunder or otherwise just collapsed from forces unseen. The great beast took his awful form as he rose his head into the air, his face locked with boredom; in an instant he opened his mouth, revealing a spinning and rapidly growing ball of light as it emitted a sound not unlike the roar of a jet engine.
“Laser fish, go!” Lucian shouted with childlike mirth as the beam of energy charged outwards from Mr. Fish’s maw.
At first it hit a two-story house, and the building wall was literally reduced into a mulch-like shrapnel. Then the beam swept about, destroying the entire airborne guard columns. Wasting no time, the beam turned on the ground, digging trenches out of the earth as it sent the ponies hurling into and through the walls of nearby buildings.
Glancing skyward, Lucian saw the shroud. “Hell if I know what it is,” he said, pointing at the sky, “but blast it, Mr. Fish!”
The mass condensed into a more solid-looking cloud as Lucian realized he has grossly overestimated its distance. It wasn’t a massive object off in the distance; it was a very near and constantly shifting object. Yet even before he could finish grasping his sudden realization, the shadowy mass leapt at him
“Well, now that just ain’t fair,” he muttered right before it rammed his chest.
Prepping for an impact, Lucian nearly tripped when the mass didn’t forcibly drive a wedge between himself and his waist. It was, however, spreading its vapor-like contrails into the air, and he got a good inhale of it before he snapped his hands over his nose.
“Oh, shit,” he muttered as he realized that all of her extremities stopped sending him proper feedback, just a hazy mess of tingles mixed with actual feelings. It was like getting laughing gas at the dentist’s office, only much faster to react and carried with it an aura of dread. There was also the matter that it smelled, oddly enough, like fancy shampoos and not like N₂O
Looking around, he witnessed the contrails flowing into everyone’s nose just as he began to lose even more feeling. “Shit,” he hissed, clumsily fumbling about his waist for his Pokeballs. The shadowy mass began to take a quadrpedic shape as Lucian shouted, “Return, all of you!”
In a blurry moment of vague comprehension, he found all of his Pokemon safely back where they belonged. The shadows before him hasted as they began to form a real body.
“Luna, no!” Twilight’s voice yelled out from somewhere behind him.
His knees snapped limp, and he quickly fell onto them as the shadowy mass contorted into a tall and slender pony with a flowing mane that he could see through. She looked down at him, almost judgmental.
Lucian, body shaking, eyelids heavy, and stomach growling, looked up. “My confidence is leavin’ me on my own.” He flashed a smile, trying his best to stay awake.
“What have you to say for yourself?” she growled, baring her teeth.
Groaning beneath his breath, he tried to raise his neck, only to find that he had no control over his neck muscles.
“What say you now, monster?” the slender pony asked, lowering her head to Lucian.
He flashed her a tooth grin, and groaned. “The... Aristocrats...”
The inky tendril of blackness overwhelmed him, and all light vanished from his reality.