Adventures in Gaming: Pathfinder

by Fluorescent Sandstorm

Outside the Tavern

It was a damp, dreary day in the Archcity Tharantonia. The clouds had rolled in that morning, and it had been coming down steady ever since. The streets, normally bustling at this hour, were only a trickle of the busy or careless going about their business. Our story begins at a tavern called the Drunken Morloch, where four strangers had by chance of destiny found their way to that day. A white mare in a brown cloak stood at a table near the door, quietly enjoying a simple meal of leaves and daisies, though to those with keen eyes the bumps under her cloak implied she was not always so quiet. At the bar, a hulking black half destrier was in a low muttering conversation with a bartender, one neither party seemed to be enjoying. A half-faun at another table was staring dully at the window, obviously waiting for the rain to let up so she could leave this dreadful establishment. And finally, a purple mare dressed in dull but well cleaned armor strode in through the doors. She glanced around at the patrons thoughtfully. The two at the bar spared her a glance before going back to their conversation, the half faun didn’t even spare that, but the hooded pony gave her a brief smile of welcome before returning to her meal. The purple warrior began to move towards the other. “Hello. My name is Dauntless Tr-“

“THEIVES, THEIVES HE- what? “

“…girls? What?”

“Your voice darling… it… well never mind, just continue.” Rarity said with a shrug that mirrored itself on the others, impressions far from the strangest talent Pinkie had.

“Right, then, so as I was saying…”

“Thieves, help- gah!”

A loud crash echoed outside, the words preceded them cut off with a painful yelp. All within bar glanced up warily, before Dauntless galloped outside, the three other patrons following in kind.

The scene on the streets left little to the imagination. Broken glass was strewn across the ground, an aging pony amidst them struggling to stand after getting tossed through his own window. Dark chuckles sounded from the three ponies surrounded him, all armed and none looking too concerned about pointing their weapons at the elderly shopkeeper, as a huge destrier covered in tattoos of chains started to step through the shattered window. Dauntless growled, scuffed the ground with her hoof in preparation to charge, and called out “HALT, OR I WILL HIT YOU IN THE FACE WITH BLADED OBJECTS REPEATEDLY!”

“…”

And the world dissolved into laughter

“What? Girls, what?!” Twilight asked as her friends all completely failed at containing their laughs, even Fluttershy covering up a small smile. “Seriously, what’s so funny?!”

Applejack did her best to reply between snorts and chuckles “S-seriously is that you can’t be serious Twilight. T-that was the worst dang battle cry ah have ever heard!”

“What? It conveyed my intent juxtaposed with threatening imagery! That’s exactly what a battle cry’s supposed to be according to ‘Calls to War throughout the Ages’.”

“Maybe if you worded it better, but… as it is… teehee.” Fluttershy tried to add helpfully.

“… Oh never mind, I’ll just use one of the generic ones the book listed.”

… to charge, and called out “HALT VILLAIN!” before dashing into the fray

“Ok everypony, roll initiative!” five twenty siders hit the table.

“Con’sarnit. Three.” Grumbled AJ

“Not the quickest draw in the west there I see miss Paladin.” Rarity commented with a giggle “eleven for me”

“Twenty two” Fluttershy continued quietly.

“And seventeen for me” Twilight finished.

“Ok and the baddies got a fifteen, so you’re first Fluttershy! Yay!”

“Ok, well… I delay until after the thugs go.”

“Oh, alright then, that means you’re up Twilight! Or should I say, Dauntless!”

“Right well then I…”

The thieves were taken off guard as the fighter pony crashed into one of them, one of her battlespurs smashing into the closest one’s side and tearing a wound through his simple armor. The huge Destrier in the window blinked before disappearing back into the shop. The four outside all growled and charged the insolent fighter, but she dodged most of their clumsy strikes with the trained ease of a warrior, those that she didn’t dodge bounding off her armor. So focused were they on Dauntless, that it took a moment to realize that soon after they struck, their numbers had gone from four to three, The half destrier from the bar spat a mouthful of blood out from the vicious bite-mark his tusks had taken out of the neck of a thug, glaring daggers at the group as he stepped over the groaning pony. Things were not going their way, and it suddenly got much, much worse as a plume of fire exploded in the mist of all of them-

“Fireball?! Rarity, that’s a third level spell, how the heck would you be casting it at first level?!” Twilight sputtered with a blink.

“But… well at the front of the book it said something about bonus spells, and I had a high enough charisma score…”

“Oh dear... Twilight, you didn’t explain that to her?” Fluttershy asked worriedly.

“…no. I kind of told her to read it but…”

“Ah… well, Rarity, those are just bonus spells you get once you’re a high enough level sorcerer to casts spells of that level in the first place. Sorry…”

“Ah. I see.” Rarity said with a frown before she glanced down at her sheet. “Well then, what does that leave me… Very well, taste the awesome might of my undodgeable magic missile attack! Heeyah!” she yelped, rolling a four-sided which cheerily landed on a one. “…Two damage."

“Right, he’s not down” Pinkie giggled. “Next up is resplendent Resplendent.”

“Alright, ah charge at the one miss magic over here poked, and head-butt ‘im with mah rammin helm.” She rolled her twenty sided. “So, ah add mah… what now?”

“Strength and base attack bonus” Twilight answered quickly.

“Alright. Thirty.”

“Umm. I don’t think you can get that high at level one” Pinkie snickered.

“What? Ah got a seventeen strength and a base bonus thing of one, and ah rolled a twelve.”

“No, no, strength bonus silly, not score. How is that not obvious?” Twilight reprimanded, earning her a soon to be patented AJ-flat-stare

“Ah dunno, maybe because ah haven’t played before, or owned the books fer ten years? Anyway, fifteen then.”
“Neato, you still hit, roll your damage!”

The hood came off of the white pony as she charged the thieves as well, her bright yellow and gold armor shining slightly even in the dull gray afternoon as she smashed into the side of the bandit the half faun had struck with her spell, sending the poor bastard flying to the ground in a crumpled heap. Dauntless smashed a battlespur and then another into her foe, sending him to the ground as well. The final thug gulped, looked around… and dashed down the streak, jumping over Dauntless’s leg as she tried to slash him with a spur and ducking under the white pony as she tried to cut him off. The half destrier calmly reached into his armor with his tail and pulled a rusty dagger out, spinning around and launching it at the thug, the blade landing in his back with a wet thud. He stumbled, tried to keep moving, but suddenly went sprawled to the ground as a missile of pure force smacked into the back of his head. “Haha! Such is the might of the magical Fabulous!” the half faun said with a demure giggle. The white pony rolled her eyes before moving to help the old shopkeeper to his feet. “Hello sir I…“

“…What? If Pinkie can do a voice, ah can too” AJ said, shrugging uncomfortably as Rarity gawked from across the table

“That’s fine of course but… since when do you of all people have such an eloquent Manehatten accent under you hat?” Rarity asked with a blink.

“Since forever ah’ll have you know. Ah had to use one when ah was a filly back with aunt ‘n uncle orange. Silly thing, but ah check on it every once in a while tah make sure ah can still do it, not one tah waste a skill if ah dun have to, and it fits Resplendent more than mah southern drawl. Now can we play?”

“Yes, yes of course, by all means continue. Showing up has been worth it simply to here you sound so un… uncouth”

“…uh huh. Right. Anyway, as ah was sayin….”

“I am Resplendent, servant of the goddess Sarenrae. Are you alright?”

The old pony accepted the help gratefully, stumbling to his feet. “I be fine I be fine, but me shop! They were in me shop!” He whined as he stumbled towards the door. “I make looks for half the bloody district. Who knows what the- Ah no, but why?!” The pony fell to his knees as he which case was broken, staring forlornly at an empty cushion.

“Was that an important key sir?” as Dauntless as she strode in the shop. The half faun and half destrier followed, the former casting the old man a sympathetic glance and the latter… pocketing one of the keys, grinning slightly as no one noticed despite the half faun standing right beside her…

“Wow heehee. Nice roll ‘Shy. And you all need to add some points to perception it looks like. You get the key just fine.”

“Again, statistically impressive Rarity. You actually got a negative.” Twilight commented with a snicker

“Where’d you put that there three again Rares?” AJ asked with a grin.

“…wisdom.”

“All looks ‘n no common sense huh? Guess Fabulous don’t fall far from the tree-“

“Oh shut up. Continue if you would Pinkie” Rarity said with a glower, the rest of the group giggling before they continued.

“Important?! Buck what I said before missy, it was the only important one, to me at least. It’s been in me family for generations! I was gonna give it to me grandson for his birthday this year… Please, all of ye, ye have tah help me. I’ll pay ye for it, just help me get that key back!”

“How much?” asked the rogue at the same time Resplendent said “I would be happy to help even without the reward.”

“Then I’ll take her share.” The rogue quickly amended, staring flatly at the shopkeeper “So again, how much?"

“Ahm, well…” he rubbed his hooves together fretfully, desperate but a bit put off by the half destrier’s frankness. “… a hundred gold a share? I can make that up in a month most likely…”

“Fine. C’mon folks” the rogue growled with a grin “Shouldn’t be too hard to find a full destrier covered in tattoos, even in this city.” The other three glanced at each other before Resplendent called after him

“And why, pray tell, should we follow you?”

“Because unlike you prissy pants, I know this city’s underworld, that’s more gold then I’ve seen in a month, and that punk pulled this stunt on my turf. And no one does that without getting a new scar or two. Names Rusted Razor, now stop gawking and let’s go get my paycheck.”

“Wow, that was actually kind of badass Fluttershy” Pinkie said with a giggle. The pegasus smiled shyly at the comment as Pinkie continued. “So, how you guys want to go about trying to find Mr. Meanie pants in-*groooowwllmble*” She stopped dead as the telltale signs of an empty stomach sounded from within her, glancing around at the others in the stillness that followed before they all burst out into laughter. Eventually she calmed down enough to say “O-okay, how ‘bout first we do dinner things and then you guys can find Mr. Meanie pants.”

“Okay. If I could suggest, there’s a new place down the street a bit that sells pizza. I think I have a menu somewhere...” Twilight said, searching a drawer and finding it with the relative ease of one whose silverware was organized alphabetically.

“Ooh, pizza. It’s quite big in Canterlot now you know ever since the Prancien ambassador served some to the princesses last month. I wasn’t aware the trend had already reached Ponyville. Well, what shall we put on it? And no Applejack, I am not eating apples on my pizza.”

AJ’s mouth shut itself before making a noise, before she tried again. “Alright, how ‘bout peaches then?”

“I’d like to avoid fruit, umm, if that’s alright. I like onions though.” Fluttershy said with an apologetic smile”

“Sorry, no onions, it would throw off my roots to leaf based vegetables ratio this week” Twilight said with a shake of her head.

“How about… GUMDROPS!?”

“No Pinkie” the other four all said simultaneously.

Applejack had a notepad out at this point. “Ok. So. We need one large stuff crust with one quarter onions chopped horizontally an’ three quarters tomatoes and apples skinned and then bananas on the northeastern third, an’ a medium flatbread with peppers an’ bananas drizzled with caramel. Is that… right?” she asked glancing up at the other four. They all looked at each other, trying to figure out where exactly they went wrong.

“…I could always just make us rose and daisy sandwiches” Twilight offered warily. The others all breathed a sigh of relief save for Pinkie, who sighed in dismay on a missed chance at a tasteventure. She brightened after Twilight put her finished sandwich in front of her and she took her first bite

“Mmm, frosting and pickles! thanks for remembering Twilight!”