“Be not afraid of greatness, but rather increase your coolness by a full fifth.” — William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, II, v.
Continued from part one...
Rather than heading back to the library, Twilight took a different street into town. “Where are we going now?” I asked as the curious ponies began to pop out and stare at me again. There were more of them than before, and just feeling their gazes made my skin itch.
“If we hurry to the spa, we can meet up with two more of my friends before they leave.” Twilight kept trotting along as if the onlookers didn't exist. Was it even possible that she wasn't seeing them? Or was she just choosing to ignore them all?
The spa in question was a big white building with a purple roof. The hanging wooden sign had a white mare with a flowing golden mane next to some flowers and a horseshoe. Before we'd even reached the front door, it opened and two ponies stepped out.
The first was a majestic white unicorn with a curly purple tail and mane. Every strand of hair was arranged perfectly in elegant swirls and her long eyelashes glinted black in the sunlight. Despite her obviously well-groomed appearance, graceful stride, and the distinguished way she proudly held her head up, her most beautiful feature was her eyes. Her bight azure eyes were soft and soothing, and there was a spark of life in them that was both familiar and alien at once. I usually just groan and roll my eyes whenever a book describes a particularly beautiful woman (or handsome man when it has a female lead character) with bullshit like this, but that's what went through my head at that particular moment.
Behind Rarity (I already knew all their names, so why don't I just start saying who they are when they show up from now on? It's not like it's some kind of important secret.) came Fluttershy, who was slowly and nervously making her way outside. Every one of her footsteps was carefully made, as if the ground might crack open if she put any kind of force on it. Her mane and tail seemed to weightlessly hang in the air; their wispy curls looked far too delicate to risk contact with anything. Her wings looked just as fragile and she kept them bent tight against her body.
Rarity was telling the yellow pegasus something about the latest important dress that she was making for a distinguished mare from Canterlot when they noticed me. Rarity's eyes went wide (that seemed to be a common response), her mouth hung open in surprise (also common), and she abruptly tripped over her own hoof and sprawled in the dirt (less common).
The unicorn quickly stood up again, muttered in disgust at her slightly-dirty state, and frantically made her horn glow with a faint blue light. A sudden magical breeze blew the dust off of her coat and right into Fluttershy's face, which caused her to have a brief sneezing fit. Each sneeze was a tiny squeak that was barely audible.
Her coat once again spotless and white, Rarity put on a big smile and strode forward toward me and Twilight while Fluttershy tried to hide behind a nearby bush that was about half her size. “So, everything that Aloe and Lotus heard was true,” Rarity's airy Mid-Atlantic accent rang out. “Although I must say that you look far more dashing than their tale led me to believe.”
I took a quick look at myself. My t-shirt had a few ragged holes in the sleeves, my pants were fairly worn out and faded, and my bare feet were covered in dirt. “I appreciate the compliment, but I think 'dashing' might be too strong of a word,” I said. I look like a hobo, for Christ's sake, my mind added.
Rarity giggled just a bit too much at that. “Perhaps, but it seems that you do have manners, and that counts for something. And speaking of manners, where are mine?” She brought a forehoof dramatically to her chest and batted her eyelashes. “I am Rarity, Ponyville's premier seamstress and dressmaker.”
“My name's Jesse, and I...well, I'm not entirely sure what I'll be doing from now on. But it's nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure is mine, and Fluttershy's too, I'm sure.” Rarity's horn glowed again and the bush was shunted aside, revealing the other half of the terrified pegasus, who squeaked and pressed herself against the ground in a trembling heap. Her eyes were also blue, and they glistened with doe-like moisture as she peered at me over her hooves.
I knew that I had to do something to stop her from panicking before she ran away. “Hi, there,” I said in the friendliest voice that I could manage and gave a little wave.
Fluttershy squeaked again and somehow compressed herself into an even smaller size. So much for that idea, I thought.
“Come on, Fluttershy,” Twilight trotted up and prodded her into a standing position. “Aren't you going to introduce yourself?”
“Ummm...hi...I'm...I'm Fluttershy...” her voice trailed off uncertainly to another squeak and she gave me an apologetic look before dropping her gaze back to the ground. I'm usually not a big fan of cute things, but she was just fucking adorable. And kind of pathetic.
“You simply must excuse her, Jesse,” Rarity spoke again. “She's very timid around strangers.”
“I understand,” I assured them.
“Maybe we should finish up the introductions somewhere a little more private,” Twilight inclined her head in the general direction of a few of the spectating ponies who were still watching us. Most of them weren't even trying to be subtle about it and were either standing or floating in plain sight. Am I going to have to deal with this whenever I go outside? I asked myself.
In a few minutes—during which Twilight yet again described how her spell had gone wrong and brought me here—the four of us were outside the library tree again. We quickly ducked inside to leave the spying ponies behind and shut the door.
The inside of the library was completely dark, which was strange because there was still an hour or so of daylight left. Before any of us could comment on this or open a window, the lights all came on at once and a blizzard of multicolored confetti shot out from all directions. The entire main room was decked out with balloons, streamers, and a banner that said “Welcome, New Pony!" with the last word crossed out and "Whatever You Are!” clumsily written underneath.
“SURPRIIIIIISE!!!” shouted a maniacally smiling Pinkie Pie, who grabbed me roughly by the neck and shoved me across the room to a table that was dominated by an enormous cake and bowls of colorful candy. I grunted as the corner of the table dug into my spleen.
Pinkie didn't seem to notice my pain. Instead, she was bouncing around and talking really fast. “Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? I bet you were everypony's always surprised when I throw a surprrise party. I always throw a surprise party when there's a new pony in town. You're not really a pony but I bet you were still surprised. Do you like it? Do you? I had to change the banner a bit but you don't mind do you? You look really weird did you know that? Have some cake before it's gone and try the punch—”
“Pinkie!” Twilight shouted as the hyperactive pony tried to shove a glass of fruit punch down my throat. The rest of the ponies—Applejack and Rainbow Dash were already there for some reason—and Spike were all staring at her in shock.
“Yes?” Pinkie turned to beam at Twilight and let go of me. My knees gave out from the unexpected release and I slumped to the floor.
“I...you...what are you...” Twilight sputtered, utterly perplexed at her friend's behavior. Pinkie still had that absent-minded smile stretched across her face, completely unfazed by her friend's objection.
Rarity stepped forward and stared hard at Pinkie. “I believe what Twilight is trying to say is that this is not at all how you should treat a guest. Haven't you ever heard of personal space?”
“You okay there, sugar cube?” Applejack asked me, a note of concern coloring her voice.
“Yeah,” I stood up and rubbed at where the table had stabbed me. “I'm fine, and you did surprise me.”
Pinkie giggled and bounced up and down a few times. “I just knew that you'd like it,” she said at a much more reasonable speed than before. “Everypony loves my surprise parties!”
Before anypony could say anything to that, my vision was suddenly obstructed by something wet and pink that slammed into my head and clamped down on my face.
My first thought: Kinky.
My second thought, which I also calmly and collectedly said aloud: “JESUS CHRIST GET IT OFF! GET THIS FUCKING THING OFF ME! I'VE SEEN THIS MOVIE AND I DON'T WANNA DIE LIKE THIS!”
I frantically and blindly pulled at my attacker, and after a few moments of struggling it slipped right off. I gasped for breath and glared at the creature in my hand. Instead of the spidery facehugger from Aliens that I had been expecting, it was a bright green alligator that smiled toothlessly and snipped playfully at the air.
“Aww, Gummy likes you,” Pinkie crooned as she picked her pet out of my grip and cradled him in her hooves. Gummy responded by gnawing the hell out of her ear. The others exchanged glances while I wiped the saliva off my face.
After that excitement, the rest of the party was fun but fairly uneventful. There was food (Pinkie Pie covered everything that she ate with hot sauce), music from an old record player (Rainbow Dash tried to show off her breakdancing skillz, but gave up after a headspin sent her crashing right into a bookcase), games (Fluttershy managed to win every time at Pin the Tail on the Pony), and plenty of time to talk.
I surprised myself by opening up and telling stories about my life on Earth, which they were very eager to hear. They especially liked hearing how I had been left behind during a third grade field trip and stranded at a zoo almost a hundred miles away from home for several hours (true story). Spike laughed the loudest and subtly mentioned to Rarity that he would certainly keep his head and not be scared at all if the same thing were to happen to him.
At last, the party ended and the five non-Twilight ponies left to go home. The sun had been down for almost three hours and the moon and the stars were shining brightly in the inky sky. Spike was snoring in the empty punch bowl, and with a quick spell Twilight gathered all of the party decorations and scattered confetti into a pile in the corner.
Twilight sighed happily and yawned. “Pinkie always throws the best parties, but they do tend to wear a pony out. Why don't you head upstairs and get some sleep? I'll be up after I write a quick letter to Princess Celestia. I'm sure that she'll be very interested to hear all about you.”
“Sounds good to me,” I replied tiredly. Despite all the sugary food, my eyelids were beginning to feel pretty heavy.
I stepped up the stairs to the library's second level. Just enough moonlight was streaming through the windows to illuminate the extra bookcases that lined the walls. I wouldn't have noticed the large brown horned owl that was settled on a wooden perch if he hadn't spun his head around to look at me.
“Who?” the bird called.
“Me,” I replied simply. What was his name again? Owlolishious? Owlicious? Something like that. Whenever his name was mentioned in that particular episode, I imagined him being toasted to a crispy golden brown and eaten by a beer-bellied redneck who shouts “Dayum, this sure is one owlicious thang!” Yeah, my head's not always filled with happy thoughts.
“Who,” the owl turned his head back around dismissively.
Before I got into the bed that Spike had set up for me—How did he even manage to get it here? I asked myself—I took a short detour and stepped out onto the balcony. The night air was crisp and clear with a gentle breeze that made the tree's leaves rustle softly. I looked around, but if there were any more ponies trying to get a look at me, they had figured out how to hide themselves and were doing a damn good job of it.
I yawned and gazed at the stars. Rainbow Dash had managed to clear the clouds from the sky at some point, so I could see Orion, the Big and Little Dippers, and what looked like part of Sagittarius near the horizon. It's kinda odd that they have the exact same constellations that we do on Earth, I mused, half asleep. What are the odds of that? Is this a different planet or another dimension altogether?
“Enjoying the night?” I sat bolt upright at the soft, unfamiliar voice and whipped my head around to see where it had come from, my fatigue completely forgotten for the moment. When I saw who was sitting on the balcony's railing, my heart decided that it wanted to commit suicide and tried to force its way out through my throat.
The speaker was slightly bigger than the other ponies had been, and she had both a horn and wings. Her coat was a dark purple color with a darker spot on her haunches, and her mane was a light blue that shone brightly in the moonlight. A black tiara and chestpiece also caught the light with glossy reflections, as did the polished silver shoes that capped her hooves. Her teal eyes were full of curiosity and her lips were perked up in a playful smile.
Even through my shock, I knew that I should answer her question. I quickly swallowed and composed myself. “Yes, I am. You must be Princess Luna.”
Luna's smile grew. “And you must be the human that my sister's letter mentioned. Jestin, is it?”
“Jesse,” I corrected. That's a fast response to a note.
“Well, Jesse, I hope that you will forgive me for startling you. I'm sure that you've had your fill of questions and onlookers today, but the note that Tia received spoke most highly of you and I must admit that I allowed my curiosity to get the better of me.” Her smile became more apologetic. “I suppose it's not much of an excuse, but I wished to take the opportunity to make your acquaintance and welcome you to Equestria.”
“Well, uh, thank you. It's a very nice place.” I was tired again and couldn't think of what else to say.
The Princess leaned forward slightly. “So what brings you to our land anyway? We've never had a visitor from this 'Earth' place before, and the letter didn't say anything.”
“Well, to tell the truth, I'm here by complete accident. You see, Twilight Sparkle made a mistake when she was practicing a new spell, and it brought me here. Not that I'm complaining, mind you,” I amended myself quickly.
She cocked her head to the side. “Well, I hope that you find things here to your liking. I'll be sure take special care when making the night for as long as you are here.”
That was a little unexpected. “Well, it's absolutely beautiful already. I've always liked nighttime, especially around this time of year.” You're supposed to be polite when dealing with royalty.
Luna nodded in appreciation and spread her wings. She flapped them a few times until she was hovering just beyond the balcony. “I'm afraid I can't stay and talk longer—somepony's got to keep the moon moving along.” She paused and looked thoughtful for a moment. “There's going to be a festival in Canterlot to celebrate the beginning of fall next week. Consider yourself invited, as well as any friends that you want to bring along. We'll see more of each other then.”
With a wink, she flew off. I blinked a few times in surprise at the tone of her last sentence. Did she just hit on me? I wondered as she faded quickly into the black night. No, I must've imagined it. I really need to get some sleep.
I wandered back inside and noticed that Twilight had brought Spike to his basket and fallen asleep herself. Spike had set it up so that my bed was across the room from Twilight's with his in the middle. Guess he doesn't trust me, I thought as I pulled off my shirt and dropped it next to the headboard. But that's understandable. Hell, I wouldn't trust me either.
A few seconds later, I was fast asleep as well.
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Author's note: I realize that there wasn't a whole lot that happened in this part. I promise that the future chapters will be a bit more animated.
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