Chapter 62
I never felt any pain.
Dying was the simplest and most easy thing I could have ever imagined. All it took was a simple action. Jumping off of a building, driving in front of the tracks, making something angry. It was so hideously simple.
I drifted.
There’s really nothing to death. There’s no real sensation, except for the feeling of being upside-down underwater. It’s pleasing. The only real downside to death was the memories. With no real sensation, you were free to experience memory perfectly- like you were actually there. Smells were sharper, vision crisp, and sounds were clear. I remembered everything perfectly.
“Come in” the voice said, I pushed open the beautiful wooden door to see a dark blue mare lying on a rug in the middle of the room, with an open book in front of her. She turned to look at me, and her mouth dropped open so quickly, but she covered her emotion quickly “And you might be?” She asked, already knowing the answer.
“I- Uh, Edwin.”
My mind switched to a different memory
Luna was standing in the middle of a moon crater, with the Doctor standing near the two of us. She was sad, with a single tear in her eye.
“It has been ten long, cold years on this rock. Every time that I see the Doctor here, I beg and plead with him to take me back. He has sworn an oath never to interfere with the native populace, except in time of great duress. I only wish that he would make an exception...” Luna trailed off again, sadly contemplating her wrongs. I grinned, and looked her right in the eyes.
“The Doctor may do things his own way, Luna. But, he has never told me, not a single time, that taking souvenirs is not allowed. And I have happened to have found myself the prettiest little moon rock.” I said knowingly. Luna looked up at me, her eyes wide.
I thought about that memory for a little bit. That’s what started the relationship between Luna and I. Well, not really. It depends on where you were on the timeline. But I wasn’t anywhere on the timeline now. The finality of it consumed me, racing through my mind. I was dead. I was nowhere. I wasn’t in Equestria. I wasn’t on Earth.
I didn’t have to worry about the Angelics anymore. It took me a while to figure that one out. I didn’t have to worry about Slim, Spitfire, anything like that. It took me a moment to think about that one.
The one that really hit home was that I would never see anything else ever again. The Doctor, Luna, Princess Celestia, Antony, Asperx, Othello, Evangeline, Marcus, Twilight, Lieutenant Dash, all of them. None of them would ever see me again. I couldn’t handle that one and went crazy for a while.
The blackness was absolute. There was nothing. Nothing at all.
I was finally dead. After fighting it so long, I was dead. Completely and utterly stone-cold dead. All of my attempts to stay alive and fight the good fight were meaningless now. I was undeniably dead.
Once and for all.
finally.