"But mom!" Twilight whined as her mother yanked the armor from her form. Velvet had transported the two of them back to the library and was now working to de-nightmare the struggling lavender unicorn. "I need to destroy Hearth's Warming Day!"
"You can do whatever you want, Twilight, but no adopted daughter of mine is going to wear gaudy armor like this."
"But without the armor, how will ponies know-wait, what?"
"Hmmm?"
"What did you just say?"
"No daughter of mine is going to wear her real mother's gaudy armor."
"Ah." Twilight blinked, but before she could consider what her 'mother' had said, Velvet was already pulling off her helmet and scrubbing Twilight's face with a wash cloth. "Mom, stop it!" Twilight squirmed like a foal as her mother wiped away the black eyeliner Twilight had put on to make her eyes more dynamic (and the lipstick because... well... Twilight likes lipstick).
"Look at how dirty you got, skulking around like a common criminal! We are unicorns, Twilight... we hire ponies to commit crimes for us." Velvet clicked her tongue in annoyance. "If you grandfather could see you he'd be rolling in his grave."
"Grandpa's dead!?!" Twilight whimpered.
"No, he just bought a new grave plot and he liked hanging around it. Kinda creepy."
The lavender unicorn huffed as her mother continued to scrub her face clean. "Mom, I don't need a bath, I need to destroy Hearth's Warming Day."
"And why is that?" Velvet asked politely. "What did Hearth's Warming ever do to you?"
"It did nothing to me... but it did corrupt my friends and turn them into evil monsters." Twilight jabbed a hoof at her mother. "And yes, I realize the irony of saying that while wearing Nightmare Moon's armor but the point remains! Hearth's Warming Day is horrible!"
Velvet sighed. "Twilight, Hearth's Warming is terrible only if you let it be terrible."
The lavender unicorn shook her head violently. "You don't get it mom... Hearth's Warming is so special and wonderful and every pony decided this year to just ruin it with their greedy and pettiness and bickering..."
"Twilight... that is what Hearth's Warming is always like."
"...huh?"
"It is a holiday about family... and families are made of ponies, not dolls. They have flaws and they make mistakes and they bring in baggage... you can't expect with those ingredients to not get the occasional fight or mess or shouting match. And even when everypony is behaving there is somepony not having a good time or thinking bitter things or just being a pill."
"But... but..."
Velvet placed a hoof on her daughter's shoulder. "Twilight, nothing is ever perfect in life. Things go south or end up in the crapper but it is up to you to decide if that is where the journey ends or begins. Only you can decide if you want to let the negative drag you down or if you are going to laugh in its face and just soldier on."
"You make it sound so easy!" Twilight complained, crossing her forelegs over her chest and letting out a snort of annoyance.
"Oh, trust me, it isn't." Velvet laughed as she sat down next to her pouting daughter. "Did I ever tell you what happened during your first Hearth's Warming?"
~Many years ago...~
"Mom, can I talk to you?" Twilight Velvet called out.
"Of course, my dear." Twinkle looked around before handing Twilight a dictionary that was lying around. "There you go, have fun with that!"
The foal giggled and began to tear out the pages.
"Mother... sit down."
"What's wrong, dearie?" Twinkle said with a smile, sitting down on the couch. "Velvet my dear, this couch is too lumpy. You could afford a better one if you hadn't married Durwood over there."
"My name is Night Light, Twinkle!" Night said in frustration.
"Mother, we aren't going to let you be around the foals anymore."
"And why not?" Twinkle asked.
Velvet glared at her. "All my life you have been nothing but passive aggressive and insulting! You mocked me, my husband, and everything we do. Our jobs, how we raised our son, our house..." Velvet glared at her mother. "That is why we only invite you over on Hearth's Warming."
"My dear, you make too much of this... I am merely being playful!" She gestured towards the trembling white colt that was hiding behind Night Light. "I mean, little Skid Mark knows I love him."
"Shining... Armor," Night Light ground out.
Twinkle groaned. "Such a pathetic name... but of course what else should we expect from a pathetic stallion like you."
Night grabbed a bottle and smashed it on the table, jabbing it at the elderly mare. "I will cut you, bitch! I could cut you and no one would say a word... they would throw me a parade!"
"Who would go to a parade for a ball-less wonder like yourself, Durwood?"
"I'LL KILL YOU!"
~MC~MC~MC~
"I... I can't believe it... I thought Grandma Twinkle was so nice." Twilight gasped. "Wait, so when she says I have a haircut only a dyke would like, she isn't referring to a water retaining structure?"
Velvet nodded. "Yes. You never noticed her evil, cruel remarks because you focused on the good... just like you do with the holidays."
Twilight shook her head. "Alright, so maybe that one holiday was bad, but I can remember plenty of perfect Hearth's Warming."
"Like what... that first part I threw when you were just a filly?"
Spike stumbled inside, looking utterly annoyed. "YOU FORGOT TO TRANSPORT ME TOO! I HAD TO HITCH A RIDE WITH SOME STRANGE PONIES AND GIVE THEM MOUTH HUGS-" However, before he could continue his rant, he heard the harps begin to play. "Oh by Celestia, its happening again!" He looked around in fear. "No, not another fla-"
~Not as many years ago...~
"Shining, could you ask your father to get me the potato peeler?"
"Sure thing, mom!" the little colt said, trotting over to his father. "Dad, mom said she needed toe potato peeler."
"Tell your mother she should just look at the potato... her stare could make anything lose the will to live and shed its skin."
Shining shrugged and trotted over to his mother. "Mom, dad said-"
"Tell your father that I wouldn't have to look like that if he knew how to touch me."
Shining blinked. "Uh, mom said-"
"Tell your mother that I touch her plenty fine and that there are plenty of mares that agree with that statement!"
"Ask your father what he means by that!" Velvet snarled.
"Tell your mother I have been mounting her sister for the last 6 months and it has been amazing!"
Velvet laughed. "HA! Tell your father that he wasn't mounting my sister, that was just me in a wig!"
Meanwhile, Twilight continued to flip through her book. "Well, look has her nose stuck in a book again." Grandma Twinkle snarled sarcastically. "What are you reading?"
"Algebwa!' Twilight said with a laugh. "See, da auth-or dinks that dis e-qua-tion is wight, but he fo'got to cawwt the thwee!"
Twinkle looked down and realized that Twilight was reading one of the Algebra books SHE had written. "You are such a smart one...bitch."
~MC~MC~MC~
"I think my brain is clawing its way out of my skull!" Spike screamed, his forehead throbbing. "Please, no more flashbacks!"
"And don't forget your brother's party last year," Velvet stated.
"NO! My genitals are retracting into my body!" Spike screamed as the harps began to play. "Noooooooooooohhh, why do I have the sudden urge to go shopping?"
~Last Year~
"Shiny, this is amazing!" Twilight said in delight, looking around the ballroom of Canterlot Castle. As Captain of the Royal Guard, Shining had been able to pull a few strings and get the ballroom for his family's annual Hearths Warming Party. "I mean...wow!"
"Aw, it's nothing," Shining said, rubbing the back of his neck. When Twilight turned her back Shining leaned in to one of his guards. "Have there been any sightings of the assassins?"
"No, Captain Armor... but I fear that the rebel army is drawing close." Outside the sound of explosions could be heard. "I fear we will not last the night."
"Twilight!" Grandma Twinkle said, trotting up and pinching her cheeks. "You are just getting so big!" Twinkle muttered under her breath. "You big fat fattie."
"You always say that!" Twilight said with a laugh.
"There is nothing that can be done... we are doomed," Shining lowered his head in defeat. "Private, begin passing out the cyanide-laced cookies."
The private nodded, grabbing the poisoned cookies and passing them out.
"Shining Armor!" a guard hissed. "News from the battle front... Princess Celestia has murdered the leader of the rebellion... we are safe!"
Twilight reached for a cookie, only for Shining to quickly bat it away. He directed her line of vision to the brownie on the table.
~MC~MC~MC~
"Please... no more..." Spike whimpered, cupping his crouch.
Twilight stared dumbly at the wall. "I... I can't believe it. All those memories... those wonderful memories... they are nothing but lies."
Velvet shook her head. "They are not lies, Twilight. The magic of the holidays is that we can forget the bad things and focus on the positive. We are focus on our blessings and not those things that hurt us. Hearth's Warming... well, it is as the legend says: a day when ponies that should hate each other are able to come together, forget about their troubles and just be. It is the belief that on those cold, horrid nights being together can somehow chase the cold away."
"But... how are you suppose to remain positive when everypony is being so negative?"
"Twilight, no pony can force you to feel anything. Just because your friends choose to behave in ways you don't agree with doesn't mean you should take it personally. I am sure you behave in ways that upset them! The greatest trick a pony can use to ensure they have a happy Hearth's Warming is to embrace the good and ignore the bad; when you don't and you let the naysayers or the worrywarts or the greedy ponies drag you down, you let them win. But when you keep a smile on your face and a song in your heart... then you win."
"I... I never thought of it like that." Twilight smiled. "Thanks mom."
"No problem, Twilight." Velvet reached over and hugged her daughter tightly. "Now... I think we have a party to get ready for."
~MC ~MC~MC~
"And so Twilight Sparkle, with the help of her mother and her Number 1 Assistant, put together her Hearth's Warming Day party. And it was... ok. The salad was a little dry and her grandmother kept making comments about how Twilight should go hire a male hooker since she clearly couldn't get a stallion herself. There was a point where Twilight and her father got in a heated argument about mule voting rights and the less said about what Spike did after Cadence slipped him a cup of rum, the better. No pony could claim the party was perfect... or that it was even one of Twilight's better ones.
"But in the end that didn't matter. For you see, Twilight Sparkle chose not to look at those negative things. She realized that focusing on them would only drive her mad and it was better to simply smile, move on, and enjoy the holiday. It didn't matter that things weren't perfect... and by looking at life through that lens, it helped make that Hearth's Warming the best ever.
"We all have bad memories when it comes to the holidays. We remember when mom and dad fought over what to serve for breakfast. Or the time that one crazy uncle went nuts. We never forget how grandma was a control freak or how our cousin liked to drink just a bit too much. But in the end those bad things are only as bad as we allow them to be.
"So, with that in mind, I wish you a Happy Holidays."
"Please..." Sam whimpered. "Please don't drink me."
Tydal merely smiled and continued to pour cherry syrup onto the snowman's melted form. "Sorry, but I am in the mood for a slushie!"