“Oh, Mother of Celestia, my head hurts!” Quill groaned as he slowly sat up, rubbing his head. He looked down and made out the forms of Rainbow Dash and Applejack on the floor next to him, snoring. Mugs that had once been filled with cider lay next to them. A lot of mugs. Quill looked around through bleary eyes. The room was dim, and not many ponies were around. He didn’t see FIlter either. He poked the two mares next to him with his hooves. “Hey, wake up.”
It took a few moments for them to become fully awake, groaning with the same pains he had. “Hey, look at me.” They did, and he stared them in the eye. “... Did we have sex last night?”
The pegasus and earth pony shared a glance, then smiled at him. “Oh yeah. It was great,” Rainbow said sultrily, slitting her eyes.
“You better believe it. Ah don’t remember having so much fun in mah life!” Applejack winked at him.
Quill’s eye twitched. “Please tell me you’re kidding.” Then he paused. “Not that I wouldn’t want to have sex with you! It’s just... uh...” He rubbed his face. “Just tell me we didn’t really.”
The mares burst out laughing. “Of course we didn’t!” Rainbow fell to the ground, clutching at her sides. “But I do remember we had a drinking contest. I don’t know who won though.”
Applejack grinned. “Ah believe it was me.” Rainbow glared at her, but offered no comment.
Quill sighed. “Just... leave it. By the way, have either of you seen Filter?”
They shook their heads. Quill sighed again. It would take a while to find him.
The six mares Quill met the night before joined him in staring up at the roof of Sugarcube Corner, wearing varied expressions of confusion, shock, and amusement. Quill gestured up to the gingerbread building’s roof and the figure on top with a hoof.
“Anypony want to tell me how the hay he got up there?” he asked the mares alongside him. He was met with shrugs.
Up on Sugarcube Corner’s roof, a familiar blue unicorn lay fast asleep, covered only by an orange blanket that somehow didn’t get blown off by the wind. Quill groaned, knowing he’d probably never know how Filter got up there, considering there were no ways to the roof that he could see.
“So...who wants to go get him down?” he sighed, turning to the six behind him. They all gave him deadpan stares - aside from Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, who were looking away or bouncing around respectively. “...right, wings. Forgot about them.” He coughed lightly and then flew up.
Reaching his friend, Quill began to shake him, trying to wake him up. For as long as he had known him, the semi-pegasus knew Filter was a pretty big insomniac, going several nights in a row with little to no sleep. But then when he actually managed to get a full night’s sleep, he was next to impossible to wake up. And judging by how the unicorn wasn’t stirring at all, he had just had a full night’s sleep.
“Seriously guys, how did he gets up here?” the author yelled down at the mares watching him. “He’s afraid of heights, so it’s not like he’d come up here willingly!”
They offered no answer, so with a silent cuss, Quill picked Filter up and began flying him down to the ground below. Shaking his friend around more, he finally felt the unicorn begin to stir. He began slowly descending to the ground, he heard Filter mumble something. “What was that?”
Filter said in slurred speech, “Where’m I...?”
Quill sighed and rose higher into the air. “Open your eyes. It’s a surprise.”
Filter did. And screamed. He struggled in Quill’s hooves and Quill lost his grip, dropping him. The semi-pegasus laughed and almost fell from the air himself when he heard the thud of his friend hitting the ground. The unicorn glared up at him. “If I’ve broken anything I’m making you pay my medical bills.”
The author waved off the accusation with a hoof. “I’ve seen you fall from higher and not get hurt before.”
“I wasn’t asleep before.”
“True enough, but I can tell you’re fine anyways. C’mon, get up and-”
At that moment, an earth pony colt ran up to the group. “Excuse me, is there a... Blood Quill here?”
“That’s me.” Quill waved a hoof.
“The Mayor would like to see you.”
“Really? What for?” Quill cocked his head.
“She didn’t say, just ‘get him.’”
“... Does anypony have as bad a feeling as I do about this?” Quill looked around at the mares, then to Filter.
“Karma, man. Gotta live with it.” The unicorn grinned up at him.
Quill hesitated a moment longer, then shrugged, flying away. Celestia help me, if I’m about to get murdered...
He reached Town Hall in no time, gliding through the doors and landing inside. The receptionist didn’t even bother with him, just waved a hoof and said, “Go ahead.”
He walked ahead into what he assumed was the Mayor’s office. The walls were lined with shelves, each lined with books. Everything was titled, and some shelves had evolved into bookcases, filled with books. One was titled “History”; another, “Population”. There was one shelf with only one book in it, though. When Quill looked up at the title, he saw “Economy”. He raised an eyebrow at this, but had his attention drawn away by a slight cough. He looked over to see the Mayor, giving him a deadpanned look.
She was a mare, with gray hair, gray eyes, and glasses hovering on her nose. She sat at a large desk, with papers stacked on one end, everything neat and exact. A lamp sat on the edge, and... Why am I taking note of this?
“You wanted to see me, Mayor...” he paused, unsure of her name.
“Mayor Mare.” She held out a hoof. “I am in need of your services.”
“Services?” He echoed. I’m not a hooker, lady.
“Yes. I got word of you claiming to be a... mercenary?” She raised an eyebrow.
“Mercenary?” Quill stared incredulously. “When did I say that?”
“I believe last night, at that party you attended, welcoming you to Ponyville.”
“Oh.” In that case, I was probably drunk. But he said nothing, wanting to hear more. “And what do you need me to do?”
“Well, we have a problem...”
“Problem?” The semi-pegasus grinned. “I have them too. Should we compare?”
“No, this is serious. Ponies’ lives are at stake.” Mayor Mare stared him directly in the eyes. “We have a manticore problem.”
Quill’s grin fell. “Oh. That kind of problem.” He sighed. “And what makes you think I could help?”
“Well you said you were a mercenary, were you not?”
“I was-”
“Drunk? Yes, I guessed that. But those party guests didn’t. You want to keep your reputation, don’t you?”
Quill chuckled grimly. “You play a dirty game, Mayor.”
She smiled. “We do have to have somepony deal with it. And you, well, you volunteered.”
“So... what’ll I get paid?” Quill asked, cocking his head. “I’m a mercenary, you know. Apparently. I don’t do jobs if I don’t get paid.”
The Mayor considered for another moment. “If you so demand it, I can pay you in any way you wish. Within reason, of course.”
“How about fixing my house at a faster pace? Say... one more day? Long enough for me to deal with your... problem, I’d guess.” Quill was playing a risky game, and he had to win it.
“You really are mad about that, aren’t you?”
“You wouldn’t be?”
“Well, I live here. If Town Hall were to be damaged, the repairs would be done in five hours at the most.”
“That’s... great to know.”
“But that’s beside the point. So you’ll do this job if we can fix your house within a day?”
“Throw in a few bits. Then we’ll see.”
The Mayor took a moment to think. “How about three hundred?”
“Seven hundred.”
“Five hundred.”
“Six hundred.”
“Five-fifty.”
“Deal.” Quill grinned.
“Alright then. I’ll have my secretary give you a map with a marked location. You will go there. You can take anyone you like, as well.”
The semi-pegasus nodded, then left the room. The secretary, as he had been told, gave him a saddlebag, containing a map, a short sword, and instructions. “Go.”
“Gladly.” Quill left the large building, still irritated at the sudden job forced upon him. And I know just who I’m taking with me.
Filter stood inside Sugarcube Corner, chatting nonchalantly, or at least trying to, to Pinkie. He was trying to remember what he had done to get stuck on the roof, but he was having trouble. Pinkie wasn’t exactly helping either, constantly changing the topic or bouncing away randomly to talk to somepony else. He eventually gave up and tried to talk to somepony else, but his typical nervousness was enough of an obstacle.
Everypony had already gone home from last night’s party, with the exception of Filter and the six mares he and Quill had met. That made him feel better, but he still felt a bit awkward talking to these mares. Aside from his mother, he hadn’t had a regular conversation with a mare since Cetty, and it showed.
Twilight, seeing that the blue unicorn was currently trying (and failing) to strike up a conversation with Fluttershy, decided to go get a drink. As she walked to the other side of the room, she found herself being followed by Pinkie and Rainbow Dash.
“So... what do you think of Filter?” Twilight asked them.
“Him? I think that Quill guy is cooler.” Rainbow shrugged. “He’s more competitive and less shy.”
“Filter’s just new. So is Quill. We shouldn’t expect either of them to open up just like that.”
“You did,” the pegasus pointed out.
“Yes, well, that was different.”
“How?”
The two didn’t realize that with their bickering Pinkie had fallen behind, and was currently lost in thought, something uncommon for the pink party pony. Soon, Twilight and Rainbow noticed her silence, and stopped their arguing in favour of turning to her.
“Maybe...” the earth pony mumbled.
“What is it, Pinkie?” Twilight asked curiously.
“Maybe...maybe the party is what made Poppy so nervous!” She gasped upon reaching this conclusion, while Rainbow just raised an eyebrow.
“...‘Poppy’?”
Pinkie paused. “I... um... haven’t I given you all nicknames?”
The pegasus sighed. “Yeah. But you know us.”
“So? I know him too!”
“...you’ve known him for half a day.”
“Still!” Pinkie seemed to be trying to act serious, but given how she kept up her usual demeanor, it wasn’t working perfectly. “I set up the party that startled him, and now he’s all nervous around us because of it!”
“I’m sure that’s not the reason...” Twilight tried to protest, but the hyper pink pony ignored her.
“I can’t just let somepony be upset like that,” she declared. “We have to find some way to make it up to him!”
Rainbow glared. “‘We’? Who’s ‘we’?”
“I need your help, Dashie! Come on! We need to make him feel better!” She grabbed the pegasus’ hoof and began walking away.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Pinkie! I never agreed to any of this! I mean, I don’t give a hay about how he feels! I couldn’t care less!”
Pinkie took a step back, stunned. “B-b-but... I want to make Poppy feel better...” She looked down. Rainbow rolled her eyes.
“Well, you’ll have to do it without me.” With a huff, Rainbow flew out the window ands into the sky.
“B... but... okay...” Pinkie hung her head and plodded away sadly, Twilight watching her with concern.
Filter, meanwhile, had just gotten the courage to go start talking to Pinkie again. But just as he began to walk towards her, he saw a motion from the corner of his eye. Turning, he saw Quill frantically motioning for him to come outside. Confused, he began going in that direction, casting a nervous glance behind him back at the bakery.
But when he turned back, Quill was gone. Confused, he stepped outside the bakery and cast a cautious glance around. That’s when he felt something slam into him, knocking the breath out of him. With a slight “Oof” he felt the sensation of being carried into the air.
Filter was dumped unceremoniously on the ground. He shot to his hooves, looking around for his assailant. His eyes soon fell on Quill.
“... what did you do now?” Filter asked with a sigh as he sat down.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Quill responded innocently. He put on his best poker face...which was also his worst. Filter’s eyes narrowed.
“Whenever you actually come looking for me and drag me somewhere, it’s never for casual conversation. What did you do?”
Quill groaned. “Fine. I got us jobs as mercenaries.”
A silence fell.
“...you’re kidding.”
“Nope.”
Filter facehoofed. “Can you be my first target?”
“Nope. Our first target is a manticore, somewhere in the Everfree Forest.” Quill gestured towards a nearby forest. “That way.”
Filter began looking around once more, this time at his surroundings. He was on the outskirts of Ponyville; he could barely see any houses. In one direction was the town, but it seemed to be a distance away. In the other direction was the forest Quill was gesturing to. It was dark, scary, and not at all inviting. Filter swore he felt colder just looking at the entrance.
“You are bucking insane and should be banished to the moon,” the unicorn snapped.
Quill nodded. “This is not news to me. You coming or not?”
“Obviously not!”
The semi-pegasus shrugged his metal wings. “Okay.” Turning, he trotted into the forest casually like he was just going for a walk.
Filter watched him go for a few seconds. Just before his friend disappeared from sight, he sighed, got up, and gave chase. Why am I doing this...
“Knew it.” Quill grinned smugly. “Can’t leave you alone for long.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“Just that I can’t leave you in front of a dark, scary forest for longer than five seconds, or else you’d die of fright.”
“Yeah, right.”
“There, look. We made it.”
Filter suddenly realized that Quill had lured him into the trees with the argument. There was no turning back now. He just shook his head silently and continued following his insane partner.
“So...what did you say we were doing?” the unicorn asked.
“We’re mercenaries, looking for a manticore that’s been terrorizing the town.”
“Manticore mercenaries...” Filter stopped walking to think for a moment. “You know, as opposed as I am to the idea, I do like the sound of that as a title. Could impress ponies.”
Quill chuckled. “That’s what I like to hear.”
“But how are we gonna get rid of it?”
Now Quill stopped as well. “...ah. I...didn’t think of that.”
“You never think!”
“And I’m still alive, aren’t I? Yet others, such as Discord and Nightmare Moon, did think, and they’re pretty much dead. Therefore, simple deduction indicates that thinking kills you, and not thinking is how you survive!”
The insane train of logic that Quill just spouted ended up leaving Filter completely speechless. All he could do was walk over to a nearby tree and slam his head into it.
“There, you tried to think, now you’re killing yourself!” Quill pulled his friend away from the tree. “Now c’mon. We have a manticore to defeat.”
“Yeah... manticore...” Filter stumbled ahead, unable to see clearly.
A few minutes of walking brought the two to a clearing. Quill looked at his map, and sure enough, the clearing they were in was marked as the spot. They were here.
“Alright, where’s that manticore?” he wondered out loud. The sound of bushes rustling drew his attention, and he turned. “Come out, come out...”
“Uh, Quill?” Filter called, worried.
“Not now. Alright you little manticore, we have you now...” Quill began approaching the rustling bushes.
“Quill...”
“Filter, keep quiet! I’ve got him!” With a pounce, the semi-pegasus jumped into the bushes...revealing a bunny. “...huh?”
The bunny, annoyed at having his shelter removed, slapped Quill in the muzzle before hopping away.
“Quill. Over. Here.”
Finally turning around, Quill faced Filter...and saw what the unicorn had been freaking out about for the past while. Sitting on a branch in a nearby tree, was the manticore. And it was staring down at them.
“Filter...something seems off,” the author stated, rubbing his chin. “Can’t tell what, though...”
“It’s staring at me.”
“Yes, yes, of course it is. It’s hungry. Manticores eat ponies, you know...well, sometimes. They’re omnivores. They’ll take plants, but they won’t exactly pass up some fresh meat either. And stop shaking like that, you’ll cause an earthquake.”
With a loud roar, the manticore dove down from the tree branch, aiming for the two ponies. Filter instinctively shut his eyes and lit his horn, while Quill ducked and covered his head with his front legs. Crap crap crap crap cra-
THUD
The odd noise made Quill look up, one eyebrow raised. The manticore, rather than landing right on one of them and beginning to tear them apart, had slammed into a translucent blue dome that had materialized around himself and Filter.
“And they said shield spells would never be useful,” said unicorn proclaimed proudly. Quill gave his friend a grin, and it was returned.
“So...now what?” the semi-pegasus asked.
“You’re the mercenary. What do mercenaries do?”
“Hey, you’re in this with me!”
“I did the shield. My work here is done.” Filter suddenly winced, and his horn flickered, as did the shield. “Speaking of which, we might want to move fast. I’m not used to keeping these things up for longer than a few seconds.”
Quill grabbed Filter and dove to the side. The manticore rose unsteadily and growled at them menacingly. The author rose into the air and pulled something out of his saddlebags. “... Seriously? Apples?” He could see Mayor Mare laughing in her office, awaiting their demise.
“Wait, what?” Filter, still hanging in Quill’s grasp, looked up. “Okay, it’s better than nothing. Put me down.”
Quill looked down at his friend in surprise. “What?”
“I said put me down.”
Obeying, Quill swooped low to the ground and dropped Filter off. The manticore saw its chance for a bite, but the semi-pegasus made a second stop to kick it in the face, drawing its attention away.
“Whatever idea you have, it better work!” Quill shouted down.
“Throw one of the apples!” Filter yelled back.
“At the manticore?”
“No, just in general! Throw one anywhere!”
Quill paused. “...that’s sarcasm, isn’t it.”
“No it isn’t! Just throw one!”
Shrugging, Quill threw an apple ahead of himself, not really aiming at anything. He was surprised when a shield popped into existence, surrounding the apple. He was even more surprised when it began bouncing around inside the dome, gaining speed with each bounce.
“Three...two...one...” Filter counted down before dropping the shield at the right moment, launching the apple from its containment. His aim was true, and the flying fruit struck the manticore in the face just as it was about to go after the unicorn again. At the speed it was travelling, it literally knocked the winged beast over, dazing it.
“How’d you do that?” Quill asked, landing.
“A shield made of, basically, magic rubber. Normally, it’s a spell used to enchant something and turn it into a trampoline - one of the first things you learn in magic kindergarten - but by combining it with my shield spell, I...well, did what you just saw.”
“...you weaponized fruit.”
“Yep.”
“...whoever said shield spells were useless can suck it.”
A growl alerted them back to the current situation, and they faced the manticore as it began to rise.
“And of course our victory is short-lived.” Quill sighed and pulled out another apple. “Tell me when.”
Filter watched the manticore closely, but then he paused slightly when he thought he saw something strange. He could have sworn the manticore seemed afraid.
“Filter, now?” Filter snapped out of his surprised trance to see the manticore moving towards him once more. He looked up to see Quill winding up to throw again.
“Yes, now!” The apple was tossed, and again a shield was produced. The apple bounced, and then was released. Either through a stroke of bad luck, or the manticore was ready this time, but the apple missed it by a hair, smashing into a tree on the edge of the clearing. The manticore took a glance behind, and it was only a second, but in that moment both ponies reacted. Quill dived down and Filter leaped forwards. The moment the manticore turned around, both slammed into it, knocking it back into the same tree. It slumped back down onto the ground and was still.
The two friends stood there, panting heavily, and then both warily approached the figure. It was then that Filter realized something. “Quill?”
“Yes?”
“Shouldn’t manticores be bigger?”
“... yes, I think they should.” What Quill and Filter were looking at was a manticore indeed. Claws, teeth, wings, and a scorpion-like tail. But this manticore was pony-sized. And yes, we mean pony-sized. It was just smaller than Quill, and its body was more proportional than a normal manticores, adding to the odd appearance. The two suddenly became afraid that they were just looking at an... incorrect pony.
“Did we kill it?” Filter asked, backing away quickly.
Quill hovered closer, tense. “In all honesty, I hope not. No matter what it is, I don’t want to kill unless there’s no other choice.” I’ve killed too many already. He cautiously poked the beast’s head with a hoof. It lolled to the side. He leaned the body forward and examined the back of its head. The fur was sticky with blood, but to his relief not much. He leaned down and placed his head on its chest. Again he was relieved to hear a heartbeat. “No, we didn’t kill it. But we need to patch its wound. Or wounds. Let’s hope the Mayor packed bandages.”
She had. Soon they the manticore’s head cleaned and wrapped, and it was currently resting on its side, snoring.
“What do we do?” Filter asked worriedly, looking at Quill.
“Well, I’m not going to leave it here,” the semi-pegasus replied. “That would be a death sentence in itself.”
“So we’re staying in the forest, aren’t we?” Filter deadpanned.
“Yes, we are. Now find some firewood!” Quill turned back to the manticore worriedly. Filter rolled his eyes and began collecting sticks and wood.
That night the two took turns watching the woods, trying to catch sleep when the shifts changed. Neither of them actually slept, but it was early the next morning when the manticore awoke.
Quill and Filter had been awake from nervousness, so they both tensed and watched as it slowly rose, then turned to them and said, “You didn’t kill me. Why?”
Two things surprised them. One: This manticore knew Equestrian. Two: It was not an it. It was a she.
“Well, at least we can communicate.” Quill said, sticking out a hoof. “I’m Blood Quill, and this is Pop Filter.” He motioned to the unicorn, who stood gaping at the manticore girl, stunned. “Ignore him.”
She glanced at his proffered hoof, but did not shake. “I’m... I’m Ratchet. And it’s fine. Most wouldn’t stay around long enough to hear me speak, much less wonder why I’m so small.”
“Yeah, we noticed that.”
“I wish I weren’t so small, but that’s how I was born.” Ratchet shrugged, which to the ponies looked oddly... pony-like.
“Alright then... Filter, why don’t you talk to our new friend?” Quill turned back to the unicorn, who stared at him in surprise.
“Friend? This manticore is not a friend! How do we know she won’t eat us once we’ve dropped our guard?” Filter shouted, eyes darting around.
“Because we’ve dropped our guard already,” Quill pointed out smugly.
“She’s injured.”
“So? That doesn’t-”
“If you two remember, I can speak.” Ratchet sighed.
The two friends glanced at her. “Yes, that’s very important. So what do you have to say about yourself?” Quill asked.
“Well, for one thing, if you didn’t want to get attacked you shouldn’t have come here in the first place. It’s the Everfree Forest for crying out loud.”
Filter shoved Quill. “See?!”
“That doesn’t explain why you attacked us,” Quill replied to the manticore, ignoring his friend. “Yesterday you seemed set on killing us, and now we’re having civil conversation. What’s wrong with this picture?”
Ratchet shrugged again. “Everypony who comes looking for me attacks me. Something about the mayor of your town trying to get rid of me. I thought you were like them.”
Quill looked uncomfortable. “Well...we kinda were...though she sort of forced us into it.”
“Correction: she forced you into it, and you just dragged me along,” Filter piped up. A glare from his friend silenced him.
“Wait...” Quill looked back at Ratchet suspiciously. “You said others have come looking for you...?”
“I didn’t kill them,” the manticore sighed. “Didn’t even hurt them. I just scared them off. A warning. You’re the first ponies to actually stay behind and fight.”
Quill rubbed his chin with a hoof. “Interesting...so, how do you speak Equestrian anyway?”
“It’s a long story.”
“...okay then. So now, the question is: what do we do with you? We can’t just leave you here, and we obviously aren’t going to kill you.”
The three of them thought for a while. Finally, Filter spoke up. “Why don’t we just take her back to Ponyville?”
He received two deadpanned stares in response.
“No, humor me here,” the unicorn continued. “Ratchet - it’s Ratchet, right? - isn’t hostile. She’s not particularly dangerous or threatening, and considering how we’re still alive, she doesn’t eat ponies. I don’t think.” He turned to Ratchet. “Do you eat ponies?”
“I’m a vegetarian.”
“Problem solved!”
Quill shook his head. “Your logic never fails, Filter. Now we can only hope the mayor finished our house already.”
“You got her to fix our house?”
“Yep. And throw in five-hundred and fifty bits.”
“Well that’s a nice start.”
“Compared to the ten we had after buying the house.” Quill chuckled, then jerked his head back in the direction they had come from. “Now come on. You too, Ratchet. We’ll smuggle you in.” With that, he rose into the air and flew away.
With a glance and a shared shrug, the unicorn and manticore followed, although Filter made sure he could see Ratchet the entire way.
Back in Ponyville, Quill was in the Mayor’s office, reporting his “success.”
“And then I leaped up onto its back and broke its neck in a single move!” Quill exaggerated his movements. The Mayor was unimpressed. She stared at him through bemused eyes and cut him off.
“Yes, yes, very well. I assume you want your pay now?”
“Uh, yeah, sure.”
The Mayor unceremoniously took a pouch from inside her desk and tossed it to the floor. “There. Now leave.”
“Wait! Is my house fixed?”
“Yes. I made sure it was myself. Leave. Now!”
Quill picked up the bag, tested its weight, grinned, and left, glad to have the mare out of his sight. He didn’t like her. He waved the bag tauntingly in front of the secretary’s face for good measure and trotted out, laughing. Feeling accomplished, he made his way back to the Everfree, where he had left Ratchet waiting with Filter.
“The house is fixed. C’mon.” He turned and trotted away, but was stopped by a hoof.
“Wait. We haven’t thought about how to smuggle her in yet,” Filter reminded him, sighing.
Quill paused. “That is true.” He looked to the manticore girl, tapping his hoof on the ground thoughtfully. “Maybe she’d fit in a bag.”
For this he earned a smack and a glare, but Ratchet nodded all the same.
“Ow! Watch what you’re doing!” came the annoyed voice from the cloth bag. “I’m still in here!”
“Shhh!” Filter hissed. “If we get caught, we’ll all be in trouble!”
“And if I come out of this bag with too many cuts and bruises, you’ll be in even bigger trouble!”
Filter groaned. “What do you want me to do, magically levitate you? Because that totally wouldn’t draw even more attention to us.”
“... speaking of magic, aren’t you a unicorn? Can’t you just teleport us?”
“I’m not really skilled in magic. I can teleport small stuff, but I can’t even teleport myself, let alone myself and a bag containing a manticore.” The unicorn shifted his grip on the bag and turned to Quill, who was flying alongside him, about a foot off the ground. “And you’re not helping carry her because...?”
The semi-pegasus shrugged. “I’m tired.”
“You’re a freaking earth pony! I’m a unicorn. Unicorns are physically the weakest of all three pony types.” Filter stopped when he realized the perplexed stare his friend was giving him. “Hey, I went to high school. Pegasi have light yet tough bones to aid their flying and protect them from crashes. Earth ponies have stronger muscles overall. Unicorns? All of our strength is in here.” The blue pony tapped his horn. “Not that it does me any good.”
Quill sighed. “Fine, smarty pants. If it annoys you that much, I’ll carry it.” He landed and picked up the neck of the bag, rising into the air again and flying forwards, lifting it off the ground. “Also, if you want to get better at magic, there’s such a thing as practice. Or witch doctors. Or zebras.”
“Okay, one, practice doesn’t help if you don’t know where to begin. Two, witch doctors don’t exist, and even if they did, I wouldn’t touch one with a fifty-foot pole. Three, don’t be racist towards zebras.”
“Racist? I’m just pointing out a fact, my friend.” Quill raised an eyebrow, mouth twitching upwards into a smile. “You’ve never met one, have you?”
Filter rolled his eyes. “I’ve lived in giant cities my whole life, and zebras live in quiet, peaceful places. Draw your own conclusion.”
“If it’s this shocking to you, I hear a zebra lives right in the Everfree.”
“Given how we met a talking, pony-sized manticore in there...I don’t doubt that.” The unicorn paused to suppress a yawn. “I’m still not going back in there to talk to them, though.”
Quill shrugged. “Your funeral.”
“If you two hadn’t realized. I’m still alive.” came the angry voice from the burlap bag.
“We know,” Filter sighed. “It’s just talking to each other is less suspicious than talking to a bag.”
“Now be quiet until we get to- oh look, our house.” Quill cut himself off when the structure rose into view. There it was, fixed and everything. “Huh...looks a lot nicer without the hole in the roof.”
Filter gave his friend a deadpanned stare. “I wonder why.”
Quill shrugged and glided to the door. “Filter, open the door.”
The door opened in a blue aura, and the two ponies trotted in, the bag containing their new friend still being dragged along.
Quill set the bag down and said, “You can come out now.”
The manticore slowly crawled out, standing up and giving the two stallions a death glare. “You two will pay.”
“Maybe, but not until you’re healed,” Quill laughed, nudging one of her injuries.
“So...are we done?” Filter asked, yawning again.
“Yes, we’re done. Filter, you’re giving up your bed for Ratchet.”
“What? Why me?”
“Because I want a bed.”
“Who’s the insomniac here?”
“... Touché. Well, whatever the case, one of us isn’t sleeping in the bed.” Quill shrugged. “Maybe I’ll try the clouds.”
“When you get lost from sleeping on a cloud, I’ll laugh at you.”
“Whatever.”
And so it was. Ratchet and Filter got a comfortable bed, while Quill decided to sleep on a cloud. He wasn’t sure if it would work, as he had never tried it before, but he hoped everything would be alright. He landed on one of the puffy white things...
And fell straight through.
Grumbling and cursing, he made his way back to the house and collapsed on the couch, exhausted.
It had been one hell of a day. Or past few days.