A way back to Equestria
Crapcrapcrap. I frantically think as I pace around the room. What's my mom going to think when she finds out I have seven girls my age in my room?! Think think think! Ah ha! I'll just distract her!
"What's the ma-?" I cut off Twilight with a hand to her mouth. I put a finger up to my lip, hoping she'll know what it mean, then walk to the door, nearly tripping over Spike. I open the door and shut it behind me quickly, then turn around to find my mom walking the other way into the kitchen. I quietly follow her into the kitchen, her hands full with grocery bags. As she sets the bags on the counter, I tap her on the shoulder
"Gah! Phoenix, you scared m-" she cuts herself off when she sees me, her eyes welling up with tears. "Christian? But... How?" She hugs me with a hug that will make a car smasher seem like a pinch. I feel sobbing in my shoulder, my shirt getting stained with tears.
"I thought you were gone!" she shouts from the cloth.
"Why would I be? I wasn't gone that long, was I?" I ask as I hug my mom. Let's see, I was in Equestria for two days, so that's not too long.
"You were gone for two weeks!" Mom shouts once more from my shoulder. Two weeks!? Man, Celestia needs to get her clocks fixed soon, or we'll be having a problem.
"Really? It seems only two days to me," I say nonchalantly. My mom picks her head up from my shoulder and looks me in the eye.
"Where were you?" she asks sternly.
"What?" I hope I can avoid this.
"Where were you?" she asks again, this time more forcefully.
I give a defeated sigh, knowing I won't escape this. "You know that's show, My Little Pony?"
"How is that relevant?"
"Just hear me out. I may have been sent to their world, then brought my self back here. Don't ask how, I don't even know."
"Well then, who sent you?"
What is this, 20 questions? "The ruler of the the land."
"So you were sent to a world full of ponies by a ruler against your will? At least you're back now, huh?" she asks playfully. I give a fake laugh to show I agree. "I'm glad your back home, honey." She gives me one more hug before going back to the groceries. "What did you do there anyways?"
"Let's see. I defeated an evil spirit, got turned into a pony, became a powerful warrior, changed my new friends into humans, got drunk, and got back home. All in two days." I feel proud at what I just said. However, I don't think my mom feels the same way.
"You got drunk!? At 14?!" Seriously? I defeat an evil spirit, and she's worried about me getting drunk?
"We'll, sorry!" I shout sarcastically. "How was I supposed to know some pony spiked the punch?!"
"Some pony? What's that supposed to mean?"
"It's the grammar they speak there. Trying to get used to English again. Welp. I'm going back to my room," I say before cheesing it out if there. If you don't know what I mean by cheesing, watch some of the Creatures on YouTube. Anyways, when I make it back to my room, I open it to find every pony else with confused looks.
"What?" I ask.
"So how did it go?" Twilight asks. Could they not hear the shouting?
"Well, I've been gone for two weeks in Earth time, so that's new. Also, it seems I forgot to blame someone on spiking the punch," I scowl at Pinkie, who's sitting on my bed innocently. "Can't fool me Pinkie. I know it was you."
"Who, me?" Pinkie asks innocently. I give her another glare. "What? How could I not?! I mean, I got two new friends, and we just defeated Nightmare Moon, one of the biggest villains of all time! There's no way we could of had a bit of fun!"
"You could at least warn me next time!" I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. "You know what? Forget about it I'm home, and that's what matters. Now, who's next on trying to walk?" Before anyone can answer, I hear my door open and I see Phoenix, my brother, walk in.
"Could you keep it down? I'm trying to-" He cuts himself off as he sees the human-turned ponies in my room. Is it me, or is everyone cutting off their sentences today? He stands there opened mouth for a while before I walk over to him and push him back to his room. Before I can push him on his bed, he pushes my hands out of the way.
"Are they the Mane 6?!" he nearly shouts. I put a hand over his mouth and close the door so my mom won't hear me.
"Yes. Now, before, you act like a fan girl or something, I need you to be quiet about it. Got it?" He shakes his head yes. "Good, now let's introduce you to the human ponies."
I lead him back to my room, planning out how I'm supposed to do this in my head. I open the door, let Phoenix in first, then close the door behind me.
"Now Phoenix, I know you know them, but they don't know you, so I think you should intr-" I get cutoff again, thus time by my brother glomping Rainbow Dash.
"Gah! Get off of me!" Rainbow shouts as she shoves him off of her.
"Sorry, it's just that you're the Mane 6!" I can just see the excitement oozing off of him.
"I know, I am pretty awesome. But do that one more time, and you won't see anything ever again!" Dash threatens.
"Oh. Well, I guess I could just choose a different pony to be best pony." Is that a smile I see on his face? Rainbow seems shocked at his statement.
"No no! I didn't mean it! I-" she stops herself when she sees the smile on Phoenix's face, which turns into laughter, soon joined by Rainbow. "You know, that was pretty funny. We can hang out some time later and prank other ponies."
My brother stops laughing and raises an eyebrow. "Why would we prank ponies? We don't have those kinds of ponies here you know."
"Wait, what? What does he mean Christian?" Twilight asks.
"Well, you see, humans are the only sentient animals on Earth, so that means that we don't have talking ponies here. In fact, we don't even have unicorns or pegasi. Think of non-sentient earth ponies."
"Really?" Applejack asks.
"Really. I'm afraid to say this, but we really only keep ponies as pets or workers."
"So what do we say here instead of ponies?" Rainbow asks.
"Twilight, take notes so you can remember this. We say people, everybody, anybody, and anymore pony expressions. Got it all Twilight?" Twilight nods after writing down the last notes with her telekinesis. Where did she get the quill and parchment?
I choose Fluttershy to walk next because I don't have time for volunteers at moment. I help her, although she falls about four to five times, her also landing on me. Fortunately, she got the message quicker than Applejack. Also fortunately, Phoenix didn't understand what was happening quick enough. He's a bit young.
"Um, Christian? Where's the bathroom? If you don't mind me asking." Fluttershy speaks up.
"When you exit my room, go left and it's the first door on the right," I say. "Phoenix, your presence here is no longer needed."
The person in question gives a groan and is about to complain before I give him a glare. He starts pouting and walks out of the room with his arms crossed.
"Now that he's out of the question, you're up Twilight." Twilight seems a bit worried for a second, but gets over it and stands up using her arms to hold her up on the dresser. After two tries, she seems to have gotten it. Wow, she really is a fats learner.
"You're next Rari-" A Fluttershy-esque squeak cuts me off right outside the door. I turn around quickly to find Fluttershy closing the door quietly.
"Fluttershy? You okay? What happened?" I ask.
"I think your mom saw me," she says softly. Crap. Now how am I gonna explain this? I dash to the door, open it, and put my back up against it.
"What was that?" I hear my mom ask.
"What was what?" I ask. Let's hope she loses interest.
"Who was that that just went in your room?"
"No one."
"No, someone just went into your room. I just saw it."
"Actually, I was varying something in there. There's nobody else in there." I say defiantly.
"Then why are you blocking your door?" She crosses her arms.
"Because I brought back a surprise," I say as I cross my arms. Her face turns into one of confusion.
"I'll show you later. For now, head in your room and do... something."
She seems excited, sad, and mad at what I said. Thankfully, she lets up and goes into the room next to mine. I wait until she closes the door to go back in my room. I look to the eight ex-Equestrians and address them quietly.
"Okay, now we need to be quiet, because my mom's in the room next to us. Sounds travel easily through the wall and I don't want her to hear you. Rarity, your turn to Lear how to walk." She seems reluctant to practice.
"Would you mind telling me why we have to try to walk dear?" Rarity complains.
"Because if I can't find the way back to Equestria soon, you'll need to learn how to mobilize without me carrying all of you. Now, don't cross your legs." She uses my shoulder as a holding point to not fall. After a few seconds, I let go to see if she can stand. That proves to be a mistake by her feet crossing.
She ends up falling and frantically grabs around for a place to hold herself up. The spot she grabs? My shoulder and hand. I end up grabbing onto her waist with one hand to stop he from falling and step to her side so I don't land her 150 pound body on her. The end result looks like this. Why did it end up like that?
She looks up and smiles at me, failing to notice the faint blush on my face. "Thank you very mush darling," she says with a small smile. I pull her up to get out of the awkward position. Today is just made up of awkwardness and sentence cut-offs, isn't it?
"You're welcome. Your turn Lyra." The mint-green haired girl gets up from the bed and tries standing up alone, resulting in success. She dons a confident smile until she ends up falling onto her knees, not in her face because of me. "Not that easy, isnit?"
She she shakes her head no. I hold out my hand for her to hold onto. She accepts it, but then starts squeezing it with a large smile. I face palm loudly.
"Will you just stand up?!" I nearly shout as quiet as I can. She looks up and gives me a sheepish smile. We practice walking for a few minutes, failing none, and I set her back on my bed. I give my attention to Spike, who is messing with my computer by pressing random buttons on the key board.
"Now, you don't have to worry about trying to walk, because you're small enough for me to carry around on my shoulders. that, and you could already walk on two legs." I go back onto my bed, opposite of Lyra. No need to teach Pinkie, since she's already able to walk like a biped.
I blur my eyes once to get the details of my room and the people in my room. Rainbow Dash has a light blue tank top, dark blue shorts, and mostly white sneakers. Applejack has an orange flannel shirt, her signature Stetson, jeans, and leather boots. Note to self: Don't tell her what the shoes are made of.
Pinkie has a pink shirt with a couple her cutie mark on it, a pink pair of shorts, and pink shoes. Maybe she likes pink? I ask myself sarcastically. Twilight has a purple button up short, a black business-like skirt, and black dress shoes. Rarity is donned with a white, elegant dress, and red high-heels. Fluttershy has a yellow sweater, a brown skirt that isn't too formal, nor frilly.
Spike has a purple jacket with a light green shirt, jeans that are rolled up, and, Vans on his feet. Why? I don't know. Lyra has been graced to wear mint green dress shirt, a darker green skirt, and tan heels with a hint of gold.
Out of boredom and procrastination, I decide to pop my joints. First the knuckles...*pop pop pop pop* Then the second set of knuckles...*pop pop pop pop* then the-
"Why are you doing that?" Twilight asks.
"Why my dear Twilight, it makes me feel pleasant!" I say with a deep, posh voice. I continue to twist my back using my hands to help. I then put my hands on my chin and the back of my head to pop my neck, but get cut off by a couple of pops. Am I able to pop my neck by touching my chin?I glance around to see Rainbow Dash finish popping her neck.
"Is that how it's going to be? You're on then!" I pop my neck, this time with my mouth open to make it louder. Yes, that does work. I see Rainbow go on to pop her knuckles by repeating what I did. I go on and pop my toes, which you are able to do. RD goes onto to pop her back, although not using her hands to help her. Well, I've run out of things to pop. She looks at me expectantly, only receiving a shrug from her competitor. She dons a smug grin and says, "I knew I'd win."
An idea suddenly pops into my head. "I think I know a way back, but I need my computer. Spike, if you will please remove yourself from the desk." The used to be dragon jumps down and stands next to the desk as I power up the monitor sod my computer. The screen comes to life in a few seconds and the login scene pops up I proceed to type in my password and wait for the slow piece of technology load.
"Watchya doing there?" Twilight asks as she stumble walks over.
"I'm looking up the dragon language to see if I can find the words to the shout I used last night. If only the stupid thing was clean and faster." I'm not really sure on what kind of computer mine is, but I know it needs to be cleaned of all the crap it has. Never get mods for games unless you know your computer can handle it.
"Really? You can do that? With this?"
"Yes. The computer is magnificent. You can type up stories, like the typewriter, but less messy, you can run games, and then there's the Internet. The Internet is one of mankind's greatest and worst inventions. Greatest and worst for the same reasons. Think of it like a large series of tubes that can deliver information to you in a matter of seconds to a minute. You can listen to music, search for certain data, watch videos, and, like I said before, write things." The desktop shows, the default background like I've always had it, and now I have to wait for the pop-ups to show.
Twilight's goes slack-jawed at the information I just gave her. "Seriously?!"
"Eeyup." The first pop-up appears, which I click the exit window quickly. Tango down.
Fifteen minutes later...
After many questions answered by Twilight, and many pop-ups deleted, I finally got to the dragon language wiki.
"I forgot to ask, why is it called the dragon language?" Twilight asks.
"Yeah, I don't speak that," Spike says.
"That's because there's a game called Skyrim that has dragons in it." I walk over and pick up the case for the game. "These dragons are not like the ones where Equestria is. The speak a different language, like I did with my powers. Other than that, there's not a lot different, other than the wings." I show the case to the group to show them what it looks like.
"That's it? It just looks like something that goes on a necklace," Rainbow says as she points at the symbol of Akatosh.
"Ever heard of the phrase 'big things come from small packages'?"'I ask as I put the case back on the ground near the PS3. I head back over to the computer and start looking for the words I most likely used. Let's see. Fus means force, Wuld... Nah. Kren? That means break. Break a wall? I guess. Now what about-
"Ugh! I'm bored!" Rainbow exclaims. I give a sigh and walk over tithe dresser and pick up the remote turning on the T.V. The theme song for My Little Pony starts playing. I roll my eyes because most likely my sister starting watching a show, but stopped early for some reason.
"... That's us!" Twilight says. Did she forget that I already told her about the show, or did I imagine that?
"Yes. Don't you remember?" I ask as I sit back down and continue looking for the words. The beginning ends and I can feel eight pairs of eyes staring at me.
"Yes?" I ask, not turning around.
"Would you like to explain that?" Lyra asks.
"No, but Twilight can. Twilight?" I look over to the purple haired girl for help. She nods and begins to tell the group what I told her. I tune them out as I look for the words that I used.
A couple of minutes later, I come up with only one possible word. That's it. I know there was a shout like that in a fan fiction. I close out of the tab and open up fimfiction.net. Hopefully they don't notice. I look back to see something strange. Me, and Twilight Sparkle talking together. In the show that's on. Wat.
"Since when am I in the show?" I ask no one in particular.
"Apparently, this is what happened when Twilight was sent to Ponyville. Wow, it all seems... strange." Spike says.
"I know, I mean when I first saw this, I wasn't in it."
"What do ya mean?" Applejack asks.
"Remember how I knew so much? That was because a lot of what I knew is also after this episode. Also, I was never i the show when this first came out."
"Really? Wow." Rainbow comments. Yeah, she's too engrossed in the show, waiting for part.
I shake my head and go back to the computer. Let's see, it was a Skyrim crossover, and I favorited it. I see a story, named Alduin Unbound. I look through the chapters coming up to the sixth chapter: Madgods and Dragons. In this chapter, Alduin uses a shout to travel through Oblivion.
"Found it," I say out loud. I glance back at the t.v. to see where the show is. I sea nightmare Moon laughing evilly while Twilight and I are in the front of Ponyville.
"Hit me with your best shot," the me on the show says. I quietly face palm at those words. They sound so stupid right now. Thanks brain.
You're welcome.
I suddenly get an idea about something fun I can do.
"Hey guys, follow me outside," I say as I stand up.
"Why? It was just getting good!" Pinkie says.
"I've got something fun I can show you." I grab my oPod Touch and walk out the room. Thankfully, my Jon's door is closed. I walk into my brother's room and see him on his PSP, playing Patapon. One of the best games ever.
"Hey Phoenix, wanna see something cool?"
He hits four beats before looking up with a confused expression.
"Just come one. It deals with Skyrim."
I head out of the hallway and turn around to find the Mane 6 and Lyra slowly walking down the hallway, using the little designs on the wall to help them walk. Save for Pinkie who's walking fine. Phoenix opens his door to see them walking past him. He looks to me with an excited face, getting a glare in return.
I walk out the front door, opening both the wooden and the glass one slowly so as not to alert anyone. More specifically, my mom. I hold open the glass door so it doesn't male more noise when anyone else opens it. After we're all outside, I see it's a sunny day, save for a couple of clouds.
"Why are we outside?" Rainbow asks.
"So I can show Phoenix here something awesome. That, and you might get a kick out of it too," I state as I start walking down the steps. "Use these rails to hold you up while going down. Don't want to fall."
The six girls slowly walk the steps, while Spike walks down as quickly as I did, and Pinkie jumped down the four steps. I go to the west side of my house and head to the center of our side of the field. Our neighbor takes up the other half. I pull or my iPod and open YouTube, waiting for it to load due to being away from the wi-fi of my house. After that loads, I search the Skyrim Trailer and wait for that to load.
"What are ya doing there?" Rainbow ask as she keeps her wobbly legs steady.
"I'm going to show you what I'll be doing soon." I say as the bass drum begins to strike.
"You should've acted," the person in the video begins.
"Who's there?" Fluttershy questions as she hides behind Rainbow.
"It's just the video, Fluttershy," I say. The video continues with stride.
"They're already here. The Elder Scrolls foretold of their return." The man says.
"How is that possible?" Twilight asks, amazed.
"Shh." I put a finger to my lip. The vid goes on for another minute before getting to the part I needed it to.
"FUS RO DAH!" The Dovahkiin in the video shouts. I pause it right there so they don't have to see anything else.
"Hey! That's kinda like-" I put ah and over Pinkie's mouth to stop her.
"Now Phoenix, I want you to repeat what that guy just said.
"Which one?" he asks.
"Duh. The old sounding guy." He rolls his eyes and begins repeating it.
"In their tongue, he is Dovahkiin. Dragonborn!" He says as best he can. Close enough. I blur my eyes and inhale deeply.
"FUS RO DAH!"
A blue-ish force erupts in front of me, quickly heading towards the forest behind our house. As it reaches, it back the trees as if a stone wind was pushing them. As the dust settles, I turn towards Phoenix who's jaw is about to hit the ground. I bet it would if it could.
"Hello? Earth to Phoenix!" I wave a hand in his face to get his attention.
"That was awesome!" he shouts.
"Yes, it was. Didn't you see me in the show?"
"Yeah, but it's like 20% cooler in person!" I know he did not just say that. I'll let it slide for now.
"Now, what do you gals, and Spike, think about that?"
"It was awesome, but not as awesome as me," RD says.
"It was loud," the one in the yellow sweater said weakly.
"Do you think I could do it one day? Because you did say that was dragon language." Spike's right. He is able to do it.
"Later. Now, Phoenix, I want you to tell Mom I'll be gone for some time. Tell I'm heading back to where I was." I know I'm making the right choice. I've gotta be in Equestria.
"What? Already? Can I come?"
"No, I've got a reasone to be there while you don't you're just gonna annoy everyone there most likely. Sorry, but the Mustang's gotta protect Equestria, and I can't watch you and protect the country at the same time." I rub my neck to see if it's tough and the results come in positive.
Phoenix looks like he's about to cry, slumped shoulders and head facing down. I put an arm around his shoulder and pull him close.
"You know, I can take you when there isn't any trouble, like say Hearth's Warming? No trouble, and it's after Christmas." He looks up and smiles, wiping away a tear. "And tell Mom to not worry. I will be back."
I turn to the rest of the group. "Ready to go?"
"But I didn't learn enough of this world yet," Twilight says. I run back inside and grab my history book off the dresser on my dresser. When I exit my room again, I see my mom blocking the way.
"Why do you have that? And what was that loud noise outside?" Another 20 questions.
"I'm giving this to a special friend of mine, and that loud noise was my power." I walk up to her and give a bear hug to her.
"Why the hug?"
"To let you know I'll be back and that I love you." I look up and see her confused again.
"Where are you going? To Blake's"
"Phoenix will explain it. Love you!" I shout as I run out the door. I make it back to the group and hand the book to Twilight.
"Here. This is our world's history until a few years ago." I say as I turn to Phoenix.
"Go and tell Mom what's about to happen." I turn around and see my mom standing on the porch staring at the group. I wave to her and turn towards the forest. "Let's go."
"But-" Pinkie starts.
"We're going to Equestria. Back home." I head to the really old used-to-be-a-baseball-field behind our house and look around. One last look before going to the brightly colored world of ponies. I turn to see the group closer behind, most likely from better practice of walking. I turn towards the forest and blur my vision.
"Kren... Gron LEIN!"
A blue rift opens in front of me. I allow the rest of the girls and Spike through first, although Twilight stops and turns towards me.
"You sure you want to go? You've got family here." I smirk and shake my head.
"Twilight, I can just come back if needed to. Now get in there!" I push her in and give one last look around before turning to the gaping maw of the portal in front of me. I begin walking towards it.
But end up tripping into it.
