This Is What Happens

by enigmaMystere

When Fun Goes Too Far

“What are we doing here, again?”

Vinyl looked up from her V-Rifle, frowning slightly at the burgundy pegasus. “We’re here to play a game, E.” She resumed her work, painstakingly cleaning out the barrel of her new favorite weapon. “Besides, I think you could use the practice.”

“Practice?” He readjusted the twin speakers mounted on his wings, scowling a bit. Stupid things are freaking annoying. “And what, pray tell, do I need practice for?”

The white mare sighed, rolling her eyes. Her iconic purple shades hid that little action from him, though. “You got blindsided at the engagement party, dude. And not even once, but twice - by the same pony, to boot!” She giggled at the glare he gave her. “Okay, so it wasn’t really you, but still, the same thing that could beat that imposter would do the same for you!”

She carefully put on her harness, smirking slightly at him. “Don’t forget, we still have to settle who’s stronger between us.”

The feminine stallion just stared at her blankly for a few moments. “Is that why we’re all the way out here in this clearing in the Everfree?” He put a hoof to his chin, thinking a bit. “I suppose that makes sense. Less chance of casualties here, after all.”

“Glad we agree.” She slung the Mk. IV into a pouch on her back. “So, a few rules.” She picked up a sharp blade with a network of circuitry around the hilt, which glowed enough to be seen in the daylight shining down on them.

He crossed his forelegs, jumping a bit at the contact of the mystic metal under his legs. Cold! He fought to keep a nonchalant attitude, smiling at her. “What rules are there, Vi?”

“Well, for one, no definitively deadly attacks.” She swung the sword around, nodding satisfactorily. “Aim for the torso, where the harness is. It’ll absorb any attacks that hit it, but it’ll count it as a blow. The simulation’s location will change every few lives.” She tapped the side of her shades, smirking playfully. “That’s why I had you wearing those shades, E. It tells us how many ‘lives’ we have left.”

“Gotcha.” He prodded the side of his harness, causing a few numbers to appear in the corner of his shades.

He took a second to look around, testing whether or not his vision was impaired by the eyewear. Thankfully, they didn’t seem to be much of a hindrance to him. “Okay, so what about other rules?”

She laughed, shaking his head. “There are no other rules!” She kicked a little device on the ground between them. Enigma watched in complete shock as the silver sphere rose into the air, visibly scanning the area around them. A mechanical voice emanated from it, echoing in the empty field.

“Parameters set. Size of area nine square miles. Uploading simulation number zero-zero-one now.”

A square pattern formed on the ground beneath them. With a flash of white, the field around them turned into...nothing.

Enigma turned to his love, confused. “Vi, what is this?”

She giggled, winking playfully. “What else would the first level be? Don’t forget, we have to get your baseline fighting potential.” She smiled cheekily, lowering her stance. “You ready, E?”

He glanced at the metal covers on his hooves, then the speakers attached to his wings. He turned back to her, a bemused look on his face. “No, I’m not. I don’t even know how to use these!”

Vinyl sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose with a hoof. “Fine. Quick tutorial, then.” She pointed her right hoof to his left towards a boulder that appeared similar to another a certain fashionista would rather forget about. “See that rock? Turn the flats of your forehooves towards it.”

Rather dubious, he did as instructed, calculating the trajectory in his mind to be absolutely sure it was correct. “Got it, but now what? Do I just flex a muscle or-” He was interrupted as, flexing a muscle in demonstration, a burst of red, snake-like light and dubstep shot out of the end of his boot. It struck the boulder, shattering it into hundreds of tiny pebbles. “...oh. Huh.” He turned to the other pony, sheepishly smiling. “Got it?”

She stared at the spot where the rock once was. “...damn...I didn’t realize how powerful the Bass Drops were...” She turned to him just as he put his forehoof back on the ground, her eyes widening behind her shades in shock. “Don’t!” She saw him flinched, his whole body momentarily tensing from the sudden shout.

A moment was all that was needed, though. Once more, his Dubstep Gun fired, but not electric streamers like before. A large wave of energy surged over the ground, briefly becoming brighter with each boom of the music.

At that moment, a timberwolf stepped into the clearing, having strayed too far from its pack and thinking that the ponies would make a nice snack. It chose a bad time and spot, though, and could only stare in shock as the wave came at it, frantically trying to backpedal. It wasn’t able to avoid the attack as it formed a pattern of circuits underneath it. It yelped and flailed as spikes of light shot up, piercing its body. Its movements became slower with each one until it eventually fell still, the spires holding it up.

Enigma and Vinyl stared at the scene in stunned silence. He was the first to break out of his shock, holding his hooves over his eyes. “Dear Luna, WHAT DID I DO?!”

She smacked him over the head, frowning. “Get a grip, E! It’s just stunned - I can hear it breathe from here!”

They both froze, hearing the voice call out. He slowly turned to her, a deep frown settling in its new home on his face. “...did you just...knock a life off me? I thought you said only the torso counted!” He now completely faced her, trembling slightly. “Why did you lie?!”

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “I didn’t want us to accidentally kill each other.” She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “I get it. You probably feel that the fact I lied to you about something that small might mean I’ve lied to you before.”

“Oh, I know you’ve lied to me before!” He groaned, gently facehoofing lest the harness count that against him as well. “You kept saying that you didn’t love me a few months ago, remember? I know that was a lie. I forgave that, though.” He took a deep breath, calming himself down. “I can forgive this, too. After all, it’s just a game, right?”

Vinyl smiled softly, gently nuzzling his cheek. “That it is.” She sighed quietly, glad he didn’t hold that against her.

Then came the smack to her stomach.

She leaped away from him, growling in annoyance. “What the buck, dude?! You just suckerpunched me!”

Enigma grinned playfully, wagging his hoof at her. “Now we’re even, Vi!” He chuckled, lowering his stance. “And now I’m ready.” His eyes flashed momentarily, signaling the activation of his theta-state. Of course, this was hidden by his shades.

She glanced down at the saddlebags still on his back, smirking slightly. “Fine.” She got into her own stance, eyes narrowed behind her own sunglasses. The only sound in the glade was the wind rustling through the grass and the timberwolf running away with its tail between its legs.

“Go!”

Vinyl leaped forward, a hoof brought back. She saw him attempt to leap to the side, but his overburdened bags caused him to be too slow. “Gotcha!” She slammed him in the side with her hoof, sending him flying across the field.

He carefully righted himself, groaning softly. “Stupid saddlebags!” He unfastened the buckle, letting it fall to the ground with a crash. “Ah, that’s better. Now I can move freely!” He grinned, pointing a hoof at his love. “Here I go!”

With that, he was gone.

Vinyl glanced around anxiously, unsheathing her sword. “Where is he?” She closed her eyes, focusing on the sounds surrounding her. The gentle whisper of the wind in the air. The chirping of birds as they flocked in the trees. Even the whimper of that dumb timberwolf as it tried to get back to its pack.

There!

The sound of metal being hit resonated through the glade. She turned towards her blade, smirking slightly. “Got-”

She stopped, seeing no one there. “...ya?” She looked down at her hooves, seeing a lone pebble on the ground. “...oh, you’ve gotta be f-”

“Language!” Before she could react, she got slammed in the side, sending her straight through a tree. “I thought Fancy taught you better than that!”

She frowned at him, her eye twitching slightly. “Don’t. You dare. Talk about DAD!” She grabbed the tree with her forehooves, lifting it up over her head in her anger.

“...buck.” Enigma leapt away from the rage-infused mare in front of him as the simulation changed around him, concrete and metal starting to grow out of the ground. He stopped right before slamming into the side of a building, looking up at it thoughtfully. “...you know, this reminds me of that one concert hall in Manehatten...”

He glanced over to the side and stopped, his jaw dropping in shock. Off in the distance, shown most likely through a backdrop on the edge of the area, was a large, green mare. In one of her forehooves was a tablet, and in the other, a torch. Needless to say, it was unmistakable. “...is that...the Statue of Liberty?” He glanced around, finally recognizing the layout of the street he was in. “Dear Luna, this IS Manehatten! And my old street, too!”

“You mean to tell me...” His blood went cold at the iciness in her voice. He slowly turned around to her, backing away at the sight of flames around her body. “...you were down the bucking street from my performance...and you weren’t able to make it?!”

He continued to back away, a sheepish smile on his face. “...um...yes?”

“YOU’RE DEAD!” She leaped at him, bringing down the sword on his head.

Or, rather, where his head would’ve been, had he not flash-stepped away. “Look, let’s calm down, Vi. Yes, I said I couldn’t make it.” He dodged a slash that shot an arc of lightning out, decimating the building behind him. “...I didn’t know it could do that...anyways, the reason I said that was because,” he ducked under the blade, “I just,” he sidestepped another slash, “would you just stop trying to hit me?!”

With a cry of pure anger, she leapt forward, the very tip of her sword aimed at his heart. She wasn’t thinking, and the blade would’ve been halted by the harness.

Enigma stopped it with a mythril-covered hoof, frowning deeply. “Fine, then.” A tendril of red energy surged out of his boot, wrapping around the sword. “I’ll beat you and then we’ll talk.” He slammed his forehoof into her stomach, sending her flying up into the air. “...I hope she doesn’t get killed...”

The white mare took the seconds she was in the air to think. I’m gonna lose if I can’t calm down. I know this, but how can I forgive him for lying about that? The stupid hypocrite! She smirked, pulling out her V-Rifle. The Smooth Rhythm is out of my grasp, but that doesn’t mean I’m done for. I suck with swords, anyways. She aimed at the building next to her, a mad glint in her eye. “Plan B it is!”

She fired, destroying the wall and launching herself to the other building across the street. The rubble fell down to the asphalt where the pegasus was.

He looked up, his eye twitching slightly. “...this is gonna hurt...” He lowered his head and defensively wrapped his wings over it, not wanting to be knocked unconscious. It worked, as he wasn’t hit in the head.

What he didn’t expect, however, was for nothing to hit him. He slowly opened an eye and immediately wondered why his vision was filled with green. He slowly raised his head, realizing that there was a green bubble around him. “...well. That’s interesting.” He retracted his wings, and the shield slowly fell. “...now I know what the Rewind’s special property is. That’s some good news.”

He looked up at the buildings surrounding him, nervous. Vi can be in any one of these buildings. Who knows if they even have any interiors? He sighed, furtively glancing over each of the structures. There has to at least be a sign of which one she’s in. Come on... A glimmer of light in one of the fifth floor windows caught his eye. There!

He shot an electric tendril out, snaring the source of the reflection. With a small smirk, he tugged, pulling out a-

He frowned, narrowing his eyes at the black object that came out. That’s not Vi. That’s... He noticed the label on the side of it. “...‘baka’?”

That’s when the sphere exploded in his face.

He lay splayed out on the ground, groaning slightly. “...ow...” He slowly sat up, placing a metal-covered hoof on his head. “I may be durable, but that still freaking smarts.” He pulled his hoof away, noticing the small amount of bright red on the black metal surface. “...huh. So that’s what color my blood is.”

A metal piece was pressed against the back of his neck. “You lose. Even you can’t dodge a blast from this close.”

He looked at their reflection in what little glass was left in the building in front of him. “...that’s what you think.” One of his wings snapped out and grabbed the barrel of the gun, pulling it to the side as his other pointed the attached speaker right at her face. “Payback.”

A green spiral of light burst forth, slamming Vinyl in the face and knocking her back a few feet. Some additional ‘bullets’ shot out within the vortex, but she was able to dodge those due to being knocked back.

She quickly got back up, glaring daggers at him. Now I don’t have any weapons. She thought about this for a minute, a smile creeping onto her face. That’s perfect. She stood up on her hindlegs, shaking her forelegs out to limber herself up.

As she was doing this, the area around her shifted once more. The tops of the skyscrapers arched towards each other, the windows shrinking and shifting around. What once were alleyways became tunnels, and a definitive ceiling formed over everything else. If either of them had been where the diamond dogs lived, they’d have recognized this location.

As it was, Enigma was too busy staring at the staggering mare in front of him. She currently had her hooves up and turned in, almost as if she was holding a bottle in the crook of her hooves. “...Vi? You sure you didn’t drink any alcohol recently?”

She didn’t answer him with words, instead letting her actions speak for her. She leaped at him, but she landed a few feet short, barely catching herself on her forehooves.

He watched this silently, a bemused expression on his face. “...seriously? What was the point of-”

A swift hindhoof to the jaw shut him up and sent him sailing through the air.

She rushed forward, quickly closing the distance even as she staggered slightly. Seeing her approaching, he flipped over in mid-air and swung at her. At that moment, one of her legs slipped, causing her to fall to the side and, incidentally, avoid the attack. She planted a forehoof on the ground, spinning around and knocking his legs out from under him. While he was still in the air, she turned her back half up above her head, bringing a hindhoof down on his side right before landing her other on top of his head.

She leapt back, going back into her pseudo-drunk pose. The only giveaway was the confident smirk on her lips. “Ready to give up?”

He slowly stood up, a small amount of blood dripping from his mouth. “...I won’t give up...” His shades had cracked on one side, revealing an icy maroon eye. “Believe it!” He leaped at her, so fast that he appeared to teleport. He landed a blow on her side, winding her. He slammed his head against hers, knocking her for a loop.

She quickly recovered and retaliated, depending on her drunken hoof technique, certain that he wouldn’t win if he couldn’t tell what she was doing next. What she didn’t realize was that he’d already seen through this tactic, reading the muscles of her body and dodging each and every one of her strikes. He could even tell that she was slowly growing more and more frustrated with each passing moment. The only problem was he was starting to run low on stamina. 

Around them, the scene changed once more, the caverns melting into the floor as the ground beneath them rumbled, rising into the air with the ponies still on it. Soon enough, the were on a small floating island, at least a mile off the ground. A few birds flew past, staring at the unicorn in confusion. They paid the pegasus no mind, as pegasi weren’t that unusual to see that high in the air.

Enigma leaped back for a moment to get a breather, narrowing his eyes. “Time to end this.” Just like the mare, he stood up on his hindlegs, the familiar red tendrils forming out of his metallic boots. The gears were turning in his head, a plan forming.

Vinyl sneered, huffing slightly. “Yes.” Her horn lit up, and the Smooth Rhythm, which had been neglected for so long, rose out of the earth behind the pegasus and launched itself at him.

He saw it coming, but he couldn’t just dodge it - it would go right at his love’s face. In a flash, he snared it in his electric whips and slammed it into the ground blade-first. He turned back to her only to find that she wasn’t there. He cursed silently, glancing quickly around the little island.

He blinked, confused. He double-checked that in the little scoreboard in his shades. Sure enough, the disk jockey’s score had dropped a number. “...what? Why did-”

“BANZAI!”

He looked up just in time for a heavy axe-kick to land on top of his head.

She jumped away, swaying slightly, smiling triumphantly. “You didn’t know about this level, did you? This one counts you falling off the side against you, but it teleports you back above the field!” She sneered once more, lowering her head slightly. “And I still have one more life than you. Just give u-”

“ENOUGH!” He flared her wings. “This has gone on for far too long! I’m putting an end to this right now!” With that sentiment, he vanished from her sight.

She growled, looking around for her opponent. “Come out, coward! Or is everyone right - are you really a scaredy-filly?!”

“Not.”

She blinked, looking down at her opponent, who was currently crouched under her head. Why is his leg- That was as far as her train of thought went before he kicked her in the jaw, sending her flying up into the air. Her shades flew off her face, revealing her eyes, wide with shock.

“A.”

He appeared in the air above her, his wings folded in front of him so the speakers were facing each other. In between them, a green sphere was formed, crackling with swirling energy dying to get out. He grabbed it with the red tendrils from his Bass Drops, forming a shell around the ball. The green light shined through the red, creating a bright yellow light.

He brought his hoof back, holding the newly-created mini-tornado bomb in preparation to strike. For a fraction of a second, a look of guilt crossed his face. He closed his eyes, if only to stop himself from looking at the pain in her eyes.

“MARE!”

He brought down his hoof, slamming the sphere into her protected chest, breaking the shell. The swirling energy burst out, striking the mare and causing her to spin wildly into the ground below. She collided with it with a loud boom.

He landed next to the small crater and flung his shades aside, looking down into it. “...please be okay, Vi...”

She lay flat on her back, her forelegs out to her sides and barely moving. The ground beneath them started to fall, the illusionary island lowering them both down to the true earth. Vinyl was slowly raised up out of the crater, now resting on the soft grass.

Enigma rushed next to her as soon as everything had settled. He gently cradled her in his forelegs, crying softly. “...I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” He pressed his forehead against hers, his tears falling onto her sullied coat. “I-I was afraid. Afraid that I’d say something stupid - say something to ruin my c-chances with you.” He hugged her close, choking on his words. “T-that’s why I c-couldn’t go to that c-concert. T-that’s why I c-couldn’t bring myself to f-face you.”

“You’re crushing my ribs.”

He blinked, pulling back and looking at her face. “V-Vi?”

She peeked an eye open, smacking him over the head. “I said you’re crushing my ribs!” She sat up, brushing the scratches on her harness. White fur peeked through in a few small spots. “Damn, E, you actually penetrated my armor.”

He snickered, putting a hoof against his mouth. “That’s what she said.”

She rolled her eyes, smiling playfully. “I’m supposed to be the one to make the lewd jokes, baka.” She smacked his shoulder before pulling him close. Though he couldn’t see over his shoulder at that moment, he could clearly hear her sniffling. “...my baka.” She pulled back enough to look into his eyes, smiling softly. “...I forgive you, E.”

He didn’t have any time to respond before she pulled him into a passionate kiss. He didn’t mind, though, nor did he mind when she started to lean back, forcing him to position himself over her.

They didn’t get any further than that, though, before a buzzing sound filled the air. She pushed him away, sitting up immediately. “That sound. I know that sound.” She turned to look behind Enigma, her stunned expression slowly morphing into one of pure hatred. “Of course.” She stood up, her magic quickly pulling her Smooth Rhythm and V-Rifle to her. She turned to her love, smirking playfully. “Ready to zap some insects, E?”

He chuckled, clapping his forehooves together. “I was born ready, Vi.”

They both turned and faced the large cloud of black approaching them. They had no idea what the future would hold for them, nor did they care to find out. All they knew was that their bond had been strengthened, and they’ll face whatever life throws at them together.

“And you can run and tell that, home-boy!”

Enigma looked at her, confused, two Changelings squirming in the grip of his electric whips. “...who are you talking to, Vi?”

She waved a hoof at him, sitting on top of a pile of defeated foes. “Oh, you don’t need to worry about that, E. We’d better get a move on, though. This swarm won’t be unnoticed for long, and you know that-”

A flash of yellow sped between them, stunning them both. They turned and looked, watching as a blue-maned earth pony beat fifteen of their enemies in one fell swoop. She turned to them, her cyan eyes taking in their strained expressions.

“...what? What’s so funny?”

Vinyl giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof. “Tavi, you forgot to put on your face!” The happy couple couldn’t stop themselves anymore, laughing loudly and writhing on the ground in their mirth.

The mare sighed, rolling her eyes. “Well forgive me for leaving a family reunion to help deal with this threat.” She faced the swarm once more, ignoring the laughter behind her. “I suppose I’ll have to protect you while you recompose yourselves.”

She launched herself into the midst of the Changelings, her cello bows poised to strike.