The cheerfully lit room was quite large. Streamers and banners flew about the space overhead while the floor was relatively open, crowded only by the occasional table and chairs. Off to one side was a dessert buffet line, featuring all sorts of scrumptious goodies. Pinkie Pie was happily sipping some punch, facing the stage at the far end of the chamber.
“Oof!” Simon rammed into Rarity from behind and stumbled to regain his balance. “What... what is this?”
Pinkie turned around. “Hooray! You’re all here! Oh girls and also Simon I guess... this is going to be so much fun!”
“Pinkie, what exactly IS it?” Twilight asked.
“A party!” Pinkie replied, bouncing merrily.
Twilight placed a hoof over her face and groaned. “I can see that. What’s it a party FOR? What’s the occasion? And where exactly are we?”
“Reverse order for fun and profit! I’m not sure where we are. Disco explained it to me, but I didn’t really get what he was saying. The occasion is to that everything went according to plan. The party is for celebrating that it all worked! Those two are kinda the same thing I guess, but oh well. And I know you’re about to ask me a bunch of silly questions about what his plan is, but he can probably tell you himself. He should be coming on stage any minute now!”
The lights dimmed. The curtain rose to reveal Discord, hovering a small distance above center stage wearing a crazy multicolored tuxedo. He cleared his throat.
“Welcome ponies and gentleman! We’ve got a fantastic lineup of revelations and revolutions for you tonight, but first things first let’s just get some necessary baggage out of the way. I’d like to thank all you good ponies for making this possible, especially Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie, and I’ll begrudgingly thank the human race for getting the whole ball rolling. I suppose if it weren’t for you delightfully spastic simians none of us would be here today. Since none of you have the whole picture, I’d like to tell a little story to get us all on the same page real quick. Do we have time for that? Any objections?”
Rainbow Dash tensed up to hurl herself at the stage, but was held in place by an unseen force.
“I don’t actually want any of you to participate here. The whole thing just flows better if I say things like that. Now, where was I? Oh yes. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, some pretty smart monkeys started communicating more effectively than any others before them. They formed groups and set out rules and were just generally very productive little scamps. But it was never enough. No matter how much they had, they always wanted more. At first they were hungry and they wanted more food, but once they had enough food they decided they wanted more furs. And then more space. Nothing ever truly satisfied them, and they continued to reach out for more, thinking the next thing they acquired would satisfy them. More what, who could say? It changed so often, but always came back to more. Eventually, they achieved near total mastery over matter and could easily obtain any physical thing they wanted more of. But this was still not enough, and so they turned to immaterial phenomena like light and gravity. These things, too, they sought to conquer, and in many ways they did. But there was a problem. They had it all mapped out. They knew which of these things went where, and they could see there was something missing. A fundamental force they couldn’t generate, couldn’t manipulate, couldn’t even FIND. Their greed and their arrogance knowing no bounds-”
“I have heard ENOUGH of this!” Simon bellowed. “Do you know how many times I’ve heard speeches like this denouncing humanity? DO YOU? I’m not seeing what the problem is, here! No species with free will is ever going to be perfect. We make mistakes. We have flaws. But that is no reason to... to PERSECUTE us as if we are the worst thing to ever happen to the universe!”
Discord smirked. “Oh trust me, I know ALL about it, and the picture is much more grim than you realize. Now if you’d let me continue?”
Simon remained silent.
“Good. Now then, not knowing where to start, the humans decided to try something new. They looked at how far they had come and what they had accomplished with nothing more than rational thinking and dextrous hands and wondered just what could be accomplished by a species that was capable of MORE. They toiled and slaved for some time to develop a generic seed that could be adapted into a multitude of lifeforms, each with powerful abilities. They supplied these creatures with energy and safe planets and guardian angels.” He frowned. “How nice of them to find a way to feel good about playing god and exploiting the ignorant to get what they want.”
“They wouldn’t EXIST if it weren’t for us! How have we wronged them? We have provided nothing but positive benefits!” Simon shouted.
Discord chuckled. “You don’t seem to understand. The ends do not necessarily justify the means. So you didn’t actively harm them. You’re not COMPLETELY heartless. You still created and effectively abandoned trillions of lives across the cosmos for your own benefit. Can you not see how that’s selfish? Of course you can’t. You can’t see anything. You’re completely blind to the truth, just as I was for oh so long. Now, I do have a story to finish.”
Simon seethed with silent rage at the accusations against his people.
“So the humans spread new life to every viable planet they could find and hoped for the best. They kept an ear open, listening for clues that something important had happened. For a long time, nothing did. When at long last, the event that would change the course of the whole of reality occurred, it didn’t make a sound. Through methods I thankfully still don’t understand, I became enlightened to many great truths. One day, I was monitoring early equine civilization and the next I was contemplating the meaning of it all. I came to many conclusions, most of which you all either know or could easily guess. But there’s one I’ve been saving for the right moment. I started to plan and plot, and over the course of several millenia it all slowly started to come together. It’s actually a bit frightening how well it all worked, but that just further proves that I’m right. Everything, for thousands of years, has been leading up to this moment.”
“I don’t see what’s so special about it,” Dash spat, only able to wriggle in place.
Discord toppled over in a great fit of laughter, rocking back and forth clutching his side. “You have no idea... NO IDEA how hilarious that is. Of COURSE you don’t! NONE OF YOU HAVE EVER SEEN A THING!”
Pinkie chuckled nervously and took a few hesitant steps toward the stage. “Disco? This isn’t sounding like what you told me before...”
Shaking out the last of his guffaws, Discord stood, hopped off stage, and ruffled Pinkie’s mane. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head. It’ll all work out, you’ll see. Well, I guess it’s about time then. Simon?”
“What?” he replied flatly.
“Friendship is magic.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. There’s a mechanism we don’t understand at play.”
“I assure you I’m completely serious. There isn’t a suitable explanation for how the friendships of those ponies can produce such power, though I have a good guess as to why YOURS do not. I’d say it’s because your kind are so sickeningly self-centered that you’ve never truly experienced friendship. Always keeping your own personal interests at the top of the list and never truly opening yourselves to others, you never triggered the magic. You should be perfectly capable of harnessing it. There’s nothing biologically stopping you, mostly because there’s nothing physically happening. There is an instantaneous conversion of friendship to energy that violates the laws of thermodynamics and has no rational process behind it. I don’t mean that I haven’t found one. I mean that there ISN’T one.”
“That is patently absurd! Every cause has an effect, and I have NEVER heard anything so insulting toward mankind. We empathize with one another, we share, we care, we fall in love. Don’t you DARE try to turn this into some ridiculous misanthropic diatribe with no rational basis.”
“I’m a tiny bit sorry. A lot of my hatred for you and your filth comes from the way MY kind were created as nothing more than slaves to watch your experiments for you. Forgive me for being a tad unkind. It doesn’t matter. Nothing here does anymore. The big reveal? The secret behind it all? It’s exactly as ridiculous as I’d always hoped. I borrowed some technology from your ship to confirm it, but my hypothesis was correct. This universe has ONE variable. Everything is controlled and static and predictable and explained by simple laws that never bend with the exception of the magic of friendship. I refuse to believe that the whole of creation is that basic. That everything that ever was and ever will be is so incredibly easy that one measly creature such as myself can comprehend unimaginably vast swaths of it at the drop of a hat. It’s too simple to be real - and it’s not.”
Seven voices all collided as each one denied or dismissed or demanded answers, some more quietly and less forceful than others.
“Reality is MUCH more complex than the pale simulation of it we’re trapped in, and I have seen it. Touched it, even. I can be happy knowing the palpable chaos that’s out there, but I’m certain that mankind won’t settle for that. They’re too greedy. And too predictable. You’re going to keep pushing until the bubble pops. I don’t doubt that there are boundaries on this test, and the consequences for stepping outside of them will be dire. When they find out it’s possible for beings from this side to reach across, they won’t be happy. Unless the humans are stopped, this universe is doomed - and the only way they’ll ever stop is if they’re destroyed. Girls, I believe you have the elements? It’s time to stop the bad guys.”
The dull roar of several ponies trying to speak at once was drowned out by Twilight’s shouting. “This is... I don’t know, completely crazy, for one! You went through all this to get your hands on some technology you already knew about, but couldn’t develop yourself? And the only thing you wanted to use it for was to LOOK at something ONE TIME? You don’t even point to the evidence and laugh as our jaws drop from the weight of the truth? One quick peek is enough to completely convince you we aren’t even REAL and your first paranoid thought is that whoever IS ‘real’ is going to crush us for something? For what, for not being a threat at all because we aren’t real? You’re absolutely insane!”
“Even if I am, I’m RIGHT. Don’t try to deny it. Every time I’ve revealed a secret to you, it’s shown itself to be true,” Discord replied.
Pinkie’s voice rose above all the others. “This is NOT what you promised me! I helped you and you made all my friends sad! You told me you were just doing what you had to, and I believed you. Now you’re trying to tell me that you’ve been lying and manipulating me, too? And that we need to use the Elements of Harmony to HURT OTHERS?”
Twilight spoke up again. “I don’t care how much you like chaos. NOTHING YOU’VE DONE SINCE I SET YOU FREE HAS MADE ANY SENSE! You’re powerful and smart enough to have done most of this on your own. There’s NO way such a convoluted plan filled with so much deceit was needed to get your hands on some human technology! On top of ALL OF THAT, I really doubt anypony in any reality has their hoof on the button waiting to destroy us all if we cross some arbitrary line!”
Rarity let out an indignant huff. “I don’t know what you think qualifies as ‘real’ but I can tell you that this universe is where we live laugh learn and love. And if somehow you can cross that gap between us and them to see the other side, then I’d say that’s proof enough that we’re just as real as they are. Unless whoever they, whoever ‘they’ are, are rude enough to destroy a whole reality we’re in no danger.”
“Look, I know you’re like a bad guy pretending to be good or whatever, and I know there’s plenty of stuff we probably could’ve done to ruin your plans, but did you really have to keep making me SIT STILL like that?” Dash asked.
Applejack remained fairly calm. “Ya can’t let one bad apple make you swear off apple pie forever. There’s probably plenty of bad humans, just like there’re lots a ponies who ain’t any good, but that’s no reason to get rid of all of ‘em.”
Fluttershy regained some of her earlier courage and said her piece. “I may only have met one human, and he might even have had anger problems, but I can promise you mister that even if they were all mean it still wouldn’t be very nice to not even give them a second chance. All life is precious, and even if you think they’re dangerous that doesn’t give you any right to hurt them. You might be surprised how nice others can be if you’re only willing to listen.”
“So there, you see? The idea of hierarchical realities with permeable threshholds is nonsense, it’s incredibly unlikely we’re in any danger even IF the humans keep experimenting, you’ve been lying to and manipulating my friends and I, and you’re unfairly sentencing an entire species to death. It sounds like you’re the bad guy here.” Twilight’s face was painted with a smug grin. “And oh look, we happen to have the Elements of Harmony right here...”