Sombra the Maid

by Shadowflash

Sombra's a Clean Freak

Dear Sir Sombra,

Based on recent events, and how much I've been hearing good things about you, I wish for you to attend to my castle. Yes, you read right, Sombra, my castle. I wish for you to come to Canterlot and show me how much magic you truly know, but, along the way, I wish for you to stop at 'Attire for Fires' and pick up an 'un costume de ménage'. The clerk who is there will give it to you promptly. I can't wait to see you.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

Canterlot. Oh, how I love this city. It's magnificent structure, how it's marble walls are built with pure gold, how even the streets beam sun into gentle rainbows! The high class society is nothing but posh here, but, everything else is just wonderful! I could sing to the heavens of Equestria if it meant I could stay forever!
These were my thoughts upon entering the grand city of Canterlot. I was hired to do some things for Princess Celestia, based on my magic ability. Who would've thought that would be possible? I was so excited to meet the mare who created Equus itself!
As I made my way through the marble streets, avoiding the idiots who think they're better than me, I approached a little shop. In the letter I was given by Celestia, it stated I must buy 'un costume de ménage', whatever that meant. The store clerk would kn ow.
Anyways, as I approached the shop, I could notice the sign was hanging off by a golden spit, made out of wood, most likely, and flapping in the wind. The sign read 'Attire for Fires'. It really didn't seem fitting, but, it was cool, I guess. The rest of the shop seemed to be made out of oak from the outside, just painted an ugly purple and white colour. Uhg, don't know why people paint it as such.
The doors to the store didn't seem to welcoming, either. No windows to display the insides, and no door knob. Well, whatever. I move to the door and push it open with my right hoof. As I enter, I get a much better look at the inside. There was a semi-decent golden lamp that overhang on the ceiling, and a couple chairs to my right and left, pushed up against the walls. Everything in front of me was racks and racks of clothing. I assumed it was a clothing story, by now.

"Ah, hello there. May I help you, sir...?" An orange stallion with a silver-gray mane was sitting at a small desk to my left. His eyes were a sky-blue shade, and really matched well with his coat.
"Sombra. Just Sombra is fine. And, yeah, you can help me." I said, as I pulled out the letter, to make sure I don't get the name wrong.
"I'm looking for an outfit called... 'un costume de ménage'... Here." I forked over the letter, to let him read it, and his expression changed from a smile to a frown, and then back again.
"Well, then. You must be the customer Celestia told me about. Here..." I saw him lean to his left and pull back up, revealing a black box and setting it on his desk.
"Celestia told me for you not to open it. So, please don't do so. It'll ruin the surprise." I nodded as he told me this, levitating the box in my purple aura.
"Thanks. Do I owe you, or...?" He shook his head as I asked.
"Was already paid for. Enjoy your time with Celestia." He gave back the letter, and I promptly hid it away. I opened the door to be outside once more.

I sighed and reveled in my glory. I was going to meet Celestia! Oh, I'm so giddy. Time to head over there. I started a full gallop through the city, no clue where I was heading. Eventually, I was just heading the direction the massive towers of the castle were. I eventually found my way to the castle, and smiled upon its structure.
They were standing at a large, ugly-purple door with a sun upon it. It looked more like a star (HA!) with all the points, but because of its yellow colour, it was a sun. Around the door were two, marble, pillars holding up a small balcony. Most likely it was used for speaking to subjects below. I made my way to the guards, and they stopped me with their wings.

"Halt. State your presence, and your name." One of the guards, wearing the typical golden armour of Celestia, and the typical white coat all of them had.
"Sombra, that's my name. I'm here to visit Celestia." I presented the letter to show my providence, and the guard nodded.
"Head inside. She is waiting for you." I smiled to him, but he just shook his head at me. I swear I heard him say something, but, I didn't catch it.

As I made my way through the large doors, I was greeted by the grand hall inside. A massive red-gold carpet was rolled upwards to a staircase, where the stairs spiraled upwards to the upper floors of the castle. The tiles of the floor around the carpet looked like plastered vinyl, but upon stepping on one, I found it to be marble, as well.
I ignored the rest of the scenery and started to walk forward. I was too busy to notice that Princess Celestia was sitting upon the staircase. I smiled and rushed to her glory, bowing immediately.

"Princess!" I said, smiling as I set down the black box.
"Ah, Sombra. I'm glad you're here. Ready to begin?" Celestia asked me. Her soothing voice was like the sound of nature. Calm, and at bliss.
"Awesome!" I stood back up, speaking gleefully to her, "I've prepared to show you all the spells I've learned through the course of my life, telekinesis, combat magic, alterati---" Celestia raised a hoof at me to stop me. I did so and raised a brow.
"You're not here for that. You're actually here to be a maid, Sombra." I widened my eyes in question.
"What." I said, and she just laughed.
"Look in the box, my little pony." I did, opening the black box. Inside, was all things tragic. Of all things to a stallion, none of us want to wear...
"A maid outfit?! WHAT?! I thought I was here to show you magic?!" I yelled, and she just laughed.
"Heavens, no. I've seen plenty of magic. You're here to clean my entire room. That's all I need you for." Celestia gave me a modest smile, but I was too angry.
"I'm not putting that on! I'm leaving! This is insu--" Celestia stopped me again.
"I'm afraid you have to stay. It's only cleaning my room. Wouldn't you be kind to do that to your ruler?" I sighed. Even if she is the ruler, she was being rude and mean... But, it was cleaning her room... I....
"Fine... I'll clean your room, and that's it! Then I'm out of here!" I can't believe I said that...
"Perfect! I'll show you the way. Put on your maid outfit and let's begin!" Celestia said, as I sighed.

I'm going to regret this...

"I look stupid." I said, as I walked into her room.
The maid outfit was firmly on me. Its silky black skirt with ruffled white material underneath made me feel exposed. Its shirt felt like it was choking my neck and the pouch under my stomach felt useless!

"You look adorable! Now, come, Sombra. Clean my room!" Celestia went over to her bed, which was a just a velvet couch with, at least, a "bajillion" pillows, and she laid down.

I sighed, and started to work. I had a brush held in my magic and I trotted around the room. Her room was fairly small, thankfully, but it was filled with so many crevices where dust could lurk. Bookcases were surrounding the room, and cleaning dust from every book would be a nightmare!
Don't even get me started on the fireplace! Soot builds up in that so fast, and she has that thing lit twenty-four-seven! Oh, and her carpet, her CARPET! It had so many dust bunnies and I think I smelled something similar to foal's vomit as I passed by it to reach the first bookcase!
I started to shove the feather brush into every nook and cranny there was on the bookcase. Every time I pulled it out of the crevice it was in, a storm of dust showered on me.I held it with my telekinesis so I could dispose of it with fire, or something. It was awful.
I repeated this process for every, and I mean every, book there was. I even removed some to make sure they were clean. She's a goddess and has a horrible habit of cleaning her own things. Honestly... I continued my work and made my way around each bookshelf. I felt it was necessary to leave the fireplace last, so, I went to the awful smelling carpet.
I rolled it up with my magic, and folded it (forcefully) twenty times or so. I saw that Celestia left out a bucket of soap and rinsing metal, so I began my work on the carpet by pushing it into the bucket. It sloshed water out of it, but this was necessary. I, technically, blended the piece of dung at least a billion times and pulled it out, scraping it against the metal to get rid of the suds that remained.
It smelled better, but needed to be dried off. So, I activated one of the spells I use to clean my own room at home. It's a 'Super Dry' spell, mostly used in culinary magic to dry out food, but, here it was necessary. The entirety of the carpet dried out in a matter of seconds as my magic burst sparkles of light.
After being satisfied, I set it down against the wall. This floor needed cleaning. So, I basically grabbed multiple brushes (that were, again, laid out for me) and started soaking them in a separate bucket of suds. Each brush was then scrubbing furiously against the floor. I could literally see the dust rising in clouds as they cleaned. Awful. Just awful.
Several minutes after scrubbing the floors, and the walls -- took the liberty in cleaning dust off the walls -- I put the brushes in the bucket and let them wash away their bacterial filth. Time for the fireplace... Uhg... I made my way to the fireplace, which was off, and looked up it. I could see the black soot given off from the burning wood, and it made me want to vomit.
I used my magic to scrape off what I could of the soot, but, I found that I'm going to need a brush for this one. It's pretty heavy duty. So, I floated another brush over to me, and started furiously scrubbing away at the soot. The black smoke it created was making me cough and irritating my eyes. I swore I heard Celestia giggle at me and after several minutes, I stopped. It was brand spanking new at this point, and I knew I was filthy!
My mane was perfect until after all this cleaning. Now it's literally filled with soot, dust, and most likely bunnies of soot and dust! The worst combination! UHG!

"There. I'm done! All done! Everything is clean!" I announced, standing in front of her and she just laughed at me.
"Well, you still have to clean the rest of the ca---"
"NOPE! I'm done!" I withdrew the maid outfit and threw it at her with my magic.
"Done! Done, done, done!" I ran out of there as fast as I could.
Whatever else she wanted me to do, I was definitely not doing it. She could live in her germ filled castle, but, I was going to find a place where germs are exterminated at microscopic level. I believe there was one place... The Crystal Empire? I'll go there. It seems clean...

Brief edit by: Thunder2140

You’re a poop, Shadowflash