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sorry it took so long, but this one is a bit longer though... i hope you all like it. leave a comment... seriously any comment, tell me about your day... I'm bored
Twilight had been perusing the market for about an hour now. She had bought milk, bread, parchment, and a small box of litmus paper. she was nearing the center of the market now to buy a dozen apples from her friend Applejack, who twilight knew would be working today with her brother.
As twilight approached the Apple family stall she was forced to circumvent a very large crowd of stallions, near every stallion in town. at the center of the crowd was some sort of... train? Twilight was about to investigate further when she noticed none other than Applejack waving her over to the apple family stall.
Twilight walked over and greeted her friend...
"Hi Applejack, what’s all that about?" She asked.
Applejack rolled her eyes and huffed a bit.
"Those darn Flim Flam brothers," she said, "seems they're out of the cider businesses and on to selling some kind of stallions beard cream."
Twilight raised an eyebrow.
"Really... that seems... dumb."
Applejack nudged her older brother.
"Yup...this big brother o' mine went and got himself some and now all of the stallions are out here."
Big Mac was happy his red coat hid his blushing... he just shrugged off his sisters mocking and nodded.
"Yup."
Mac produced the tin of foam and showed it to his sisters friend.
Twilight eyed the tin and asked Mac if she could take a look at it. mac nodded and handed it off to the Mare who turned it over in her hooves examining the tin for some kind of drug facts, or ingredients list, or something... but their was no such information other than the brand logo on the tin lid.
Twilight opened the tin up and looked at the contents... a slightly greenish white foam that smelled alkaline.
"What’s in this stuff?" Twilight asked.
Applejack and Mac exchanged glances and both shrugged...
"Don’t know..." they said.
Twilight looked concerned... this stuff could be anything.
"So all these Stallions are all buying this stuff without any idea what’s in it? why? the Flim Flam brothers are known swindlers! For all we know it could be dangerous! What kind of unholy catchy song did they sing to get everyone to ignore the risk!?"
"Easy sugar cube," said Applejack, “they offered a might generous product warranty for the stuff."
"A warranty?" Twilight asked.
"Well ay don't know what else to call it." Said Applejack rubbing the back of her head, "they say that if the stuff doesn’t work like they said, than they would shell out a hundred bits... seemed pretty confident in the stuff."
Twilight considered this... but was still a bit... hesitant.
"I'm going to go over and ask them what’s in this stuff," Twilight said handing mac his tin back.
Twilight walked over to the crowd and after some shoving and several...
"Excuse me, sorry..."'s
Twilight found herself face to face with two tall beaded ponies, who may very well have been twins.
The two stallions exchanged glances as Twilight approached... not sure of what to make of this vaguely familiar mare.
"how can we help you miss?" Said Flim with a smile.
"yes um..." Twilight was a bit thrown off by the beard, "I was wondering what kind of clinical testing you used on your product. I also was wondering if I could see an ingredients list."
Flim and Flam both frowned a little bit, but Flam walked over to the machine and pressed a little button. A large file cabin rolled open form the machine. After a moment or two of rifling through files produced a large manila folder containing several thick packets. The bearded Stallion levitated the thing to twilight.
"There you are Miss," said Flam, "that's trial testing procedure and results, checked and double checked. Along with an active ingredient list. Always available upon request."
The packet was about fifty pages, containing everything for mentioned and more... all written in big, overcomplicated language, made to confuse any normal pony... thankfully, Twilight was very well read.
"I'd also like a test sample if you don't mind," twilight said as she began to peruse the packet.
Flim and Flam both smiled then.
"Three bits a tin miss." They both said.
Twilight came out of her little reader’s world for a moment and blushed a bit. She passed three bits to the two brothers and took a tin of the Facial Follicle Facilitating Foam.
Twilight shoved the packet and tin into her saddle bag and properly forgot about her shopping excursion. The lavender mare walked back to the library and proceeded down to her lab, where she began to studiously read the packet well into the night.
...
The next day...
Big Macintosh Apple had never really been a proponent of sleeping in. in fact he was usually up with the sun for a day of hard work. But for some odd reason, on this day, November second, Big Mac felt content to sleep in... His mind drifting in and out of dream and lucid state with little distinction between the two.
It wasn't until nine O'clock that Applejack, who had gotten up and gotten to work, decided that enough was enough and went inside the Apple family homestead, up the stairs and bucked in the Macs bedroom door to roust her brother from his lazy slumber.
The door slammed open.
"Alright now, time to get up!” Shouted the Stetson wearing mare.
Mac just laid there on his undersized wooden bed, curled up under a big bunch of patchwork blankets, groaning slightly as he writhed in the drowsy stiffness of sleep.
Applejack grimaced at her big lump of a brother. Normally Mac was up for over an hour before Applejack, so the chance to wake her brother was a welcome bit of younger sibling empowerment too good to let pass by.
Applejack walked over to her brother’s bed took in a sharp breath and proceeded to shout at the very top of her twangy voice...
"RISE AND SHINE MACINTOSH!!!" she bellowed right at the lump of quilt that was Macs head.
That did it...
Mac shot up; throwing the blankets off himself, his crusty eyes open wide, his teeth grinding from the start his sister had given him.
Mac saw the source of the shout and his adrenal gland proceeded to un-knot itself as mac calmed down and glanced over to the clock on the wall. Realizing how late it had gotten, mac grunted and got up and out of the bed and quickly made it. Applejack just stood by... Mac was to grumpy and tired to wish her a good morning. With his bed done, the red workhorse sleepily trudged to the door to answer natures call in the bathroom down the hall.
Leaving Applejack stunned into silence in his room...
The mare stood rooted to the spot by macs bed, her brain trying to work out what exactly it had just seen. Applejack just stood stunned for a good minute before she finally shook her head and cleared her thoughts enough to stutter out an articulated word...
"W-w-what?!” She asked to herself.
...
Meanwhile, down the hall in the bathroom mac had just finished reliving himself and walked over to the sink to wash his hooves and brush his teeth. In his drowsy state Mac was working entirely on auto pilot. he stood up on two hooves leaning himself against the sink his head hung low in a half sleep as he ran some water over his hooves.
Mac grabbed his toothbrush (red one) from the little holder and put a little bead of toothpaste on the bristles. Mac held the little brush under the running water and brought it up to his mouth, brushing all his teeth right to left, and up and down...
Mac glanced up at his reflection in the mirror...
...
...
...
The toothbrush stopped moving and hung in macs slack jaw until it fell into the sink forgotten...
...
...
...
...
Mac was at an even greater loss for words that usual. For on his face Mac saw a great big brilliant...
"Big Mac, what in tar nation is that thing on your face!" shouted Applejack from the hall outside the bathroom, banging on the door several times before deciding to just burst in.
Her eyes widened as her earlier vision of her brother proved true. For on macs muzzle, was a shaggy, fully formed...
"Dag nab-bit what’s all this commotion?" Granny Smith shouted from the hall pocking her head into the bathroom. The elderly mare squinted her eyes at her two grandchildren for a second or two... There was Applejack in her Stetson... And there was Macintosh with a brand new, and snazzy looking...
"Why is everyone in the bathroom?" asked Applebloom from the hall. The youngest of the apple clan poked her head inside to see the commotion. She took in the sight and then gave a gasp in surprise worthy of Pinkie Pie. ”Big Mac!" the filly exclaimed, " when did you grow a..."
Just then Caramel, the farm hand, decided to check up on his bosses, who had left him outside without instructions.
"hay y'all alright in here, i was just..." the tan stallion poked his head inside the bathroom to see what the commotion was... "Shoot, Big Mac, that's a right fine looking..."
Just then Braeburn Apple, in town for the Apple family reunion, appeared down the hall to announce his arrival from Appleloosa... "Morning y'all, what’s the..."
Pretty soon it was the whole apple clan, all lined up in the hall, down the stairs, out the door, all waiting to see what the big commotion was about up in the bathroom of the Apple family homestead. Each on popping their head in, asking what was going on, only to stop mid-sentence to marvel at Big Macintosh, only to be interrupted in their praise by the next curious onlooker in the line.
Mac really wished he had remembered to flush the toilet...
But thankfully, most of the family hadn't noticed being far to distracted by Big Macintosh's brand new, fully grown, thick, orange...
...
Meanwhile
On the other side of Ponyville, in the upper floor of the carousel boutique, Sweetiebell suddenly jolted up from her sleep, through her hooves in the air, and shouted...
"OH COME ON!!!" at the top of her lungs. The little filly then blinked, realized she was wide awake, and decided to go downstairs to breakfast. When Rarity asked her about the outburst at the breakfast table, Sweetie replied that she had been in the middle of a recurring dream where she got her cutie mark, only to wake up.
...
Meanwhile
Back at sweet apple aches.
Big Macintosh had a full beard! His very first! It hung from his face, the same color and thickness of his orange mane, looking positively awesome. Mac was so happy with it he decided to leave it unstyled. The red workhorse was ecstatic...
The Flim Flam brother’s facial follicle facilitating foam had worked!
Mac Decided to go and see the Flim Flam Brothers again to say thank you... But first mac reopened his tin and reapplied the foam.
...
Meanwhile
Sugar cube corner was just coming to the halfway point of the morning breakfast rush. But Mr. Cake was in much too good a mood to be stressed by the numerous orders for zap apple jam filled confections. He was too happy, for adorning his face, just under his nose was a big lively curly cue mustache. It had sprouted up overnight, with only a single application of the Flim Flam brother’s facial follicle facilitating foam.
Mrs. Cake had thought her husband a fool for having purchased it yesterday...
"Honestly, why waist our money on something so silly?" she had said, just the night before. After defending the purchase to his wife, she had even gone so far as to laugh at her husband.
But who was laughing now!?
Mr. Cake chuckled to himself as he kneaded more dough... he had never had a stache before; so far it had been nothing but amazing.
Outside the bakery kitchen, in the main room, Mrs. Cake vented to her employee Pinkie Pie.
"Honestly," she complained as she handed a bag of assorted muffins to a walleyed mail mare regular, "it’s one thing to
throw our money away on something silly... I understand that, we all do it. But he looks so ridicules!"
Pinkie Pie grinned at her boss as she packed a box of donuts.
"I don't know," she said, "he looked pretty snazzy, you’re a lucky mare Mrs. Cake." The hyperactive pink puffball said in a giggly voice.
"You don't have to kiss it..." Mrs. Cake deadpanned.
Pinkie giggle snorted at the prospect.
Just then Spike walked into the shop and waved over at the two. Mrs. Cake glared at the hair above the baby dragons lip... first her husband and now the local dragons! They were mocking her now!
Pinkie Pie just grinned.
"Hay spike, love the stache, what’s up?"
Mr. Cake walked out of of the kitchen with a small bowl of scones in his teeth. He placed the bowl on the counter for display and was about to retreat back into the kitchen, until he noticed Spike.
The gangly yellow stallion brightened as he saw spikes mustache.
"What’s up Spike, that's a great mustache you got there. How ever did you come by it?" He said.
Spike regarded the Stallion and saw that he too was a mustache aficionado.
"Likewise Mr. Cake, actually that's why I'm here, twilight gave me this with her magic, i was wondering if you had any of those cinnamon rolls that she likes so much?" Spike asked.
"oh yeah, we still have some, Pinkie Pie could you...?" Mr. Cake asked.
Pinky pie appeared next to Spike with a box of a dozen fragrant cinnamon rolls. (Not a baker’s dozen... as twilight tended to
freak out with such things)
"That’s sweet, how is twilight anyways?" asked Mrs. Cake.
Spike furrowed his brow...
"Actually, she’s was up all night in her lab, I haven't seen her yet today." Said the baby dragon.
Spike paid for the treats and walked home.
Oh if he only knew what horrible fate awaited him there...
i know, i know, when does the action hit?! well it's coming! just stick with it...