Too Good To Be True
By NocturneD
Edit by Knotwist
It was a long trip but finally Shining Armor and Mi Amore Cadenza made it to Canterlot. Running the Crystal empire was no easy task, but for these two, they loved Canterlot so much they wanted to share their news with every pony of Equestria. Just like how their wedding was televised all over, could not escape the hype. The two had a very strict schedule once they arrive at the castle. The love they wanted to share with every pony.
Meanwhile back at the Sparkle household. The rest of the family are pacing around like crazy, wondering if they should even bother. They were handed the schedule by one of the royal guards the other day. Strictly at one pm, Cadence and Shining Armor were going to make an announcement to all of Equestria on television. The Sparkle family had just enough time to speak with the wedded couple before they made the announcement. Twilight looked at the clock, it was eleven thirty right now. She looked at her parents, they made their decision and decided they were going to be up front about it. Twilight took her findings and her proof to show to them, she really loved the both of them dearly, but it was for the good of the Sparkle family and their reputation.
The friends were not feeling too good about the news they received. How they betrayed their friend and went behind their back. Could not hold the rumor inside and passed it off like gossip. Worse is, that they told their other friends and then those friends told their friends. The next day it was everywhere, even when you pass a rumor along it tends to get changed up as it gets passed along. Started off as Shining Armor and Cadence being half siblings then somehow got back to the group as Shining Armor and Cadence somehow being Siamese twins at birth and want to marry each other just so they could be together. Spike looked at the rest of the friends, pretty ticked that they would go off and tell something like this when they know it was making Twilight go crazy. They met up at the library again just to get ready and watch the news, waiting for the announcement.
"This is stupid. We should be there in Canterlot with Twilight giving her support." Applejack slammed her hoofs on the hardwood floor.
"Nothing we really can do darling. We told every pony about Twilight's family dilemma and surely the press are going to ask about it." Rarity sighed, "And I sold out my friend's problem for a lifetime VIP pass."
"You what?!" Applejack shouted.
"Now now." Rarity tried to ease her way out, "I'm allowed to bring guests." Applejack frowned and then Rarity defended herself, "Oh don't give me that look. You are just as bad telling Big Mac then he told your cousin. And then your cousin told every pony in Appleloosa!"
"Well we can't do anything now." Applejack said, "Sure hope the princess and Shining Armor don't announce what I think they're going to say."
Back at the castle, the main hall was being filled with reporters and spectators. Shining Armor and his wife had plans to have lunch with the princess but something urgent came up. The lunch and conference with the press meeting time got switch around at the last minute. Celestia already filled some of the reporters in as Cadence told her through a letter. A joyous occasion, but to the reporters they were too busy concentrating on another story. One especially that was brought up suddenly. So Celestia told them to take questions first instead of announcing anything yet. Little did the pair know, they did not know of the rumor floating around. And that's what is on the reporters minds. They were disgusted but none the less wanted the story.
Shining Armor and Cadence walked up to the podium. Tapped on the microphone to test it and spoke, "Hello everypony. Cadence and I are thankful for you all to come as we want to share with the world our special news but to my understanding, it got out before we could say anything and really spread through out Equestria quickly. I take it you all have questions. So we'll spend a good amount of time answering your questions. So feel free to ask."
A pony raised his arm. Shining pointed to him, "You there."
The pony stood up, "News Flash with channel six. When did you two find out about this?"
Shining put his arm around Cadence, she answered instead, "Oh about a couple weeks ago."
Another pony stood up, "Jim Phillips, The Dave Weatherton post. This did not have an affect on your marriage at all?"
Shining rubbed his cheek against Cadence's, "If it did anything it made it stronger than before and we're happy about it."
Some of the reporters scowled by the response. Another pony raised his hoof and stood up, "Dave Weatherton, Jim Phillips News. So you two do not mind the public thinking poorly of this? Since its considered morally wrong?"
Shining and Cadence frowned and looked at each other. Cadence answered, "No... I don't understand how our joy is wrong."
Another pony stood up, "Have you told your family yet?"
"Well. We were supposed to tell them in private but there was a mix up at the times." Shining answered normally, still a bit irked by the last question. "Hoping so my mom, dad and sister hear it first."
Another pony raised his hoof but this time was in a wheel chair, "Larry Flint here. Question for the princess. Wanna pose in my hustler magazines?"
"No." Cadence frowned, "Next question."
"You there." Shining pointed to another pony.
"Oh sorry. Just stretching." The pony apologized.
“Okay you then.” Shining Armor pointed to a pony that raised his forearm.
“Yeah I’m with Guns and Ammo.”
“Next question.” Cadance grabbed the microphone not letting the gun pony ask his question.
"News Flash again. Usually these acts are frowned upon. How can royalty allow this?"
Cadence raised an eyebrow, "I don't think it should make a difference really."
"Yeah I'm the pony who made the Hot or Not site. How would you rate your mother and your sister?"
"I'm not very familiar with that site actually..." Shining rolled his eyes to think for a moment, "Well if ten is positive then yeah I give them both a ten."
The crowd wanted to gag, some talked among themselves in disgust. Shining and Cadence blinked.
"How long have you known each other? Did you know of this... particular joy back then?"
"Cadence and I met when we were smaller. Back then it was not much but it grew into what we are today. Sometimes we kissed to practice back then, but now it feels legit." Shining smiled.
The crowd was silent.
"What do you say to these claims of your... Closeness to your wife and family?"
"Well it feels like she's part of the family." Shining answered, "My family welcomed her in open arms. My sister Twilight thinks of my wife as of like an older sister, my parents think of her as another daughter."
Some ponies let out a chuckle.
"So you two are not sickened by each other after learning this?"
"Why would we be?" Cadence asked. "It just made me love Shining Armor even more."
“You put that down payment for a trailer yet?” Another random pony shouted.
"You two should not even be allowed to breed with each other!" A random pony yelled.
"And you two are not disgusted yourselves? Not scared of what any pony thinks?"
"Think that was asked earlier." Shining pointed out. He noticed the crowd was really disgusted with their joy, "If I did not know any better I think all of you are here just to spite us." Cadence was crying from all the harsh questions asked as Shining tried his best to comfort her. "Well ponies of Equestria, Cadence and I are..."
---
Outside the main hall, Twilight and her parents were running through the halls. Would have made things easier if she were to teleport herself into the conference room but her magic for some reason was dwindling ever since she performed the paternity spell. For some reason, they were not told that the lunch and conference times were switched. They ran and ran. Until they came up to the door and pushed the doors open, and shouted, "WAIT!"
The main hall was filled various reporters who looked back at her, snapping pictures of her sudden intrusion.
"Hey Twily!" Shining called.
"Shining you can not make that announcement!" Twilight shouted. "Because I have something that you two need to know!"
"I don't think it matters anymore Twilight." Shining shouted back, "These ponies here are treating me and Cadence like we're sick ponies!"
"JUST CALL OFF THE REST OF THE CONFERENCE! RIGHT NOW!" Twilight was angry.
"Would some pony please tell me what's going on?!" Shining stepped away from the podium.
"We just wanted to share our happiness with you all in telling everypony I’m pregnant!" Cadence cried.
Twilight and her parents froze. The rest of the room was silent as well. Some even started throwing up.
"Oh come on, what's wrong with all of you?" Shining shouted.
Twilight ran up to Shining Armor whispered into his ear. "What's that Twilight? You learned a new spell?" She whispered again, "And it acts like a paternity test?" She whispered some more, "You tested it on your friends and family?"
"STOP REPEATING WHAT I SAY!" Twilight shouted in his ear.
"OW!" Shining rubbed his ear. "Twilight I think you're acting too rash. Just tell me what is so important."
"CELESTIA DAMN IT! DAD IS CADENCE'S FATHER! MAKING HER OUR HALF SIBLING!" Her voice echoed into the microphone.
Shining Armor and Cadence froze. Not saying anything. Not even batting an eye.
The perverted handicapped pony moved his wheel chair up to Velvet, "Hey baby you have a nice wiggle. Want to be in a movie? A little girl on girl action with your daughter up there?"
"Ugh... No." Velvet was disgusted.
"Pfft... Good luck with that. I was barking up that tree for twenty eight years." Orion frowned.
Celestia walked up behind Twilight, "I think we need to discuss something young lady. Among with your family and even my own."
"But... but how does everypony know about this?" Twilight asked. Worried about her brother's state of mind.
Celestia sighed, "I received a letter from Spike and your friends... But most importantly I learned something interesting about your visit with Scroll Keeper earlier. Oh also your friends blabbed to every pony in Ponyville and it spread like wildfire..."
Twilight scrunched her face. Her top teeth biting down into her lower lip as she was ready to shout, "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..."
Back at the library. The friends were watching the conference on the television as it had to cut to a commercial break as Twilight burst into the conference room.
"Wow." Pinkie stuck her head out the window, "That is the loudest swear word I have ever heard."