“The diary,” she muttered as she rubbed her hooves together in anticipation. Her smile almost seemed wider than her whole face. Her horn already glowed with delight.
Finally, with both Scootaloo and Applebloom dragged off into a special planting project with Applejack, Sweetie Bell had her chance. Intellectually, Sweetie wondered if the Apple family seriously could get magically-modified peach trees to grow on their land, feeling more than a little curious. Yet she had much higher priorities just a few buildings over.
It only took a few seconds for Sweetie to slip out of Rarity’s place and make her way to the Fluffle Heights apartment complex where Scootaloo and her aunt stayed. Sweetie already felt pangs of some kind of naughtiness flashing through her senses as she crept into the apartment building lobby.
Scootaloo’s aunt— whatever her name was, Sweetie kept forgetting it— always left a certain side door in the complex unlocked, and Scootaloo’s own laziness probably meant her bedroom stayed unlocked as well. Sweetie made her way in and trotted through a bunch of hallways, hunting for the number with Scootaloo’s bedroom. The young pegasus had only spent a few weeks there, but she talked about it as being just as good as home. Sweetie just knew that those diary notes that Scootaloo worked on every so often during those Crusader adventures— pieces of tightly guarded paper shoved into saddlebags and then totally hid afterward— would be a cinch to find.
Sweetie just couldn't wait another day to find out the truth. What the hay sucks up Scootaloo’s time anyways, making her just sit and stare at the sky while writing? Why does she make such goofy, happy smiles? She took a gulp as she came across a public recreation room, knowing Scootaloo’s bedroom could hardly be far. Oh, is that Room 626? Sweetie’s heart started to race as she spied the exact door and made her way over, taking a little breath before pushing the door open.
“Hmmm,” Sweetie murmured, her eyes dotting all about the cramped room. Naturally enough, it all looked like a total mess. Sunlight bounced off the piles of glossy comic books scattered on the floor and shot out onto clumps of dirty clothes across dusty dark brown dressers. The sheets mashed into a cocoon-like ball in the middle of the bed. “Well, I guess Scootaloo sure did put her stamp on the place pretty quick.”
She stepped out onto the fuzzy greyish-white carpet and peeked under the bed, seeing an odd assortment of things from tennis balls to gloves to bottles of lotion to half-bent toothbrushes. How can I find anything in this mess? Flicking her ears back, she leaned over and rested her back against the bed. She’s smarter than she gets credit for.
At least, I mean secret-y-keeping-y smart. Not book smart. But that’s still a, like, type of smart. I remember when she tried to sneak that weird alien bug into that one class presentation to surprise Snails and… Sweetie blinked, trying to focus. Don’t lose my train of thought! Come on, Scootaloo would hide her diary notes well-enough, especially in this mess, but no too well. It wouldn’t be as obvious as under the bed. But it would have to be like that close to her, so that she could read it back real easy only taking a second to find it. Right?
Sweetie picked herself up and stood up on the bed, perching her body over and glaring at the end table. Various bottle of water decorated the wooden counter-top, shimmering a bit in the reflected sunlight. Sweetie scanned across the pieces of action figurines and bunches of collectable playing cards nearby on the nearby. Maybe… maybe somewhere like high above?
She threw herself backwards onto the pillows, looking out straight up. I wonder if someone ever dusted this room… in this century. Something just felt wrong. Sweetie froze for a moment, just wiggling her nose to breathe through the dusty, stuffy bedroom air. She shifted a few inches to the left. She shifted to the right.
“Hey, wait a moment!” Sweetie remarked, flipping about and standing up on top of the bed once again. She picked up the largest pillow with her teeth and slid it down to her chest. Eyes opening widely, she slipped off the plain white pillowcase and found what she had been looking for. “Jackpot!”
Sweetie stepped off of the bed and made her way to the door, holding a batch of simple lined papers with Scootaloo’s scribbled notes tightly against her belly. Hidden in the pillowcase? Hidden in plain sight? Good work, Scootaloo, but not good enough! Sweat had already popped up across her forehead, her cheeks flushed. She hadn’t realized doing something so wrong to one of her best friends in the whole world could just feel so thrilling, so satisfying.
Grabbing a derelict, unopened bottle of lemon iced tea from the nearby hallway table, she held herself still and stuck out her ears. Everything seemed quieter than a mouse. Scootaloo seemed just as busy with the planting as she had said, far away from the apartment complex. Sweetie grinned, still sneaking about the hallway for a moment to make sure that absolutely no one was around, and she finally parked herself upon a bean bag chair in the edge of the living room.
With her drink at the ready, and her backside comfortably pressed deep into the fuzzy green blob of a chair, Sweetie had a fun afternoon ahead of her. She laid out Scootaloo’s pages right across in front of her and picked up the latest one. Sweat slid right down her cheeks onto her shoulders. Desire already filled up her hooves.
Love Confessions Part I
By Scootaloo
“Oh, my,” Sweetie remarked, “I’ll finally know who it is. Snails, Snips, gosh, maybe even an adult stallion?” Her body almost quivered with anticipation. “This is going to be so— great.” Her voice squeaked at bit at that last word, her mane flopping as she held the paper up.
D is the Delicious muffins that fill her bakery
E is the Ease of… her ease… for being like all easy-breez-e-y and stoof with friends
R is the Redici… Redi… Readic… Redik…. hold on imma look this up
The writing trailed off as line broke into what looked like a chocolate stain.
Ridiculous, our love… it’s so crazy… because I am. Crazy. In love. Love crazy.
P is for the Power of her wings. She’s so strong and so fast, just like Rainbow Dash but she has the heart of some kind of goddess or something like from that one comic book, what’s it called, with like the bad colt has like tentacle arms with four eyes but two of his eyes are on his tentacle arms which like make no sense because like then when he punishes you he hurts his eyes which like hurts bad because he’s like the worst supervillian every and I hate Lippy Liefield the cartoonist because he sucks but he makes Sonia Spring who’s just like my love because like, ah, what was I talking about again
The text ended with a messy doodle of a grey flying creature escaping from a trap filled with long, throbbing hard and soaking wet tentacles.
Oh, yeah, I’m talking about who else would I be talking about MY LOVE
MY LOVE
Power of her wings! I love her wings! They’re like all gray and long and strong and kind of like Rainbow Dash except that I still like Rainbow Dash a lot but she’s all like distant and like is all “20% cooler” whereas my love is like all soft and doesn’t know how beautiful she is so she puts herself down and stuff but then I like want to HUG my love even more.
She’s like “Oh, look at my not normal eyes, I’m so not beautiful and not pretty and not perfect marefriend for any mare because my eyes and I break stuff and don’t love me” and then she winks her eyes when she makes frowny faces but that just makes her like EVEN CUTER
I want her to fly me to Cloudsdale and marry me! I even know what dress I’ll pick! I like talked to Rarity about this one yellow dress that like could fit me and I looked at it and I thought of having my love next to me and rubbing my side with her warm feathers stroking my body with them and then my thoughts made me kind of tingly in that area between my legs and I didn’t know what to do but I didn’t touch me between my legs because like I didn’t wanna yet until I got home??? Is that right, diary????
“Oh, gosh,” Sweetie muttered, a sickly yet deeply curious feeling bubbling up inside of her. “Scootaloo… no. It can’t be.” She shut her eyes, putting her front hooves on her blushing cheeks. “You haven’t fallen for who I think you’ve fallen for. It would just— just— make no sense.”
Y is for… hmmm… uh… well… I wish Sweetie Belle was here
Sweetie froze reading mid-sentence, holding the paper over her head and hardly even breathing. “It’s okay,” she whispered, “I just, wow, I just have to read on with this.”
She knows what letters start and end words and stuff, stupid bookworm (No not really stupid I love you Sweetie Belle! I can’t wait for you to be best mare at my wedding with my love!)
Anyways…
It is for whY? Why can’t I be with my love? Why can’t her powerful but so tender gray wings be around me right now, holding me close right up to her body heat and like with her lips right by my head and her amazing not normal eyes looking at me with those big like colors in them that shine like from pure kindness and stuff
And that spells D-E-R-P-Y!
My love. My one. My everything.
=> Scootaloo
“Oh, this is bad,” Sweetie remarked, letting the paper fall from her hooves. She started up at the ceiling and sucked in a deep breath. “Bad. Bad— bad— bad!” She seemed to shrink further into her bean bag chair as various thoughts and feelings swelled up inside of her. Scootaloo hasn’t even had her first kiss yet. I think. And she’s in love with a grown-up. And a mare. And a… a… and it’s… Derpy.
Sweetie had seen the happy, ditzy mare delivering the mail and otherwise having fun about town many times. She could never recall seeing Scootaloo and Derpy ever even being together, let alone having some kind of special moment. Derpy seemed like a good flier, sure, if she could manage to avoid crashing into things. Derpy’s eyes looked kind of cute to Sweetie. They looked weird, but weird in a pretty way. Still, though, just the very thought— Scootaloo lying with Derpy wrapping around her like a sleeping dog on its bone— made Sweetie want to laugh hysterically.
Love Confessions Part B
By Scootaloo
Hey fans! I mean, hey diary, hah, how’s it going?
It’s like our two week anniversary (I just looked up this word just for this occasion) for when I like had my wings hurt a bit from crashing the scooter into that cart and stuff and having Derpy like pick me up and hold me and then take me back to Nurse Redheart and then— oh yeah clopping a drum roll— and she KISSED ME
Kiss me better before dropping me *oh celestia*
So, to commem…. commemmmer.. commmemmar… So, to show my happy feelings about this moment, I wrote a fanfiction!
Enjoy fans, hah
===> BEGIN STORY THING <===
Derpy was just finished the mail delivery and looking down saw that there was none letters in her bag. The wind blew threw her awesome long mane and like scattered it in the air to be like shined light in and stuff. She opened her mouth and said “No letters in my bag, yay, time for having fun” because it was time for having fun now.
She jumped off of the grounds and her wings beat back and she smiled a happy smile that made happy corners on her happy face with happy dimples on her happy and cheeks with had pink shades of happy. She flew threw the air and then her tail blew and it waggled and it teased like with the air going through and she like had her plot up in the air and the tail looked to like draw attention to it because it was so curves filled and shape-y shape filled.
And then Derpy was flying over a body of waters but she was stopped when she looking because her eyes saw the water and the other mare in the water saw here. At first the other mare water thing was happy like Derpy was happy but then it was sad and Derpy was sad.
“Oh, my eyes,” Derpy said because she was looking at her eyes and feeling ashamed. “I feel so ashamed for being not normal.”
So she was not sad no more or was now sad or whatever so then she flew over to the area with the foals played. “Oh, I feel so alone, because my eyes,” Derpy whispered while screaming. She flew up and down in a square air shape which is a move that like only Rainbow Dash can do but Derpy can do it to and (maybe Fluttershy but I have not ever been seen that so whatever). But Derpy was not like Dash because she had a big heart with kindness to things and being humble while not bragging and was more better and thus.
(PLEASE don’t hate me Rainbow Dash I love you forever and always will but I don’t want to be kissed by you or anything because I don’t love in that way and the idea of you kissing me is just gross because you like eat that spicy stuff and stuff and your lips would probably tickle my hooves and stuff while Derpy eats sugary muffins and like her kisses are like SO DIFFERENT, not that I would know because you never kissed me Dash
But back to the fanfiction)
So Derpy was feeling sad so she like flew too close to the ground and stuff and wasn’t paying attention. So then she crashed into a tree “as she is wont to do” like Sweetie would say.
“Hey,” Sweetie interjected, “I don’t say that. I only have said ‘as she is wont to do’ like three times. And that’s in like the past week.” She wiggled the page for a second. “Don’t act like I talk like a Canterlot aristocrat or something.”
And Derpy would have gone through the bushes and been like hurt but then our hero Scootaloo was there. She leapt out of her scooter and went through the air like powered by the chains of destiny and so on to grab Derpy and like push her out of the way of the prickly bushes.
“Oh, hey, you kind of saved me,” said Derpy because Scootaloo kind of saved her. “What’s your name again?”
“My name’s Scootaloo.” Scootaloo told her name.
“Well, that’s nice,” Derpy said, “I thought you wouldn’t like me because most ponies don’t like me because that.” She didn’t have to say her eyes because she put her hooves above her eyes and made like an ashamed face with her ears bending into mushrooms like.
“No, I love them. I love you,” said Scootaloo. She like grabbed her mouth because she like didn’t know if she should have said to say the last sentence in there quotation marks.
“Well, if you like me that much, can you help me fix my wings from crashing in the tree?” Derpy answered. “They are kind of messed up.”
The two of them went into a secluded spot in the forest play area where Big Mac and Rarity go to kiss and do adult stuff when they like should be watching the foals out in the main forest area but they’re not because it’s adult-kissy time. Not kiss-kisses but the secret adult-kisses. But now there was no Rarity and it was adult-kissy time for Scootaloo!
“Oh, hey, let me lie down,” said Derpy. And she lied down. She poised her body above this patch of moss with her wings up and motioned for Scootaloo to rub all through her feathers. She also had her hooves stretched out so she looked all like ready to be dominated and stuff with like her mane and tail hairs spread out on her grey curves.
Scootaloo looked at Derpy like Big Mac would a platter of ten fresh apple fritters and just jumped out. She reached out with her hooves and started to move them all through Derpy’s great pretty gray feathers.
“Oh, my feathers!” Derpy moaned and spat as her ears grew longer because of her feathers being touched. Scootaloo went on and like her hooves weren’t enough. Derpy knew that too, so then Scootaloo was licking with her mouth Derpy’s feathers. And then like they were touching and rubbing like whole bodies.
“But, my eyes?”
“But your eyes. I wish I could kiss your eyes. They are so pretty. They should be kissed. At least I can kiss your wings.” And Scootaloo was kissing Derpy’s wings. And like that wasn’t enough though.
“Oh, no, you want to do adult stuff with me,” said Derpy because she knew that Scootaloo wanted to do adult stuff with her. “But I don’t know if your ready.”
“I’m totally ready,” said Scootaloo, standing above Derpy and although she was small she like was dominating and stuff with Derpy like a wild wolf-girl / girl-wolf holding her like fox prey or whatever prey wolf-girls eat. “After all, I just got my PROSTATE!”
“Oh, gosh!” Derpy yelled. She curled around on the ground and had her backside presented to Scootaloo kind of but still was bent over so that Derpy’s face was exposed so she was like in a pretzel shape. “But you’re so young to get your prostate! Most girls have to be like my age!”
“My prostate dropped like two days ago, seriously,” said Scootaloo. She made like a proud face with her nose sticking out long and her teeth bending like fangs. “I was trying to get my Crossbow using Cutie Mark but I accidentally shot out the lights and spilled the potion on me from fumbling in the dark that I swiped from Twilight and then I heard a plink or something sound.” She smiled even wider. “And then I looked down at my chest and I saw my thick yellow and orange prostate had dropped.”
“So then what are you waiting for, she-wolf?” Derpy asked with her cute messed-up eyes winking, and she like plopped her hooves in the air again like a bit of prey. And then Scootaloo like felt so nervous and stuff because she had never had adult-kisses. But her she-wolf instincts kicked in.
“RAWR!” Girl-wolf Scootaloo yelled out as she jumped on top of Derpy and started adult-kissing her.
And then it ended and then they got married later.
==>Story Complete<==
Sweetie looked over at the rest of the papers, which went on in such odd detail. Why? Why did I have to read this! And, gosh, it goes on for page after page! Why did I have to be so curious, ugh… She shook her head before sorting the various notes back into a neat pile. Sliding herself out of the bean bag chair, Sweetie let out a deep, long sigh.
“I just don’t know,” she muttered to herself, walking back through the hallway over to Scootaloo’s adopted bedroom. She held her head down, staring at the carpet with the diary notes clutched behind her back, as she tried to think. “Honestly, this is too weird for me, Scootaloo—”
“Yeah?” called out a familiar voice in front of her.
Sweetie felt as if every last drop of blood had drained from her as Scootaloo herself stepped out of the door to her bedroom into the hallway. The filly pegasus had on a confused look on her face, her collapsed scooter leaning up against the door jam. Sweetie tried to keep her teeth from chattering as she stood up straight and looked over, barely maintaining eye contact.
“Oh, h-h-h-i th-th-ere,” Sweetie muttered, trying to keep it together. She slid herself over against the wall, with the diary notes totally hidden behind her back. “B-b-ack e-earl-y?”
“Oh, yes,” Scootaloo replied, making a light chuckle, “guess that I didn’t really help gardening after all. I suppose Applejack will probably just ask some bigger colt for help after all, heh…” She rubbed a hoof against the door jam and slide her head to the side. “Can’t say I wasn’t happy to have turned out to be really bad at it, after all, I’ve got important things to do— action figures to pose and comic books to read, you know!”
“Just… just make an excuse to get out of here…” Sweetie whispered to herself, shifting along the hallway in the opposite position of Scootaloo with her hooves still behind her back.
“Are you okay? You look so sweaty?”
Sweetie rapidly nodded. Just get away from here and you can return them later! Come on!
“Just curious,” Scootaloo continued, sitting down upon the ground and letting a look of suspicion creep up over her face. “What’s that you’ve got there?”
“Got… w-w-where?” Sweetie chirped. She blinked for a second, feeling sweat slipping across all four of her hooves. She heard a light fluttering sound for a moment. “I—”
“That,” Scootaloo said flatly, pointing right between Sweetie’s bottom hooves.
“Oh, you mean this,” Sweetie muttered, looking straight down and seeing the dropped diary notes on the floor underneath her. “Well, I… can… ahh...”
*Slam!*
In just a split-second, Sweetie felt herself rammed up against the door jam with Scootaloo holding her up like a crumpled napkin in Scootaloo’s hooves. Sheer intensity burned in Scootaloo’s eyes, tears already welled up on her face. Sweetie’s mouth just hung open as she could barely move.
“I hate you!” Scootaloo cried out, and she closed her eyes as the tears went on like waterfalls. “I’ll hate you forever!”
“Please!” Sweetie burst out. Before she could say another world, she felt herself pushed right through the hallway right out through the side door into the street. Everything seemed in bathed in some kind of weird gray light with moves going in either slow motion or fast speed. Sweetie felt so horribly, with it all playing in her mind like a bad movie.
The door slammed shut behind her. Sweetie took one look at the surprisingly dead side street up ahead of her and turned right around. She hopped up against the door and crawled upon it almost like a cat.
“Please, Scootaloo! I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!” Sweetie called out.
“Go away,” Scootaloo moaned through the wood in between gigantic sobs.
“Scootaloo!” Sweetie went on, digging her hooves into the door repeatedly. “I don’t just need to say I’m sorry! I need to say that I want to help you!”
“Oh, Sweetie,” Scootaloo groaned back, clearly not believing a word.
“I want to help you! I really do! I promise, together, we can do it!” Sweetie declared, trying to keep back her own tears. She didn’t quite know where her feelings started, but pure conviction seemed to shoot all up her sides. “Derpy will be yours! I promise I’ll do my best to help!”
The door flung open. Caught by surprise, Sweetie banged against the former-wood-empty-air and fell right through, collapsing upon the floor. Her sprawled body let out an ‘eep’.
One hour later…
Thick globs of chocolate oozed out of the foals’ ears as they stumbled through the front door of Derpy’s house. Sweetie held her chocolate-coated up to her eyes and did her best to scrub the sugary fluid off, doing her best to breathe. The whole world seemed to have turned to chocolate— sticky stuff dripping across her mane, tail, hooves, nose, chest, and everything in between.
“I just don’t know what went wrong!” Derpy called out as she held up her front hooves and shrugged. The two foals looked back at the pretty pegasus, her mane wiggling against the door frame.
“I’m sorry. I can’t hear you,” Scootaloo muttered, nudging her brown goop encrusted head upon her shoulder. “My ears are filled with caramel.”
“Cutie Mark Crusader Confectionary Artists is a bust then,” Sweetie said to herself, wondering if Rarity had a spell for cleaning out one’s personal cavity areas. Still, Sweetie had to blame at least half of it on Derpy and that gray mare’s flagrant disregard for potion safety procedures. Sweetie looked out at the breezy, picturesque field out in front of Derpy’s house with the Schoolhouse off in the far left distance.
Scootaloo looked back at Derpy’s door as it slowly shut, and the heartbroken young mare stuck her head in her front hooves. She seemed to shrink into a small ball on the front lawn, sucking in deep breaths. Sweetie pulled up beside her and rubbed the poor pegasus’ sides. Scootaloo just let out a tiny, pained groan.
“Hey, so,” Sweetie began, one eye on her friend and another at the Ponyville Schoolhouse, “have you tried being, ah, ‘hot for teacher’ instead? Lusting for Cheerilee instead would at least be…” She heard a huge crashing sound coming out from inside Derpy’s house, probably in the mare’s messed-up kitchen. “Safer.”
The End