"A witch. You've got to be shitting me." I said, flabbergasted.
"Actually, that explains some things" replied Syntax.
"What's a witch?" asked Twilight irritably, obviously annoyed that her questions were growing faster than any answers were. No doubt irritated that she was being mostly ignored.
"A witch is someone who can cast magic. Just not Unicorn magic." Snake offered. Twilight tilted her head in a sign of confusion.
"That's simply not possible."
"It's not just simple unicorn-y Magic. Witchcraft, that's non unicorn magic Twilight, is some really complicated stuff! It's way powerful by itself. And most spells and stuff require all kinds of bizarre ingredients and rituals. Though, being the last witch alive in Equestria my magic was so powerful those rituals were super useless. I had to use magic everyday to prevent worldwide disaster from magical build-up. Hammer space, Super speed, teleportation, all kinds of stuff or BOOM! There goes the world. The first time I realized my power was so huge was when I was a little filly. I tried to find out what flavor of cake I was gonna have for my birthday the next day and WHAM!! Future sensitive muscle spasms. I was so scared I didn't cast any magic for a week. My sisters thought I had gone on a sugar binge I got so fat. But that was just me about to go boom. Luckily I figured it out so I did a brief dimension hop. Good thing too, if I hadn't, this planet would be a young asteroid field."
"Whoa. So like, you breaking the fourth wall and stuff...."
"Once again, fourth wall doesn't exist. And you guys do know that MLP is not a window, right?. The episodes are BASED on true stories. Sometimes loosely. I imagine Lauren didn't think Spike finding wise old dragons and doing a little growing would too entertaining to young fillies. So she changed that. So don't you bronies think you know us, 'cause that'll be awkward! And awkward ruins parties, and since Twilight is back, LET'S PARTY!"
"Wait, party? What about Canterlot? This doesn't seem like the right time for frivolity." Snake said, looking down at his feet somberly.
"Everyone survived a human attack. I think that deserves a celebration. C'mon. I know you've always wanted to experience a Pinkie Pie party, let's go!"
And so we did. Everyone followed Pinkie to the Town Square and with a wave of her hoof, a party, sans guests and music, appeared. "Since my secret's out, I don't think I need to use the 'Party Cannon' thing." She said, probably reading my mind. Soon a white pony with an electric blue mane and violet-pink goggles draped around her neck started playing some dubstep. A fog machine-laser light combo lit the area. and everypony began gyrating to the awful ear shattering electric music. Funny enough the Canterlot snobs seemed to be having the most fun. I guess they were just happy to be alive. Snake, Pascal, Technia and I however, remained at the snack bar. Happily munching on various sweets and doing our best to drown out the dubstep. Of course, we failed miserably. But that didn't stop us from trying.
Syntax was somewhat unsubtly stalking Fluttershy, who seemed very sensitive to that and hid behind Rainbow Dash. Though Rainbow was oblivious to the perceived threat. All too focused on a blue pegasus stallion with a dark blue mane.
Arrow was sitting on the edge of the gathering in a circle with a minotaur who was in all likely hood Iron Will, Spike, Snips, Snails, and oddly enough Silver Spoon. Each one of the ponies and Spike appearing older than they did in the show. They were all laughing about something and passing around a joint. It looked like fun but I didn't trust myself to be near Spoon without punting her into a building, so I hung back, chewing on a chocolate chip cookie and silently begging for some death metal.
As the party dragged on it became apparent that the punch had been spiked. The laughing got a bit too loud, the dancing a bit too uncoordinated and everypony seemed to be losing thier battle with gravity. Arrow and Pascal were absolutely wasted and a sober looking Twilight was paying close attention to them and jotting things down in a small notebook. Syntax was bragging to a few ponies who looked mostly uninterested about how he successfully flew a plane despite the fact that his sole training was video games and flight sims. Of course I overheard that and thanked my lucky stars Luna and Twilight were with us on that doomed flight. Otherwise we'd all be paste. Thinking of Luna I spot her by herself looking at her stars. Stars that had begun to fade into the morning light and thunderclouds.
"Aww, man. Not this AGAIN! Every morning and every night for the past two weeks! Rogue thunderstorms non stop! Arrgh." and with that Rainbow Dash and a line of drunk pegasi flew off in another futile attempt to stop the twice daily storm.
"Hey Luna, what's up?" I said, sitting down next to her in the grass.
"The sun, it would seem."
"Um. Right, I guess. What I mean is, how are you? You look deep in thought."
"I am well. Though I am worried. I haven't seen my sister since I last met with your group. I know she is alive and well because of the magic she's been casting to raise the sun and alter the atmospheric pressure of her days, but it is quite unlike her to simply vanish from the castle for such long periods of time."
"I'm sure she's just vacationing somewhere. Good timing, I say. Our appearance here would no doubt be some serious added stress."
"Hmm, it is true that she has not vacationed in over a millenia. But she would warn me first, this much I know."
"Maybe she thought she did?"
"My sister's mind is like a vice. Something like that would not simply 'slip her mind'."
"I don't know what to say Luna, other than that I expect she's a very capable mare."
The drunken crowd at the town center several feet away from us became quieter suddenly, the dull roar and occasional laughter switched to low murmurs and the sloppy movements became sloppy bowing. This got the attention of Luna and I and we turned to see what the fuss was about. Luna's gloomy demeanor instantly brightened as she stood and galloped to the crowd, a wide grin plastered across her face.
"Sister!" At the sight of the cheerful familial reunion The mane 6 and my group, which I've just now decided I'm going to call The Brony Defense Force, or just BDF for short because it's easier that way than listing everyone's name or calling it "my group", had huge smiles on our faces as we expected the heart melting scene of a tight sisterly hug.
What we got, however, replaced our smiles with looks of abject horror. Just before Luna made it to the edge of the party goers Celestia frowned and glared at Luna. She lowered her horn and before Luna could understand what was happening, blasted her with raw solar magic. The golden yellow beam was the loudest thing I had ever heard, it must have been so hot as to have been two to three times the heat a lightning bolt made. Which, if you aren't aware, is five times the surface of the sun. The heated air created one hell of a thunderclap. And I'm sure many ponies lost most, if not all, of their hearing. The artificial silence and ringing added to the slow motion effect of the adrenaline pumping in my veins. A very surprised looking midnight blue Alicorn fell slowly to the ground as Celestia calmly and scornfully walked towards her, heedless of the panicking ponies scurrying every which way around her hooves. The Mane 6 and the BDF, myself included, made their way to Luna automatically. A near instinctual need to protect her overriding our logic centers that were begging to ask, "What just happened?", "What is happening now?", "Shouldn't we run AWAY from the clearly angry and mentally unbalanced goddess?"
As I became more aware of my surroundings and the ringing wore off, I could hear the screams of the ponies as they ran away, having finally picked a direction to flee to. That direction simply being, 'not here'. The speed of the world hastened and the colors, which I had not noticed had faded, became more vibrant once again. Rainbow Dash, the speedster that she was, was already in front of Luna's still, but not unconscious body. She had taken a defensive posture and was yelling at Celestia. But at this distance and level of regained hearing I could not make out the words. Sadly it seemed she would be alone to face Celestia initially as the rest of would not make it Luna before her.
"So, you've been affected too, Element of Loyalty? Honestly I thought you would be the last to fall under their influence. Once again I have underestimated their power. No matter, I can easily deal with you. But right now, I have to discuss things with my dear sister. Please move out the way, Rainbow."
"And let you hurt Luna again? No way!"
"You asked for it, traitor." And with that she levitated the cornflower blue pegasus who waved her four hooves around in fear and tossed her aside like so much garbage. Clearing her way to her broken, struggling sister.
By this time, the rest of us had arrived, making a wall of ineffective flesh to protect the night Princess from Celestia. As I looked at us gathered I realized Pinkie Pie was not among us. I wondered why for the briefest of moments before my attention snapped back to the Sun Princess in front of us.
"Humans, you dare to step foot in Ponyville? And I see you've corrupted the Elements of Harmony, I commend you on your strategy. But it will not work." The princess spoke dispassionately, as though any enthusiasm for life she once had had been sucked out of her. It was like she was in mourning.
"Princess, whatever's goin' on, we're not your enemy!" Technia spoke up, trying to be heard above the wind, which had picked up considerably, making Celestia's already unkempt mane dance wildly, framing her bloodshot eyes and tight frown.
"Snake, who was standing next to me in our makeshift defensive line. shouted to me. "That's not a natural wind. I think Celestia's getting ready to attack!"
"YOU LIE, HUMAN!" Celestia shouted at Technia. "BECAUSE OF YOUR KIND, CANTERLOT HAS FALLEN. HUNDREDS OF PONIES ARE DEAD! SLAUGHTERED FOR NO REASON BY YOUR BRETHEREN."
"Princess, what are you talking about? Everypony survived!" shouted Twilight, the furthest one to the left. Celestia snapped her focus to her personal student, the edges of her mane began to lick with flame. A flame that was slowly beginning to consume her mane.
"IMPOSSIBLE, NOPONY COULD HAVE SURVIVED SUCH DESTRUCTION!" The wind picked up speed and Celestia's regal mane and tail were now a yellow white inferno that was framed by a line of blue. Her eyes had become slitted and harsh golden-orange color. Her voice lowered and she lowered her head in preparation for attack. "I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"
Celestia let off two shots of magic, this time it held no heat capable of the earlier thunderous boom, likely Celestia herself had suffered the effects before. They hit Snake right in the chest, drilling a hole right through him, clean and precise. In horror we looked at him, and he almost a little too calmly looked down at his chest.
"Fuck me." he said, before falling to his knees, and then his face. Blood pooled from around his lifeless body. The Mane 6, the minimized BDF, and Celestia's gaze were locked on Snake's body. The perfect hole exactly where his heart should've been. Celestia was the only one who did not wear an expression of horror. In fact, she seemed prideful.
"NO!" Arrow sobbed, collapsing protectively over Snake's body. Tears streamed down his face. The rest of us broke our attention once again on Celestia. As one, all of us, with the exception of the ponies and Pascal, let out a war cry. Bringing whatever weapons we had to bear. I charged at her with my dual short swords drawn, wanting nothing more than to cut off her head, consequences be damned. I couldn't get close though due the barrage of gunfire the was making no effect. The bullets were stopped inches away from her, floating in midair like she was fuckin' Neo. Arrows stacked neatly inches from here eye also floated, creating a surreal scene.
"You think that's enough to defeat me?! HA!" Celestia released an outburst of magic. Every bullet and arrow was sent away from the sun Goddess at a rate mirroring their speed upon impacting her magical shield or telekinetic field. The bullets tore through each of us, and only one lethal hit registered. Ponyville would no longer have beautiful custom made dresses. As Rarity's wide eyed lifeless body hit the ground Twilight began to cry over it. Begging her Princess to stop even though she herself was bleeding from several bullet wounds in her legs and a couple in her left shoulder.
None of us had any fight left in us. I wasn't sure if I was going to live. In movies, when you're shot low in the abdomen like myself, it was a 50/50 chance you'd be dead before too long. Not one of us had zero unaffected limbs. Fluttershy was crying loudly, easily having the lowest pain tolerance of all us. Luckily she was also the least wounded, a single arrow in one of her forelegs. That almost enough to get me going again, but the pain shooed that little heroic thought away and I crumpled.
"EXSAEVIO CAESUM TEMPUS CAPRIGENUS PERCURO!" A high pitched, but angry sounding voice was heard from a distance. But loud enough to rival the Royal Canterlot Voice and in a flash, the lesser wounds among us vanished, making Fluttershy fully healthy again and Pinkie Pie was growling at Celestia who, like Pinkie Pie, had teleported. Something must have happened during that teleportation because Celestia was sporting several bleeding cuts, her mane, while still the shape of fire, had returned to it's usual colors and her eyes, though still slitted, had also reverted colors. Celestia was sweating profusely, looking a little bedraggled, though her expression reflected none of this. Her rage filled stare locked onto Pinkie Pie.
"CAESUM TEMPUS GLACIES IMPETUS!" Once again Pinkie and Celestia teleported. Pinkie's mane had was now matted down in sweat but she stood easily. Still growling at the Princess. The Princess appeared bowed. She was panting and her mane was neither ablaze nor flowing. Her eyes had returned to normal and her coat was dirty and full of scabbing cuts. Many more fresh and bleeding cuts and gashes also littered her form. Ice hung from her horn, wings, and snout.
"Do you give in now, Celestia?" Pinkie asked, catching her breath.
"How..... are you...... so powerful?" Celestia asked, clearly needing more effort to breath than her opponent.
"That doesn't matter. Do you concede? Do you surrender? Or do I have to kill you to protect my friends? I beg of you, Celestia. Don't make me kill you."
"Fine, Pinkie. You win. But you will regret it. I assure you." and Celestia lay down, curled herself up, and fell asleep.
Pinkie looked at Celestia as one might look at an abused puppy, full of sorrow and a kind of unwarranted guilt. She spoke three words, once again in latin. Though much quieter this time. "Carcer, Ascendo, Collige." lines of what seemed to be liquid metal surrounded the princess, before solidifying into a cage. Pinkie looked at us, most had fallen unconscious due to their wounds but Twilight, Fluttershy and I remained awake, though I felt myself slipping. "That will hold her, the act of touching the bars of the bars will make her really sleepy. Maybe we can find out what happened. That's not the Celestia we know and love. Not by a long shot." Pinkie looked sadly at the two bodies she had been too late to save. "Do humans have funerals? If so, we need to start getting those underway."
"What... just happened?" I asked. But I never got an answer, because I passed out onto the grass.