Author’s Note: See, this is the inherent problem for me whenever I try to write fan fiction: I am a lazy bastard. So, I apologize for not updating for like, 2 weeks. I’d say I was really busy, but that would be a massive lie. Anyway, enough about my procrastination, let’s actually get some work done here.
Chapter 3: Full Charge and Vinyl Scratch
Time marched on and the shopping district continued to bustle. Derpy Hooves had stopped by earlier to deliver Lazy Days’ mail, and he was now quietly reading the morning paper behind the counter of Sleep Sculptors, turning the pages with his magic, while the soothing tones of Louis Forelegstrong played on a nearby radio. Nothing too interesting in the news that day. Photo Finish unveiled her new line of saddles for the winter, orange stocks dropped a couple of points, Princess Luna helped with the opening ceremony for a new children’s hospital in Manehattan.
Suddenly, a rather loud voice hit Days’ ears from far away, closing fast.
“daaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYSSSSS!” The voice slowly increased in volume as it got closer. Without looking up from his paper, days kicked a small button under the counter with one of his hind legs. The button produced a small beep. Just outside the store, a wide compartment opened up in the ground and several plushy mattresses rose up, shielding the store proper. In a few seconds, a muffled impact could be heard on the other side, followed by a soft groan. Days kicked the button again and the mattresses retracted, revealing a Pegasus pony laying on the ground outside the store, rubbing his head. This pony was a bright orange color, with a mane of a shocking green done up in spikes, clearly the work of various dyes and gels. On his flank was a cutie mark of a medical red cross with several speed lines behind it.
The pony barged into the store and began shouting and flailing his forelegs.
“DUDE! DAYS! WE GOTTA GO, MAN! WE’RE DOING THIS! WE’RE MAKING THIS HAPPEN!” Days lowered his newspaper with a sigh.
“Charge, do I want to know what you’re talking about?”
Ah, Full Charge, Lazy Days’ best friend. Charge was a paramedic Pegasus that worked for the local hospital, hence his cutie mark, but that was the least interesting part about him. If there was one thing Charge enjoyed, it was rumors. Now, I don’t mean rumors like the mean kind of stuff snotty fillies spread in school. Charge enjoyed crazy rumors, weird stories, all kinds of impossible goings on, and he loved to regale other ponies with what he heard. When he had nothing better to do, (which was rather often) he would hang around Sleep Sculptors and bug Days. Today’s rumor tied in to a personal dream of his, one that most ponies would just stare awkwardly at or, in a worst-case scenario, laugh.
“What am I talking about? I’ll tell you what I’m talking about, Days! Giant monsters! In Neighpon! It happened again! A giant monster showed up, and then a giant robot showed up and kicked its flank!” Days lowered his eyelids.
“And why exactly do we have to “do this now and make this happen?””
“Dude! We gotta go to Neighpon, so I can see if they’ll hire me on to let me drive the giant robot and fight the giant monster!” Days sighed and picked up his paper again.
“Charge, we’ve been over this. There are no giant monsters in Neighpon, and there are no giant robots in Neighpon. And even if there WERE, what makes you think you’d be qualified to pilot a giant robot?” Charge held his hoof up to his chest and flashed a cocky smile.
“My winning, can-do attitude, of course!”
Rolling his eyes, Days replied, “Whatever, bro. You think what you like, I’ll stay here in the real world. You gonna hang around?” Charge quickly dropped his previous demeanor.
“Like I always do. Got my rubik’s cube?” Charge took his usual seat in the corner of the store and Days tossed him the multicolored toy with his magic.
“Thanks. I think today’s the day I finally figure this thing out.” Charge said, confidence in his voice.
“Go get em’, tiger.” Days replied, eyes still glued to the paper.
Some time passed, and soon enough the door to the store opened, a unicorn mare walking in. Rather striking appearance, with snow white fur, bright blue hair, purple sunglasses and a musical note cutie mark. She cantered up to the counter, with a grin on her face.
“Hey, pal! I heard you make a pretty mean mattress, and I was wondering if…” She stopped mid-sentence and turned her head to the radio, the easy-listening station still playing. Days tried to get her attention.
“Um, miss?” She quickly snapped back to reality.
“Oh! Sorry about that, pal. I was just having trouble concentrating with the junk playing on your radio.” Days was offended by this.
“Hey, Louis Forelegstrong was one of the best singers who ever lived, and don’t you…” He stopped. Something seemed familiar about this mare, namely her voice.
“Scuse me, miss, but what’s your name?”
“Me? Name’s Vinyl Scratch.” Days’ mouth widened.
“Wait, Vinyl Scratch? As in THE Vinyl Scratch? DJ-PON3?” The mare took a mock bow in response.
“The one and only.” Days’ face lit up.
“DUDE!” He turned his attention to Charge, still enamored with his rubik’s cube, “Charge! Check it out! We got a celebrity in our midst! DJ-PON3 of K-Colt!” Charge’s head bolted up to look, followed by him jumping behind the counter to get a better look.
“Woah, seriously? Dude, Miss Scratch, we’re huge fans!”
Indeed, it was true, Days even more than Charge. At night, when he was working, the only sound Days could hear without losing his focus was the hilarious antics of Vinyl Scratch and her co-host Octavia over the radio. Vinyl’s loud, obnoxious attitude was sometimes the only thing that allowed Days to stay up as late as he had to.
“Aw, shucks fellas, thanks! It’s always awesome to meet fans! And please, call me Vinyl.” Vinyl said, waving the two down. Days quickly composed himself and cleared his throat.
“So, uh, Vinyl. What sleep-related help can I provide you with today?” He asked in the most official voice he could muster.
“Well, you see,” Vinyl began, “lately I’ve been having a sleeping problem. I haven’t had any trouble getting to sleep, but when I wake up in the morning, my sheets are all twisted and tangled, usually with my hooves stuck in em’.” Charge put a hoof to his chin.
“Ooh, I’ve heard of this.” Days gave him a look.
“Really?”
“Yup. Sleep-scratching. It’s sleeping condition that only DJ’s get. I knew this stallion once, he was a sleep-scratcher, and a bad one. He woke up one morning, and his hooves were tangled so deep into the sheets and mattress, that his wife had to call the police and they had to use the Jaws of Life on him. Not pretty.” Vinyl nodded her head.
“Exactly, and I’d rather not get the Jaws if at all possible. So, I had an awesome idea.” She looked at Days.
“This is where I come in?” Vinyl nodded again.
“Yup. Basically, I need a mattress with a built-in turntable that I can use in my sleep. It doesn’t have to be a real one, just something I can sleep-scratch on without damaging the bed. Or myself.” Days smiled.
“You kidding me? That’s easy; I can totally whip that up for you by tomorrow!” Vinyl gave a large grin.
“Awesome, thanks a ton, bro! So, uh, how much do you think this’ll run me?” She asked. Days tapped his chin with his hoof.
“Tell you what, Vinyl. I’ll do this for you completely free of charge. No bits needed. BUT, in exchange, you gotta get me a picture of you and Octavia, signed by both of you. Deal?”
“Sure! No problem! Thanks a lot, uh… sorry, didn’t catch your name.”
“Lazy Days.”
“Cool name. Alright, thanks a lot, Lazy Days! Take it easy!” She called as she walked out the door. Charge glanced over at Days, who had a dreamy look on his face, in jealousy.
“Words cannot describe how much I hate you right now.”
“Hey, if it’s any consolation, when I get that autograph and hang it up in here, you’re always welcome to look at it.”
“It’s not.” Charge replied.
“Well, sucks to be you then.” Days said with a troll-y grin on his face.