I stare at the spheres so blue as if they were plucked from the bright sunny sky itself, and the white corners around them are from the soft clouds themselves. I gaze long enough at the orbs of the sky that they start to gaze back at me. I’m petrified I can’t move but I can not take my eyes off them.
The sky and the clouds are surrounded by a light pink wall but as one’s eye goes further above, the pink becomes darker and darker. My entire vision is covered by an assault of pink, except for the clouds and the sky which are still staring into my soul. Am I dead? Is this heaven? I don’t know what this ‘’Heaven’’ is but you’re not dead. …Selene? Yes? I’m not dead? No… I wouldn’t let you die in your sleep. SO WHAT IN ALL THAT IS HOLY IS IN FRONT OF ME.
…It’s the Element of Laughter. Oh, that explains everything the-explain, please …She is the most unpredictable of them all. Which is why she poses the biggest amount of threat to us, after the Element of Magic. Okay, that’s good to know, but that doesn’t explain why she is staring into my soul. I have no idea, as I told you she is unpredictable.
I’m going to scream now. And panic too.
‘’Aghh!’’ I pull back and get tangled in the bed sheets. As I try to untangle myself from my soft web-like prison, I fall from the side of the bed, taking half of the bedsheet. Yeah, that’s right if I’m going down, you’re going down with me. We’re all in this together. All for one, one for all. I hear a small giggle at the back of my mind.
I shake my head and look towards my bed from the ground. I see a pinkish blur leap from the other side of the bed and land right on top of me. Two hooves place themselves to my right and my left, I’m locked in place. Raising my head I see the pink one grinning with a smile so big that I have trouble believing that is even possible. I mean how can something stretch their facial muscles that much? Maybe she is an eldritch monster? Nah, she doesn’t have the tentacles. I must admit it is quite a mystery how she can do that.
Oh? Even our resident mind-crasher doesn’t know how? Okay, it might actually be a monster. Shouldn’t we panic? We are panicking. It doesn't feel like we are. Mind-crasher? Yeah, like a couch crasher, but you know, you’re in my mind? Not my couch. Hahahaha*snort*hahahaha! Oh, that is hilarious! I heard them before but experiencing them first-hoof? Wa-wait, if I am a mind-crasher would that make you th-the ‘mindlord’? Hahaha! Are you serious? See? She gets it. Oh god, there are now three of them. You’ll get used to it. I don’t want to get used to it! Too bad.
‘’Uh-’’
‘’Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name?’’ Pinkie Pie? Her name is actually Pinkie Pie? Nice parents. Well, there probably are worse names out there. She leans in closer and our noses touch. She is close, waayyy too close! Kick her off. No, don’t do that.
‘’I-uh-I’m Laika.’’ I awkwardly return her greeting.
‘’Ohhh, that’s such an amazing name!’’ Pinkie Pie squeaks out while bobbing her left and right.
‘’Y-yeah, now get off me-’’
*click* The sound of my door being opened makes me lean my head down and look at it.
‘’Hey Laika, I heard what happened at the gala-...oh.’’ I see an upside-down Moonlight. Who looks at me then looks up a little, looks at Pinkie Pie then looks down and sees me right under her, who was still too close to my face.
Moonlight's eyelids fall halfway down and she adopts a sly smirk. ‘’I thought you would need some cheering up,-’’ She looks up at Pinkie. ‘’-but it looks like you won’t need it.’’
Before I can open my mouth to say something the Pink Monster above me speaks. ‘’Yup, we’re going to have lots of fun! Wanna join us?’’ She says yet again in that squeaky voice. Still on top of me though.
That takes Moonlight back a little. ‘’I-uh-...’’ Her face gets progressively redder with each second. ‘’-ohIforgotmykettleonbackatthekitchenIgottagobye!’’ She slams the door.
‘’No, Moonlight wait!...aghhhhh.’’ I groan. For the Element of Laughter, she really is not bringing much of a smile to my face. ‘’Get off me.’’ I looked up at the Pink Menace above me who was still looking at the closed door.
‘’Huh?’’
‘’I said get off!’’ I raise my voice.
‘’O-okay.’’ She hurriedly moves and finally lets me go. I slowly get up from the floor and look at her, she is still wearing that smile.
‘’What are you doing here?’’
‘’I came to meet you! And become friends!’’ She hops in place a few times.
‘’...You made a cake fall on me.’’ She stops hopping, looks down on the floor, and puts a hoof on the other one.
‘’I came to apologize for that too…’’ She says in a low voice but then immediately her tone changes again in a flash. ‘’So I baked you this cupcake!’’ She puts a hoof in her messy mane and pulls out a small cupcake with the letters I’m sorry written in icing. She presents the cupcake to me with both hooves and a toothy grin.
Don’t touch that. I…wasn’t going to? Wait, is there something wrong with it? Apart from the place it came from? Just don’t eat it…it brings up bad memories. It won’t affect you if you eat it but just… don’t, please… Alright, I wasn’t going to eat it anyhow. Thank you.
The little filly was lying on her bed as usual. She had finished the same book again, she thinks she might have even memorized the whole book by now. They didn’t give her any new books, she was already a drain, why should they drain themselves even more?
Suddenly, unexpectedly her door opens. Weird, she thinks, it’s still not nighttime yet, her ‘’doctors’’ would only come when the soft moonlight shone through her window. The sun still shone, creating a warm spot on her bed.
Turning her head she doesn’t believe what she is seeing, has the remaining magic been dried out of her body and, she’s seeing illusions? Standing in her doorway was Princess Celestia herself?! She still didn’t believe that the Princess herself smiled at her last week.
‘’So you’re -------- ?’’ The Princess said in a soft voice slowly approaching the flabbergasted filly. The filly finally realizes that her mind is not playing a game on her and the Princess is actually real, so she frantically nods and tries to get out of bed.
‘’Oh please, I don’t want to disturb your peace.’’ Celestia stops the filly. She looks conflicted but the smile of Celestia slowly makes her lie back down on her bed again. Then something bellows from deep within her, oh no. Please, don’t.
Her stomach lets out a roar, that is akin to a lion's. Right in front of the Princess. She still hadn’t eaten anything, the food they brought her was nothing more than tasteless slop but it still suppressed her stomach. But the filly hears something that surprises her even more. Was the Princess… giggling?
‘’Tehehe,’’ She puts a hoof on her mouth. ‘’ I suppose you’re hungry aren’t you dear?’’ Her horn glows with radiance and purity. ‘’I got something for the both of us, I hope you’ll like it.’’ And a silver tray with some mouth-watering cupcakes pops in front of her.
The filly looks at the Princess, who smiles and nods. She reaches forward and grabs one. Bringing it closer to her mouth the sweet smell hits her nose, she hasn’t smelled something this good in…well forever really. She waits for the Princess to eat first then slowly takes a small bite.
‘’Is it to your liking?’’ Celestia asks. ‘’I didn’t know what you would like so I baked every type.’’
The fillies’ small blue eyes start to water and she nods once. It was the best thing she had ever eaten in her entire life…
‘’Uhh,’’ I push the cupcake away. ‘’How about instead of a cupcake, you tell me what you were doing in my room?’’
She deflates a little but still keeps the smile on. ‘’So I could apologize and become your friend of course!’’
‘’Why would I want to become your friend?’’
‘’Y-you don’t want to?’’
‘’No.’’ She ruined my night. She didn’t really mean to. ‘’ What I want is for you to leave my room.’’ I open the door and gesture for her to leave. ‘’Right now, if you would be so kind.’’
Her hair falls down alongside her head and she slowly moves outside. She turns back to say one more thing. I slam the door before she can speak. Who does she think she is? Torturing my ears, throwing cake on me, then sneaking into my room and watching me sleep? Then expect me to be her friend? Fuck off.
‘’Ughh, now I gotta explain what happened to Moonlight too.’’ I groan. I’m doubting her position as the Element of Laughter. Selene you are sure that is her, right? I mean she did laugh a lot. She definitely is the Element of Laughter… I wouldn’t lie to you. Huh, the way she said that…it sounded normal but toward the end, her tone seemed a little hurt?
Since the gala was yesterday, it should be a slow day. So let’s use this time to read up on whatever I can. Moving to my trusty chair and table which had numerous books on them now. I sit on the sturdy chair and pick out a random book.
‘’Eeny, meeny, min, moe. I choose…you!’’ I select the book with the brown cover, put it on the table, and read the title. ‘’The Princess and The Knight, heh.’’ Don’t read this one. Huh? Why though? It’s just an old made-up tale, it has nothing important. Plus the author is…a horrible creature. Oh? Have you met them? I thought you didn’t have a body? I did have a body. I didn’t look like what you see now before she… The voice ceases. Selene? Forget it. Just don’t read it. …okay, whatever you say. How about this one then?
I pick out another book and then read the cover. It reads: ‘The Glorius Map of Equestria.’ Right in the middle with golden colored letters. Below the flashbang of letters and small, brown letters that say: ‘And other places.’
Are all books in this place written by propaganda officers? Probably, a possibility.
The filly was reading the same book again. Although she was not sad, quite the opposite. The Princess comes to visit her every week. She didn’t know why, and she didn’t really care about it. She was just happy that she had someone to talk to and that someone was the Princess!
Her door opens and in comes Princess Celestia with the grace and light of the Sun itself. The filly is ecstatic she quickly closes the book, puts it away, and waits for the Princess to come beside her. She starts to bow but quickly raises her head back up, the Princess didn’t want her to bow, so she wouldn’t bow.
‘’How are you today dear?’’ Celestia smiles and pats the filly's head. The filly smiles and shows her the book she was reading.
‘’Oh, you were reading a book?’’ Celestia reads the title and giggles. ‘’The Princess and The Knight?’’ The filly nods enthusiastically. Celestia leans down and whispers. ‘’I want you to keep a secret for me, do you think you can do that?’’ The filly slowly nods. ‘’I wrote that in my earlier days before I became a princess.’’ The filly eyes widen and her mouth drops.
She looks at the book and then at the Princess. She repeats this process a few times all while Celestia softly laughs. The filly might have to read this book again.
Alright, so we got Equestria in the middle. Damn, that’s a huge ass country. The Capital, Canterlot is in the middle of it too. So we’re in the middle of the hugest country in this world. To the north, there is The Crystal Empire. And of course, there are important towns such as, get this. Manehattan, Las Pegasus, Fillydelphia, Baltimare. I…I don’t even know what to think about it. Selene were these towns always named this way? Yes. …anyway.
Outside of Equestria to the east, there is The Kingdom of Griffonstone…and that’s it. WHAT KINDA ATLAS IS THIS?!? I pick up the book to throw it away but just before it slips from my hoov-hands a noise stops me.
*knock-knock*
Someone knocks on my door.
‘’Who is it?’’ No answer comes. I sigh and walk up to the door. Who could it be? Luna? No, she would come in after knocking or at least announce herself. I open the door, and a blue cannon with a pink artillery pony behind it greets me. Shit. Do not worry. My muscles tense and I feel that strange sensation again, as if my heart was pumping iron and not blood.
‘’Suprise!!!’’ The cannon fires and I’m hit. I get knocked back but that’s about it? Wait. I look upon myself and see that I’m covered in chocolate. Oh… All my muscles relax, and I collapse on the floor, my face in a chocolatey mess.
‘’Pinkie Pie?’’ I say in a low growl.
‘’Yes?!’’ She laughs and comes inside the room while pushing the cannon. ‘’I thought to myself what would he like? Then I remembered that you had a small chocolate bar as a medal at the gala! So I prepared this! Did you like it?’’
‘’Give me that cannon.’’ I get up and take the cannon. Selene? Yes? You know what to do. Oh yes… I feel the power come back. Should we be doing this? Yes. I’m not so sur-
‘’Oh, you got a little something on you!’’ She licks my face clean of chocolate. … …no hesitation. I take Pinkie by the hoof and shove her into the cannon. ‘’W-woah, you’re really strong!’’
I quickly get behind the cannon aim it at the hallway and pull the rope.
*boom*
‘’Wheeeeee’’ The pink invader flies off and she suddenly has a helmet? What? Ho-...I’m not going to question it. We may find answers, which could lead to unforeseen consequences. I agree, let’s not tally on her.
She hits the wall, and I rush ahead and quickly close the door. Chair. I take the chair and place it just under the doorknob. Whew.
*Bam-bam* OH GOD.
Is she banging on the door?! What the fuck!? Leave me alone! I retreat further into my room in slow, heavy steps while keeping an eye on the door. The banging ceases after a few seconds which felt like hours and I release the breath I’ve been holding.
Am I safe now? I should be. Unless she breaks down the door. I don’t think it will come to that though. Are we sure? Yeah, it should be fine. Remember what I told you, she is unpredictable. That sends a shiver down my spine, eughh, please don’t bust my door down. I need fresh air. I turn to move to the balcony.
*knock-knock* My head snaps to the door.
‘’Ummm, Laika? It’s me Twilight, remember we met at the gala? I was with the Princess.’’
Oh…oh no. I don’t know if she is better or worse. Worse, we can’t make a mistake with her. Gee, thanks for the confidence boost. …sorry, but please do be careful. I will.
I move towards the door and start talking with Twilight, though I don’t remove the chair. You never know, you know?
‘’Y-yes? How can I help you…Twilight?’’ Okay, didn’t mess her name up, one point for me.
‘’I was just wondering if we could chat a little, we didn’t really have a chance to talk at the gala.’’ She says with a cheery voice.
‘’I-...maybe after breakfast? I haven’t eaten anything yet.’’ It’s not a lie, but even if just for a second I don’t want to deal with her.
‘’Oh, I thought of that, so I got both of us some breakfast they were serving up. The cook even gave me something wrapped up and told me to give it to you. He said you would know.’’ Okay, no more escapes then. Let’s get this over with, maybe it won’t be that bad. Laika… I know, I’ll be careful, but if I mess up I got you with me right? You’ll stop me like you did yesterday. I…Of course. I feel calmer as if I got hugged by the clouds themselves. I take a huge breath, remove the chair, and slowly open the door.
I see the purple unicorn with a floating tray beside her. And a small package on her other side, which looks exactly like how one would hide drugs, that most definitely contains chocolate. Oh my god, Hearty Meal you…you.
‘’Hehe.’’ I chuckle at Hearty’s antics. He gets really into the character. I wonder where the ‘Shady Chef’ ends and Hearty Meal begins actually. Oops, Twilight is looking at me funny. Shit. ‘’Uh, sorry, I’m not laughing at you. Come in.’’ I step back and let her in. ‘’You can drop what Hearty gave you on the nightstand.’’
She does so and quickly looks around the room, noticing the books on the table she quickly makes her way to them. ‘’Do you like reading?’’ She looks at a couple of them. ‘’Ohh, you read very interesting ones too.’’ She picks up the brown book. ‘’I love this, ’The Princess and The Knight.’ It’s a classic really, but still one of my favorites, and oh! This on…’’
She doesn’t stop talking, I didn’t know someone could talk about books with such fervor until now. I think she doesn’t even know where she is, and she is still holding the tray in the air too. You know…she doesn’t seem that bad. Still, let’s not drop caution. I still feel like I could drop dead at any moment now.
‘’-and that’s why I think this atlas should be completely removed from-’’ She picks up the piece of propaganda I was about to throw earlier and turns to show it to me. Her eyes widen, oh did she finally snap out of it? ‘’Oh…sorry.’’ She blushes and looks away.
‘’It’s fine.’’ It was better when her attention was on the books. Every single hair on my body feels like needles.
‘’Let’s eat! I’m sure you’re very hungry, especially with me holding you now.’’ I look at the tray and it’s just two sandwiches and two glasses of orange juice. Eh, could be worse.
‘’We can eat on the balcony.’’ I walk to the balcony and sit on my luxurious pillow.
‘’Alright!’’ She quickly moves behind me, sits on the pillow, and sets the tray on the marble floor.
Finally, something to eat I can hear my stomach setting plans for widespread revolt, looks like he already has the bladder and the lungs on his side. I trust you guys to take care of it. Aye, aye. Let’s listen to what they have to say. I don’t negotiate with hippies. I can hear a soft giggle at the back of my mind.
I take my sandwich and open my mouth to take a bite. Why is everything dark? Did they shoot out the sun? I hope they did. I see Twilight quite flummoxed by the change in light too. So I look up.
‘’Hello, Laika! Oh hi, Twilight!’’ I see a huge pink balloon head for my balcony with the pink demon manning the helm.
I told you she was unpredictable…but this? I can’t even eat a sandwich, I'm totally cursed. ...