Not Here

by ulcuran


Ice cream

Moonlight stopped in front of his room, she can do this right? She doesn’t know what really happened to him but if he wants to talk about it she’ll listen if not then she’ll still stay with him. Taking a huge breath she prepares herself and knocks on the door.

*knock-knock*

‘’Laika?...can I come in?’’

She waits and waits but no answer comes through the door. Her confidence wavers by the minute, and the silence makes way for worry to rise too, what if something happened? Just as she is about to enter the room she finally hears him, although barely.

‘’...okay.’’ Moonlight releases the breath she didn’t know she was holding and her body eases up, without wasting another minute she opens the door. Looking inside she sees Laika sitting on the balcony with his back turned to her.

‘’Hey…’’ She moves inside and closes the door without making another sound.

‘’...hi.’’ Oh, oh yeah, he sounds bad.

He doesn’t turn around so she makes her way toward the balcony. Arriving at the balcony Moonlight plops down beside him and puts the tub of ice cream between her hooves. She looks at him to see if he has suffered more injuries, well he looks the same as he was in the morning, as he was in the morning. Wait, his right hoof wasn’t bandaged before… How can she get him to talk? Hmmm, she has an idea.

*pop*


Why did I let her in? I don’t know. It’s because I’m an imbecile, it’s because I wanted to talk to her. She opens the door and says hello, her voice sounds so concerned. Only bring trouble to those who care about me, if I was a trouble she would not have bothered. and sits beside me on the balcony, out of the corner of my eye I can see something between her…hooves.

As no words pass over them, the sound of a container popping open can be heard.

*pop*

A sudden pop makes me turn my head I can see now Moonlight has brought ice cream and is eating the ice cream with a spoon. I probably can’t even hold the spoon. She notices me and with a small smile on her face holds out the spoon, no, I can’t hold it.

Apparently, she notices my discomfort from a simple spoon, she takes a quick look at the spoon and shrugs, wait what is she doing?

‘’Eh, don’t need em.’’ …she just threw the spoon over her shoulder. Why? Because she didn’t want to deal with me, no, because she cares about me.

‘’How…how are you gonna eat it now?’’ I ask.

She smirks and her eyes have that shine when she jumped on the bed before. ‘’How mother nature intended!’’ She jerks her head down and starts eating straight from the cup.

‘’Nom, nom, nom-’’ Moonlight raises her head for a moment to breathe, she has a cream mustache on her face. ‘’nom, nom, nom.’’ She raises her head again, she has a beard now too.

‘’... hehe.’’ I chuckle a little, I can’t help it.

‘’There! I got you to laugh!’’ Moonlight raises her head for the final time but now she has a unibrow too… and a smile on her face.

‘’You did.’’ A small smile creeps its way to my face.

‘’Soooooo, what happened?’’ Her tone changes just a little bit, big enough for me to notice. Don’t tell her, tell her.

‘’...nothing.’’

She frowns and points at my newly bandaged…hoof. ‘’Something obviously happened, please.’’

‘’I…’’ no, yes. ‘’I crushed a teacup in anger.’’

‘’Why did you feel angry though?’’ don’t, do.

‘’I couldn’t pick it up, it made me feel…like an animal.’’ I am one, I’m not.

‘’...I can’t pick up teacups too, does that make me an animal?’’

‘’Wh-what? No, no of course not.’’ Moonlight an animal? I can’t say that.

‘’I bet if Princess Luna didn’t have her horn she couldn’t pick up one too, would that make her an animal?’’ She asks again but not angry in the slightest, she just wants to understand.

‘’No!’’ I could never say that too.

‘’So, by that logic, you are not one too.’’

‘’Bu-’’ I try to reply but she cuts me off.

‘’Well, I did eat the ice cream like an animal though-’’ She shows a sly smile. ‘’But you didn’t think of me that way when I was doing it, riiiight? You probably thought ’Wow, Moonlight you sure do look pretty!’.

‘’I-well no,-’’

‘’You didn’t think I was pretty?’’ Moonlight says while fluttering her eyelashes, she still has the beard though, and the mustache… and the unibrow.

‘’Hehe, maybe lose the beard and we’ll see.’’ what, what?

‘’Silly, I don’t have a beard.’’ She giggles.

‘’Yeaaah, no you do, a good old beard made of ice cream.’’ My smile just gets a little bigger.

‘’Wha- hold on.’’ She digs into one of her pockets and brings out a small disc? Oh, it’s one of those small mirrors.

Opening the small mirror she finally sees her face.‘’Huh, wellll does it suit me?’’ She poses with a hoof under her chin.

‘’Sure, sure, you have the best ice cream facial hair around.’’

‘’I know, now you eat too.’’ She pushes the ice cream towards me.

‘’Wha-how?’’

‘’You know how!...nom, nom.’’

‘’Nom…nom?’’

‘’Like this,-’’ She stuffs her face in the cup again. ‘’nom, nom, nom.’’ She raises her head and shows a toothy grin.

‘’...no.’’

‘’Come onnn, it’s delicious! Just…nom, nom.’’ She says as she licks the mustache off.

‘’It’s the best ice cream made from the best milk from the best cows who ate the best grass.’’ She wiggles her brows. Oh you, you little. Fine, I’ll eat the ice cream.

‘’Fine, I’ll do it but no nom nom.’’

‘’Awww.’’

Slowly I lower my head and take a small bite… oh god this…this is so good. My bites increase in size, and now I’m nom-nomming too.

‘’Hah! Can’t hold yourself back now can you?’’

‘’How, nom, is it, nom, so good?’’ Finally able to gather enough willpower I raise my head to stop myself from eating.

‘’Hey you have a beard too, look!’’ She turns the pocket mirror to me, and my breath gets cut short, I struggle to do anything but look, I can only see the image the mirror is painting me…

I can see it, a pony, it’s not just a pony, it’s a pony, a pony, a horse, not a hu-

I feel something soft envelop me. Moonlight’s hugging me. She doesn’t say anything, my breath returns to me, and the mirror is gone, she is patting the back of my head.

‘’It’s okay, you’re not an animal, you’re my hero. ’’ she whispers softly.

A pony, a hero, an anim-, a hero, not a h-, her hero.

‘’...thank you.’’ I hug back.

‘’You saved me, I want to save you too.’’ She doesn’t break the hug.

‘’...okay’’

She pulls back just a little and I see her face still has that beard of ice cream, I probably did too, and I giggle, she does too.

‘’Hehehe, you look so silly.’’ I say.

‘’So do you, you look like a mummy with a beard.’’ She wipes her face, I wipe it as well.

‘’You still have some left.’’ She says.

‘’Where?’’

‘’Right here.’’ She leans in and wipes the remaining ice cream from my cheek…were her eyes always this… beautiful?

‘’T-thanks.’’

‘’You’re welcome, now let’s finish thi-’’ She looks down towards the ice cream, but alas our sugary divine gift has been…finished.

‘’...’’ She didn’t say anything but stare at the empty tub. Was this the day that I saw Moonlight at her brightest and her darkest? I hope not.

‘’M-moonlight?’’

‘’Our ice cream…’’ She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. ‘’Well…we did just eat a whole tub by ourselves more would be just unhealthy.’’ Her gaze wanders to the empty tub again. ‘’But we can still get more?’’

‘’Moonlight, we just ate a whole tub by ourselves, and mind you this tub is like enormous.’’

‘’Fine, no more ice cream.’’ She sulks.

We continue to chat, it looks like she ate some delicious waffles this morning for breakfast, and I tell her of the beautiful eggs I ate.

‘’Woah, look at those pegasi working!’’She gets up and points towards the distance.

‘’Wa- are they… are they moving clouds?!’’ How literally how, right, different world probably some weird mumbo jumbo again.

‘’Uhhh, yeah? That’s their job.’’ It is? What kinda job is that? Next, you’re gonna tell me they make physical rainbows.

‘’But… how? Like, aren’t they supposed to pass through?’’

‘’Well, you and me, we would pass but since they are pegasus they can do it, something about the magic inside their bodies or something, I don’t remember I slept through that part of biology.’’ She blows a raspberry.

‘’How come you don’t know thi- ohhh right, lived in the forest with your family.’’

‘’Huh? Oh, oh yeah.’’ Right, that was my story, I lived in the forest with my family in isolation and they homeschooled me so I don’t know anything.

So Moonlight went over the basics of pegasus, and well apparently they control the fucking weather in this world. How can something control the weather all willy nilly I have no clue.

‘’Hey, are you feeling… um, better?’’

‘’Yeah, thank you, Moonlight truly.’’

‘’Okay! That’s good,- ‘’Her smile falters a little. ‘’and I wanna stay and chat but ugh I need to kinda get back to work, I really can’t let the head maid catch me not working.’’

‘’Sure, don’t let me keep you, I’ll be fine, thanks to you.’’ I should be able to at least.

‘’Great! before I go here!’’ She suddenly takes my injured hand and kisses it, wha? Before I realize what’s going on she’s already by the door. ‘’That’s to make pain be gone!’’ annnd she’s gone...it does hurt less though.

her hero. I smile.

May be a pony, but still a human.


I need to see Luna, gotta say sorry, gotta talk to her. But I can’t go empty-handed, looking down I see the empty ice cream cup. I wonder if she likes chocolate.

Maybe I can ask Celestia? She’s her sister, she would know what Luna would like. I turn around and head for the door, but before I reach it I stop, would the guards even let me roam free in the castle? I mean I don’t even know where she is maybe they can take me to her?

I leave the room and start walking the halls. Though I hobble a bit, my feet still hurts. After a few minutes, I find some maids, hey they can tell me where Celestia is right? Taking a deep breath, I approach them.

‘’H-hey, uhhh, do you guys know wh-’’

‘’Ahhh! Please don’t hurt me!’’ One of them screams and starts shaking, the other one promptly slaps her head.

‘’Idiot he saved Moonlight, he is not going to eat you.’’ Wow, they already know?

‘’Oh, right, she said something like that.’’ She says as she rubs her head. ‘’Ow by the way.’’

‘’Something like that? She was talking about it all through breakfast.’’

‘’She was? I was too focused on the waffles.’’

The other maid rolls her eyes and turns to speak to me.

‘’Sorry, don’t mind her, we know you’re a good guy.’’

‘’Hmm-huh, oh, oh yeah, uh, no problem.’’

‘’So what can we help you with?’’

‘’Can you just tell me where Celestia is?’’

‘’Princess Celestia.’’ The maid’s eyes narrow.

‘’What? Oh, yeah sorry, Princess Celestia.’’ I say while laughing a little nervously. Let’s not make that same mistake near the guards.

‘’...I’ll take you to her.’’ She turns to the previously scared maid. ‘’You keep cleaning, no slacking off, okay Misty?’’

‘’I don’t slack off!’’ The other one has a not-so-amused look on her face. ‘’...okay.’’ Misty relents.

‘’Follow me, Princess Celestia is in her room.’’

I nod and silently start following her, she kinda walked a little too fast but when she realized that I was falling behind she slowed down. After a few minutes of slow walking, we stop in front of a door with a big ruby on top of it. Is this it? She knocks on the door.

‘’Princess?’’

‘’Yes? Is something the matter?’’ Celestia’s muffled voice comes through the wall, a bit different from this morning though, does she sound tired?

‘’No Your Highness, your guest Laika wanted to see you.’’ What. How the hell does she know my name?! Does everyone in the castle know now!?

‘’Oh, yes please send him in!’’ She says back with a bit more step in her voice now.

The door opens, and the maid turns to me and nods before leaving. I thank her. Making my way inside I look around the room. It seems really cozy, the roof is high up, there are flowers of all closer lining the walls, on the opposite side of the door there is a fireplace, although it’s not burning, and in front of the fireplace there is an enormous and extremely comfy looking floor pillow, which the huge white princess lies upon.

‘’Come sit with me.’’ She makes room on the pillow. I don’t say anything but go and lie on the pillow as well, wow, it is as comfortable as it looks.

‘’It’s comfy isn’t it?’’ She smiles.

‘’Ohh yeah. I could sleep on it no problem.’’ I sink even further into the soft pillo-no, cloud.

‘’I can get you one to your room.-’’ She giggles. ‘’Do you want to talk?’’ she asks in a soft voice.

‘’Yeah…first of all, I’m sorry-’’ She opens her mouth to say something but I continue. ‘’ for causing trouble for both you and Luna, especially this morning.’’

‘’Oh dear Laika, you have nothing to apologize for,-’’ Her eyes soften and she shows me a warm smile. ‘’-are you feeling better? Have you talked to Luna?’’ She asks in the same voice but a bit of sadness can be heard through it at the last part.

‘’Yeah, I’m fine, and no I haven’t talked to Luna yet, that’s why I came here in the first place.’’ I try not to lose myself in the cotton soft pillow. ‘’You’re her sister, do you know what uhh, what kinda of things she likes? I wanna apologize to her.’’

‘’Oh?’’ One of her eyebrows rises along with the corners of her mouth. ‘’So you want to give her a gift?’’

‘’Yeah, but I don’t know what she likes, I thought I could ask you.’’

‘’Well, she would be delighted to see you better again, but she loves chocolate, you can get some from the kitchen.’’ Her smile is from ear to ear as she speaks. ‘’Actually, would you mind waiting for me here for a few minutes?’’ She gets up from the pillow and heads to the door.

‘’Sure, I could wait for you for days on this pillow.’’ I say as I bury my face in it. She leaves, and I’m alone on the pillow, I stretch out over it, this is heaven, I really need one. Eyes closing, can’t, hold, back. Darkness.



‘’I’m back!’’ Celestia bursts through the door.

‘’Wha-?!’’ The sudden noise scares me, making my head jerk back.

‘’Oh were you sleeping dear?’’

‘’N-no!...okay, maybe, hey what are those?’’ I realize that Celestia’s horn is glowing and there are some things behind her that are floating.

‘’This-’’ She brings the first one forward. ‘’-is Luna’s favorite chocolate, and these- ‘’ she brings forward the second one. ‘’-are her favourite flowers, it’s lavender.’’ She moves to one side of the room and starts going through the drawers.

‘’Uhh, what are you doing?’’ I try to look over but with me being on the ground and her stature alone it's impossible.

‘’Where is it, aha!’’ She brings out a purple ribbon? What is she going to even do with that? Oh! Maybe for the flowers?

‘’Now hold still dear.’’ She moves closer to me with the ribbon, what?

‘’What are you going to do?’’ I get up from the pillow.

‘’You can’t use your hooves when you’re injured, so I’m going to give you a solution to hold the presents, now hold still, please.’’ She says with hopeful eyes and a smile.

‘’I…fine, just be quick.’’ Fine, I trust her, she’s Luna's sister.

‘’Thank you, it will take but a moment.’’ She takes the chocolate and the flowers and puts them on my back, huh? And she ties it up with the ribbon.

‘’Awww, look at you, you look so cute.’’

‘’I’m not cute.’’

‘’Yes you are, you are like a little gift box now.’’ She giggles.

‘’I-you-... can you at least tell me where Luna is before I crumble from embarrassment?’’

‘’She should be in her room, do you know where it is?’’

‘’No.’’

‘’Want me to take you there?’’ She asks with a sly smile.

‘’...yes.’’


Luna was lying under the covers of her bed, she had cried to her sister, they both didn’t say anything she only cried and her sister held her. After she had calmed down a bit Celestia asked if she wanted to talk, she rejected her sister's offer, and although it pained her sister, she still respected her wishes. She wanted to disappear right now, she was a bad friend, a bad princess, a bad pony.

Of course you are, everyone always knew that that’s why they loved your sister more than you.

Shut up.

You can't even help your single friend, what kinda mare are you?

Shut up.

*knock-knock*

She heard a knock on her door, whoever it was she didn’t care, she wished to be left alone.

‘’Leave! We wish not to speak to anyone.’’

‘’Luna? ...I'm here.’’

Hearing his voice, she jumped from her bed and rushed to the door.