Being immortal is as amazing as it sounds, but it does come with its pains. You see, when you live as extremely long as I do, you have to start dealing with things like... heurgh. Science.
To mortal ponies, things like the drifts of continental plates or the the dances of stars in the heavens don't even register, giving them the false comfort of a static and unchanging world. A pretty still-life in which to eke out their inconsequential lives. So of course it inevitably falls to me to carry them through their ignorance.
The problem, in this case, is biological evolution. Heurgh. Curse that travelling unnaturalist and his idiotic theory! So it turns out that over the last thousand moons or so, unicorns developed the ability to naturally regrow their horns if lost or damaged. I can only assume that they spent the last hundred generations slamming their faces into trees.
Ho hum. No matter, I can adapt. At least it cut down on the mess, so, you know. Silver linings.
Once she had fully disgorged the remaining stump of her horn, I crushed and powdered the pieces to see if I could salvage any alicornite, but could only extract a few meager inert grains, barely a tickle of thaumic potential. I hadn't expected anything, but it was still a shame. She might have been useful for regular harvesting otherwise.
Misty, to give the dear credit, took it like a champ, and I felt continually reassured that I had made the right choice in selecting her. I really have to admire that five-year-old's resolve as I taught her who and what she was, and set her to work on cleaning my fortress.
I mean, to be clear, she was terrible at first, but I was gracious enough to give her the benefit of the doubt.
As that first year passed, her memory settled down, her horn slowly grew back, and her complaints of headaches grew less frequent. Her new horn was, alas, not a patch on the original - a cloudy, stubby, chipped stalagmite of a thing.
But Gertrude had been right. What a joy it was to have an actual, real friend, somepony who would hang on my every word and do everything I say! Somepony to shape in my own image, to be everything I wanted them to be. It was difficult. Nervewracking, even. Even the possibility of betrayal made me itchy. I stamped out signs of dissidence as soon as I saw them, but without access to direct mind control, there were times when she simply wouldn't cooperate, and I had to find ways to punish her that wouldn't compromise her ability to serve me. I hated doing it, but what other choice did I have?
Actually, there was another choice. And my genius little filly came up with it all by herself.
"Opaline?"
I jumped and quickly dispelled the magical image above my pool, just as a flamboyantly dressed earth pony dove off of a sporting ring to land violently on his opponent. "Misty! Don't sneak up on me like that, it's rude!" I hadn't even seen her enter the room. Who taught her how to sneak around like that?
Oh, wait. I did.
"I'm sorry, Opaline," the eight-year-old apologized. "But I was... I was wondering..."
"Yes? Don't mumble, Misty."
"I was wondering... what does your... your... flank thing do?"
My flank thing? I was about to berate her for her imprecision, when I realized, from where she was pointing, she was talking about my cutie mark. Had I really never explained this to her before?
"This, Misty?" I said, stepping up out of my throne to display my hindquarters, and the regal marking that emblazoned them. "This is my cutie mark. It doesn't really do anything as such, it's more of a symbol of who and what I am. A branding from the universe, if you will. All ponies receive one once they have determined their true purpose. Well, that's if you believe in destiny, of course."
"All ponies?" Misty echoed. "When will I get mine?"
I was taken aback by the sudden passion in her eyes. I hadn't seen her this eager since she drew me that portrait using my ritual chalk. I punished her severely for that, of course.
"Ah," I said. "Well, that's the thing, Misty. Cutie marks don't just magically appear. They have to be earned."
"How?" she asked. "What do I have to do?"
"Don't rush me, Misty," I snapped. "I'm not done explaining. To get your cutie mark, you have to prove yourself worthy of receiving it, just as I did, just as everypony has to. And once you've done that, I can grant it to you."
"You?" she asked.
"Yes... yes, of course me, why do you sound so surprised? I'm an alicorn, I can do anything. Except..." I turned away from her dramatically. "As you know, my power isn't what it used to be. It was taken from me by the evil princess Twilight Sparkle."
"The one who put Equestria in that giant invisi-bubble?"
"Yes, good, I'm glad to see you've been paying attention. That's why I've been working so hard to get it back, and it's also why I have to be hard on you sometimes. No pony can go through life without their cutie mark. It wouldn't be any kind of life at all. But if you help me, and do as I say, and prove to me that you're ready for it, then I'll be able to reclaim my power from Equestria, and grant you your cutie mark."
"I'll do it, Opaline!" she said, voice filled with determination. "I'll do whatever it takes!"
I'd never seen her so energized! Was this really all I'd needed to do? It was almost embarrassing that I'd overlooked it, but then, I hadn't really thought much about cutie marks at all in a long time. As far as I could tell, they had become vestigial over the centuries - ponies still got them, but they no longer appeared to serve any magical function. They didn't even emerge on both flanks any more.
"What mark will I get, Opaline?" she asked. "Will it be like yours?"
"Oh, no, no, no," I laughed. "My mark is special, it represents my alicorn affinity. Nopony can have a mark like mine. I received mine when I ascended to become the Alicorn of Fire."
"How?"
Normally I would chastise the girl for asking so many questions, but I was enjoying getting the opportunity to talk about myself. And plus, this part was actually true, so I didn't have to go to the effort of making up lies. "There was a time, Misty, when I was a young unicorn, just like yourself. I lived in a quaint little village somewhere in... well, it doesn't really matter where. I was quite the magical prodigy even at a young age - there wasn't any spell I couldn't master, no trick I couldn't perform with ease. But of course, my true speciality was fire magic. I understood fire on a much deeper level than anypony else could, and my control was so complete that I could wreathe myself in flames without singeing so much as a hair.
"But one day, disaster struck my village. An evil demon made from living magma attacked and burned everything in his path -"
"What's magma?"
"Molten stone. Don't interrupt, I'm getting to the good part. I was the only one strong enough to stand up to him. While everypony escaped, I stayed in our burning village and fought him with all the magic I knew - aquamancy, ice spells, transmogrification, geomancy... nothing worked. His fire was so hot that it burned everything, even my magic. What was I to do? The one thing I was good at was the one thing I couldn't use. You can't fight fire with fire.
Until I realized, in a flash of inspiration, that I already had what I needed to defeat him. I needed his fire. With all of my magical strength, I pulled the very fire from his body, turning him to harmless rock. And then I took the fire into myself. I thought I was going to be burned alive, but then I found myself in Skyros, the owner of a new pair of fiery wings... and my new cutie mark. I had become the Alicorn of Fire, and the savior of my village."
"Wow!" said Misty, wide-eyed. Ineloquent, but a suitable expression of awe.
"Wow indeed," I agreed. "The lesson, Misty, is that power belongs to the pony most worthy of wielding it. I think you can easily see that's me."
"Opaline?" Misty asked.
"Yes? What is it?"
When I didn't get an immediate reply, I looked up from my throne, ready to berate her for her pointless interruption. But something about her gave me pause. I wasn't sure what it was. Something strange and uncertain in her expression. I didn't like it very much. Or maybe it was her stupid new hairdo. I didn't like that much either. So gaudy.
"You're not ill again, are you?" I asked her.
"No."
"Well, good," I said. "I don't have time to care for you again. What is it, girl?"
She paused for some reason. I presumed she was trying to avoid presenting her usual stammering babble to me. "You told me once you could magically disguise yourself. Can you do that for me?"
I frowned, surprised by the request. "I'm not Rent-a-Friend, Misty. Why would I want to hide my glorious self, now that I have my magic back?"
"Because I... I want you to come to Maretime Bay with me. Just for today. There's something going on there that you might like to see."
I was about to rebuke her for this idiotic request, but again, something in her voice just seemed... off. What was that? Sadness? What did the girl have to be sad about? I hadn't belittled or punished her for days. Come to think of it, this was the first time I'd really spoken to her in days. She was nearly always out in the field lately.
Ah... maybe she'd discovered something in Maretime Bay? Some potential threat to my plans? I didn't think there was really anything that could threaten me any more, but I'd been caught out by my overconfidence before. It wouldn't hurt to go over there just to have a look.
"Good idea, Misty," I said, figuring a compliment that would take the edge off of her dour mood. With a ripple of fiery magic from horntip to hooves, I changed; my wings melted away, my stature diminished slightly, and my mane tidied itself away into a prim, unassuming bun. I examined a mauve hooftip idly, satisfied that my prowess at concealment magic was still unrivalled. "Let's see what you've found."
"Misty," I said, in aggravation.
"Yes, Opaline?"
"What is this."
Fillies and foals scuttled excitedly around us, thankfully paying me no heed as their minds appeared engaged with something else. There was a local celebration happening in Maretime Bay, centered around the appreciation of decorative orbs. It seemed thoroughly tedious.
"It's the Maretime Bay Egg Hunt," Misty said, as if this explained anything. "It used to be a Zephyr Heights tradition, but Maretime Bay agreed to host it this year. Next year it'll be Bridlewood's turn."
"And you've brought me here because...?"
Misty hesitated. "I thought you might want to take part."
I snorted as I considered that, then burst out into loud cackles. "Oh, that is good, Misty! The very idea of it! Since you did make me laugh, I won't punish you quite so severely for dragging me here. But come now. Do you really think I have nothing better to do than play a silly filly's game?"
"It's not just about playing," Misty said. "There's a creative element to it too. Some of us are Hunters and some of us are Hiders. The Hiders have to hide the eggs and come up with clues for the Hunters to solve. And I..." she gave a sad little sigh. "I thought you might at least like to see a bit of the world you're about to conquer. It might help you to understand the ponies you're going to be ruling over."
"I don't need to understand them, Misty, that's kind of the whole point of being Queen," I said, rolling my eyes at her childish idealism. "But fine, I'll indulge this idiotic fancy of yours, just this once."
Her eyes lit up with the kind of childish excitement I thought I'd stamped out of her a long time ago. "Oh, thank you, thank you!"
Heurgh. My uncharacteristic act of generosity made me feel queasy, and I said little as I walked with her to the sign-up desk, where she acquired a sheet of paper from the orange earth pony manning the table -
"Hi there!" Sunny greeted, brightly.
"Starscout."
Her ears flattened and she recoiled under my gaze, chilled to the bone but still not having the decency to just keel over and die. "I, uh... hello? Have we... met?"
I continued to drill into her with my stare, even as Misty intervened with her usual brand of reckless improv. "Oh, Sunny! This is my, uh, my friend! From Bridlewood! I brought her here for the Egg Hunt because she, um, she really wanted to take part."
The fakiecorn nodded, grimacing in discomfort as she writhed beneath my inescapable glare.
"Yes," I hissed in addendum. "We're going to complete your Orb Quest."
"Egg Hunt," Misty corrected.
"I, uh... right!" said Sunny. "Well, this is a new thing we're doing this year. All you have to do is take an egg, hide it somewhere in Maretime Bay, and make up a puzzle, or a riddle, or something to help ponies find them!"
"Oh, I have a riddle," I said disinterestedly. "What's orange, has four legs, and screams when you set it on fire?"
"Ahahahaha!" Misty hacked, guiding me away before the idiot could process my broadsword wit. "We'll go get our egg now thanks Sunny!"
I suffered to be dragged to a second table, where a professional nitwit was decorating a collection of eggs in childish colors and patterns. I recognized her as the unicorn of the group, one of the gaggle who assaulted me in my castle a couple of months ago.
"Hey there, Misty!" she said in a voice that sounded like a chipmunk vomiting up gravel. "Here for an egg? I bet I've got egg-zactly what you're looking for!"
"Hi, Izzy," Misty greeted, with impressive familiarity. She had, I admit, done an excellent job of inveigling herself into their grouping. None of them even remotely suspected that Misty was really working for me. "We'll take one egg, please!"
"We? Oh! Who's your friend?" Izzy asked, noticing me, her eyes brightening, but then narrowing in confusion as her gaze drifted above my head. "Huh. I've never seen a horn like that before."
"Oh, this is my, um, my friend Olive from Bridlewood!" Misty flailed.
"From Bridlewood? Hey, I'm from Bridlewood too!" Izzy said excitedly. "But I don't think I've ever met you before..."
"Are you going to give us an egg or not?" I clucked impatiently.
"Oh, right! Sure thing!" She presented a selection of pre-made glittering abominations. "See anything you like?"
Most of them were disgustingly festive, but I did find one that spoke to me, a purplish egg with swirling iridescent markings that oddly resembled the Dragon Stone. I lifted it in my aura and rotated it for inspection, finding it pleasingly well-designed. "This one."
"Oooh, the Spawn of Darkness. A bold choice!" Izzy praised.
As we turned and stepped away with my prize, the irritating voice revved up again. "Hey, wait! Olive! You said you're from Bridlewood, right? It's really surprising that I've never met you! What's your family name?"
Misty seized in sudden terror, and I saw her mouth twitching as she tried to invent some elaborate deception on the spot. I sighed, and simply twirled around to face the unicorn again. "I suppose I should properly introduce myself. Olive Aconite, of the Aconite Clan," I said, offering a hoof to the surprised unicorn. "My family are harvesters on the far side of Bridlewood."
"Which far side?" Izzy asked.
"Whichever one you visit the least, evidently. However," I drew my face close to her widened eyes. "I'd advise you don't go looking for us. Unicorns are known to disappear quite easily in our neck of the forest. Some say the trees there have a taste for flesh and will eat ponies whole. Terrible way to go. Have a good day, now."
I hummed cheerily as Misty and I left the stunned unicorn behind, only realizing after a minute or so that Misty was staring at me. "What? I was deceiving ponies a thousand lifetimes before you were born, Misty. Give me some credit."
"So if they find our egg, they get..."
"Candy," Misty explained.
"And if they fail, they get..."
"Well, they don't get the candy."
"There are no consequences for failure? What kind of motivation is that?" I scoffed.
"Well, ponies really like candy. And plus, solving puzzles is fun!" Misty said.
"I assure you, when I want to test a pony, they will not be having fun," I insisted. "Perhaps we could make the eggs detonate if they aren't found in time? That would be quite a powerful incentive, I feel. Yes, perhaps I will retain this tradition once I rule Equestria."
Misty fell silent as we trotted the streets, unable to trump my marvelous idea, and resigned herself to carrying my egg as I strode down streets I'd only ever seen from a scryer's eye view. Apparently she was content to let me decide our hiding place, and so I veered away from the bustle of the town center, eventually arriving at an unkempt cottage bordered by beds of wilted plants. Very dreary. It reminded me of home more than anything else I'd seen here.
"Oh... wait. We can't hide it here," Misty suddenly piped up. "That's Posey's cottage."
"Word to the wise, Misty, don't ever tell me what I can and can't do," I snapped. "Explain."
"Posey doesn't get on well with other ponies. She won't like it if she sees us near her house."
"I like her already," I said with a cheery smirk. "Well, then, this is perfect, isn't it? Nopony will dare to come here, so they'll never find our egg. Fear is a weapon, learn how to wield it." I levitated the egg from her back. "Dig up the flowerbed, and let's get this done."
"I can't do that!" she said, horrified. "I mean... um... if I do that, ponies will know we buried something here. Trust me, some ponies in this town are great detectives. They'll see the clues."
I sighed. "Fine." I strode up the steps to the cottage door and rapped sharply on it. Misty gave me a panicked head-shaking gesture, which I ignored as the door opened to reveal a dishevelled yellow earth pony.
"Delivery for you," I announced, thrusting the egg at her. "Keep it safe. Don't let anypony have it."
"Sure," said the pony in a dreary, lifeless voice. "Will do."
"Posey?" Misty called out, stepping forward. "Are you... are you okay?"
"Fine," said Posey flatly. There was something familiar about that voice - a hint of a whine that I was sure I'd heard before, although louder and more grating. Had I met this one before? I didn't recognize her, although it looked like she'd really let herself go recently; her eyes were framed by unsightly bags, and her mane and tail dragged and drooped much like the dying plants in her garden.
"Oh my gosh! What happened to your cutie mark!" Misty exclaimed. Ah, now I remembered. The annoying pony I met last week.
"Go away," Posey said, in a dull, defeated tone. "I don't want visitors."
"You heard the mare, Misty," I told her. "We're done here." The door slumped shut behind us as we left the cottage.
"Opaline... did you... did you take her cutie mark?" Misty asked nervously.
I laughed. "Who else do you think? I like her much better this way, don't you? Much more cooperative." I sighed happily. "Imagine it, darling. Everypony in Equestria without their cutie mark, too miserable to even think about questioning me. And me, with all of their magic, and all of the power in the world. Oh, it's so beautiful," I sighed dreamily. "And of course you, my faithful Misty, by my side. We're so very close now, aren't you excited?"
I looked out across the town of Maretime Bay, taking a deep, satisfied breath of salty sea air. "Thank you for bringing me here, Misty. You were right. This was exactly what I needed."
"Yeah," said Misty quietly, from somewhere behind my shoulder. "Me too."