“Do you know where you’re going?” Thornton asked as he caught up with his older brother. “Because I definitely don’t.” Reece was moving in long strides, his gaze fixed forward as he strode quickly along. Thornton had to gallop to catch up to him and Barney. How he knew how to gallop without tripping over his limbs, he didn’t know, but he didn’t think too hard about it.
“No, but I can figure it out,” was the quick reply. More anger and frustration leaked off of him, but thankfully the intensity of it was already going down. He wondered if Reece always felt this angry. It might be interesting to stay as attuned to emotions back on Earth as he was here, so long as he didn’t have to be a bug. Or starving.
“Why are you following me?” Reece asked. “I thought you said you didn’t sleep.”
“I didn’t. I’m not tired.”
“Well you need to go to sleep when you can at some point,” the kirin told him. “Sure, things seem okay now, but we still don’t know anything about this place, Equestria. Things could change.”
“I know things could change,” Thornton replied flatly as he followed behind him, keeping his eyes at head level. “I haven’t been tired. I’m just hungry.”
“And you eat emotions. Right.”
Thornton might have been able to kind of read his brother’s mind, and know why he was upset, but that didn’t make him understand the reason. He genuinely didn’t get it.
“Do you really think this is all it’s cracked up to be?” Thornton asked him. “Being a weird bug who can’t eat or sleep?”
“I didn’t say that.”
The changeling sighed. “You were thinking it though.” Scratching wanting to stay attuned to emotions on Earth. It kind of sucked being able to read everyone’s mind all the time. “No, I’m not just guessing,” he finished.
“I didn’t say that either, and wasn’t thinking it,” Reece replied. If he wasn’t a changeling, Thornton would’ve believed him. Instead, he tasted the annoyance and frustration coming off of his older brother. The bug sighed again and became silent.
The outside world appeared to the two of them before long. His brother instructed him that they should keep track of where they were going, and went into an explanation about how he learned to do so, describing how to spot irregularities they could use to find their way back if need be. Thornton didn't think it was much use; they walked on a regular dirt path away from the castle, one they could easily follow back to their new home. He let him talk anyway. Thornton tried to ask questions to keep him speaking, too. It made his brother's anger dissipate and be replaced with sweet, sort of tart tasting enjoyment.
Barney walked next to him, and occasionally brushed up against Thornton's leg affectionately. It happened every so often, right when the bug was feeling like he needed an extra little boost of positivity. He wondered if their dog could taste emotions like him, but then decided against it. Barney had always been that way.
Neither Thornton nor Reece knew where the path they were on would take them, but it was a pretty one at least. The view was very scenic, with lush green trees and bushes and multicolored flowers sprouting near the edge of the road. There were squirrels and birds and rabbits that he saw and did his best to appreciate. Barney followed obediently, looking around like he was taking in and appreciating the view, too. He wouldn't have been surprised if he was. He was acting way more intelligent than he did on Earth. He could feel it.
There were little emotions he picked up on from all of the animals he saw, but nothing terribly strong. It was fleeting, simple things, like fear, and curiosity, and force of will. Interestingly, it seemed like their smaller bodies sent off weaker streams of emotions, too. The way those large wolves in the forest quickly filled his senses, these small creatures brought him only fleeting glimpses of their thoughts before they were gone again. Strange.
Neither he nor Reece dared to step off the path, given their experience last night, and so followed it down to wherever it led. It was a route that passed through a shaded area of trees and over hills, before finally coming up upon a plain. Beyond that plain was what both knew to be Ponyville, seeing as they passed through it just the night before. The emotions were starting to drift Thornton's way.
"Do you think that's the capital of Equestria?" Reece asked. "That girl has her castle here."
"I think she said it was somewhere else, but I don't remember. It looked kind of small last night to be the capital of a whole country."
"I wonder what their military structure is like. I might read up on that."
Thornton had to laugh at that. Was this the first time he laughed since he woke up yesterday? He wasn't sure. It felt good, even if the laugh he heard was unfamiliar to him. Even Barney seemed to smile.
He felt more emotions as they approached the town. Each new one hit his senses one by one as the taste floated on an invisible vapor trail to him. It wasn't something he paid much attention to the night before, but then everyone was sleep when they passed through, and the emotions were much more muted. These ones were direct and complex and had many subtle intricacies about them. Who someone liked, who they disliked, what they felt bad and good about– one by one they all came to his senses in a mixture of individual flavors he could pick apart. He was getting used to it by now, being around his family most of the day.
What he wasn't used to was just how many of them were coming at him. Ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred, more. Every step closer he got to the city brought more emotions hitting him, forcing him to process them. It wouldn't be so bad if it was one mass of general feeling. Instead though, he was forced to pick out what each pony gave off, individually, all at once. He had to stop and take a breath.
He watched Barney tug on Reece’s tail to force him to stop, too. His older brother turned and laughed. “Getting tired already?” he asked lightly. “It’s barely been a mile or two. We can find a bench or something to rest at.
The farther they moved, the worse it became. Thornton had heard about sensory overload, but had never actually experienced it before. Was this what it felt like? Taking in hundreds of emotions from all the ponies around you all at once? Because this felt horrible. He wanted to turn and run. They were barely even in the city yet!
"Thorn?" his older brother asked. “Are you okay?” The bug barely registered his words, barely knew Reece was there, he was so taken up by all the emotion. How could there be so many?
"Thornton!" Reece insisted, now using his hooves to make him turn and face him. It was getting hard to tell what even his brother was feeling, but he knew it was something like worry. If he stood a few feet farther away, he might not even be able to guess at which one of these thousands of emotions belonged to him.
"Tell me what's going on," Reece continued. His voice was authoritative, but affirming, one that commanded his attention while attempting to set him at ease. "You're shaking like a leaf, and your teeth are chattering."
Thornton closed his eyes. A little less stimulation, even just closing his eyes, was something. It barely made a dent in how quickly he was becoming unraveled, but a small dent was better than nothing.
"There's so many," Thornton whispered. He was barely able to get the words out, barely able to even keep his eyes closed. His chest hurt, and he felt what might have been sweat dripping from his forehead. Was it getting harder to breathe, too? He couldn't bear the thought of moving one more millimeter farther into Ponyville.
“So many what?” Reece pressed, his older brother moving closer to him. “Tell me what’s going on.” He had a hoof placed on his shoulder. Concern, that was the exact emotion he was feeling. Concern mixed with fear, for him. Normally it would’ve tasted pretty good– if such a thing could be considered normal– but he didn’t even register the hunger that had been accompanying him since he woke up. His senses were being overwhelmed.
"Feelings." His breaths were picking up pace. It was getting harder to breathe. He genuinely felt like he was going to die from all these emotions. He stayed standing in place, unable to do anything else but shake.
"I think you're having a panic attack," Reece told him. "Try to slow your breathing."
Was he having a panic attack? Thornton had never had one in his life, but he imagined this was what it felt like. As though the world was closing in and he was gonna be killed by his senses. It was hard to even think of anything else with so much information hitting him. There was no way to block out all the emotion that came at him in a barrage. He couldn’t slow his breathing.
“Let's get you out of here, okay?” Reece grabbed his side, and Barney gently brushed against him to get him moving back the way they came. Thornton had to will himself to take a step away from the town. His body seemed to resist him. He would practically have to be carried out of here.
Little by little, they moved away, and the emotions started to fade again. It helped, but the changeling was still shaking. He was still struggling to move, and had to keep his eyes closed.
“Take deep breaths, in and out,” his brother instructed. “You’re gonna be fine. I know it seems scary, but you’ll be fine. It’s gonna pass. I’m here for you.”
It was hard to focus and take deep breaths like he said, but Thornton tried his best to follow along. He closed his eyes again as he let Reece lead him away from the city, giving himself over to him. His voice was calm, almost soothing. He trusted his words, and his breathing slowed down a little.
“You’re not in any danger,” he continued. “It’s gonna pass. Breathe at the pace of my voice. In… and out. In…”
Thornton listened, and followed along. He didn’t know where or when Reece had learned how to handle something like this, but he was grateful for it. It helped, a lot. It also helped that he was moving away from a city full of emotions that invaded his mind. His shaking lessened, and he was able to walk easier, but he was still sweating, and his chest still hurt.
They didn’t stop moving until Thornton was finally able to speak again. “Right here is fine,” he said breathlessly, anxiously, still breathing hard. He gave one last shiver, then flopped to the ground in the dirt, placing his hooves under him. It was like all his energy had been zapped from him. He had nothing left. He started to cry.
“That was horrible,” he said quietly, still not ready to open his eyes. They were far enough away that all he tasted was Reece’s and Barney’s emotions, not to mention numerous small animals. Forest animals, like squirrels and bunnies and birds– he could deal with that. Same for a sleeping city. A city that was awake and having a day full of experiences like Ponyville was having right now was not good.
Barney curled up next to him as Reece said, “It’s okay. You’re fine now. It’s over. You were definitely having a panic attack.” A brief pause came from him, then he asked, “What was going on?”
“All those feelings,” Thornton replied shakily. His older brother waited for him to continue, but the bug went no further. He would just have to figure out what he meant, because explaining it right now would take too much energy. Thornton was still reeling, still crying, and his chest still hurt. He was too tired right now to even wipe the sweat off his forehead.
He stayed where he was laying for he didn’t know how long. It couldn’t have been more than a half hour though. The concern he tasted from Reece helped Thornton to feel a little bit better, but he was still completely out of it by the time his older brother suggested they try and head back to the castle. He wiped the tears from his eyes.
Now you know being a bug sucks, Thornton thought silently, sniffling loudly, wishing the kirin could read his mind like he could the kirin’s. I can’t even make it to the town without getting overwhelmed.
“Maybe you’re just not used to being a changeling yet?” Reece suggested, catching Thornton off guard enough that he almost believed he could read his mind, too. “I’m sure it’s difficult for all of us. It’s okay now though. You just gotta push through it, even when it sucks. That’s what the sergeants tell us in class, and it works. Just keep on keepin’ on, as best you can.”
Thornton couldn’t even sigh at that, he was so tired. His shoulders slumped as Reece helped him up and let the bug lean on him for support. He could feel sympathy coming from Barney, almost like the dog knew that ‘pushing through it’ wouldn’t help him at all.
I’d rather be at home in bed, he thought uselessly as his brother helped him get to their family.