It was midnight when Twilight arrived home with her guest. They had been busy for most of the day. Princess Calliope, disguised as Vinyl Scratch, had ‘moved out’ of her apartment and quit her job (much to her employer’s disappointment). The two had spent the rest of the day packing, deciding that having a door that went straight from a public library in ponyville to a room in canterlot castle was a little too risky. The two walked into the library to find an unexpected surprise.
“Oh, Twilight darling, you’re home.”
“Rarity? What are you doing in my house?”
“Well, little Spike was practically exhausted from working the library by himself almost all day, and Sweetie Belle was having a sleep over at Applebloom’s, so I volunteered to help him out until you got home. The poor thing was so tired he fell asleep in the middle of dinner. I thought since I was already here so late and you weren’t going to get home until late at night, I’d-” it was at this point that Rarity finally noticed that Twilight wasn’t alone. “…oh…I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there. My name is-”
“Rarity, yeah I know. We’ve met before. You hired me to play the music at a fashion show.”
“Oh, so that’s why you look so familiar. I’m afraid I don’t remember your name though…”
“I’m Vinyl Scratch.” The DJ ‘Unicorn’ turned to Twilight. “Can you point me to my room? I’d kind of like to get unpacked.”
“The bedroom’s right up those stairs.”
‘Vinyl’ immediately levitated her two suitcases in through the door and carried them up the indicated stairs. Twilight turned her attention back to Rarity, who was mildly confused as to what the canterlot native DJ from one of her fashion shows was doing unpacking two rather large suitcases in Twilight’s upstairs bedroom.
“Uh…I guess I probably should have mentioned she was my cousin the last time she was in town…”
The cover story had been created with careful contemplation by all who were involved in the plan, and they had ended up with cousin because of the way ‘Vinyl’ had a similar coloration to Twilight’s brother, Shining Armor. The Purple pony felt bad about lying to her friend, but knew it was the best choice since the truth had a higher potential for causing problems.
“Well she certainly seems nice…I was going to ask if I could stay the night, but seeing as I’m not sure you’re cousin would like to share the guest bed on her fist night here, I’m just going to head home. Goodnight dear.” The dressmaker said as she headed out the door.
“Goodnight Rarity, and have a safe walk home.” the librarian said to her friend, before shutting the door behind her, and locking it so she could turn in for the night. At that exact moment, Princess Calliope came down the stairs in her natural form.
“Why is there no second bedroom? You know; one with a door for privacy?”
“Sorry, I probably should have told you I didn’t have a spare guest room. But don’t worry; I’m sure I can convert one of the studies into one by the end of the week.”
“So I’m going to have to live in a public library, in a room without a door, for a whole week? I knew this was a bad idea…”
“Relax. Most of the ponies in town are really good about respecting the privacy of others. I’m certain we’ll make it through the week just fine.”
*
At six in the morning the next day, Twilight went downstairs to start cooking a ‘thank you’ breakfast for Spike. Half an hour later, the little dragon came running down the stairs. “Twilight!”
“In here Spike!”
Her number one assistant rushed into the kitchen with a mild look of panic on his face. “Why is Princess Celestia’s daughter sleeping in the guest bed?”
“Oh, right, you weren’t awake when we got home last night, so I decided to wait to tell you.” The little dragon’s caretaker explained the situation to her assistant, stressing the importance of keeping their guest’s true identity a secret as much as possible. “Promise me you won’t tell anypony Spike.”
“Not even Rarity?” Her assistant asked.
“Especially not Rarity. She has connections with the nobility. You can’t even tell her if she promises to kiss you for it.”
“Not even for a kiss from Rarity?” Spike repeated.
“Spike, I need you to Pinkie Promise me on this. You’ve already been sworn to secrecy about her once, but I need to make sure.”
“Okay, I promise…not even for a kiss from Rarity. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” He swore rather dejectedly. There went one chance for him to get a kiss from the pony of his dreams.
“Did somepony just Pinkie Promise?” exclaimed a particular pink party pony as she popped partway out of the pantry, scaring the princess’ personal protégé and her pintsized purple assistant.
“Pinkie Pie, how long have you been in there?!”
“Only about five seconds…why, were you two talking about some super special secret something I shouldn’t know about?
Oh, you should tell me about it! You can totally tell me about it; I’m the best secret keeper in ponyville! They don’t call it a ‘Pinkie Promise’ for nothing you know.”
“Pinkie, I-”
“Hang on a second!” Pinkie sniffed the air for a second and then jumped out of the pantry. “I smell new pony!”
Twilight panicked. She’d told Calliope the lack of a door wasn’t going to be a problem. Unfortunately, she’d forgotten about Pinkie Pie and her…well…Pinkieness. The Party pony would most definitely figure out Calliope’s secret, one way or the other, but Twilight made a promise to keep the secret as best she could which meant she had to try and stop her anyways. The party pony sniffing the floor and following the scent of stranger, like Winona tracking down a lost animal. Twilight had to act quickly to delay the pink pony’s discovery of the alicorn’s identity. Thinking fast, she teleported in between Pinkie and the kitchen door.
“Pinkie, wait; I need to ask you a real quick favor! Can you throw a surprise party for my cousin?”
“Your cousin?” the Earth-pony stopped her advance, looking up at Twilight.
“Yeah. She just came to town yesterday to live with me for a few months.”
“Oh, so that’s why I smell new pony in your library.” The Party pony said as she stood up straight.
“Yeah, but the thing is, she’s really tired since we didn’t get in until late last night, and I’d like it if you waited until the party to meet her, so she can get as much rest as possible.”
“Okie dokie lokie, Twilight; just bring her to Sugarcube corner at around three o’clock, and leave everything else to your good friend Pinkie Pie.” and with that Pinkie jumped back into the pantry, closing it behind her. There was a moment of awkward silence, before Twilight used her magic to open the pantry again, revealing it to be empty of the crazy party pony.
“Typical Pinkie…”she said out loud.
She sighed in relief, having delayed the inevitable, and then she went back to cooking breakfast. When she finished, she went to head upstairs and wake up her guest. She was half way to the staircase when the door to her library burst open, as Rainbow Dash shot past, crashing into the bookshelf on the other side of the room.
“Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?!”
The Pegasus picked herself up from her crash and dusted herself off. “Well I didn’t see you around yesterday, so I thought I’d stop by, see if you were alright, borrow a Daring Do book or two…” She suddenly moved forward until her face was two inches in front of Twilight’s, her expression being one of anger. “…and maybe figure out why the hay you left me alone with Fluttershy to watch the stupid butterfly migration yesterday!”
Twiligth gasped in horror. “Oh no! That was yesterday?! I thought it wasn’t until next week! I can’t believe I missed it!”
“What the hay were you doing anyways?! Applejack didn’t see you around either and all I got from Pinkie when I asked was something about you being in canterlot. If you were going to go that far out of your way to skip out on Fluttershy, you should have at least taken me with you!” the Pegasus ranted in a fury.
“I was getting new books for the library, and helping deal with a minor family problem…and I didn’t want to skip the migration; I actually forgot about it.” the lavender unicorn defended.
“A family problem? Oh, hey, why didn’t you just say so in the first place? I wouldn’t come charging in here all fired up and stuff if I’d known that.” Rainbow Dash didn’t sound mad anymore…she actually sounded a bit sad and maybe a little embarrassed. “Family first and all…I totally get why you didn’t go. I mean, of course it had to be a family problem; the only other thing that could make you miss such an egghead-ish event as the butterfly migration would be the princess herself. So…I should probably get going then, see ya!” and with that Dash turned around and bolted out the door as fast as she could. Twilight simply stood there, staring out the door, unsure of what to make of what had just happened. Deciding not to dwell on it, she shut the front door, and resumed her task of fetching Calliope for breakfast.
*
“So what are we going to do today?” Celestia’s daughter asked the unicorn after swallowing a mouth full of hash browns.
“Well I’ve got to go apologize to my friend Fluttershy for missing the butterfly migration yesterday. I’ve got to ask a few ponies around town to give back some overdo books. I need to go to Sugarcube Corner at three to pick up an order…and of course, I need to introduce you to my friends.”
“You mean introduce ‘Cousin Vinyl Scratch’ to your friends, right?”
“About that…I was thinking that it might be helpful if we-”
“No. I refuse to tell anypony else about who I really am. Nopony can know, or all the hard work of keeping me a secret will be wasted.” The princess adamantly refused. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie fell from the ceiling, landing on the alicorn’s back. Her sudden presence startled both of the other ponies.
“But why would you want to be kept a secret?” She asked as she hopped off of the alicorn, whose body had yet to feel the force of her ever landing there in the first place.
“PINKIE PIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” Twilight screamed in horror, as Calliope froze in terror at the sight of the party pony. She wasn’t wearing her glasses; her true form was completely exposed.
“Reconnaissance mission. I can’t throw a party if I don’t know what you’re cousin likes…but wowie, I never would have guessed you were related to Celestia’s daughter!” the Party pony gasped. “Wait! If she’s your cousin, and Princess Celestia is her mom, does that mean Luna’s your real mother, Twilight?”
“What…but…how did you…?” Calliope tried to form a coherent string of words to express her thoughts, but found herself incapable of doing so due to the sheer overwhelming amounts of shock and confusion in her current situation.
“First rule of dealing with Pinkie Pie: don’t try to figure out how she does what she does. It only causes problems.” Twilight declared, having managed to bounce back from the initial shock of her friend’s sudden arrival. “And don’t panic; I made a contingency plan just in case this happened.”
“You have a plan for this?!”
“Yep.”
“As in, you were expecting this to happen?!”
Twilight shrugged. “It’s Pinkie Pie; of course she was going to figure the secret out.”
“Yep, and now I’m going to be sworn to secrecy.” The pink pony in question said as she did a cartwheel past the two of them. When she came to a stop, she recited her signature rhyming promise. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“The plan works; crisis averted.” Twilight stated triumphantly.
Calliope gave the lavender unicorn a disbelieving look. “That’s your plan? She does a cartwheel and says a rhyme, and suddenly everything’s okay?”
“Not just any rhyme; my pinkie promise. And I never break a Pinkie promise, because nopony ever breaks a Pinkie promise, ever.”
“Oh, come on, somepony has to have broken their promise at least-”
“Ever.” Pinkie repeated, in a more forceful tone.
“So some silly little rhyme is supposed to automatically make it impossible for the promise to be broken?” The Princess inquired.
“It’s not the rhyme that makes promise be kept…” Twilight muttered.
“Besides, she didn’t even say what specifically she was promising…”
“I Pinkie promised to help keep your secret a secret as best I could, and I never break a Pinkie promise because nopony breaks a Pinkie promise, ever.”
“But-”
“Ever!”
The princess hung her head in defeat, already far too tired to continue arguing with the eccentric pink pony. “Fine…it’s not like I have any choice but to trust you, since the damage has already been done.”
“And for the record, she’s not really my cousin, Pinkie, that’s just part of the cover story.” Twilight added, as she resumed eating.
“Really? Well then hi there Twilight’s not-cousin; I’m Pinkie Pie!” The part pony said as she suddenly popped up between Calliope and the table.
“So I heard…” She scooted away from the pony, yet another expression of panic appearing on her face. She continued to back up until she felt herself bump into somepony. Startled, she whirled around to see who it was, but let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was just Pinkie Pie…
“Wait! How the hay did you…but you were just…” Her eyes darted back to see that Pinkie was no longer where she had seen her when she had bumped into her where she was now. The Alicorn’s head started aching from processing the information from the previous sentence.
“It makes more sense the less you think about it.” Twilight stated helpfully, sipping her morning tea as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.