“Hey you, you’re finally awake,” Pinkamena greets me this loop. No, she’s not Pinkamena, I know what I saw.
“Drop the act, who are you really?!” She just laughs it off.
“Don’t be a silly filly Twily, I’m Pinkamena.”
“Then how do you explain Pinkie Pie being on the bed in that locked room over there?” She looks really surprised by this.
“Do you have a Twilight Sense?”
“What, no, but I do have my ways.”
“There’s nopony in there, here, I’ll show you.” I follow her as she bounces to the door and opens it. Sure enough, no sign of Pinkie Pie in here like in the previous loop. What is going on here?! “Why would there be another Pinkie around? There can only be one of me you silly billy. You’re acting really suspicious. Are you an imposter? Are you sure you’re the real Twilight? My Pinkie Sense says yes.” She then rubs her chin. “But I’m keeping an eye on you miss.” I know what I saw in there. She can’t just act like nothing was going on... no, she can actually. How can I prove what I saw? I don’t want to mention too much about the time loop anymore, least her Pinkie Sense catches on and makes it that much harder for me to do anything.
Her Pinkie Sense might have kicked in since the previous loop and she moved the body before I woke up. Clever mare, but I won’t give up. If this isn’t Pinkie Pie, even if she calls herself Pinkamena for some reason, how can I expose her? Who could even have the power... Changelings! Of course, we just dealt with Changelings and who’s to say we truly got them all last time? At least that’s my theory anyway. How can a Changeling mimic Pinkie Pie who is well, Pinkie? Are Changelings really that capable or is there something else going on here? “Pies, cakes, cupcakes, all the deserts and treats you can Pinkamena,” I order her. Although she’ll cake those far faster than what should be possible, it takes longer than me asking her just to bake one of those.
Is this a trap to suck love out of me? But that can’t be it, I’m not currently in love with any pony. They would need another plan after they failed at my brother’s wedding. Is this revenge? I know so little about Changelings beyond their shapeshifting, what else are they capable of? Is this time loop within their power? Is that what’s going on? Capture me, send in a Changeling to punish me, and put us in a time loop to prolong my suffering? This seems to be the most logical conclusion I can come up with.
Let’s say I am right, what do I do? Did I figure out the rules of however this works well enough? That monster kills me out of boredom if a certain amount of time passes regardless of what we’re doing. She acts somewhat differently in every loop. I haven’t seen the last locked room yet. She’s been making her kills on me take longer lately. I have to keep her distracted before she also kills me out of boredom sooner. I’ve been real good at just getting her to bake stuff which surprisingly still works. But if she is a Changeling, she would probably not benefit from eating food. But I don’t know if it helps Changlings at all given my limited knowledge about them. None of the books are anything helpful unless I subject myself to a lot more deaths in order to try to find any secrets within.
The real Pinkie Pie is in here somewhere. Or maybe that one is fake and this Pinkamena is real. No, that would make even less sense. What if this loop is a trap to get me angry enough to murder the real Pinkie Pie and then end the loop, forcing me to live with her murder?
All of this and I haven’t been able to use any magic since whenever this whole thing started. If I can somehow get rid of this magic binding ring on my horn, my number of options open up a whole lot, probably enough to finally end this loop, or remain further stuck. How am I to remove this? My own attempts at trying to pull it off with my hooves have failed every single time I tried. The ring connects right on the most inner part of my horn, so I can’t slam my head against something till it breaks without also possibly damaging my horn.
Could I use my horn as a weapon? No, the tips of horns are mostly smooth, not sharp enough to impale ponies. The number of accidents that could have caused otherwise. Unless I can find a way to sharpen my horn into a lethal tip, but how? I might have to break it enough to make it sharp from what’s left, but that would be extremely painful due to how sensitive horns are. Yet I’m running out of options here.
Pinkamena would have to be the one to get the ring off. The million-bit question is how. And just like escaping, I might not be able to do it again come the next loop. Maybe let’s not do that yet till I’m sure I tried out my other options. I can still attempt to figure out a way to kill her with her own knife, but unlike my previous attempt, I need to be smarter about this, find any kind of weakness at all.
Her Pinkie Sense might not always work. The real Pinkie didn’t know about the Changelings. I’m still upset that no pony believed me at first. Then again, we didn’t believe Pinkie when she found a solution to draw the Parasprites out of Ponyville. Where did they go afterward? Rumors stated Celestia banished them to the sun, but that doesn’t seem right. That would be overly cruel to be sure. But then ponies also say she has a much darker side to her. Who am I kidding at this point? Ponies are always saying somepony has a hidden dark side. They even think I’ll somehow become an alicorn and then rule Equestria with an iron hoof, by being too powerful to be stopped. What? I know Princess Cadance used to be a pegasus before she became an alicorn, but would that really happen with me?
I’m getting off track here. Although if I were an alicorn, I probably could easily overpower my way out of this situation. But don’t sell yourself short Twilight, you are the most popular unicorn in all of Equestria. Too bad I can’t use my unicorn magic. Hmm... everything has limitations, right? Surely even a magic binding ring can be overloaded and break. I probably process enough magic to do so.
Another option is to reform the Changelings, but is that really possible? Perhaps they need a better outlet to feed on love. Queen Chrysalis doesn’t seem like the one who would ever quit her evil ways. And for that matter, probably not Discord either. If he truly is a god, he lived for at least a million years. If we go as far back as the first signs of chaos ever, then billions of years. And how do you change the mind of a creature who’s lived for that long?
Stay on topic Twilight! I still can’t confirm this Pinkamena is a Changeling just yet. “Equestria to Twilight, you must have been really deep in your Twilighting. Food is ready.”
“Yeah, it’s easy to get lost in my own thoughts.”
“You don’t have to when you have the greatest marefriend of all time.”
“Pinkamena, can you please listen to me, like really listen?”
“I’m all ears, and other body parts, but ears so I can listen.”
“There is a pony I used to have a crush on, Princess Celestia. I was in my teenager years and one day, I just found her overwhelmingly beautiful. This hardly went anywhere when I brought it up to her. It’s not easy getting over your first crush.
“Ever since I made new friends shortly after moving to Ponyville, I wondered if I would ever fall for any of them. I can’t say I have yet. I don’t entirely know how love works and what triggers it. I haven’t put much thought into what a future wife could be like. I don’t think any pony has developed a crush on me yet and if so, they haven’t told me about it. And I’m not talking about you, it’s clear you feel something for me.”
“It’s simple Twilight, you got me now and we can be together forever and ever. I’ll find a way for us to be together in the afterlife or have eternal life.”
“Pinkamena, I feel sorry for you that you forced me into this situation. If only you could have found a pony to love you without you forcing it or threatening to kill them. Whatever you seek, you can’t find it with me. This can never work, no matter how badly you want it, because you’re not right in the head. You’re not the Pinkie Pie I know, you’re something else. And no matter how many times I try to tell you this, it never seems to stick. If only you knew just how right you were about this eternality.
“And although you’ll probably kill me yet again, I won’t give up on escaping this nightmare. There has got to be a better way for you too. I don’t know how you were raised or why you decided to take on the form of one of my close friends, but surely there’s another pony for you out there where you can be you without impersonating one of my close friends. I’m not a matchmaker, but perhaps Rarity can help. However, you have to stop killing me for not being your ideal pony. You don’t realize it, but this time loop is affecting you as well.
“Your Pinkie Sense keeps adjusting to events that happened, which is breaking the usual rules of time loops and has your behavior be different in every loop even if I try to act the same. If you really are a Changeling, I admit to knowing little about them, but I’m willing to help you if you would let me find a real source of love.
“But it has to be an open and honest relationship as you. Keeping such a big secret between your lover will backfire and probably end on a sour note. You don’t have to keep pretending to be a pony you’re not anymore. I know the real Pinkie Pie is here somewhere.
She starts to cry. “You don’t understand how badly I need you. I love you Twilight and I just don’t know any other way. I’ll let you leave, but please do so quickly before I... before I lose myself and kill you.” She opens the exit door for me. This time, I’m going to explore more. As I go down the stairs, I quickly realize there’s not really any other rooms other than on the top floor. Where is all the food she is supposedly keeping? I can’t seem to find any secrets. Maybe last time I left something killed me without me realizing. When I’m at the front door, I open it and move back, expecting a trap, but there is none. I let a hoof out the door and still nothing. I move...
“Good evening Twilight, I want to take our love to the next level and so I’ve been thinking, we should have babies.” So, escaping just brought me right back again.
“What?! Pinkamena, don’t you realize we’re both mares? We would need a stallion to do that and I’m not interested in doing that.”
“Don’t be so quick to give up on the idea Twilight, we don’t need any stallions, just us two.” How is she not bursting out laughing at this silly idea yet?
“Do you have any idea how complex any kind of sex change spells are even for me?”
“Oh no, it wouldn’t involve that. I’m sure you can figure out someway while keeping us fully mares. We’ll have a magical lesbian spawn!” No no no! Not with this monster, no way. Motherhood is one of the last things on my mind right now. And it wouldn’t matter in this time loop anyway since I never survive more than a few hours at most. How do I reason with her this time? I’m quickly running out of ideas and I’m really starting to lose my patience. So now I’ll resort to numerous ways to try to manipulate her.
“Pinkamena, I think there’s a bomb threat to this building. If we don’t leave soon, it could blow up and take us with it.” She looks shocked by this.
“Really? Twily, this is very serious. But my Pinkie Sense is not returning anything.”
“It sure doesn’t pick up everything. Remember the Changelings and how you weren’t able to detect them sooner?”
“Oh, Changelings, yeah... but what makes you sure there is a bomb threat?”
“Bear with me here, but we’re stuck in a time loop. After awhile in the time loop, the bomb explodes, takes us with it, and we restart.” Not exactly the full truth but I’m going beyond being completely honest here.
“Do you know where the bombs are?”
“Downstairs somewhere. We should just go, I don’t think we can figure out how to disarm them in time.”
“If this is a time loop, then surely you can keep trying again and again, right?”
“I... maybe they can’t be disarmed. Come on, we just have to go and I can’t learn from the time loop if you don’t let me.”
“Ahh, this was such a nice place too. Don’t worry, we’ll build another place even further away from society, with no meanies and bombs. Somebody set up us the bomb.” What happened to her grammar there? She unlocks the door and I take off galloping very quickly.
“Wait for me Twilight! I don’t want to get blown up.” She just jumps down to where I am and stays behind me. Shouldn’t that have hurt her? I’m beginning to wonder if the real Pinkie Pie isn’t some kind of lesser goddess of randomness.
Back to where I was. “Twi-Twi, look at where I got us. This paradise just for us two.” So annoying!
“Pinkamena, I need you to be honest with who you really are.”
“Are you accusing me of not being forthcoming about my own identity?”
“Yes, I am. I been through enough time loops with you to realize something is off.”
“How do I know you’re not saying this just to get me to lie about something to fit your crazy theory?”
“Crazy? I’m not crazy, the theory isn’t crazy. I know your Pinkie Sense knows things that would only make sense if you were trapped just like me in this time loop.”
“That’s cute you think you understand my Pinkie Sense Twi-Twi.”
“You know what? I still don’t, probably never will. But please, just tell me who you really are.”
“Why won’t you trust me when I’m who I say am Twi-Twi?”
“Because how can this be a loving relationship if you’re keeping your identity from me?”
“Rude. Wait a minute, you’re probably a Changeling and you’re just trying to get me to let my guard down. Well, I know how to deal with that!” Out comes the knife. Stab.
How many loops has it been now? “How’s my most favorite pony in the world?”
“I’m not who you think I am.”
“Of course, you are. Who else could you possibly be?”
“Err... maybe you mistaken me for another pony.”
“I know who I’m looking at the real Twilight Sparkle, cutie mark and all.” She gets right in my face.
“But what if I’m not? What if I’m a fake Twilight?”
“Hey, you’re trying to trick me into accepting you not loving me. I’m not so easily fooled.”
“You’re willing to bet on that?”
“I trust myself enough to know the real Twilight and you’re her.”
“Sorry, you’re right, I felt like I was dealing with imposter syndrome. I don’t know what came over me.” How can I trick her?
“Get used to it Twilight, you’re with me now, forever!”
“No!”
“What was that?!”
“I said no!”
“You take that back!”
“No take backs you freak! Stab me, doesn’t matter, I’ll bounce right back.” And the knife pops out of her mane into her hoof.
“Choose your next words very carefully.”
“I already have, for so many time loops and you’re always too thick to ever get it no matter what I say. At best you let me out, but still with a heavy heart that you want to own me as your own personal love slave. So, take your best swing, hit me!” She looks confused by this for a moment.
“Stop toying with my emotions!”
“Like you’ve been doing to me this entire time, however long that’s been?! I keep ranting at you. I try to be compassionate to you. I make escape attempts. All of it either leads me to getting killed by your hooves or escaping. Part of me wants to give up, but I mustn’t, least I be trapped with you for all of eternality. I rather sooner be stoned for a thousand years being aware of it the whole time because at least that has an end unlike this.” She seems conflicted about this.
“Wait, you’re trying to confuse me, but I must accept you won’t love me.”
“Then just let me go and bring the real Pinkie Pie with me.”
“No, I thought about it for a couple of seconds and not having you as my lover would break me. I can’t let you go, ever.” I try to go through her mane, but it’s just that, her mane. Out comes the knife. It really must be a pocket dimension only she can access. “Stay with me forever Twilight!” Stab.
“Hello Twilight...”
“JUST DIE!” I’m feeling the heat build up within me. I can feel my magic surging through me. She’s right to be horrified upon seeing me. Out of the countless times she’s killed me, I’m finally killing her back and it’ll be because of self defense. The magic nullifying ring is broken and now I cast a fiery beam right through her heart. I see her transform into a Changeling. I knew it!