CLASSIFIED! FOR SRC USE ONLY! CLASSIFIED!
CHANGELING RANKS: A REFERENCE GUIDE
CHRONICLED BY MIDNIGHT MASQUERADE
I, Midnight Masquerade, have made this handy reference guide for the Equestrian military to use at their own discretion by the command of the Special Reconnaissance Company who didn’t like my first, tiny note. This guide is all but essential if one wishes to fight back against a changeling invasion successfully. As I have stated before… they disown me, I disown them! Good hunting, gentlecolts!
Part I: Birthing
Alright, let’s begin at the very, very beginning of a changeling’s life shall we? Yes, the infamous “where do foals come from” question that so many parents rue. Personally, I prefer the changeling method to common pony method of reproduction. It just makes more sense! You guys have genders and all this junk that complicates the entire birthing process! Let me show you using simple mathematics.
The common Pony mating rituals can be boiled down to this formula: 1 + 1 = 3(+). As you can see, you take one pony, add another pony, and miraculously get at least 3 out of it! Not only is this making me sick to my stomach to think about, but it’s also hurting my brain, so I’ll move on.
The common Changeling method uses a “Breeder.” I will talk about Breeders later on in this document, but for now, let’s see the Changeling reproductive formula: 1 + 1 = 2. Isn’t this so simple!? You take one changeling, add one pony, and you get… 2 changelings! Easy. You see, Breeders are trained to use these little glands we have in our mouths. They produce this sticky substance that can turn a pony into a changeling! Of course, they would have to be completely encased in a cocoon of it for a rather long amount of time… but there are rarely any complications! The physical transformation is quick, the mental transformation is slow. They affect each other, too! If a pony goes into a cocoon ready to become something greater, he will change within 8 hours. If a pony wants to continue to pony pony… it can take up to 48 hours. By then, the lack of food requires the pony to desperately accept their fate. This desperation can cause mental deterioration… so if you want to be a smart changeling, you’ll accept your fate quickly! Just remember my story… you should know by now that becoming a changeling does NOT mean you have to be evil!
Part II: Development
When a changeling is born, they are stripped of former ponydom. This includes Gender, color, and special talent. To a degree of course… like ponies, the changelings also have talents. They are simply not as special due to the lack of required work a changeling must endure. Because we rely on Breeders to reproduce, sexual activity is completely outdated. The hormones associated with genders are no longer produced by the changeling’s body, therefore a changeling is capable of switching genders without too much hassle. So with a major lack of motivation, you can probably see now why I’m still single… but I digress. The point is that while a changeling’s true form lacks that infamous anatomy, the forms we take still do. A preference is made in early foalhood, and none are seen as inferior. After all, the males usually make good Assassins and the females make good Manipulators. Again, I will be coming back to these ranks later on.
Once a changeling has come to terms with what they are, they may begin to truly develop. The thing that you ponies must understand about us changelings, is that our “young” come adult-sized. After all, this is a metamorphosis. You may end up going through these stages yourself someday! So pay attention as I return to the matter at hoof… the changeling must then figure out what they want to be, and this is where things get fun!
Part III: The Naming System
The naming system for a changeling is about as convoluted as a pony’s, except it’s simpler... in that not every changeling born will even get a name! You only get a name once you’ve passed combat training, and sometimes not even then! Having a name is a kind of honor, as it shows that you must be distinguished from your peers. However, just like the ponies, the names reflect an aspect of the changeling themselves. For example, “Masquerade” was my original changeling name as I became a Saboteur. Then came the time when I was able to acquire a Moonicorn form and become the first Executioner. This great change gave me a second name: “Midnight.” I guess, technically, that’s a first name... but now I’m all confused so let’s just move on, shall we?
Part IV: Military Ranks
There are a lot of them, since changelings are often led by ravenous Manipulators bent on total Love Domination. I’ve also been told that since changelings can’t see the future, we’re forced to work hard to keep each other alive. It’d be more touching if we weren’t a race of emotion stealing monsters... anyways, let’s start with the lowest military rank, shall we?
Drones
Drones are the lowest forms of changeling life. They are changelings who are either newborn or are still figuring out which way to go in their new life. They have no specific talents nor training. They wear no armor. In battle, they can be easily confused and, for this reason, they are almost never sent into actual battle. Watch out for their horn, as it is much stronger in close-quarters combat than a unicorn’s.
Soldiers
Every changeling gets some combat training. When a Drone is ready, they are trained according to whatever talent they wish to pursue, but combat training is always mandatory. Any changeling still in training or settling for basic training is called a Soldier. Their armor configurations range from none to a saddle. They’re probably the easiest targets in the Invasion force. Just watch out for their charge attack, as they use magic and wings to reach ramming speed in no time at all.
Breeders
You’d be surprised how many Breeders are in a typical changeling invasion. They are easy to see in battle, as they sport a telltale helmet designed to help them control their spray of goop as they ensnare/convert targets. They are very efficient and are often used to slow down or incapacitate enemies that could do damage to the Swarm. They make amazing hostage takers and can be an Executioner’s best friend. It should be noted that “Motherly” is not a good adjective for these soldiers. They are ending a pony’s life and they know it. More than that, they enjoy it. Fear them.
Saboteurs
Not as abundant as Breeders, Saboteurs are the undercover agents in the changeling military. Sent in advance, they scout out the opposition and report back in secret. Their specialty training includes advanced camouflage and character judgment. As killing is illegal in Changeling society, don’t expect any bombs. Their primary tool is lying—costume changes, gossip, and espionage. Watch out for unicorns using Green magic. Even highly trained Saboteurs cannot change the color of their magic! However, Saboteur Elites are known to be able to change race and even gender with their advanced spells.
Assassins
An extremely rare foe, the assassin is by far the deadliest for obvious reasons… they have royal permission to kill! Killing ponies is a capital crime in changeling society; it’s worse than burning down the local food market or apple orchard in your pony society, though the three are comparable. Assassins are very skilled with weapons, and have gear that can shift shapes as flawlessly as they can. This makes them the deadliest type of versatile in battle—very. A bow can become a sword can become a spear… etc. In all honesty, if you come across an Assassin, you’re dead. Assassins are hoof picked from the most violent/depraved of the other ranks. They show no mercy. Another fun thing about them is that they all take a short course from Sabotage school to learn stealth. Another fun fact is they are called Assassins due to the fact that everypony is regarded as essential in the changelings’ eyes, instead of the rare few in your society such as princesses and pop stars. If a base goes dark for no reason, watch out for Assassins… they tend to stick around and gather Intel. Rations? They eat parasprites.
Executioners
The highest rank of the changeling military. Executioners are the first to go behind enemy lines. They rat out high value targets and replace those around them with their squad of Assassins one by one. A Breeder can help a lot with this process, as its substance can pacify the unlucky enemy. If you get an invitation to some event by somepony you are suspicious of, never accept it, as Executioners lead their targets astray before replacing them. Executioners are hoof picked from those who have proven themselves as good judges of pony character. These can come from Breeders, Saboteurs, or even Soldiers! Regular Assassins don’t have much of a chance at all, fortunately for us. It is a fun fact that any changeling that is nominated for this position acquires the title “Elite.” While not as big a threat and not near specific enough to get their own entry, Elites are one of the most difficult enemies to conquer in a fight. Their experience and skill can surpass even an Assassin’s at times.
Part V: Non-Military Ranks
Workers
Any drone that fails basic military training hits a new low. While rare in number, the Workers are the ones doing the jobs that all intelligent life hates. They are in charge of maintenance of the Hive and other odd jobs. Their rations are set very low, and the only motivation they have for their work is survival. There are at most 3 workers in the Hive, as changelings are made ready to fight. One can only speculate as to how a changeling can fail such an easy course…
Manipulators
Basically politicians, Manipulators regulate troops through the Hive and beyond. As far as training goes, Manipulators practice spells capable of brain washing and mind control. Unlike Military changelings, Manipulators have the luxury of a pale blue mane and tail. It is speculated that it is a side effect of the spells that they practice. Great Manipulators have even developed green, reptilian eyes! All aesthetic changes only strengthen the changeling’s spells, which of course make more aesthetic changes. Manipulators are the few of changelings who can actually show gender in their true form. There is but one rank above Great Manipulator, and that is Prime Manipulator. Most just call her Queen. She was the first changeling and the first Prime Manipulator. Her growth from a small, common changeling to her Queen form is extraordinary. The spells she was able to learn allow her to outperform all others, and she is capable of manipulating her troops from great distances away. There is one great flaw with any Manipulator charged with a combat role: they do not have Saboteur training. Without proper Saboteur training, Manipulators are guarded only by a strong, but not perfect duplicate form, and their attitude cannot be covered up naturally. They make up for this using their manipulation spells and covering their tracks with convoluted stories. Even then, they need some form of major distraction to keep everypony off their tracks… such as a natural disaster. Or a wedding.