It felt like hours until the pair rounded the corner to get to Spike’s master bedroom. He opened the door for the elegant mare that tailed him. As she passed, Spike could not help but feel bad for shutting down on her. A creature of such beauty deserved better.
He slowly entered after her and carefully closed the door. He did not want others to know they were in here. A disturbance in the middle of one of his most vulnerable tales would shake him. Rarity had already taken a seat on the bed, placing herself up against the headboard with her knees drawn up like a foal ready for story time.
Hell of a story this will be.
Spike moved to the foot of the bed and sat. He twisted his torso to face her and caught the subtle hint of disappointment in her eyes. Does she want me to be there? He shook it off as a misconception. His ship had long sailed with this mare. She deserved somepony to look after her the way Spike always wanted to, but never could. He took in a deep inhale to begin his story.
“Four years ago…”
Rarity leaned forward and placed a pillow in her hooves as she listened intently. Spike glimpsed up at her graying hair, taking note of how that was another thing he had missed because of all of this.
“I came to Norfandia under the standard orders of ambassador. I met with the government. Taught their leaders the principles, basics, and benefits of friendship. President Fenris and his staff were ecstatic about the chance to not only learn about friendship, but meet an entire new species across the globe. I told them to focus on their problems at hand first. Things started simply enough; I held classes most days, teaching friendship, creating them, practicing, all the fun stuff. I still had some time to write home and read letters on my own. That was about seven months of the first year there.
“As I taught more friendship and began exporting to the civilian population, it didn’t sit right with me. The general populace was interested, but terrified. It was like they were afraid that friendship could solve so many of their problems. It took a lot of work and some warming up to, but eventually the capital city had friendship classes led by my instructors while I focused on curriculum. My next task was to take friendship to the other major cities and hopefully come home in time for Heart’s Warming.” Spike’s eye twitched as he mentioned the beloved holiday of friendship and love.
“But… clearly something went wrong.” Rarity whispered to fill in the gap. Spike nodded and swallowed.
“Understatement.” He drew his own legs up and scooted up the bed to be next to Rarity. The next part of the story was harrowing, and Spike knew he would need her support to make it through.
“I presented my schedule to president Fenris and gave a timetable for future endeavors. I promised progress the moment I came back in a month. He denied it so adamantly I would have thought he was keeping me hostage. I pressed him on it, but he just kept saying they needed me there. But then when I told him I would scrap my holiday plans and just start teaching, he denied that too. He didn’t want me to leave the capital. I wish I would have listened.
“After much convincing, president Fenris agreed to have a council with the major estates of Norfandia to decide what I ought to do. We had the cabinet assemble just over three years ago.” Spike’s eyes trailed off to the massive window that shot across the deck. The sun was lighting the sky in a flaming orange as it crossed the waterline. Trailing wisps of clouds shifted over the calm ocean. It helped soothe him into continuing. That, and Rarity’s hoof extended to touch Spike’s shoulder softly. He leaned himself into it.
“The council we hosted lasted three days. It took them three days to fill me in on…” Spike shuddered. “On the war.”
“War?” Rarity again spoke softly, careful not to interrupt the hurting dragon. He nodded and closed his eyes slowly.
“War. There had been a war in Norfandia for sixteen years. Civil war at that. It wasn’t one race against another, it was all of them against all of them. Apparently ‘friendship’ had different origins here. One group, Fenris’s, wanted friendship to benefit the people while the other side, Doxxen, wanted to control. They had been fighting ever since the first election when Doxxen lost by only a small percentage. He took a large portion of the population with him West and began launching terrorist attacks on border towns. It took Fenris almost a year to officially declare a war on his own brother.” Spike reopened his eyes, now slightly moister than before. He felt his heart strain as he remembered his next part of the story.
“The council had been fighting a losing battle. More and more people were going to Doxxen over the years because he was stronger. No one would practice friendship properly, so Fenris was losing ground fast. They had hoped my implementing of schools would help, which it did, but only barely. I… don’t really know what came over me, but I volunteered to help fight if I had to.”
“Spikey…” Rarity realized with a pain what he meant. It all clicked at once; his inability to respond to letters, his harrowed looks, even the scars he denied on his body all fit together. But she knew there was much more to this story still. He held up his claw to hold her comment.
“I didn’t want to fight, but I wouldn’t let those who stood for friendship become slaves or die. Not after all we’ve done back in Equestria. I figured ‘how hard could it be?’ We always seemed to end up alright.
“They gave me temporary command of a company just across the borderland. It was meant as a bastion guard for the whole campaign, the most intense spot for action. Soldiers cycled in and out faster than a centaur on a blood lust.” Spike’s colloquialism was unfamiliar to Rarity, but she picked up on its meaning, nonetheless. His time in Norfandia had clearly left the dragon with more culture than she initially thought.
“We were at the foot of a mountain. Really, two mountains. Barlow’s gap is what they called it. The only entrance feasible for an army to march through to the other side. I did what I could to make friends with the soldiers, but…” He swallowed again, a tear desperately trying to escape his eye. “But when they don’t come back after the first night you meet them, it gets hard.”
Rarity sat silently. She was in so much pseudo pain for her friend. She felt ashamed of the anger and frustration she harbored for Spike over the years. She had always assumed he was just mismanaging time. Rarity now felt like she ought to take a dive in the ocean just to save face from this dragon.
“I’m so sorry Spike.” That was all she knew how to say. Words could not fill the gap that hung in the air. As though he did not hear her, Spike continued. His face was now stoic in a dissociative attempt for the story.
“The reason everyone here calls me ‘sir’ or ‘hero’, or ‘beast’ is because of that mountain pass. We got overrun on my second station there. About two and a half years into my being in Norfandia. The entire base was taken in a surprise attack in the dead of night. Torches and lanterns were snuffed with a coat of gel bomb they dropped from high up, so we were completely in the dark. I began burning unoccupied tents to generate light. By the time we organized into something other than a screaming mess, twenty-six were missing with another twelve confirmed KIA. The commanding officer in Norfandia’s enlisted ranks was one of the dead ones, giving complete and total control to me. My guys realized it, most of them didn’t like it. Of the three hundred odd some left of us, two hundred fifty turned tail and booked it back to Fenris. I knew we had to hold. We were the last chance Norfandia had at friendship… at peace.”
This time, Spike clenched his fist and tightened his jaw. An anger and fire that Rarity had not seen in him sparked through his eyes as he continued staring at the darkening sky. She nervously glanced around. She did not want this story to enrage and hurt Spike or herself. Rarity sympathetically stroked his arm. It seemed to help.
“Fifty of us, roughly, held that gap for thirteen days. Trenches, traps, sacrifices, you name it, we used it. In total we took back somewhere between three hundred and five hundred of them. I…” He unclenched his claw and brought it up to examine. “I took more than fifty just by my own claws.” His tone hushed and he gulped down on the lump in his throat. Rarity let out a small gasp. The tender boy she had known, the sweetest creature to walk the earth, and the kindest dragon to live was now just as Rarity pictured most other dragons, walking death machines. She retracted her hoof slowly. She paused a moment as she saw Spike’s pained face when she did, but she felt so confused at this. He couldn’t have, could he? Would he? Her eyes cast down onto the sheets as her ears lay back in worry. She suddenly felt a tender brush against the back of her neck. It felt pleasant, but it took her off guard and she almost kicked out. It took every ounce of control for Rarity not to.
“Rarity.” Spike whispered as he came closer. “I know. You must think I’m a monster. I think I’m a monster. But… they… I…” His words caught in his throat. Rarity looked up to see tears streaming down his face. Her heart opened again as she saw his break.
“They would have killed me, my friends, women, children, anyone who stood for friendship. Celestia forbid, if they got to Equestria, they would have killed you. I couldn’t let them get you. Get anyone. I did… I did what I had to.” His words were choking him as his voice broke. His weight was slowly falling forward as his sobs shook his strength. Rarity reached her hooves around and pulled his massive body close to hers as she held him. His sobs shook her and wet her mane, but all she could think of now was how noble, but how hurt this dragon was. He deserved better. She kicked herself again for jumping to assumptions about him. This was her friend; this was the man she had dreamed about forever; this was Spike. Nothing could change that.
“It’s okay Spikey. I know, I know. You’re okay I’m here for you.” She soothed quietly as his shaking calmed a little. She was petting his back and supporting his chin on her shoulder. He was a heavy dragon, no doubt about that, but Rarity barely felt it.
Spike slowly stopped shaking, but stayed in his position. He spoke muffled through the part of her mane covering his face.
“They praised me like a hero, giving me all these titles and awards and commands, but I felt like a monster. I feel like a monster. And that wasn’t even close to the end. I continued the campaign with a new support wave, and we drove straight into their capital. I begged Doxxen to reason, to try friendship like Discord and the changelings and so many others. He spat in my face and tried to kill me. I… finished it. Right then. Two weeks ago. I still… I can still feel him in my arms as a laid him down. His smile as he went, it keeps me up. He wanted to die over embracing friendship. How can someone be like that?” His tone was angry again, but his body still weak against Rarity’s.
Rarity was processing all of this. It gripped her like a vise, reminding her that life in Equestria was pleasant, but distant. She remembered all the danger, the villains, the fights her and her friends had encountered over the years. They never had to go as far as taking a life, but every ordeal left them all hurting. Spike, who had been there for all their battles, had just faced an even bigger one.
Totally alone.
Rarity felt her own eyes begin leaking as she squeezed him against her.
“Oh, Spike darling, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” It was her turn to start shaking, and Spike began holding her in turn. She soaked his shirt in loud wails as he brushed her mane gently.
“I never knew. I would never have felt so naïve if I knew. Spikey, I’m so sorry.” She had judged her friend before considering his immense sacrifices for the world. For her.
“Shhh, it’s okay Rare. I know. It’s not your fault, none of it is.” His words steadied her a little, but her sobs continued.
The two sat there, swapping tears and embraces for the better part of an hour. Not many other words were spoken, other than some small questions Rarity had about certain battles or people. Spike had reluctantly answered what he could, but curled at more than one of her questions about the war. He had brought an end to a sixteen-year conflict seemingly single-handedly by compromising his character for the good of the world. Rarity could not imagine the turmoil in his head. After a while, Spike raised his claw to stroke her ear. It was sensitive and began flicking at his touch, but Spike had always been able to touch her there. She never allowed another stallion to. It was her only spot just for him.
“I… thought of you. A lot. It was one of the only thoughts I had to hold onto. Even Twilight’s faded into bitterness as she began sending envoys and diplomatic resources like a leader should instead of a friend. It wasn’t her fault, but it changed my outlook towards her. It felt like my sister had gone, replaced by a ruler of some far-off land. Only you kept in my mind.” His claw traced to the root of her ear, and she pressed her head into his palm. “Only the pony I could never forget.” He leaned his forehead against hers. She sighed a little in relief.
“Spikey… I’m.”
“No, Rare it’s okay. You don’t have to feel bad about not liking me. I get it. I’m not the stallion you deserve.”
“No, Spike.” She cut him off. Rarity pulled her head back just enough to look into his eyes.
“I do like you. Not as long as you did me, but I do. I… missed you. So much. I was angry when you stopped writing. Now I feel like a foal for that. But heavens, I like you Spike. More than I have any other stallion or friend.”
Her comment had made Spike freeze. He had no idea how to react to this. He was frustrated, happy, confused, angry, overjoyed, and everything else all at once. Spike had written off Rarity a long time ago.
“…When did you… you know. When did you start?” He whispered.
“You remember that night I told you about my business?” She responded timidly.
“Champagne, yea. I was an embarrassment.” He let a low chuckle run through his chest. “Your face over mine is the memory I kept most often. You were so pretty. Are so pretty.” He grinned and leaned his forehead again to hers.
“I keep that one too. I remember it all the time. I looked at your smirky little face on my couch and thought there’s my Spikey.” She slowly reached a hoof up to his cheek. “And I was a fool for not seeing it sooner.”
They sat silently. It felt like an eternity passed all too quick between them. Too many emotions were flying through the air. The only sounds were their soft breathing and sometimes awkward sifting of sheets as they readjusted on the bed. The space between them was as fragile as freshly blown glass, a palpable tension of love and confusion hanging from the drops of panged heartstrings. Here were two friends that had missed their chances together for years on end. They knew each other better than anyone, but now it felt like they were meeting for the first time. By some decree of the stars above, their hearts had come together today at the perfect time to remember and forget everything and everyone. Nothing mattered now but the body that was across from the other, the heart that was opening to receive, and the smiles that coaxed an intimacy only a fool would miss their opportunity on.
Spike was no fool.
“Rare.” He whispered her name. She gave a quiet hum in response.
“Rare…” He could not muster words. The time to talk was over. He would not wait for the mare of his dreams any longer.
Spike tilted his chin up slightly, pulling her forehead with his. She responded eagerly and lifted her own. Their mouths inched closer, but stopped just before any contact was made. They breathed with eager mouths into each other, feigning kisses as they pulled back just before anything met. Spike was driven with a lust like no other, but he would not ruin his dream moment with overzealous haste and lack of control.
---
Rarity was ecstatic at the tantalizing moves of the dragon before her. His breath was hot against her mouth and his face smooth against hers, but rough in all the right places. Her hooves moved wildly across his shirt, but she gave no indication for him to move. She wanted to relish in this dance of tease. He clearly felt the same way.
“Rare.” His voice came gruffer this time. “Rarity, I want to show you who I am now. I want to know who you are.” His whisper was carried with a guttural growl behind each one. It was tender, but each word was laced with a husky lust that Rarity knew would be overbearing soon enough.
“I want to know you too. Will you show me?” She whispered back into his mouth. Without moving a part of either body, their lips searched beneath closed eyes and connected. It was a soft one at first, but it broke into a long dance soon after they reconnected. She could feel the tip of his forked tongue brush hers as they timidly braced against the other. Their mouths began moistening with their actions making louder popping sounds as they continued.
It was not until Spike adjusted his seating that Rarity moved in closer. She pressed her chest against his shirt and gave a tiny whinny of annoyance at the fabric. She was used to having what she wanted. Spike noticed and broke their kiss. He glanced down at his shirt and smiled. Without a word, he pulled it off. Rarity felt herself unable to tear her gaze from his torso.
Lined along it were scars all over. There was one that ran from the top of his right breast down to just above his waistline. Another three marks were smaller, but just as terrifying. They traced from his left ribs up and across to his shoulder to presumably run along his back. His wings stretched slowly and for the first time, Rarity saw the damage on them. There was only one hole in the web of his left wing, but both were tattered and looked exhausted. Bruises covered the ligament that connected at his back, and they sagged dejectedly. As though reading her mind, Spike puller her hoof close and whispered.
“Most likely never fly again. Maybe Dash could hook me up with some good P.T., but they haven’t been able to work for almost a year now.” She felt the strain in his voice. She knew how long he had waited for those wings to sprout, and now he may never use them again.
“Spike…” She rubbed her hoof from his cheek down to his chest. She stopped at the slightly raised scarring that ran across it. Rarity would never make him feel any less than perfect, but she thought of how tragic it was that his scales were ruined with these terrible gashes. It hurt her inner perfectionist, but her inner mare was reveling at the sight of a man who had a story on his body. She traced along his chest in small movements as she read the lines of his tragedy. His head was still pressed against the top of hers as he slowly breathed and shuddered at her touch. If Rarity was making Spike uncomfortable, he made no effort to indicate.
Rarity glanced upwards to see the face of the brave heart twisted in an anxious expression, his eyes closed tightly and pulling at the corners of his eyes. Rarity wanted more than anything to take away all the pain riling inside of Spike. He had always been the sweetest creature in the world; nobody deserved happiness more than he.
Rarity refocused on a line of scarring that ran from the top of his right shoulder down the arm. It stopped at the small band that wrapped around his bicep, the fabric hugging his tensed muscle tightly. She pawed at it and whispered like a breeze.
“Spike, this? You said it related?” Her question made the dragon emit a heavy breath and pull back slightly. She looked up to see him following where she had indicated. He tugged on the cloth with his other claw and sank in his posture. Spike looked back to Rarity and smiled slightly.
“One of the only happy memories I brought back. Fenris gave it to me at the start of the war. He insisted I keep it at his farewell speech when his term finally ended after the war. A reminder of all the good that came despite the loss.” Spike unfastened the knot in the stained cyan. Rarity caught a glimpse of a marvelous golden dragon inlay. Her mind for fashion began turning the cogs instantly on its observation. Spike held it up for her to look at.
It was berated to hell and back. Only three spots of cyan shown through the grime and muck; at least, Rarity hoped it was dirt and not some other dark substance. The beautiful dragon that wrapped around the entire width was hiding below the layered dirt, but its head peaked through a clean patch. It made Rarity feel inspired yet submissive at the complex design. Her mind wandered down the road of fashion opportunities from the Norfandians. Clearly, it wandered too much as Spike brought the cloth away and set it on the bed.
Rarity looked back up to him and saw his eyes misting again, but a gentle smile was resting on his lips as his eyes closed in seeming pleasure regarding his memories. It coaxed a smile from Rarity too; Spike had been so grieving for the last few hours, it was good to see him smile.
“Spikey… I am so sorry. I know that’s not enough, but I am.” She raised a hoof to his cheek. He leaned into her touch gently and his smile deepened. His emerald eyes slowly cracked open and gazed down to her. A spark ignited in her chest as she shuddered from the instilled excitement of his marvelous irises.
“Thank you. I couldn’t have made it without you. I mean that.” He raised a claw to hold her hoof closer to his cheek. Rarity felt as though her body was melting into his. They were sitting in each other’s laps, her hind legs wrapped around his and their chests centimeters away from each other. Their breathing was in sync as they rose and fell together, the warmth of Rarity’s body standing against the cold scales of the dragon. His claw shifted from her hoof to her mane. Rarity craned her neck as he gently fingered through the wisps of loose hair.
“You’re just as beautiful as the day I last saw you.” His voice groaned against the quiet. Rarity let a small giggle out.
“Even with this dreadful line of grays? I cannot tell you how angry I was at the salon that day.” She let out a few more giggles and removed her hoof from his cheek to cover her mouth. Rarity caught Spike grin at that.
“Even then. It makes you look… distinguished somehow.” His claw brushed her scalp and she shivered at the sensitivity.
“You may be the only one who thinks that, dear.” She whispered into his chest as she leaned into him.
They sat there running their limbs across each other in a dance of wonder. Neither of them wanted to move, but both of them wanted to go further. Rarity had never been the initiator of such circumstances; she did not feel comfortable taking that leap now despite her trust in Spike. She was content sitting with him and imagining what would come next. It seemed as though he was too.