Chapter 4
Getafix’s hut
“Well done Asterix” Getafix congratulated as he turned the first page of the book of history in equestria, “did you save some ponies for the rest of the village?” Vitalstatistix asked while standing on his shield, “oh yes and the Romans are here” Obelix said joyfully as dogmatix barked sarcastically as he held his prize, a piece of purple mane.
Outside “MY FISH DO NOT STINK” Shouted Unhygienix, another brawl had started, Vitalstatistix got hit in the face by a dead flying fish, knocking him off his shield, “Right to the brawl lads” he shouted getting back on his shield, the two shieldbearers set off out the door with Vitalstatistix being slammed into the low hanging arch and knocked off his shield for the second time.
“Those shieldbearers are always getting me down” he grumbled, “you not the only one, this little bird hit the same place” Obelix said looking out the window, the others looked out and their helmets jumped off their heads in amazement, “oh i do say!” Anticlimax exclaimed, “A Pegasus how wonderful” Getafix said as he stepped out to greet the gray pegasus with strange eyes.
“Hello there” she said, still a little dazed, “um hello madam what are you doing here?” Vitalstatistix asked unsure, “Mail” she said, handing the chief a letter, the rest of the villagers forgot their brawl and ran to Ditzi asking, “anything for me? anything for me?”, Ditzi flew off as quickly as she could.
“Scaring the birds is such a great idea on your half” Impedimenta scoffed the other village woman backing her up, she snatched the letter out of the chief's hand a read it, “it’s a meeting for the chief and anyone he chooses to come with him” Impedimenta informed, “from the co-ruler of the land known as Celestia on behalf of equestria” the Chief forgot his own troubles and began barking orders in preparation.
“Alright well then, getafix shall stay here to make magic potion incase the romans or more ponies attack” Vitalstatistix said getting back on his shield, “Asterix and Obelix shall come with me as brains and brawns, Impedimenta your incharge” this caused a little bit of confusion, “uh chief shouldn’t one of us be in charge until you get back?” Fulliautomatix asked nervously.
“Oh and why can’t women be chief for a little bit after all I am the chief's wife!?” Impedimenta shouted back, “oh and i don’t see why you have to be nominated as chief” said her rival Mrs Geriatrix, “i’m just as capable of chief as she is”, “oh no your not!” Impedimenta yelled back, “as i already stated i am the chiefs wife”, “And do you know what i have to say to the chiefs wife?!” Mrs Geriatrix yelled back. Both ladies were nose to nose with each other.
Fulliautmoatix chuckled lightly, getting the wrong idea. Geriatrix sprung to his wifes aid, “oh you think it’s funny do you?” he said, bringing his crutch down on the blacksmith's foot, “OUCH!” FUllautomatix exclaimed, swinging his fist at where he thought Geriatrix was but instead hit the face of Unhygenix who swung his fist back.
“BACTERIA!” Unhygenix called as he was hit a second time, “GET LAST YEARS STALK OF FISH!” and within moments, as Asterix, Obelix, Dogmatix, Vitalstatistix and his shieldbearer walked out the village entrance and over the bridge, a full on brawl had started, and Cacofinix started up another song. “A great start to the journey” one shieldbearer said sarcastically, the other shieldbearer glared at his partner.
At the train station
“She can’t be serious” Rainbow dash exclaimed, she still had a black eye and a hoof in a sling after the beating the gauls had gave her, “apparently she is” Applejack said, Blueblood had fled on the train earlier to scared of the gauls to do anything else, “well in fairness to them we did kidnap their bard and you heard what they said” Fluttershy said always ready with a defense, and honestly she did have a point. “Well we should be on our best behavior, but be ready for anything” Twilight said, “i second that there here” Spike said pointing.
The royal guards outside the station who had escorted the Mane 6 were shaking in their armor upon laying sight of the gauls, they had certainly learnt their lesson, Obelix whirled his fist, “shall we get them Asterix?” he asked as Dogmatix barked, “hold your horses we have a parley remember and we don’t want to put them hors de combat just yet” Asterix replied.
“I am chief vitalstatistix of the Indomitable gauls” he introduced as the Mane 6 strolled up, some glaring at him, “i am Princess Twilight sparkle, Princess of friendship and these are my friends and fellow guardians of the elements of harmony” Twilight introduced, “a pleasure madam we bow to you” Vitalstastastix said, as he bowed. He then fell off as his shield bearers bowed to, “I said I bow not you two idiots” he snapped, the shieldbearers glared at him.
“Um well why are you on a shield anyway?” Spike asked, “because it suits the dignity of a gaulish chief” Vitalstastix said, “well you're going to have to do the walking yourself on the train” Twilight informed, “we will be departing for Ponyville then Canterlot to meet the princesses”.
“Well then what are we waiting for?” Vitalstatistix asked as he and the gauls walked away and down the tracks, “uh where are you going darling?” Rarity asked, “to ponyville aren’t you going to show us the way?” Obelix asked, “what is a train by the way?” Asterix asked.
As it turned out a train was a mod of transportation, the gauls were introduced to it and explained to, “huh sorry your going to have to put that in the luggage car” said the conductor as she stared at the Menhir Obelix had brought along, “oh oh is that a present?” Pinkie pie asked excitedly.
“Oh yes thought you could decorate your home with it” Obelix said, “oh that’s very thoughtful mister, I’m pinkie pie and my family owns a rock farm” Pinkie pie replied superfast, “well then perhaps you can add this to your farm” Obelix suggested, “that’s actually pretty thoughtful” Fluttershy said.
On the train everypony was staring at the Gauls, the Gauls of course took no notice “good day” Asterix said to a couple, “don’t mind them they just get uneasy about new things” Twilight apologized.
“Excuse me coming through” came a voice, they all looked, “Cacofonix?” the other gauls questioned, “yes i am here in order to sing infront of her highness” Cacofinix said, “alright but no practicing on the train” Vitalstatistix warned, “i agree we don’t need a storm today” Rainbow said.
“How dare you, i would not sing for you ignorant lot” Cacofinix said, “good” Rainbow dash said, “that singing is enough to make birds drop dead”, “how dare you the birds love my singing” Caconifix retorted, “of course especially the crow’s” Asterix said making the remaining gauls burst into laughter, while Caconifix scowled.
After a few hours
They arrived at Ponyville the Gauls had to admire the beauty of it, “welcome to ponyville, what do you think” Twilight asked with pride, “not bad” Asterix admitted politely, but Twilight was slightly disappointed as was her friends, “what do yall mean not bad?” Applejack demanded, “it’s very nice, reminds me of our village” Vitalstatistix said back on his ceremonial shield, “yeah but we’ve seen plenty of great sights but i’m sure you have some wonderful sights of your own” Asterix agreed.
“Well we are going to give you an official greeting to ponyville” Twilight said, “everypony will ask you questions and maybe you can make some new friends”, “and we can have a party!” Pinkie pie added throwing confetti in the air, “that sounds lovely when you introduce us?” Cacofinix asked.
Sure enough
The Gauls were behind the curtains of a stage, probably to introduce new visitor such as themselves, Cacofinix peeked through the curtains, “a good crowd out there” he said, “well no singing today or you’ll have a Menhir to deal with” Asterix warned pointing to Obelix who was holding his menhir behind his back. Cacofinix went pale, “d-don’t worry Asterix i-i won’t” he stammered.
“Ponies of ponyville'' said Mayor mare to the crowd outside, “we have some ponies new in town, so without any further Ado i introduce the Gauls!” the curtains opened and the Gauls strode out, Ponies began showering them with questions and taking multiple photos of them with Cameras, “calm down will you” Asterix exclaimed covering his eyes, “if we can just-” Cacofinix added with little to no success “SHUT UP” Vitalstatistix bellowed red in the face, the Ponies backed off in fear.
“Right, thank you now one at a time, ask your questions,” he added after calming down, “well so who’s first?”, “what are your names?” asked a pony at random, “i am Chief vitalstatistix of the village of the indomitable gauls” Vitalstatistix said, “i’m Asterix and this is Obelix and Dogmatix” Asterix introduced, “and i’m Cacofonix” Cacofinix said with a bow, “are their others like you?” another pony asked, “a whole village full and four camps of romans in the forest outside our village at the moment, that's it for now” Asterix replied.
“Why are you so fat?” asked a particular smug pony named Diamond tiara hoping to tick off the gauls, there was a collective gasp from the other ponies and some nervous looks “i am not fat just nicely covered is all” Obelix said patiently, Obelix had a soft spot for children so he remained calm when his weight came up with them.
If you were a Roman or grown man however, dead loss.
“oh really?” Silver spoon said sarcastically, “yes and we’ll leave it at that it’s becoming a boar” Asterix said, “Speaking of which it’s lunch time” Obelix said, “no obelix not until i…” Cacofnix said, “one note out of you and I’ll bore you into the ground” Asterix threatened.
But before anyone could get them any lunch they were interrupted by a platoon of royal guards marching up, “halt your coming with us” said the leader of the guards, it was Shining armor, “big brother what are you doing here?!” Twilight exclaimed, “we are here to arrest these Gauls and bring them to the Princess’” Shining armor replied.
“Shall we get them?” Obelix asked hopefully, swimming his arm around him in the air, “no Obelix we shall go willingly under a few conditions” Vitalstatistix said, “and what are those?” Shining armor said through gritted teeth, “for one let the crowd have three more questions” Vitalstatistix said. The crowd in question perked up as they did have a few more questions to ask but were worried they would not get the chance to.
“Oh fine but make it quick” Shining armor said, “okay so who’s next?” Asterix asked, “are you here to invade us?” a pony asked, “uh no we just keep out invaders” Asterix said taken aback, “are you here to probe us?” Another pony asked, “what does probe mean?” Obelix asked.
“Are you going to dissect us?” A final pony asked and Vitalstatistix decided enough was enough, “Invade?, Probe?, dissect? Is that all you think of something new?!” He demanded.
“That it for the questions their beginning to get me down worse then these two” he continued gesturing to his shield bearers who glared as they walked over to the guards, wobbling slightly under Vitalstatistix weight.
“Take us away I’ve had it with this lot, and I thought pony’s were accepting I’ll have some strong words with your princess” Vitalstatistix ordered, the guard obeyed the order not that they hadn't already.
They took another train, after the little outburst of Vitalstatistix the Mane 7 were not too sure about them, at least they weren’t out for invasion. “I still don’t like them” Rainbow dash said, “now rainbow you can’t judge them because they beat you at the camp”.
“I still owe them a bashing” Rainbow Dash said pouting, Shining Armor echoed her words to the Gauls, “I still owe you for what you did to my men '' Shining Armor said. The Gauls were repentant, “well fair is fair is supposed” Obelix said standing up from his seat, Asterix wanted to make friends and be fair, so by his logic if he took a shot at them it was only fair that they took a shot at him.
“Here, take a shot” he said gesturing to his belly, “what?!” Twilight said incredulously, was this Gaul really that Stupid, “a-are you serious?” She asked, Obelix nodded, a wolfish grin spread across her face.
“Oh don’t worry. As Obelix said ``fair is fair” Asterix reassured them, “you're agreeing to this?” Twilight demanded even more incredulously, “well then can you go a bit further back?” Rainbow dash asked.
Obelix backpedaled to the very end of the train car, the other ponies and guards watched slightly worried, Rainbow dash flew to the other end of the car, “don’t hurt him too badly Rainbow?” Fluttershy said.
Rainbow ignored her and shot straight towards Obelix and shot straight towards Obelix
CRASH
“Hey where is she going?” Obelix asked, looking at the hole in the ceiling of the train where Rainbow shot in a rainbow trail up into the stratosphere.
The Gauls burst out laughing, “she really ‘Comet’ you didn’t she” laughed one of the shieldbearers, that tipped off the guards and they burst out laughing, “she D-asteroid the ceiling” joked one of the guards.
“Huh?” Obelix asked confused, “oh never mind Obelix” Asterix said with a sigh, “it isn’t ‘Earth’ it” he added, “in all seriousness though I hope she doesn’t cause the sky to fall on our heads” Vitalstatistix said.
“Well serve her right to put herself between a Rocket and a hard place” Applejack commented.