9 days later...
[[Initialising...]]
[Booting...]
[Booting successful!]
[[Stand by, starting log... ready!]]
Is this thing on? Are those words being saved? How to make them be saved? Note to self: check how the pad works instead of improvise. But now that I've gotten the keyboard working at all, let's make use of it. At least this one in my cabin works with our alphabet... not with the two that the humans use. Two!
So, in case it is indeed saving, hi! Um, hello! We are Luna, a new crew member! Yes! The crew is getting expanded, and we are the addition! Well, for now at least, I am...
It's interesting how I ended up here. An argument with Tia, one I wish had not occured, and a wish cast upon my starry sky, for us and humans to get along, just for once... and this idea, come up with on the spot. Another bickering, and bickering, and bickering, and here I am... a few days later, on a few-week-long "demonstratory flight".
I'm scared.
I'm scared because I'm going alone, with nopony I know even remotely but Stanley by my side. I'm scared because for the first time in so long, I will be approaching frontlines oh so hot with the flames of war... the war.
The war.
What do we ponies do... what do we do? Do we step in, to help our fellows, or... maybe, I... maybe Tia has a point, I've... read about the Republic, I've read about the war, maybe I shouldn't have, but I have, I read and heard, and what?
We have never seen or heard of anything like it.
Horror overwhelming. Terror I can't describe for it costs so many their lives it is unfathomable even for us. We... don't want that for ponykind. And yet if they need us... can we leave them alone?
And should we give the Republic a reason to force us to choose? If desperate, really as desperate as they sound... why would they not? They are facing extinction...
Now that we think about, it... it is a miracle they, needing time as they do, commit to any negotiations there are at all... maybe it's even his doing...
And the protesters on the streets won't take anything but full isolation... somehow, those madponies managed to convince themselves that the humans tried to kidnap me, that they've been here for so long... I think, that... we don't even know their ideology, that's how scary it is! Ugh!
Things used to be so simple, back when...
We've spoken to Princess Twilight Sparkle, and she agrees with our judgement. With so much on the line now, things past seem so simple, so... black and white, even. A villain appears, be gone with them. And now...
I lack words to describe how much things have changed. We do not posses steam to govern anymore, not through this, not like so. I need this trip, after all, however scary it mightso be. I need to go and see, to learn, even to risk myself to be able to be a Princess everyone would want me to be. To do things my sister is afraid to do, to see my night sky in all its majestic glory, to go against all those on the streets who would maybe even see me hanged for actions like this.
But no. I have to. I need it, and I need to regain steam. I need to. Even if eventual trust would mean temporarily going against all the populace.
I need to be a good ruler.
...
What are we writing about? That makes no sense. I know not myself. It's hard, it really is. We are on the precipice of something so monumental, and yet there is so much to be done. So much to lose... perhaps I have let my sympathy for the man cloud my judgement, perhaps I have not. I do not know anymore...
What if Tia is right? What if they may just exploit us, what if... what if all this, all this is just a loss for ponykind? That's what the population seems to think...
Tis' how the ideals of friendship are seen by our own; there only so long as it doesn't risk their own self. And now, our friendship is needed more than ever... and what do they do?
And frankly as is, the humans have shown me more friendship than all the ponies, except Tia and Princess Twilight, combined. It is so strange to think so, but it is true indeed...
But... what do we do now? No matter whether our choice good or not so, we have chosen. We will see the human realm, as was arranged. We will see the fight, the strive, the technological marvels that grace their ships, the... all of the things that they chant songs about, my starry sky as well. So perhaps... perhaps it is better to try and relax some, while our choices of now matter not as much.
And so, we are laying here in our cabin, the shouts of the protesters for once, here, not heard. There are more and more of them every day, occupying the streets of Canterlot... their mass pushing closer and closer to the might walls... but for now, let us not think about it. For now, it is just us, here, calmly, while they remain isolated outside the walls. Yes... calmness. That is what we should strive for right now... a few inhales and exhales, in this chamber we are in on our own, undisturbed and safe. It is not a big space, just a few square meters next to a bunk, a clearly non-pony desk as well as an oddly-shaped bathroom right by the entrance. I must remember not to drink too much while in here.
It is not like the royal chambers of Canterlot, I would never have thought though that a room so... common would make me feel so... cozy.
It is our own. Only our, and it is, as appears, only slightly better than that of the others. It makes us feel like one of them. Like... for the first time in so long, like a member of something. Like a member of the crew, like a human fellow as others are. In a way...
It is so strange to talk like so. Am I a traitor to ponykind? Or perhaps an enlightened diplomat, the only who can see reason? Oh, well... only time will tell. Perhaps we are going in to certain doom by boarding this here starship. It is a 'runner', they had told us; the smallest type of human warships. Is it safe? Is it a good idea? We know not... perhaps, just perhaps, their superiority among the skies makes it so.
Hah, we still remember some of our warrior days... of over a thousand winters back... we are impressed with ourselves, that we are, admit I have to.
Howeverso, a vessel like this seems small not; the Castle Gardens were barely able to accomodate its massive form. And for much of the trip, it is to be 'docked' with a larger warship... we only hope they don't make us change rooms too often, if at all. This one, I do, after all, quite so like.
What worries me is Stanley's presence on the vessel. Not that it would ever disturb us, on the contrary, it is a pleasing sight indeed, however we have noticed how strangely some of the others seem to be eyeing him. With suspicion or caution even, might I say, as long as he stays onboard the ship. How to interpret it, I know not, but we suspect it's a matter of the mentioned 'reeducation' he spoke of. Only because of his bond with us was he released back into Equestria, after all, apparently... good thing we requested him to come this time as well, perhaps sparing him unpleasantries.
What is this 'reeducation', even? We know the Republic likely has to rely on devotion to the fight, it has to, it is understandable for us perhaps moreso than to our sister, however the word does not seem to carry positive energy with itself. Or perhaps it does; after all, we can know not. What may it be...
So many questions...
What of this flight, what of this flight... what of me, what of Equestria, what will transpire now. I know not. I cannot know. It's a scary thought indeed that so much might happen which we fail to think of. What good is there even in thinking, currently? The choice has been made, we can change it no more. It will happen, no matter what. Maybe it's best to get some rest, while we're at it, while we can... while we're still on Equis, for the last time for some time.
We're scared.
Why did we request this? Maybe to try and solve the deadlock at the negotiating table, maybe to learn more of these 'Cyanosians' Stanley had mentioned, maybe to see the human realm, maybe because we've bonded so well... with Stanley... maybe because he is the one who has given us a chance, the only new one in years... oh well...
But what if that is what they want? What they pursue? What if, just by chance, they really do aim to subdue me this way?
Again, I... maybe it better just not to think... as the choice cannot be changed no more regardless... is calmness not better than dooming nerves? It is, it is... or perhaps not; we do not know anymore.
What am I writing? Why am I doing so? Perhaps just to pass time, as we prepare for takeoff. I have been offered a place on the bridge as a demonstration, and... we are still pondering it. I might just take the offer, as long as Stan is there. We feel... safer, in his company.
Has he subdued us? Is this all manipulation...? Or shall we trust our sister's friendship lessons and try to build upon it all...?
Hah, so funny it is, seeing who sticks to those ideals in times of need and who does not. If I do interpret said ideals correctly myself, that is... I hardly know anymore. But I hope so, I really do... otherwise, it will be so hard to tell the difference between good and evil, as my sister's teachings dwindle and die out, like the flame of a softly wind-blown candle...
How do we know what's right or wrong?
...
We do not. We can not. There is no right, nor wrong. Only reality.
We... better get some rest... there is a long journey ahead of us... and despite all the scares, a still exciting one, indeed.
[Closing down...]
[[Closed successsfuly]]