-Approaching Saint Canard, Pom-
“And… breathe…” Deepak you were a credit to everyone who specializes in peaceful ritualistic meditation. “That’s the session, are you feeling better Pom?”
“Well my perception of everything around me is not speeding up out of my control, also I’m not exactly going to be anxious until the time we go in for a landing.” My meditation call to the Dalmatian home went splendidly.
“Everyone we’re going to land in Saint Canard in a minute.” As soon as Launchpad said that, the good vibes fled my body and I was now wide eyed with panic.
“Ocellus, secure Smolder, Shanty secure Dodo’s egg, Darkwing if you have some kind of gas to foam canister that would be greatly appreciated right now!” While I knew Launchpad’s landings were survivable, they were always ridiculously atrocious in an over the top manner that warranted my panic.
“Look, Pom, just let it happen and relax.” Smolder said from her position on the floor, incapable of moving because we were keeping her in the splint. At least up until Ocellus could get her horn working again, that'd help immensely with any medical procedure. “I’m not made of glass, but yeah, I do want to avoid making things worse.”
That Smolder can feel any pain from the lower half of her body meant she’d be walking again, but right now she needed the most help.
“How are we going to logically prepare for the landing Pom?” About to suggest something to Ocellus, I got beaten to the punch.
“Come on dad, let me use the Bungee Bolts!” Bungee bolts, whatever they were, Gosalyn was excited to use them.
“After what happened last time young lady.” Drake grumbled out. “Do I have to remind you why the bungee bolts are dangerous?”
“What happened last time?” Maui asked, still hard to not compare him to Donald as they were almost twin brothers in appearance.
“We don’t talk about it.” Gosalyn and Drake said at the same time.
“Right, so what can these Bungee Bolts exactly do in this situation?” Maui started tapping a foot as Gosalyn got out two of her crossbows and started loading them both with tethered bolts.
“This!” She fired the tethered bolts from both crossbows and they hit the inner walls of the cargo plane, a stretchy chord wobbled between them. “See dad, it worked… this time.”
“Do several more.” Drake said with a flat tone and Gosalyn started to load two more tethered bolts. “You might need the practice later.”
“What’s all this fuss about the landing?” Oh right, Maui had never been in an airplane with Launchpad as the pilot.
“Yeah, when Launchpad says he’s going to land the plane, he means crash it in the most spectacular manner possible!” Several more Bungee Bolts were fired around the cargo hold by Gosalyn slowly creating something like a small web. “Also everyone miraculously survives these crash landings, but whatever he’s piloting sure doesn’t and you still get some injuries from them. Nobody has ever been critically injured in a Launchpad landing, but we’re not taking chances here.”
“I be calling close to the ceiling and upside down to be right side up at the end of this!” Shanty stated as she slowly hefted the heavy metal egg up the cords. “The plane will be being on its back, possibly after several flips.”
“I call tail in the air and the nose straight down impaling the ground!” Gosalyn stated. “Side bet, some part of the plane breaks off after we’ve stopped for no reason whatsoever.”
“I’ll bet tail in the ground to the point where we can see the sky and nose broken or bent off at a funny angle away from pointing directly at the sky!” Dolly said with glee and looked to me to translate for her and I do, she smiled as she looked to the others.
“Ooh… I bet plane undamaged but half sticking out of a building!” Ocellus joined in as she carried Smolder up into the bungee chord’s and secured her special some-dragon, Shanty came down to help once she got Dodo’s egg carefully wrapped in the bungee cords.
“Risky bet there Ocellus, the plane being personally undamaged is a rare attribute.” Smolder said from where she was secured by Ocellus and Shanty. “I’ll go the opposite, the plane splits completely in half in any given direction. Also as a side bet, the half we vacate will get crushed by a wrecking ball.”
“What kind of mess did I get myself into?” Maui asked with a sudden look of worry.
“There, there, that’s how I’m currently feeling too.” I patted Maui gentled on the back with a hoof as I sat next to him. “That said… I’m betting everyone somehow falls out safely, except for Launchpad, sometime after the first bounce onto or into something relatively soft. Side bet, parts of the plane come out in the form of an impossibly twisted work of art that's recognizable by someone nearby.”
“Before you ask, yes Maui, Launchpad is that unpredictable when it comes to his landings. We think Launchpad has some kind of strange magic that makes him and everyone near him survive any kind of crash possible. There’s a one to fifty trillion odds he doesn’t crash, but that’s only available for things that don’t have wings, he’s not personally piloting and just happens to be in the vehicle at the time, it doesn’t matter if he is a willing passenger or not.” We were all looking to Drake. “Fine, fine… put me down for a runway belly slide into another plane that has nobody on it, with half this plane being totaled while the other one gets shoved aside a little with minimal to no damage.”
“Can I get in on this action? I’m betting wings fall off, propellers fly off after we hit the ground and one veers around like a boomerang to cut the plane in half, the other one topples the air control tower. With nothing bad happening to the people inside!” Dormarch proclaimed as his bet with his chest puffed out. “Anyone from the Dalmatian family want to get in or do I cut the call before they hear us screaming for our lives?”
“Yeah, please do Dormarch… my bet is at least one person covered in glass, but doesn’t bleed.” Dylan said as he showed up on the screen with Spot. “Side bet, Launchpad ends up wearing a flamenco dress.”
“Hah, knew you couldn’t resist bro!” Dolly yelled from her position of holding onto Dodo’s egg with Shanty.
“Please call us back after you land Dolly and tell us how it went, we worry about you a lot, especially the whole thing that happened in Cape Suzette. Cut the connection Dormarch.” Dylan, Spot and Deepak disappeared.
“Can I make a bet too?” Launchpad asked innocently as I climbed up the bungee cords and hastily motioned for Drake and Maui to do the same.
“No, you’re a professional!” Chimed Smolder, Shanty, Dormarch, Gosalyn and even Dolly despite her not being capable of being understood outside of singing or having a translator.
“Oh right… I guess that would be cheating…” Launchpad said as he turned the plane downwards towards the airport. “I was going to make comment that the right engine gets hit by a golf ball, left engine burns out and most of the stuff you said happens, but not in the way you think it will and at the end of it the golf ball gets knocked out and causes a hole in one to happen.”
“Can we just… not crash?” Maui received dirty looks from absolutely everyone, even Launchpad…
…
…
…
Yes, that question alone, and the aforementioned random golf ball Launchpad wanted to bet about, is what caused the inevitable crash.
-Minutes later-
“Wow…” Maui stated after a series of events that no one else would have survived had it not been Launchpad flying the plane.
“Alright tally up, who got the closest?” I said calmly despite my body quaking and shivering from the stress of what we just went through. I had landed on the world’s softest mattress at least, Shanty landed in a cake… I feel sorry for whatever caterer brought that here. I think Gosalyn was the only one to hit the trampoline that was delivered to the wrong place.
“My word I am so terribly sorry to have hit your left engine!” A dog biped in a suit with a monocle came running up to us.
“Don’t worry about it… but that means I still wouldn’t have guess correctly even if I were allowed to partake in the game.” Launchpad, approached us with a slightly bruised face and a flamenco dress, didn’t seem too upset about that or being covered in glass and wasn’t bleeding. He just calmly wiped the glass off of himself. “I’m just glad we’re all okay after that one, it’s one of my best ones yet!”
“Actually I do want to talk about that some more my good sir… it looks like a part of it turned into a classic work of art, I’ll pay to have you’re plane fully fixed and an extra amount of money beyond that for your personally use.” The fancy looking dog raised a gloved hand into the air. “Why I’ll even pay for replacements for the parts that will soon become the centerpiece for my mansion foyer my good fellow!”
“That sounds good to me.” Launchpad shook hands with the nice fellow with the golf clubs. “Say... did you get a hole in one?”
“No, but I got it on the green and got an Eagle, then I came here to see if everyone was okay.” Well the rich guy had his priorities somewhat straight.
“Not going to lie, I’m actually impressed beyond words.” There was an awed look on Dolly’s face as the firetrucks drove by. “Split in half down the middle, back section upside down at a forty five degree angle, half the nose landing down and the backside of the other half up and bent at a jaunty angle… how did we even survive all that?!”
As soon as Dolly said this a wrecking ball came out of the sky and crushed the tail section of the plane that we had already evacuated. The second propeller did fly into a nearby construction site after bisecting the plane.
“Whoa…” Smolder said with reverence as we watch the control tower topple over from the first propeller. “Launchpad, you are the most terror inspiring person alive.”
“Hey, I be right, I was right side up and first to get off!” Shanty stated cheerfully, that’s when the wings finally fell away from the split middle of that upside down portion of plane. “Also part of it be upside down… somewhat…”
“Everyone aside from Drake and Ocellus mostly made theirs, Launchpad would have mostly made his… but accuracy has to go to Dylan.” I wasn’t about to comment on how if Launchpad said the opposite wings he’d be spot on with what happened… well aside from the plane being cut in half at least three times. “He wins, because nobody could have made a prediction like!”
“Wait a second…. we have to disqualify Dylan!” Dolly raised a digit to the sky with an angry growl. “Dormarch call Dylan and tell him it’s not fair using Dante Doomsday Dalmatian to cheat! He’s not getting this one over on me!”
“The next closest would be a tie between Dormarch, Dolly, Smolder, Gosalyn and me so… yeah.” I slowly wobbled on my hooves. “Gosalyn still counts as she didn’t say how the tail was oriented in the air and a portion of the nose did impale the ground… through a parked car… now if you’ll excuse me.”
Eyes roll up, flop onto my back and promptly pass out, into the large comfy mattress.
-In the city proper-
“Yeah, his crashes traumatizes everyone their first time Maui.” No seriously, I have gotten used to being on a plane with Launchpad as the pilot and I hadn’t even been through more than five crashes with the guy. It was strange and irrevocably insane, but I trusted him to take me anywhere and knew that we would get there alive, also mostly in one piece. “You’ll get used to it, because I certainly have. So where can we find a hotel Drake?”
“Oh no you don’t, I have a home in the suburbs. All of you can come stay with us while you’re here, there’s plenty of room!” Drake motioned to himself, Gosalyn and Maui. “Given that it’s evening we’ll get you settled in first, then we’ll see about getting to San Fransokyo. After that flight, and the landing, I’m sure we’re all hungry, I’ll show you all to a good restaurant I know of.”
“Sure, but I’ll pay. I’m not really using my money much for anything aside from food at the moment anyway.” I offered, because knowing Shanty… “Anyway, anything interesting in Saint Canard?”
“Well there’s Morgana Macawber’s year round haunted house, she’s a sorceress with a high tendency to cause accidents with her magic.” Yeah no, not going near anyone with the name that sounds suspiciously like 'macabre' Gosalyn.
“Funny I’d thought you’d try suggest Stegmutt at the Natural History Museum as a first attraction to this city.” Drake glanced at me for a bit. “I’m sure you’d like the museum, but I really wouldn’t want to subject you to Stegmutt.”
“Put out the Darkwing, put out the Darkwing.” Giggled Gosalyn after stating what has to be some form of in joke.
“Who’s Stegmutt?” As we continued along Maui was glancing around the streets with a sharp eye.
“He’s… a… fri-…friend…” It looked like Drake was struggling to get that out of his beak. “You’ll know him if you ever see him at least.”
“Yep one of the members of the Justice Ducks. Our other members are Neptunia, a fish mutated into a biped by toxic waste, Morgana I’ve already mentioned as living in an actual haunted house and Gizmo Duck is considered a core member too when he’s not in Duckberg.” How many hero teams were there in this world Gosalyn? Wait, world, don’t answer that if you’re listening to my thoughts! “Then we have our auxiliary members Duckhunter who shows up with a big gun for big situations, Muck-Draker the muddiest magical duck monster ever and The Fantastical Rubber Chicken!”
Dolly perked up at the last name and her tail started wagging.
“No Dolly, whoever that last one is, you’re not bothering them.” Knowing what I do, Dolly wouldn’t want to leave until she at least saw him.
“But Pom, a literal rubber chicken is part of a super hero team, I’ve got to gnaw on him at least once just to say I honestly did it!” Rolling my eyes at Dolly, we continued making our way towards the nearby suburbs from the airport.
“Then there’s the two best, most active, core members of the team. Darkwing Duck and Quiverwing Quack, but that’s just bias on our part.” Gosalyn stated while hiking up her pack, the suburbs seem quiet and nobody accosted us on our walk over here. “I mostly keep a better sleep schedule than dad does.”
-
“Well howdy neighbors, I didn’t know you had so many friends!” The jovial large goose guy next door stated as we walked up to Drake’s house.
“Hello Mr. Mallard, coming back from a vacation?” Said the yellow feathered female biped next him.
“The Muddlefoots…” Drake started grinding his beak, then he put on a completely false friendly face. “Nice to see you too neighbors it’s been a long trip I need to get my guests inside and see to them now bye!”
Somehow Drake managed to forcefully push everyone through the door to his house in one solid group without any of us getting caught on the doorframe.
“What’s Drakes problem with them, they seemed… nice?” It was the impression I got from seeing them.
“Oh they are, it’s just that my dad finds them annoying for a variety of reasons and he’s socially awkward for someone who runs around in costume at night beating up thugs, also you can only take so much of them in given bursts.” Then Gosalyn said something that bothered me. “If you see Binkie, the yellow feathered lady, from that household in a hero costume. Don’t ask questions, just stay far away from her until she takes a sharp blow to the head.”
“Yeah, my mother causes trouble when she turns into The Canardian Guardian.” We heard from a stuffy nosed looking goose boy that was suddenly among us. “Who are they?”
“One of dad’s cousins Maui Mallard, a half boiled detective that can apparently change into a ninja, but I haven’t seen him do anything yet and is the reason shock pistols are thing. Apparently heroics runs in the family.” Introducing the adoptive cousin, Gosalyn then pointed to us. “Friendly dimensional traveling magical aliens just trying to find their way home, they are the ones that got us a good lead on someone being able to build a dimensional portal to find my grandfather Honker. Everyone my best friend Honker Muddlefoot, the only Muddlefoot that dad actually likes... I still need to introduce him to my Duckberg friends, but we’re cool. He’s not going to tell anyone about our activities and will know about all the stuff we get up to eventually anyway. So this is Pom, she’s Leap Lamb. That’s Shanty, pirate themed hero Cut-Lass. Dolly, better known as the agile Caper Canine. Ocellus, a shapeshifter and Smolder, a dragon. The egg is their ostrich friend after almost dying from melting. There’s also Dormarch an intelligent digital entity that can manifest into reality… well if he weren’t shackled to the device he is currently in.”
“So a lot of weird stuff happened in Duckberg again I take it?” Honker said while blowing his noise and adjusting his glasses.
“Oh yeah, mercenaries, shadow monsters, gi-ants, evil witch, a magic hunting guy and the tentacle sharks that I’m going to have nightmares about.” Gosalyn gave the young goose a hug. “We’re about to head out for dinner, but we have an hour while these guys find a place to get settled in and you have to go back to your house.”
“Excuse me, but you’re taking everything she said surprisingly well.” I said as I moved up to Honker.
“I’m living vicariously through Gosalyn’s amazing life, also she’s trying to get me to assist her as a sidekick named Bolt Boy or Arrow Assistant. I help make her special equipment and I don’t mind following heroes around, my life is relatively boring otherwise.” Honker took off his glasses and cleaned them a bit. “I’ve just about seen it all at this point and learned to stop questioning our reality being bizarre, that was some time after the third alien invasion in the Mallard’s backyard.”
-Later at the restaurant-
“So these are the Justice Ducks?” I looked around at the gathering that somehow started up with the various known heroes and took a sip of my drink with a pink cloth tied to my forehead. We left Smolder and the egg back at the house with Maui. We’d be bringing food back. “Some of them aren’t ducks.”
“That’s what I said!” Neptunia stated while forking some food with her trident, she was wearing a backpack with water in it and a seashell. Apparently she had a weakness to drying out when on land and the water pack kept her moist. “One of us is a chicken for crying out loud! Also nice to meet you, you look competent for a hero compared to these idiots.”
“Er… thank you?” Maybe the idiot comment was mostly directed at Stegmutt, a huge biped stegosaurus. It was impossible to not notice him.
“It’s so nice of you to be back in Saint Canard darling.” Morgana Macawber wasn’t as scary as I was expecting, but Ocellus didn’t trust her magic wielding skills after creating sentient food for the third time in the last ten minutes.
“Hey, I used to be a duck… I just liked being a dinosaur better.” Stegmutt was not exactly the greatest mental prowess around, but at least he was friendly. Reminds me of the stegosaurus’s back on Equus were terrifyingly powerful with magic back plates, this one looked to be all physical prowess. He picked up a costumed Darkwing and crushed him in a hug. “Thank you for inviting me to dinner Darkwing.”
“Don’t… mention it… Steg...” Wheezed Darkwing and I could see that Stegmutt would give Paprika a run for her bits, but I’m quite sure she’d still win a hugging contest.
“Uh, can someone get Caper Canine off of me?!” Rubber Chicken shouted flailing his rubbery leg as Dolly smiled and continued to hold onto him with her teeth. Aside from being an auxiliary member of the Justice Ducks, he had his own team that came with him. Banana Boy, Glue Gal and The Sneeze Master, they had day jobs apparently and part timed hero work. “She’s not hurting me, but her affectionate chewing and the way her tail is wagging is making me very uncomfortable!”
I’m only now starting to wonder why we were all being treated as if all of the costumed weirdoes in one place was normal or if people were just used to Darkwing eating at places in costume. I almost felt safe here among many various acquaintances who could definitely handle all the fighting, ALMOST.
“Hey, Darkwing, I’m glad I could make! I barely didn’t get the invite in time, nice to see your doing better Leap Lamb.” The flat look Gizmo Duck was receiving from Darkwing let me know that he didn’t invite him and someone among the Justice Ducks did.
“Dolly, get off the nice super hero and eat your food!” I turned to Arrow Assistant, Honker Muddlefoot. “Nice costume.”
“Thank you.” He stated as he pushed up his glasses and snorted. “I told my parents I was eating out with Mr. Mallard and they allowed it.”
“So with this many heroes in one spot, everything is going to go wrong right about… now!” I looked around and… nothing? “Okay paranoia aside, I’m having a really decent time here.”
Huh, must be delayed like Cape Suzette, I really didn’t want to be here when things actually kicked off.
-Equus, Treehouse of Harmony, Yona-
“So summit not be lasting much longer?” I be asking of yak friend Jaded.
“Nope, I also thought that this meeting might be a nice way to see how my granddaughter Harmony is doing.” Jade be patting Harmony’s trunk, Yona think she be having a weird granddaughter that is already being Yona’s friend that Yona is not knowing much about until now.
“Wait does that make me her uncle by adoption?” Gallus asked as he looked up at Harmony. “Oh no, I might like friendship… having a family… but having a niece that’s a tree, that is going a bit too far!”
The entire tree wilted.
“Ah come on harmony, he’s just upset that he can’t play pranks on people without his pal Smolder around, which is why I brought him here and told him to drag his friends along!” Jaded sat down and beckoned us forward as she unrolled a scroll. “Here’s my plan called Luna Lunacy, I was wondering if you would help me with it!”
Looking over the scroll a grin grew on Gallus’s beak.
“Oh yeah, I can get behind this!” Gallus started rubbing his talons together.
Yona take a look too and decide for herself.
“Yona can be doing that!” I immediately replied cheerfully.
“I’m in if they’re in!” Silver Stream said brightly.
“I can feel the peer pressure on my spine already!” Sandbar stated loudly when we all looked his way. “Of course!”