“Somehow, I feel like we’ve been suspended in time for almost six years…”
“You must be imagining things, my dear sister. There’s no way we would be left suspended in time for that long.”
“Hmmm… I suppose you’re right. It would take somepony who was very cruel to do something like that.”
“Indeed.”
“Well, Lulu, I have some news…”
“What is it?”
“It appears that Cadance has sent us a letter. A very threatening letter.”
“Ooh, how interesting. I must prepare for her attack at once!”
“No! Wait! It could be a trap. We must decode this letter and find out her plan.”
“Let’s do it.”
“Get off of me!” Spike yelled, pushing away Sweetie Belle with little success. Sweetie Belle ignored him and instead pursed her lips and let out mocking kissing sounds.
“Muah, muah, come on Spike, let me love you!”
“No! I love Rarity, not you!” he shrieked once more, finding an opening and sliding himself free of her grasp. Quickly, he stumbled over to the door and pulled at the knob only to find that the keyhole had been jammed full of putty. He was stuck.
“Tsk tsk, is that how you treat a lady?” Sweetie Belle cooed, eyeing him up and down. She stalked over to him as if she already controlled her prey.
“Sweetie Belle have you lost your mind! I was singing those songs to Rarity. Not you!” he repeated to no avail.
“Uh huh, whatever you say loverboy.” she replied. Spike frantically looked around for some sort of escape and saw that the window didn’t appear to have been tampered with. If he could just get over to the window, he could launch himself out.
“Wait, wait, wait a minute, hold on. Pause.” Spike said, holding his claws up. “Time out. You’re telling me that the only way to escape is to throw myself out the window? Have you lost your mind? I’m not gonna do that.”
“You know what, that’s a good point.” Sweetie Belle added. “This is stupid. I like Spike but I don’t want to get him killed. This entire situation was just poorly planned out, really.” She moved over to the door and yanked the putty out of the keyhole with her magic. “You can go, Spike. I’m sure that the narrator will come up with a better situation at some point. Hopefully it doesn’t take another six years to do.” she said. The narrator’s feelings were hurt a little bit and may have even cried a little.
“Yeah, what a loser. Hey, you wanna go grab a milkshake or something Sweetie Belle?”
“Okay!”
“Being an empath… I’m sensing some confusion here.” Cadance stated, looking over at Twilight, whose jaw was on the ground.
“B- but. Y- you you’re… I’m…” she babbled. Cadance lifted her hoof up to Twilight’s mouth, silencing her.
“It’s okay Twilight. I’m here to visit! I’ve also got some ‘business’ to take care of with Luna. Serious business,” she said nonchalantly. “Though I seem to have made a mistake. I meant to send those two a very threatening letter, but I realized that I sent the wrong one. I’m not exactly sure what I sent, but I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’ll have the element of surprise!” she said enthusiastically. Twilight could feel a migraine coming on.
“No, no, no. I can’t stay here. You have fun, I’m going to stay with Shining. I can’t take it anymore.” Twilight managed, clutching her head.
“HA! Well, hope you get used to this soon.” she laughed. “You’re a princess now. This is all part of the fun. This will be going on for years and years. I’m sure you’ve read about the multiple rebuilds of Canterlot castle over the years? Do you think those were just routine?”
“No… You’re telling me…”
“Yes, Twilight. Those are royal prank wars.” Twilight fell onto her haunches, her pupils now pinpricks and her ears twitching. Her mane suddenly disheveled and her lavender coat now a few shades lighter.
“No… No…” Twilighted repeated over and over under her breath. Cadance patted her shoulder reassuringly.
“There there. You’ll get used to it quickly. Tell you what, you can stay at the Crystal Palace until Canterlot is back up and running. But I have to warn you… If you do that, you’ll be the first one that I prank after this is all over.” she smirked. Twilight turned and faced her sister in-law and stared in horror.
“All aboard!” called the conductor. The whistle of the train echoed through the station. Cadance just smiled and nodded at Twilight, who had managed to get herself up and onto the train with her luggage in tow. She turned around and weakly waved goodbye to Cadance as the train scraped forward along the iron and chugged on toward the Crystal Empire.
Luna chewed on an apple as she sat across the table from her sister. Celestia, sported reading glasses and quickly scanned across the piece of parchment in front of her. The silence was broken periodically by the sound of loud munching and then spitting of apple seeds into a metal trash can.
“Lulu, knock it off. I’m trying to decipher this letter Cadance sent us. What does it mean? What is she trying to tell us?”
“Hmm, let me see it sister. Maybe I can decipher it.” Luna said, tossing the core of her apple into the trash. Celestia levitated the paper over to her sister who grabbed it out of the air and scrutinized it closely. She stared at it for a good ten minutes before finally breaking the silence again.
“Ahem… with my rigorous and deep inspection, I have found that this is an empty parchment paper with a coffee stain on it signed by Cadance. How incredibly diabolical...” she stated.
“Yes… I’m aware. Why did she send that to us?”
“I dunno.”
“Ugh.”
DING DONG
“Twilight back already? I would’ve thought she’d be halfway across Equestria by now. Who could that be?”